Dearest Flynn,

I haven't gotten sleep in what feels like days. Toxins nearly consumed us when rescuing the general. I went on a journey with Yugiri. I hadn't seen her in a long time, or … it felt like a long time. Alphinaud swears that Lady Ice Heart, the mage I met on my first night in Ishgard, will be the key to ending a war between both Isghard and the dragons, fearing if we don't, both will be wiped off the face of Eorzea. Everyone fears a dragon attack is imminent.

Estinien joined our ranks, possessing a dragon's eye. Tataru stayed behind, trying to fish for more information. We met with Aymeric again, who I continue to humiliate myself over. We asked him to keep his military at bay so our mission runs smoothly. I didn't share much details, none of us did, but I was shaking.

I was tasked with killing polar bears too. When will it all end? We defeated heretics in the amphitheater, but I hardly recall much of that. I suffered exhaustion shortly after.

We enlisted Lady Iceheart, though she and Estinien can't stop arguing. Perhaps from built up sexual tension. Hells if I know. She got us to meet dragons. Tons in a lair! It was incredible. We then defeated Nidhogg's consort and their bickering continues. I'm tired.

I made it to the Churning Mists, but came back to Ishgard to get a six hours of rest before continuing on. Estinien accompanied me as Alphinaud was not interested in abandoning the thought of chasing moogles. I worry for him.

I hope all is well in the Adders.

Forever wrapped up in shenanigans,

Z'val

I threw my head over the chair at my desk, wrist cramping from writing. There was no end to the madness. At least I could drink. Maybe a little.

I looked over my shoulder to see Estinien standing in the corner near my bed, blending in with the shadows. Why he insisted on watching over me was unsettling.

"You can leave, you know." I muttered, folding the letter into an envelope and licking it shut. "There's nothing for you to do here."

"Lord Aymeric requested I keep you safe." He simply stated, and I rolled my eyes.

Of all the shadows in the world, I did not want that one.

"Fine. Follow me then. Do you drink?" I stood up, throwing on my cloak that Tataru generously patched up as it took a beating during our battles.

"On occasion."

Gods be damned, Estinien was a champion for conversation. Mention Nidhogg and he could tell a story, but anything else? It was futile. I wish he'd open just a fraction.

I opened the door, walking outside to catch some air with my irksome shadow. It was cold, but becoming manageable, or perhaps I was adapting.

"The Forgotten Knight is this way." He took the lead and I already knew where it was. I drank there before, but maybe he was trying to be helpful. Or thought I was that stupid.

We walked in silence until reaching our destination and I watched his winged lance bounce up and down as he moved. Pushing open the door, I walked down the too familiar stairs.

"I wish Ysayle were here. I wanted to bond with her. She's so…" I trailed off as I took a seat at the bar, pointing to a pint of something. It was blue and bubbling with whipped purple foam.

"Impossible to talk with? Yes. I concur." He said sternly, eyeing my wandering finger. "You don't want that."

I laughed loud enough to catch a look from the bartender as he readied my beverage. Impossible to talk with. The irony was strong with him.

"You're one to talk. Why don't I want that one?" I queried, accepting the drink that sat before me, licking my lips eyeing the dancing foam.

Estinien took it from me, pushing it to the opposite side. "It's potent enough to cause hallucinations. Some have been known to be hospitalized." His gaze turned to the bartender. "Excuse me, please give that one to the lady instead."

"Whatever you ask of me, Azure Dragoon." He replied, readying me another foamy drink.

My eyes followed the foam as it waded side to side. Without a second thought, I touched it to my lips, not taking a breath as I swallowed every last drop of it. Quite good at swallowing, darling. A trait that could bring the most powerful of men to their knees. I shuddered, pushing Flynn's voice out of my head.

Slamming my pint back down on the table, I welcomed the warm caress of liquid as it infiltrated my throat, both soothing and stinging.

Whatever Estinien ordered me was lightly sweet and creamy, leaving a faint aftertaste of bitter alcohol. I looked to see his mouth agape. An expression I knew too well whenever I drank. A small Miqo'te downing a pint like a broad-chested warrior was unusual.

"I could undress you with my eyes, dragoon." I covered my mouth and belched behind closed lips. Everything began to blend into one blurred masterpiece - details becoming impossible to make out. Whatever he ordered me was potent. And after one, I was bound to get flirtatious.

