.

.

"What the fuck," Tomoko said.

There was literally a hole in the floor of the garderobe, where she was supposed to squat and urinate over. A gust of cold air blew out from the hole, and as Tomoko looked over it, she could see the two-hundred foot drop into the moat below, the murky waters covered by a dense white fog.

"Can you imagine if you dropped your phone?" Tomoko said. Mebuki gave her a look. Tomoko raised her hands. "Sorry." They both stared at the hole again.

xXx

.

"So what do you do when you have your period?"

"Oh my god, so many washcloths! And holy shit, no one wears deodorant."

At that moment, a group of knights marched through the courtyard, sweaty from their exertions. Tomoko waved her hand over her nose. "Jesus.

"I feel like I'm in the middle of a renaissance fair," Tomoko said. "Or some whacked out cosplay festival.

"Hey what do you guys use to wipe?" Tomoko said. "You know, after you use the bathroom."

"There's a stick," Mebuki said.

"No," Tomoko said.

"Yeah, a stick and a sponge you dip in a bucket. And everyone friggin' shares it."

Tomoko made a gagging noise, making Mebuki giggle. But Mebuki's smile slipped a notch. Her eyes lowered.

"Tomoko-chan. How are my parents?"

"Eh?" Tomoko stopped. Behind her, Mebuki had stopped. Her hand touched a rose blossom. "Oh. I don't know. Princess Audulie never visited."

"Seriously? My mom didn't try calling, or stopping by the apartment?"

"I mean, you had your phone," Tomoko said, "and Princess Audulie moved to that penthouse - oh shit, Mayumi, I'm so sorry," she said, seeing Mebuki's face crumble. Mebuki turned, staring at the roses. "H-hey, it's not too late. You can always visit-"

"I'm in the body of a white chick, how the fuck am I supposed to explain this to them?"

"I mean, for what it's worth, everyone here looks kind of mixed," Tomoko said. Mebuki snorted. "Maybe just tell them you were in an accident?"

"I heard Audulie's pissed because Jacob and I got married. If there's ever a chance we get our bodies back, she'd be stuck married to Jacob."

"How is that a problem? Her Highness never wanted to get married, now she doesn't have to worry about getting married to some rando, she could just run around doing whatever she wants and be in a sham marriage with Jacob. How did she never think of this?"

"I think she's more upset she can't talk to the King, her father. Just like I can't talk to my parents," Mebuki said.

Tomoko straightened. "Can't you just, like, both meet them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just lie," Tomoko said. "Tell them you got in a car accident and you switched bodies in a government experiment."

"Eh? Are you serious? I might as well tell my parents we're in a computer simulation."

"I mean, freaking government body swap experiments are slightly more believable than this being a whole computer simulation."

"What about the king?" Mebuki said. "I've been posing as his daughter for a long time now. What am I supposed to say to him? 'Sorry, Your Majesty, I'm not your daughter, plus I've married your son under false pretenses.' They'll drag me to the dungeons and drown me as a witch."

"Well he's old, right? In a few years it's not gonna be a problem," Tomoko said.

"What about Princess Audulie? She misses him."

They both fell silent again.

"Princess!" the guards came running. Mebuki and Tomoko turned. "Princess! His Majesty has fallen!"

"What?" Mebuki and Tomoko rushed after him.

xXx

.

"He doesn't have much time left," the royal physician said.

At the bedside, Gautier's eyes were red behind his glasses, while Jacob stood beside him and bowed his head.

"My son," the King's hand trembled. His hand touched Gautier's knuckles. "Rule well in my stead. You have proved yourself worthy these last few months. I shall pass without worries knowing the kingdom is in your hands."

"Father." Gautier's eyes grew shiny with wetness. The King's milky eyes turned toward Jacob.

"Forgive me for how I've treated you," the King said. "You are my precious youngest son. Every day you make me proud. Take care of your brother and watch over him."

"I will, Father."

"And where is my darling daughter?"

Mebuki hesitated. "Father. Will you close your eyes a moment?" The old man smiled at her weakly and closed them.

Audulie, who had been hanging at the corner, stepped forward.

"Keep your eyes closed, Father," Mebuki said, as Audulie stepped beside him, tears streaming down her face as she took his hand.

"My darling child," the King said, and Audulie wept. "So tenderhearted. You did not wish for me to see you cry, did you?"

"No, Father," Audulie said, her voice breaking, and she sobbed, kneeling beside him.

"I am sorry, my children," the King said. "I have had this sickness for such a long time. Gautier did well to work in my place whilst I battled this. But I fear this sickness will soon take my last breath." And Mebuki realized this was why the King had been so kind to them, why he gave Jacob the hairpin and blessed their marriage: he wanted his son to be happy before he left them.

It looks like cancer, Mebuki thought, looking at him. The King was gaunt, almost skeletal, lying in the bed. No one had seen him the last few months, the King issuing orders from his bedchambers. Everyone just thought he was just being lazy and eccentric; no one else knew the royal physicians were tending to him, giving him draughts of poppy to relieve his pain and keep him from moaning. This was a rare moment when the King was lucid.

"I have been sleeping these last few months, hence," the King said. "But for the first time, my mind has cleared. I wished to say goodbye to my children."

Audulie sobbed, then hugged him.

"Oh my sweet girl. I know you loved me best." His bony arm shook as he hugged her back.

He died a few hours later.

The bells rang throughout the kingdom to mourn for him. There was too much to prepare in too short notice. At the funeral procession, Gautier's eyes were dry; he did not openly grieve for him. At the sidelines, Audulie watched, her face a perfect mask, as poised and proper as ever.

"You may weep," Jacob said to Audulie, who watched them. "No one knows who you really are. You may cry openly for him."

"I shall not." Audulie's eyes were dry. Hardened. "I am a royal. A royal must always show strength and composure."

She was acting as an example to her brothers.

The sky was a brilliant orange as the funeral procession wound its way through the kingdom, the people in the streets gathering as four white horses drew the King's casket. People wailed. Commoners tossed flowers at the casket as they passed, the coffin slowly getting swallowed by petals.

The bells rang, mournful and resonant. The sun set as the kingdom's denizens wept, while Audulie knelt by her father's grave and covered it with fresh flowers.