Chapter 36 – It's Not a Fucking Grudge

18 April, 2010 6:00PM

Potter Manor

Outside Reading, Berkshire County, United Kingdom

Hermione Granger

"…at least once a week. Don't let Harry fool you, he and Draco are pretty much best friends. Though neither of them will ever admit it. I know you have had an emotional day, Mia. I only wanted to thank you for giving Harry peace of mind. He really does love you almost as much as Pansy and I do."

I laugh and one arm hug Daphne. She came home about an hour ago with the boys, James and Hyperion. Hy is sleeping in my arms and he's absolutely the most precious baby. He looks like he is going to have Daphne's blond hair and Harry's green eyes. Though James is my godson, there is something that pulls at my heart strings with little Hy.

I look at Daphne, "It was a long overdue discussion. Soon I'll tell you and Pans, I'm just emotionally drained. I hope you don't mind my present. Harry said he had the house updated with electricity a few years ago. The Pensivision has really taken off. It's the must have wedding gift for most couples. I have friends in New York, a couple, they use it all the time to communicate. They have no secrets and it's really strengthened their marriage because you can't have misunderstandings when you can see the whole memory. They watch all their special moments together. Plus I knew I would find all those memories Sirius and Remus had of Harry's parents. I hope you don't think I overstepped."

She laughs, "Mia it was an amazing gift for Harry and I, you have nothing to fear from me. I'm just trying to figure out how we can hide it from Theo. He will torture us with memories of his shenanigans."

We both laugh. I say, "We, Sasha, Draco, and Theo spent last night at a muggle pub. I realized last night how much I missed him. I'm glad Sasha and him are meshing well together, but between the two of them, no one gets a single word in. Draco and I spent the night listening to them tell stories."

She hums, "So what's happening with you and Drake?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. I'm conflicted. I want to be his friend. He's really a stranger to me now. The man he has become is so different from the boy I knew."

Daphne laughs, "Draco Malfoy is nothing like the boy well all once knew." She lifts her nose in the air, "Wait until my father hears about this." She smiles, "No, Draco is definitely not the boy we all remember."

I giggle, "That's not the boy I was referring to, more like the 18 year old, who was beautiful, a little broken, and cocky as all hell. Draco the man is so different from him. Draco the man is patient, except when he isn't, he's relaxed in his skin, he's still too fucking beautiful. Daph, he changed the Malfoy will and has left everything to me. When I asked him about it, he said he wanted to prove he chooses me and has never stopped loving me. What the fuck was I supposed to do with that, huh?"

Daphne gaped at me. She opened her mouth to speak a couple of times, "Mia let me tell you what you should do with that. You fuck his ever living brains out and marry him tomorrow."

I sigh, "Be serious. I hardly know him anymore."

Daphne laughs, "Mia what do you need to know? Yes he dated some of the most vapid cunts on the planet because they reminded him nothing of you. He barely speaks to his mother. He had his father buried at Azkaban instead of the family graveyard. He plays quidditch. He has a secret obsession with muggle movies. He has lunch every Monday with his friends. He never stopped loving you. What more do you need?"

What more do I need? "Trust. How could I ever trust him again?"

She sighs, "Mia, Draco and Astoria had no choice." She raises her hand to stop me from speaking. "They would have lost their families everything. I'll show you the memories of the photoshoot. It was a nightmare. It took two years for Astoria to earn Blaise's trust again. I've seen how hard it can be, but Blaise was like you. He didn't want to trust her with his heart again. He put her through so much grief in that two years, she nearly gave up. He was seconds from losing her. The day he proposed, Astoria told me she was done and was going to break up with him. She was convinced he would never trust and love her again. She cried all day leading to the date. I helped her get ready because her heart was destroyed by him. I know you and Draco share a soulmate bond like Astoria and Blaise. He told me last Monday during our lunch. If you don't want him in your life, all I ask is you bow out gracefully and go back to America. Don't string him along. Don't make him second guess his whole existence because of some misperceptions about him not loving you. He has only ever loved you. Merlin, Mi Eighth Year you two were so in sync it was difficult to watch. Your relationship set the bar so high, I thought I'd never have someone who would love me close to what you and Draco had. Don't give this opportunity up. I know you have a lot of things to work out, but he's worth fighting for. He is worth your love and your time. Give him a chance. Let him show you the man he is, because your right, the man he has become, is too fucking beautiful! I love you both. I have known Draco since I was in diapers. You are my family as you are Harry's family. Please know I only want two people I love to be happy."