"I know not whether that is sarcasm or your inability to hold your liquor." He sounded both serious and disgusting. It would seem I repulsed him.

I had to be falling into delusion. Oh gods. If I was on the brink of flirting with Estinien, I needed help, which fuck me I guess given I wouldn't know where to look.

Estinien sighed, and I could hear him tapping his fingers against the counter. "No more for this one, mind you, no matter how she intends to beg."

"And how would I intend to beg?" I mused, throwing coins hopefully at the bartender and turned my head hearing an irresistible harp melody. It was captivating and I closed my eyes, entranced as he sang of betrayal caused by a lover.

"All it took was one failure, one mistake
For her to leave me left alone.
My friends turned into enemies
As they kicked me out of my home.
My wife laid with another man
Maybe two or three.
It hurts when realization seeps in
Knowing no one could love me."

Whatever ounce of happiness I had vanished in the blink of an eye. I'm sure Estinien answered whatever I previously asked, but the bard's voice was so commanding as he sang, I couldn't focus on anything else. The dragoon's reply was probably condescending anyway.

I turned to face the direction Estinien had been sitting prior, wondering how he saw out of his helm. I bent my head so I was looking straight up the opening above his nose, often covered by armored material. Blurred blue eyes met mine. I managed to see a hint of white hair?

"You do have eyes. And here I thought you were a machine with impeccable coding." I chuckled, going to order another drink, but was met with a shiny black gauntlet covering my mouth. A rather painful gauntlet, as it grazed under my chin with one of the spikes.

"If this is how you are to behave after only one drink, you are no longer permitted to drink." He removed his arm and sounded like an irate commander, leaving me to sink back in my chair, watching all the shiny lights slow dance around me.

My fingers were tingling, numbing as I touched my thumb to each one. Another drink, and I'd black out. I had a few stages: flirtatious, numb, roaring giggles, challenging randoms to fight me, and the final stage was blacking out. Sometimes steps 3 and 4 were skipped.

"You say that, yet you manage to scrape me when you're meant to protect me. Let's pray this doesn't get out to your beloved Aymeric." I'm sure I wore a cocky smile, throwing my right arm on the counter to keep balanced since gravity was failing me. Or I was failing gravity.

He said nothing as he lifted my head up, letting out a 'hm' sound, and then tilted my head back down. "Aye, that I did. My apologies." After emitting a deep sigh, he continued. "You are to address our lord commander properly."

"Ser Aymeric. Lord Commander of the overly involved Ishgardian knights. With beautiful hair and eyes so masterfully crafted, he could steal the hearts of all before him." I giggled like a lunatic.I would pass out before the hour.

Estinien's helm was tilted at such an angle, I hardly made out concerned eyes with a raised brow, white strands of hair danced down the far left side of his cheek.

"You are truly…" He started, and I anticipated the insult, but we were interrupted by a fight breaking out in the bar between two men.

"You stole my coin, you thief! I demand you give it back!" One angrily shouted and I took it upon myself to make it rain coin while Estinien was occupied solving their quarrel.

"A-Azure dragoon!" I heard one say and then heard the bard singing songs to encourage the violence.

Whatever. I was not about that life so crouched down to take my leave, barely dodging something loud that flew at the door as I made my way out.

I was lost. My tail stood on end, refusing to go down which was a side effect of my drinking. Ishgard was…on its side, moving like clouds drifting in the sky.

I fell a couple times, but managed to make my way into Aymeric's office area where I first met him. Lucia stood near a large map to the side of the desk, but she was all I could see.

She caught me the second I staggered, carefully setting me against the desk.

"Lady Z'valiyah! Estinien, he was meant to watch over you. Lord Aymeric will not be pleased." Her voice was between a growl and concern as she steadied me.

"Ish not hish fault. Did ya know hish eyesh are sho…" I stopped to allow a hiccup. "Pretty? I had to leave, otherwishe…I could have done a regrettable thing." Right. I also turned any S into a Sh when I was borderline drunk. Another humiliating habit.

"Pray may I ask…how much did you drink?" Lucia asked as she looked over her shoulder to eye me, her thumbnail scraping against her top teeth.

"One Pint!" I cackled, slamming both palms on the desk sending a few papers to scatter in the air. I marched over to Lucia, face only an inch from hers to see she too had beautiful blue eyes that she widened. "Sho…beautiful."

