.
.
"What the hell is going on?!" Tomoko said, as men in black suits chased them down the street. Tires squealed, a car braking in the crosswalk in front of them. More men came out of the car.
"Get away from her, you reprobate miscreant!" Audulie cried, and she tased him.
The man screamed, falling on his knees. Tomoko and Audulie started running.
"The police! The police! There's an officer, let us go to the police!" Audulie cried, as a policeman rushed toward them.
xXx
.
"Do you know who could be targeting you, Miss?" the detective said. Audulie and Tomoko were both sitting in the station, blankets around their shoulders while the detective poured them styrofoam cups of coffee.
"I do not know," Audulie said. "But perhaps I have been indiscreet on social media. I recently came into a bit of wealth, you see," Audulie said. Her fingers gripped the cup. "That is why I believe they are targeting me."
They brought them to a police line up. Different men in suits were standing behind the bullet-proof glass, holding up numbers and facing them, impassive.
"Are you able to identify the man who attacked?" the officer asked. Audulie shook her head.
"I do not know," Audulie said. "It was such a blur. But he knew who I was, that I know for certain."
"Could it be someone from your world?" Tomoko asked in a low voice. Audulie shook her head.
"I do not know, but I fear for your safety as well as my own," Audulie said.
There was nothing else to do but go home. "Stay with me," Audulie said. "There is safety in numbers and one oughtn't be alone."
xXx
.
Days passed. No one else came for them.
"Your mojito, Madam," a waiter said, handing it for her. "And also, a message."
"What?" Audulie took the drink from the waiter.
There was a piece of paper rolled like a straw in her glass. Her hand was shaking as she unrolled it.
Do not be afraid, Princess.
We know who you are, but we have found a solution.
If you want to go back to your kingdom, please dial this number
We will not bother you any further.
"And you're sure you've not told anyone who I am?" Audulie said to Tomoko, who had raised her hands in protest.
"Of course not, Princess! A part of me still thinks you're Mayumi having a mental health crisis."
Another letter was tucked under their plate during dinner:
This life is a computer simulation.
Ask Tomoko to show you the movie, The Matrix.
You had switched places with Mebuki Mayumi at the time of your death.
There was a glitch in the system but we are attempting to fix it.
"Could this be some sort of prank?" the officer said. Tomoko waved her hand.
"Someone tried to kidnap her the other day, now we're both getting crazy messages, can't you just send a guard or someone? We're afraid something might happen."
"There's nothing we can do unless they try to attack you," the officer said. He leaned forward. "If you can afford private security, I would highly recommend it," he said.
xXx
.
They were walking down the street in Tokyo when there was a crowd of people forming at the streetcorner.
"Look, they're on horses," someone said, and Tomoko supposed there was probably an idol group nearby, maybe some cosplayers or actors filming a movie.
Traffic was in disarray. Cars were honking. Police were rushing towards something. Tomoko furrowed her brow as she and Audulie pushed through the crowd.
"It's the Count of Blood and Iron and his three knight generals!" Audulie cried, and Tomoko looked up to see four men on horseback in full fucking armor, the horses whinnying, skittish, cantering sideways as cars honked and tried driving around them.
xXx
.
"Were you the ones sending us those messages?" Audulie asked, as Saveur grinned and scratched his head. Gaspar knelt with difficulty, his armor clanging as he tried sitting by the kotatsu, while Robert rolled his eyes and started taking off his armor.
"Your Highness, it wasn't us. But there was a rift in the horizon and we thought it best to check it," Zachary said.
Outside the luxury suite of penthouse apartments, four horses were tied to a fire hydrant, curious passers-by looking as the horses stood, their tails swishing, standing next to the row of parked scooters and bicycles.
xXx
.
"Look at these toilets!" Saveur said. He turned on and off the faucets, giggling at the running water, flushing the toilets and turning on the shower. "My lord! Isn't this what you put in place in Arno?"
"It is indeed, but much more modern," Zachary said. Behind them, Audulie came up with a change of clothes for all of them.
"I have stabled your horses," Audulie said. "It took a few phone calls, but a reputable stable master will watch over them for the duration."
"Thank you, Your Highness. You have our gratitude."
"Anything for a fellow countryman," Audulie said.
Tomoko was buzzing. What the fuck, what the fuck, there were knights in full fucking armor sitting by the kotatsu. What the actual fuck.
"Oh," Audulie said, realizing. "You do not understand the lingua franca of our kingdom. How terribly rude of me." She motioned toward them. "Gentlemen, this is Lady Tomoko de Tomokawa. A former 'office woman' who is now working as my personal maidservant. Tomoko-chan, this is Zachary de Arno and his three knight generals, Sir Robert, Sir Gaspar, and Sir Saveur." She switched to Japanese mid-sentence for Tomoko's benefit.