I look at her, defeated. Daphne is elegant and I've never heard her swear in all the time I've known her. She is passionate about this. The real question is…Can I let him go now that he is back in my life? I could go back to New York and bury myself in work. I love my company. I love everything we have accomplished. I have done everything I have set out to do, and I'm fucking proud of myself. How do I forgive him? Fuck, I've almost kissed him three times already, the beach, my room, and last night while dancing. Do I have enough will power to resist him? Was Sasha right, is he inevitable?

She takes my hand, and gently says, "Mia, love isn't logical. Your great big beautiful brain can't overthink this. Love is magical. It has no reason. You don't have to make big decisions today. Be his friend, that is how you learned to trust the school bully, take time to trust the man that had never stopped loving you."

I nod, "Thank you, Daphne. I promise I will try not to hurt him. I need more time, but thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you, and I love you too."

She smiles a brilliant smile, and says, "So how about we put Hy down and break open some wine. Everyone usually arrives in about ten minutes."

I look at Hy still asleep in my arms and kiss his forehead. "I think that sounds like a fabulous idea."

We are now sitting round the dining table after eating the main course. Harry, Daphne, myself, Sasha, Theo, Draco, the Longbottoms, the Puceys, the Scamanders, Susan Bones, and Oliver Wood are all in attendance. Harry placed me at the head of the table since he said I was the guest of honor. We had very cordial dinner conversation. It was lovely evening.

Harry and I talked for hours. I told him everything about my experiences with the time-turner. We talked about The Order and how manipulative Dumbledore was. We watched some of my best memories of Sirius and Remus. We watched a few memories of Sirius and Remus' about Harry's father. I feel closer to Harry than I have in years. There was so much animosity between us from things we left unsaid. We were finally able to hash it all out. It was emotional and raw a few times, but overall, I feel so much better.

The talk with Daphne has been on my mind. I can't stop myself from watching Draco. He has a ease to him that he never had before. He was always too alert in Eighth Year, symptoms of the war, I'm guessing. This Draco is surrounded by friends. Friends he has known for longer than a decade, and made new memories with. They have a easy banter, shortcuts to stories, and inside jokes. It's amazing to watch this group of people have conversations. They are all true friends to one another.

It seems surreal to be here observing everyone. I feel somewhat uncomfortable, like I'm a stranger. I suppose I am now. Hogwarts seems like many lifetimes ago. I have changed and grown so much over the last ten years, so have they. Of course, Harry and Daphne I have be reacquainted with for the last six years. I see them about three to four times a year. I speak to Harry at least once a week on the phone, but everyone else I left behind.

I don't feel guilty for that. I love my new family of friends. I look at all the faces of people who once were my friends. They have all changed. I didn't know Adrian Pucey or Rolf Scamander at all, but everyone else, there are memories. Memories I tried so hard to forget. People I tried to forget. I look up and find Sasha's eyes. She looks concerned and is looking back at me. She mouths 'Are you ok?' I nod. I'm ok, but I think I have missed these people. People who share a history with me however fucked up it was.

I remember Luna in Second Year at the sorting ceremony. All the other students looked nervous, but I remember watching Luna. She was what I imagined Tinker Bell would be like on drugs. She just floated as of she had wings and not a care in the world. Even at twelve years old, I never knew that kind of freedom. She turned out to be rather intelligent, and so fucking kind. I didn't always understand her, and sometimes I could be a bit insensitive to her, but I always was slightly in awe of her. She was a fierce fighter during the Battle of Hogwarts. She took down her fair share of Death Eaters and fought with her whole heart. In Eighth Year, she was still Luna, but never faltered in her friendship with me. She and Ginny Weasley were once close, but when sides were picked, Luna chose mine.

