.

.

The first time Jacob slept next to Mebuki, he left her alone in her bed.

Jacob woke. It was still dark outside, the sun not yet peeking over the horizon, and in the darkness of the room Jacob could make out Mayumi's form curled up next to him. He had come to her room after the Count's daughter he was playing with left him alone in his bed, and he came to see Mayumi in a moment of weakness. Why did I do that? he thought. As if she could read his mind, Mayumi sighed in her sleep, then rolled over to cuddle him.

He left. Carefully pulling out from under her, he watched with dark eyes as she unconsciously pulled a pillow to her chest and snuggled it. Her hair was mussed; her belly rose and fell with her breathing. He felt a stab of longing before he pushed it down, turning quickly.

It was a moment of weakness. Jacob's face was a tight mask as he walked down the cold dark hall.

xXx

.

The problem was, too many things happened during the day that made Jacob want Mayumi to comfort him.

Pathetic. Jacob hovered by her doorway, feeling much the same as he did when he was a child standing by his mother's bed. In the early days when he was sad and lonely, he'd seen how Gautier and Audulie could snuggle the king's chest, how other children would run up to their mothers, who scooped them up and held them. At night the great big bed was lonely to him.

"Her Majesty is sharing the King's bed," the maid chided, leading Jacob away again.

Now he stood at Mayumi's doorway, hovering with indecision. Why was he here anyway? Was it because the nobles were bothering him?

No. The day was long and the nobles were irritating, and Mayumi had been too busy hosting tea parties in her garden to talk to him.

Foolish. Jacob turned, cursing himself, when the door opened.

"I thought I saw you," Mayumi said. Jacob tilted his head. She gestured. "Your feet made shadows under the doorway."

"Oh."

Perhaps it was because she was in the body of his sister, he was hesitating; but no, that wasn't it. Mayumi smiled at him, and Jacob realized she was the first person to ever show him any sort of kindness: his family found him loathsome; at best he was merely tolerated. But for some reason she truly cared about him - he didn't want to do anything to change that.

"Hey, are you coming in? Because I'm tired and I wanna go back to bed."

"Oh!" Jacob followed her in.

She helped him with his cloak, then sat on the bed and watched as he pulled off his boots. Her slender arms reached for him as he climbed onto the mattress, tugging him down next to her before pulling up the covers.

She fitted her body against his. Jacob took a breath. She burrowed close and it was better than all the affairs and sex he'd ever had, and acknowledging this made him feel embarrassed. He was mentally kicking himself for succumbing to his weakness again when Mayumi mumbled.

"You're like a warm pillow," she said, and she fell asleep against him.

xXx

.

"You don't even have to knock, just come in," she told him, the third time she opened the door for him.

He always left before she'd wake, feeling a pang of regret as he'd push himself out of the warmth of her bed. Some nights he'd wake up to feel her curled on top of him, or hugging his back with her arms tight around his waist, spooning him. She was warm and soft and affectionate and he liked it when she hugged him. If she were a married noblewoman, Jacob could be shameless. He could put on the charm and make moves on her, could laugh it off if she rejected him.

Maybe he couldn't acknowledge his feelings for her because he was afraid of what she'd tell him.

I'd rather have her friendship. How many times had she yelled at him about the incest, the fact that she was his sister even though she was a completely different person?

It happened on a quiet night, after Jacob had spent the day wrangling nobles and feeling more drained than usual. He crept into Mayumi's bed and wordlessly she held him, and he fell asleep tucked against her, exhausted.

And then he felt it: a small kiss by his temple, then his brow. A soft kiss by the corner of his mouth before she snuggled against him.

Had she just kissed him? Of course she did. Jacob didn't want to open his eyes, lest he frightened her; instead, he pressed a soft kiss against her brow, then another by her lips.

It was just the barest brush of their lips, but he was filled with happiness. He knew she felt the same way he did.

He woke the next morning and hesitated; it was still dark out, and by all rights, he should sneak out of her bed. A pang of regret stabbed him as he looked down at her, and he felt lonely and cold again.

He should be grateful for this small measure of comfort she offered. Jacob hovered over the bed. He wished she had taken over the body of another noble's daughter, instead of a woman who was outwardly his sister.

xXx

.

The first time they made love, he woke up in darkness, thought the better of it, then burrowed deep in the covers, spooning her until he fell asleep again.

He was fast asleep when the maids opened the door. "Good morning, my lady!"

"ACK!" Mayumi jumped up and shoved Jacob off the bed.

He fell with a thud. Quickly he tugged the blankets off the bed and wrapped it around himself, scooting under the bed. He could hear Mayumi's panicky voice as she tried to get the maid to leave, and he was torn between wanting to laugh or wallow in hurt feelings. Why did she push him off the bed? Did she not love him?

"Jesus fucking Christ I was gonna have a heart attack," Mayumi said. She stuck her had over the mattress.

She giggled at him. "You look ridiculous," she said, and she held a hand out, motioning to him. He took her hand and she pulled him up again onto the bed, before kissing and hugging him.

This felt nice. Jacob beamed at her, shy as a neglected child finally getting a modicum of affection.

xXx

.

"Hey wake up." She roughly shook him. "You gotta get your ass out of bed."

"Why?" he said, and he flopped over and spooned her, hugging her tight against his chest. Mayumi yelled at him.

"Because the maids are gonna be here soon! Get the hell out of my bed!"

"You realize this hurts my feelings, correct?"

He looked at her with a shit-eating grin. Mayumi smacked him.