"Um, hello," Tomoko said. Zachary waved and smiled.
"Hello," he said in Japanese. Tomoko fell over her chair.
"Oh. You speak the Japanese language?" Audulie said, curious.
"Ah. There were some blueprints," Zachary said, and he blushed, rubbing his neck. "I don't know much. Just 'Hello,' and 'Thank you,' and 'Ikemen,' and 'Bijin.'"
"How wonderful! You truly are a man of many talents!"
"Wait. Mayumi taught him 'ikemen' and 'bijin'?" Tomoko said.
"She's asking if Lady Mayumi taught you the words for 'beautiful' and 'handsome,'" Audulie translated. Zachary smiled shyly.
"She actually taught me a phrase, but I'm not sure what it means. She was quite delighted when I said it, though."
"What was the phrase?" Audulie asked. (She translated to Tomoko, "Lady Mayumi taught him a phrase.")
Zachary cleared his throat.
xXx
.
"Oh my fucking god, Mayumi," Tomoko said, cringing. Audulie blushed. Saveur and Gaspar glanced up from their food while Robert puttered around the kitchen. Zachary looked confused.
"Did I not say it correctly?" Zachary said. "I thought I had the pronunciation-"
"No, Lord Zachary, just...do not repeat it."
"O-oh."
xXx
.
This is what happened when Zachary and his men went through the light tunnel.
Zachary's horse reared up as a swift red shape came hurtling toward them, a man slamming on his brakes and turning his car sharply sideways. Another car slammed into it, the sound of the horn blaring.
"My lord!" Gaspar said. Another car came shooting toward them.
Zachary gripped his sword.
Metal clanging on metal. The car swung, the tires squealing, as the metal blade made sparks on contact. Zachary pierced a slice through the body of the car as it hurtled forward, narrowly missing them. Cars swerved. The horses reared back, galloping to avoid them.
"Positions!" Zachary cried, and his men flanked around him, Zachary at the front while his three generals took his sides, their swords hoisted in jousting position.
More cars. Cars slammed into each other as the horses reared back, Zachary tugging on the reins to keep control of them.
"What is that, my lord?!" Saveur cried, as a helicopter hovered over them.
("This is a 'hentai'?" Gautier said to Jun, looking at Jun's phone with interest. The engineers on Mebuki's side were taking their time, and Jun had pulled up the manga Mebuki was from, showing him. Things otherwise were relatively quiet.)
Police. They stormed around them, clad in black body armor and holding up riot shields, their helmets down, approaching them.
"We have invaded enemy territory," Zachary said. They formed a circle, holding out their swords.
xXx
.
"So, this is a check for one hundred million yen, and this is the copy of the non-disclosure agreement. If you sign here, we'll deposit the money in your accounts; it should be available to you next morning. Feel free to look over everything with a lawyer should you need it," Tomoko said.
Audulie deployed her army of lawyers onto the scene, reaching out to the drivers whose cars were destroyed in the incident and smoothing things over with the police. "This is quite a big favor," the Tokyo governor said, as Audulie politely requested his official pardon.
"I would humbly remind the honorable governor who financed his election operation," Audulie said. The governor nodded.
"Fine," he said. Audulie smiled and bowed in front of him.
("As is to be expected; the First Princess has conquered even this foreign nation," Zachary said. Gaspar nodded.)
xXx
.
They came out wearing modern clothes, well-dressed and freshly bathed, and Tomoko nearly had a heart attack from coughing so much, before she fumbled with her phone and snapped a picture.
"Wherefore are you taking such pictures?" Audulie asked. Tomoko held up her phone again.
"I'm taking them for Mayumi," Tomoko said. Click. "There's four hot guys standing around with wet hair and big pecs. If I didn't take these, I'd never hear the end of it," Tomoko said.
xXx
.
"I thank you for your hospitality, Your Highness, but if you have no intentions of coming back, I fear I must depart forthwith; my wife, you see, is heavily pregnant."
"The Countess Bianca?" Audulie said. Zachary beamed.
"Yes, indeed. Although thanks to your father, she is now a duchess."
"You're a duke now? How marvelous."
They traveled to the rift, leaving their horses. "I'm sorry I couldn't fetch them on such short notice," Audulie said. Zachary smiled and shook his head.
"Do not apologize, Your Highness. You have left us bathed and clothed and fed, and now we are dressed in these modern raiments," Zachary said, and Tomoko noticed to herself how good they looked in business casual, kind of like mobsters but more put-together. "The rift should be here, near this station."
They turned a corner, fully expecting to see the shimmering gash like a tall thin diamond. But the gash was gone; the tunnel had closed up.
"Oh," Tomoko said, as Zachary blanched and his generals glanced around each other. "Fuck."