I look next to Susan who is sitting next to Hannah. I was always a little jealous of their friendship. They never fought, were always together, and always supported each other. First year they found me in the library crying. I had only been at Hogwarts for three weeks and I desperately wanted to go home. I hated Hogwarts. I hated that the beautiful blond boy who was mean to me when he found out my parents were muggles. I hated my dormmates. I hated all the boys in my year, because they made fun of me for reading try so hard to good well in classes. I wanted to go home. I was sitting at a table by myself when Hannah and Susan came to sit with me. They handed me a handkerchief and asked of they could study with me. We studied most nights together. It began a routine throughout my time at Hogwarts. In Sixth Year we acquired Theo Nott. I'm not sure how that happened, but he turned out to be funny and gave a good perspective. I remember finding Susan and Hannah during the final battle, and I killed the three Death Eaters who were fighting them.

Then there is Theo. In Sixth Year he flirted with all of us. He finally gave up, but I liked having him study with us, most of the time. Sometimes he would draw attention of other Slytherins and I'd usually would run back to Gryffindor tower. Most of the time he made a good study partner. I didn't learn until Eighth Year how needy and starved he was for affection. He leaned on Draco like a lifeline, and once Draco and I started whatever we had, Theo was never far. I grew to really care about him. He was like our puppy.

I look around again and notice Pansy. Gods, I couldn't stand her. I hated her stupid pug face with her stupid fat fingers always touching Malfoy. She called me everything mean she could think of. She would always be there to laugh at me when others teased me. Then in Eighth Year, she became my friend, and one of the best protectors I've ever had. She was quick to tear down anyone that said anything about me. I think that is what initially drew me in when I met Sasha. Sasha's fiery personality reminded me of Pansy.

And Neville….I was always so tangled in drama with Ron and Harry, that my one consistent friendship took the back burner. I couldn't believe when I found that picture of Neville and I at Claire's wedding. I need to give him a copy before the night is over.

I didn't know how much I missed all of them. I had forgotten what it was like to have history with people. It's been over a decade, and yes I have a new history with my friends, our college days, trips all over the world, creating Enchantex. I love them so much, I see them everyday. However this room of people, though we weren't always friends, they knew me when I was awkward, scared, and fierce.

"So Granger, I heard you have made quite the name for yourself." I look for the source of the voice and find Adrian Pucey looking at me.

I laugh, "Ah, I suppose. It's been quite the experience. I had all these ideas on how to improve things using muggle technology with magic, and it took off quite well."

Sasha laughed, "Yes, Mia's Little Company. We had dinner last night with the most horrible woman. I think I set her straight on Mia's company."

I look at Harry, and he raises on eye brow. I laugh, "We had dinner at Bill Weasley's last night and his mother crashed the party. I told her I ran a magical tech company and he started telling me to ask George for advise."

Harry grins, "I bet George appreciated that."

Sasha laughed, "Oh, he did!"

Adrian clears his throat, "I work at the Ministry in the new Department of Magical Advancements. Your company is quite hard to contact."

I smile, "Our products are currently unavailable in the United Kingdom, Mr. Pucey."

He grins, "You are definitely related to Madame Dagworth-Granger, no doubt. No one holds a grudge quite like the Averys. You see, my great-grandmother made the detrimental mistake of insulting Madame Dagworth-Granger in the 1920's. I think she called her a barren dried-up old cow who needed to stop interfering with families who have squibs. Madame Dagworth-Granger decimated the Puceys in wizarding society. The Puceys were once one of the most powerful families in British wizarding society in the ranks of the Dagworth-Grangers, Blacks, and Malfoys. Madame Dagworth-Granger systematically destroyed our family reputation over the next decade. Our reputation took such a hit, in the 1930's Crantankerus Nott eliminated the Puceys when he wrote the book on the Sacred 28."

I straighten my back, I don't know what his point is. I don't know Adrian Pucey other than he was a Slytherin a year ahead of us. I don't trust the fact that he mentioned working for the Ministry of magic. "I see."