"You are…a bit close for my liking." She kindly said, taking a large step backwards. "Also, I shall make note that one pint is your limit. May I ask…why did you come back?" She began to trace her finger against something red on the board.

I sighed and went to sit on the edge of the desk. Ill-mannered to my last breath. "Needed a break. Did not think the dragoon would follow. With him watching me, I am bound to have a nightmare." I feel I calmly spoke, careful to avoid using an S.

"I suppose we have had you going nonstop for the past weeks. Have you had a proper tour of Ishgard?"

I nodded, but she didn't see given her focus was elsewhere. "Yeah." A lie. I never got a full tour, but I was shown pieces at a time. Thankfully there were ways to get around where I didn't need to know anything.

"Good. I imagine you wouldn't recall anything drunk anyways. Stay here until you feel better." She nicely offered, making the map more red.

"So this is where you've gone to." Estinien's voice echoed through the chamber, prompting me to fall off the desk, stroking the floor while my mind went blank. I rolled on my back, looking up to see a wild dragoon.

"Estinien, you were meant to watch her." Lucia had a bite to her tone. "Now look at her!"

"This one is truly elusive. Afraid none of us are capable of keeping her in our sights for long." He curtly stated, looking down at me as my ears moved in all directions. "An elusive disaster."

"Oopsh. You found me! Now you have to catch me!" I giggled, knowing what I said, but my body didn't move.

He grabbed me by the wrist and helped me to my feet, checking my pulse and uttering another sigh. "And this is all we have to rely on for a better tomorrow. Did you take it upon yourself to have another?"

"Estinien, leave her be. When she passes out, you're welcome to take her back to House Fortemps. She isn't harming anyone." Lucia ordered, and he stood still.

He shook his head. "And what if Aymeric were to see…this?"

"We are to learn all we can of the Warrior of Light. I didn't imagine she would be so…"

"Moogle shit crazy?"

I laughed loudly hearing those words come from Estinien. Maybe Aymeric's knights weren't half bad. I misjudged the dragoon. His sense of humor was dry, but I enjoyed it.

I stared up at the ceiling and then at the desk, eyeing Aymeric's perfect signature that he put on papers. Well, a perfect blur.

Moments later, a new set of footsteps emerged from a door and my chest dipped seeing the man of the hour. Don't say something stupid. Don't say anything at all.

"Ah, if it isn't our Warrior of Light." Aymeric's fine voice said, stopping about a foot in front of me.

Estinien snorted while Lucia coughed. How lucky I was to be in their watch.

I touched the golden pauldrons and felt myself wide-eyed. They felt so cold and intricately crafted. I touched the other one too and it was the same, my idiot brain being amazed. I went for the metallic dragon around his neck, but Estinien snagged my wrist.

"That is quite enough out of you." He sharply said, throwing my arm to my side.

"But…" I murmured, looking back at the pauldrons, but the blurgoon turned my head too so that I was eyeing him instead. My heart began to flutter as he stayed fixated on me. I couldn't even fight his grasp. He was too powerful. And not only that. He was also Estinien. No thank you.

"Estinien, release our honorable guest." Aymeric ordered, and that strong hand released me as the blurgoon uttered a quick growl.

"Your attractive Elezen commander would be right, you predator. If I like shiny, I touch it. " As I spoke, Estinien's head was buried deep into his hands as he slowly moved them downwards. He shook his head and then turned to face Aymeric.

I too turned to face the commander who met my gaze. I'm pretty sure he was smiling or I hoped he was. I don't even remember saying anything.

"Did you by chance take her to the Forgotten Knight?" He mused, looking at his friend.

"Aye, I did. She was already losing it after one drink. I went to stop a fight and she managed to sneak out. Forgive me, my friend."

"At least she came here of all places and not the Brume." Lucia calmly threw in her two Gil.

I remained focused on Aymeric's eyes. Likely the only time I could without being stupid about it. How I wanted to rip off his armor and lick his body.

I needed sleep. Lots of sleep.

I attempted to cast Esuna, but my staff was not with me, meaning it'd be a weak cast. Yet I damn well tried, only to be met with a small sizzle noise and nothing else. "Damn."