He laughs, "Don't worry, it's rather funny actually, I was merely stating I see the similarities. Madame Dagworth-Granger cut a family when they insulted her. You cut an entire country who insulted you."

A GRUDGE?! Everyone laughed. I'm not sure anything pisses me off more than someone calling my feelings towards this fucking rock a grudge. I glance at Harry and his eyes are wide. We have had this fight more than once. I look down and think for a minute before I respond. "I left when I felt I my growth had reached it's maximum capacity here. My family was killed by Death Eaters, my friends were moving on with their lives, and I couldn't even hold a simple Ministry job because of something as stupid as blood. From the moment I entered British wizarding society, I was told I didn't deserve my magic. The same magic, I never fucking asked for. Why would I use my talents and gifts on a society who deemed me unworthy? I purposely designed my products to be unusable in the United Kingdom. There are a couple Ancient Runes I discovered to prevent the devices from being able to power on while on British soil. I inserted them in all my products. Refused interviews with British publications. Where legal, I warded my stores around the world to prevent British citizens from entering. Our company's phone line have the greatest Caller ID technology that prevents anyone with a British country code from contacting us. All calls from the United Kingdom go straight to a voicemail I have our receptionist clean out on a weekly basis. You are correct hold on to certain feeling about my time living here, but it was hardly a grudge. I fought in a war where I did unspeakable things. I was classified as a war hero, but still received howlers and hate mail on a daily basis. All because of who my parents were. My parents who were tortured and killed at the muggle airport parking lot while trying to escape this country. My grudge as you put it was completely justified. If the British Ministry of Magic want to continue to call the exclusion of my products to their country, a mere grudge, I will gladly withdrawal my earlier compliance to begin the process of selling Enchantex products to the citizens of the United Kingdom. I complied with the complaint filed with the I.C.W. on Friday. However, Since I have full diplomatic immunity with the I.C.W, and American Citizenship. The jurisdiction of my company follows American Wizarding law, and American Wizarding Law states I can refuse business to anyone for any reason as long as I am not discriminating over blood status, race, religion, or sexual orientation. If I am further harassed I will call James Wulff, the American Representative for the I.C.W. and have a tactical team evacuate myself and Sasha from British soil in the next ten minutes."

Adrian looks shocked, "Woah, woah, woah Granger. I am sorry if I insulted you. I have been researching your company for a couple of years and was only trying to start a conversation about how amazing I think your products are."

Oh….shit. Why am I on the defensive? I close my eyes, and when I open them, I smile. "Adrian, I apologize. I overreacted. It's not your fault. My emotions have been rather volatile since I returned." I get up and excuse myself and go to the loo.

Once there I take a seat on the closed toilet and place my head in my hands. Fuck! I'm an idiot. I immediately hear a knock, and the door opens. I don't look up because I know it's Sasha. She comes over to stand on front of me.

After a couple of minutes, she speaks, "So maybe you aren't as ok as you said you were."

Ugh…."The talk with Harry was draining, and then Daphne gave her speech about Draco. I just felt lost in there. I don't have a right to miss them when I was the one that left them. At the same time I feel jealous they all moved on without me. It's so ridiculous. They are strangers now, but I somehow feel entitled to know them."

Sasha snickers, "Oh my sweet girl. How did you ever not invent a way to eat your cake and keep it too? It boggles my mind!"

I laugh, "I hate you."

She laughs, "Babe, your aura has been all over the place tonight. These feelings of missing out are normal. They were your friends, friends who truly loved you. I suspect you loved them more than you would admit before. Of course you are sad you have missed so much of their lives. We have magic. What is missing out 10 years when you can have another 100 with them. Go out there and be you. They will laugh it off and accept your outburst, because they have missed you just as much. But, I swear on all that is holy, if you leave us for them I'll burn this stupid rock to the ground."

I hug Sasha, "Thank you. I'm been so emotional lately."

She nods, "Yes it's quite annoying, but you put up with me in '06 when I was convinced I'd be an old maid forever and wore sweatpants for three months."