"I feel our friend would have an insufferable time had she gone there. I'm quite capable of locating people, so she would not have gotten far." Estinien sternly chimed in, and I felt his disappointed stare. "What is she doing?"

"Making a failed attempt at a spell. Ladies and gentlemen, our hero is here." Lucia was sarcastic?

How I yearned to summon Haurchefant and have him watch over me instead. I wasn't attracted to any part of him, so I was less likely to be…stage one.

"Lady Z'valiyah, answer me this. What do you see?" He asked, and I wasn't sure what to do with his question since nothing was happening.

I glanced at Aymeric, then Lucia. "I-I see…" The S thing faded, thank the twelve.

"Make out the details."

"Lucia has pretty blue eyes. Aymeric has pretty blue eyes and is looking at me worried like I could do something stupid? Lucia is stone-faced. You suck."

I faced the dragoon, baring my teeth at him and swore he smirked. Things were getting less hazy and I could make out finer details. Most of them.

"Stone-faced…" I heard Lucia meekly mutter under her breath, but ignored it.

"When are we leaving?" I questioned, keeping my angry gaze on him.

"As soon as you recover, princess."

Princess?! I had half a mind to slap that smirk off his face. Hells, I tried, but he simply batted my arm away.

"Get Haurchefant. I'd prefer he watch me. Not this dragoon." I pleaded as I faced Aymeric again whose lips twitched with amusement as he rested his right hand on his hip while the other loosely sat on his side.

Lucia left and I wasn't sure where, feeling partially guilty for my comment and Aymeric finally got a word in.

"I apologize on behalf of Estinien. Though, this has turned out to be quite entertaining."

"Don't you have a job to do? Maybe go do that." I glowered, feeling my hands form into fists. Unbelievable. I felt no more than a show to these people.

He lightly chuckled, folding his arms as he tilted his head. "There is a lot of paperwork that needs my attention, but I can spare a few minutes for the person adamant on putting an end to the war my people have bravely fought for the past many years."

"Oh." Was all I could say. My head throbbed, a blazing fire roaring through it. Ishgardian ale was more potent than Gridanian.

I rubbed the right side of my head, wincing as I gripped the desk to keep me up.

"Lady Z'valiyah, are you all right?" Aymeric asked with concern, putting a hand on one of my shoulders. I looked to see his gloves and knew it was not irksome Estinien.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. It seems I got a headache."

"Estinien, take her to the guest room. Get me when she awakes."

"Sure." He sighed, upset he had to watch me again. "Let's go." He threw me into his arms, marching outside and up some stairs. I heard the clicking of a large door opening as everything faded to black.

I woke up on a bed as soft as a cloud, my headache hardly present. I couldn't recall what happened prior to getting here. I looked across from the bed to another, seeing Estinien sitting on it, hunched over with his arms resting on his legs, hands falling between them.

"You're awake."

"How astute. Your stature is well deserved." I whimsically declared and he groaned, getting up to leave out the door.

My coat had been removed, and I shuddered at the implications. Did I…no.

Estinien returned with Aymeric, and I quickly dipped under the sheets, gripping the top like letting go meant death. An overpowering scent of pine flowed through my nose, triggering a sneeze.

"Mistress Z'valiyah!" Aymeric announced like I was being presented before a group of people, but all that was there was himself and his dragon eye-possessing bodyguard.

"Lord Aymeric!" I mirrored his tone as I stayed in my happy place and heard a chuckle. "Please, Z'valiyah. No formalities."

"Very well. Z'valiyah, are you feeling well rested?" He asked, and I poked my head out of the sheets to see a softer, more serious side of him.

My heart sang his praises when he dropped the title. "Y-yeah. How long was I out for?"

Aymeric glanced at Estinien who nodded and then looked back at me. "Three hours."

"Better than the one I'm used to." I said woefully, getting to my feet. "Also…" I growled, marching up to Estinien and smacking his chest. "Where's my coat, you pervert?"

"You accuse me of acts of impurity? Lucia sent a maid to undress you." His startled tone prompted me to bite my lower lip in the hopes of preventing laughter.

I looked at my attire to see I was no longer in any of my beloved armor, but white slippers and a night gown. Shit. I ducked back down under the sheets. "Where…"

"I shall fetch them." Estinien replied before I could finish my question.

Now I was alone with Aymeric. Was this the first time? All I could hear was the pounding of my heart as fear seized me.

"You can speak freely to me, Z'valiyah."

I punched my chest, hoping to silence it. My eyes connected with his and I was sure I'd say something stupid now, hoping I didn't say anything a few hours prior.

"D-d-did I say anything stupid before this happened?" I quivered as I spoke, not wanting to know the answer. My ears dipped while my tail thrashed about, chest tightening with no end.

"Not in the slightest. You did try to take a swing at Estinien."

I sat up, folding my arms while confidently stating, "I could take him."

"I'm sure you could."

"You don't really believe that."

"You have eradicated enemies believed to be undefeatable, sober I presume. I daresay Estinien holds no more than a fraction of their power."

He didn't appear to be lying, but given his stature, he was probably a professional at masking his emotions. He sat on the bed that Estinien was on earlier, sitting in the same pose.

"In case you forgot, I'm a subpar white mage. Look at these arms. Do you think I could honestly take Estinien? That man is likely shredded under that armor of his." I waved my half bare arm in front of him, frowning that it was basically a noodle.

"He is, but I do believe with your power of light-"

I cut him off, my interest piqued from his comment regarding Estinien.

"I have the power of friendship on my side. That's the only reason I've come so far. Remember that. Also, what?!" I yelped, curious if they often showered together or engaged in other activities.

The commander yet again chuckled, shaking his head in one hand. "I am certain it is not whatever it is you are assuming." He eyed me again, the smile staying as he asked, "Pray tell me more about yourself, Z'valiyah. Given our last meeting felt short lived."

"Now it's just creepy when you call me that." He looked like a wounded deer as he wore a half-frown.

"Where to begin? In my orphan days, I made friends with a Miqo'te and we still see each other often. A year younger than me, but taught me how to live. Growing up homeless wasn't easy, but…we managed. When we were old enough, we spent most of our time in the Golden Saucer. Triple Triad was the only thing that made me feel empowered. I'd show you my deck, but Estinien is TAKING HIS SWEET TIME!" I screamed at the door, which seemed to summon him.

I really was powerful.

"Talking about me?" He mumbled as he dropped the pile of clothes onto my torso. "It seems they cleaned and stitched them up."

"Tataru already did that."

"Lady Tataru stitched your cloak. Our seamstresses did the rest." He curtly retorted.

"Well…thank you." I saw my deck elegantly folded into my coat, and pulled my stash out of the container, thumbing over every card until I found the right one and flashed it at Aymeric. "You!"

He took it from my hands, eyeing it as his shoulders gradually sank. "To think they gave me a one."

"They gave you two nines! I used to use your card all the time when playing." I felt my cheeks turn warm as I divulged that fact. I was always careful to place him in the upper left corner unless it was occupied. Then I prayed.

"We shall leave soon. Back to the Churning Mists where I am eager to put an end to our enemies." Estinien's words drew my gaze towards him.

"...the Moogles? Such dangerous creatures traipsing on your land murdering all your people." Oh, how I loved sarcasm and the flustered grunt I got from him when using it.

Aymeric was still mulling over the card, raising a brow. "Estinien, your honest opinion?" He flipped it around and his friend snatched it, tilting it like it moved.

"Are you wanting me to fetch you one?" Estinien asked, handing the card back to me before folding his arms. "Where to get one, I am uncertain. I know not what any of this card means."

"I think he wanted you to rate his picture on a scale of one to ten." I shrugged, and then hid behind the changing station and got into my sad excuse for armor. Compared to those in my company, I felt naked.

"Oh. A…an… eight?" The dragoon sounded so… strange as he questioned his own words.

I began to relish being in their company. Enjoyed it, actually.

"I give him a ten." I heard Estinien's lance scrape against the doorway and turned to see them both looking at me in wonder.

Panic ensued, realizing I must have said that out loud. I covered my mouth, humiliated as I ran for the door, but the dragoon blocked me with one arm.

"Please?" I cried out, but it was useless. He didn't budge and Aymeric sat perplexed on the bed. "I-I meant to say one, you…you…you Elezen."

Nailed it.

Estinien turned me around so I was forced to take in the room. I flung myself onto the bed, burying my head in the pillow. They had to go some time.

Estinien muttered, "One cannot take back the words they have already said."

"Did they teach you to talk like that in knight school?" I growled and then turned to Aymeric. "Let me go. Lord Aymeric, please tell your dragoon to grant me passage."