I laugh, "I did do that, thank the gods for summer, am I right?"

She laughs, "Come on asshole, we need more wine."

I get up and she takes my hand, and leads me back into the dining room. Immediately Pansy is standing in front of me, and says, "Can I please hug you?"

I laugh and open my arms, she steps in and whispers in my ear, "Please forgive my husband. He's dumb, but pretty."

I giggle, "It's forgiven and forgotten." I take my seat, and say, "Adrian, I apologize for reacting the way I did. I'll be more than happy to discuss my products with you. I have a team coming to here on Wednesday from the States for a preliminary study of the country. In fact one of our best sellers is currently sitting in Harry's family room. I gifted it to him today."

He smiles, "It's all good Granger. I was informed of my mistake from our host. I really am impressed with all you have accomplished."

I nod, "Well it all started while I was at Hogwarts. As you may or may not know I spent a lot of time in our library. Muggle libraries have computer systems to help you find the material you are searching for. Hogwarts system for finding books was rather lacking and it frustrated me. I started keeping a list of all the things in the magical world that would benefit from muggle technology. As muggle technology advanced in the 90's, I saw even more benefits. While I was studying at Harvard, I noticed the Magical Library very lacking in technology as well. Harvard University has one of the most extensive libraries in the country, but the magical library was devoid of technology. In America, the magical population simply embraced the muggle technologies. They owned cars, watched the tele, used phones, and the internet. I thought it would be nice to have our own network so Magical things could be easier to access, such as potions, ingredients, a magical search engine. The ideas expanded from there. I was a little ignorant about muggle technology, so I enrolled in the top technology school which conveniently was located near Harvard. Sasha's father runs a magical farm. We spent holidays with them. Her dad actually gave me the first idea for a product, the DigiGro. We sold five million units in 2005, and by 2006, we had sold over one hundred million units. It allowed us to quickly develop other devices and it exploded from there. The technology behind all the products is mine, however I now have a team of developers who work to expand our ever growing product line."

He smiles, "I have every article written about your company. We had to get help from muggle-borns to help us understand the articles. Once we knew, all that we could gain by using your devices, our department started pushing for electricity to become standardized in British wizarding society. Most wizarding homes are now supplied with electricity. Diagon Alley, Hogmeade, and Hogwarts have all been remodeled to include electricity. Though surprisingly the majority of Diagon Alley was already wired with electricity. We integrated the use of computers in the Ministry, as well a phone network. It was I who left voicemail after voicemail at your company. I was the one who sent a letter a day for three years. I pushed Kingsley in to filing the complaint with the I.C.W. I am so impressed with what your company has done, I was willing to piss you off enough to talk to you. My beautiful wife, speaks highly of you. I know I didn't know you personally while at Hogwarts, I can assure you there wasn't a single person that attended at the same time as you who didn't know how absolutely brilliant you truly are."

I smile, "Thank you, Adrian for your kind words."

Theo speaks up and says, "So Granger, when can The Daily Prophet expect to have an interview with you about your company?"

I look at Luna, and say, "I've already promised Luna the first interview."

Luna smiles, "If it's ok with you Theo we can interview her at the same time. My readers don't always read The Daily Prophet."

Then Theo says, "So Potter are you going to show us this new gadget you were gifted."

Harry smiles and says. "Follow me." All of the men follow him, and the women stayed to finish their desserts. Obviously the women have their priorities sorted.

We chat for a few minutes about their children and lives. Pansy owns a magical art gallery in Diagon Alley. She explains how she loves all art and sells both antique and new art. We continue the discussion on art, until I hear it….

"GO NOW GO, WALK OUT THE DOOR, JUST TURN AROUND NOW, BECAUSE YOUR NOT WELCOME ANYMORE"

I get up and run into the family room and see myself on the Pensivision, looking rather fit, if I do say so myself, dancing on the bed singing. I look for Theo, and scream, "THEODORE THOROS NOTT I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!!!"

I feel large arms wrap around me and we disapparate to a field. I turn around, and find Draco Malfoy laughing his fucking ass off. UGH! MEN!