Aymeric merely blinked a few times, stoic features shrouding him as he looked up to his friend.

"If Z'valiyah wishes to leave us, then we can at the very least grant her that request."

Great. Now he makes it sound like I'm abandoning suffering animals.

"Unfortunately, I'm still stuck with him. Let's go back to the Churning Mists, Esti. You can berate me all you want. I should have you know, in my past, berating was a kink of mine." I seemed to erase my filter at that moment, and turned to see Aymeric, puzzled as he covered his mouth with one open hand.

"We have learned a great deal about our warrior today. May our enemies not berate you in our time of need." The commander said and I prayed he was joking.

A boisterous laugh left me. "Yes. If a dragon talked down to me, I would let him have his way with me. I am not infatuated with dragons."

"You've eyed my helm a great deal. The horns of a dragon are embedded in it. How are we not to know that excites you? Even the silver dragon that accompanies Aymeric's neck has stolen a glance from you a number of times." Estinien chimed in and I didn't know if I was on the brink of delusion or a panic attack.

"I-I'm not…WHAT?! You Elezen are cruel!" I shot back, feeling pained as they mocked me.

"Does that…" Estinien started, and I hit him as hard as I could on his chest, which only seemed to crack my knuckles and leave them throbbing. "Perhaps that does it too."

"Screw the both of you! Actually, no. Don't comment on that. I'm out. I will not say more about myself if this is what I have to look forward to." I growled, ducking under Estinien's arm so I could leave.

"My apologies, Z'valiyah. That was…not noble of me." Aymeric apologized, also following after me and placed both hands on my shoulders as his gaze met mine. His damn hexing eyes melted my heart.

"Yes, well…" I let out a sigh before gathering my thoughts. "I enjoyed your company, Ser Aymeric, and regret that I have to make my journey back with Estinien. Not like it's too far, but with the information he knows now…"

I heard what I believed to be a second of chuckle come from the dragoon.

"When you are done with your mission in the Churning Mists, allow us to host you once more." The commander smiled, and I felt myself doing the same.

"H-here." I rummaged through my pack and pulled out my prized card. Unbeknownst to them, I possess several. Safe to say Yayake hates me. "Take it. If you ever play, you can narcissistically use yourself. I have more, so it's not a big deal."

"You have my thanks. Estinien, I have asked that an airship take you. I wish you well in your travels and look forward to the results. It brings me sorrow that I cannot go, but I must prepare my soldiers for a likely war."

His eyes swiveled back on me. "Z'valiyah, you are not a subpar mage. You are an extraordinary one. Otherwise, your friends would not be in one piece, and neither would you."

My throat tightened as he spoke, as no one ever praised me. Sure, Alphinaud did the second we won, but he never went out of his way to do it. Estinien's only praises sounded like the opposite since he took a 180 afterwards. Flynn meant it, but then he'd play it off with a joke, making light of it. Aymeric? He seemed honest and it was different.

"Th-thank you, Ser Aymeric. I look forward to giving my report." I grinned and then shifted my gaze to Estinien, frowning. "Alright, dark and broody, let's go."

"I do not brood." He scowled, and I whacked his shoulder, bowing to Aymeric before leaving for the ship.

"If it isn't my friend!" Haurchefant yelled, rallying to my side as I was shot with his overwhelmingly joyful features.

I hugged him, planting my head into his chainmail and heard a wonderful laugh, the vibrations from his diaphragm tickling the side of my head.

"Please return my friendship." I insisted, and he did just that, scratching the part of my ears Alphinaud regretfully told him about. I was going to kill that kid.

The purr roared in my neck and if Estinien was watching…I pray he wasn't watching.

"Where are you headed?" He asked as I looked up at him, ears twitching with excitement.

"The Churning Mists. Something about Moogles and dragons. This one here thinks Moogles are a powerful enemy that we shouldn't approach lightly."

"I said no such thing!" He snapped back and I released my friend before turning to face the dragoon.

"I'm joking. That's how I express affection, you tall…tall…dragoon."

Wow. I failed hard.

"Well, safe journeys, my friend. May the light guide you to glory." Haurchefant patted me on the head, and it felt almost comforting.

"You be safe too, Haurchefant. May the light watch over you as well." I turned to face my travel companion and attempted to hug him, but he kept me an arms length away shaking his head.

Estinien led me onto the airship and the pilot took off as we made our way to our destination.

I threw my arms over the edge, peering into the clouds that didn't dare to move. Estinien stood beside me and propped one foot against the side of the ship, looking down at me.

"I took it upon myself to search for information regarding you, Warrior of Light. What I found was simply astounding. Information I am certain not even your fellow Scions know about you."

His tone was nearly threatening. Curious what he could have on me, I stopped peering and stood before him, ears moving outward as I looked upon his helm.

"And what did you find?"

"Does the name Cecilia Rose ring a bell?"

I felt my eyes widen as my chest lurched backward. I hadn't heard that name in years. There was a reason I repressed it. Why I never told a soul.

"I take it by the twitch of your ears, it does. Cecilia Rose and Arthur Thorne were performers wanted by the wealthy for gatherings. I had only been granted the privilege hearing Cecilia sing once in my voyages, but I vividly recall her eyes. No one knew where they lived nor who they were, only able to buy their services from a wandering merchant."

"Estinien, please stop." I weakly muttered, not wanting to hear the truth. Everything I ran away from. Everything I drank to forget.

"Citizens expressed the duo were flirtatious in nature. Often dabbling in activities behind closed curtains, entertaining knights among others. Curious was I, as to why your eyes were familiar, and I now know the truth. There is no mistaking that green hue in your eyes. You are Cecilia Rose."

"Enough! I-it was taxing…soul crushing. I did not dabble behind closed curtains engaging in activities, but please. Regurgitate false facts from the mouths of nobodies." My eyes hurt from the tears I kept in, recalling every vivid detail from that horrid year. "W-we didn't…?"

"Pleased to say we did not. Certainly I'd have recalled you sooner."

"That is not something I want getting out. The only one who knows is Flynn…"

"Ah, yes. Arthur Thorne I'd imagine."

My heart froze. Estinien knew too much. The ledge was right there…

I shook my head. I was not going to resort to murder. I wasn't that person. I never wanted to be.

He finally looked away, peeling himself from the edge as he cracked his neck side to side.

It was the one and only time I slept with Flynn, but all we had was each other, wanting to find solace in the arms of anything but a stranger. He vowed to keep his lips shut and that was the end of it.

I wasn't a prostitute, but an entertainer. I sang while Flynn played and we brought tears to nobles. Many things transpired one night between me and a knight who refused to take no for an answer, prompting me to force myself into a drinking habit, a cycle never severed. The only positive in the situation was seeing Flynn seething with rage, and after that day, the knight was never seen again.

"The bulk of my money isn't from playing cards or gambling. It's from performing for royals. Royals who lied behind their teeth to us and treated us no different from the rugs they wiped their dirtied boots on. They'd order us to sing. To dance. To grovel. It came to an end when Flynn learned how to properly invoke emotion, causing them to feel overpowering trauma they could never forget. One of them met a tragic end by their own hand." I wiped loose tears, praying to find a powerful enough mage to wipe my memory.

That one year felt like twelve. My tail hit my arm and I noticed that Estinien put a firm hand on my shoulder as he stood beside me. Shame sank in as my eyes were level with the dragoon's chest.

"This lives and dies with you." I threatened, awaiting his reply with a weakened, tattered smile.

"Your request is my command. Must you jeopardize Isghard, however, I am inclined to change my mind. I hope you share this information with Aymeric, but the choice is yours, assuming he doesn't figure it out himself."

I felt two pats on my shoulder before he moved his hand away, walking to the opposite side of the ship and looked down over his shoulder into the abyss. "Calm are the clouds today, an unusual sight."

"Estinien." He looked as I called his name. "Thank you."

He may have provoked my emotions, but I expressed a part of my past I hated most and he listened.

"Aye. May your future show better promise. We both succumbed to a life of sorrows young. My lance is yours, and it will be that way until we reach our objective, Lady Z'valiyah."

"Please. Just Z'valiyah." I smiled and he nodded, looking back at the mass of clouds.

Whatever awaited us, I was becoming more accustomed to Ishgardians and a part of me found solace in their company. Although my rest was brief, I felt I had the energy to fight back whatever came our way. Nothing I faced was ever easy. The one thing I waited for was seeing Alphinaud's boyish grin as he greeted me, and nothing more.