The chastisement from Ironhide afterwards was totally worth it. She had got to feel freedom even for a brief window in time. It made her feel whole. She felt like she was back where she should be, the grumps all but vanished.
It started a new pattern for her. She spent the mornings dutifully by Ironhide's side, watching as he attempted to train the twins how to aim. Then she spent the afternoon in Jolt's cabin, just driving around the island. The island wasn't very big but it was big enough where they could escape for a bit.
She even got opportunities to dolphin swim her hand out the window which was nice. She missed driving something desperately. It scratched the itch to be with Jolt and driving around but it wasn't quite the same. She wanted more. She wanted to be able to feel the purr of the engine beneath her toes and the heady sensation of slamming on the gas.
She never thought driving would be what she missed most about having working legs but apparently, it was. Walking was something she always missed in her apartment alone but it was more for the convenience. Her apartment was set up well for her with a chair which didn't help the whole needing legs thing.
The days started passing her by and she focused only on the day to day. Taking care of her most immediate needs.
She found herself actually growing to like Ironhide. For all his grumpiness, he had a wicked sense of humor. It was normally directed at someone but she appreciated it all the same.
"Tweedle dee and tweedle dumbass!" he yelled out at the twins, much to her amusement.
"Aim at the fucking targets, not each other!" Ironhide looked pissed to say the least. When they aimed at each other, the shots went squirrelly. One came just a little too close to comfort for him to where they were and he entered angry mode™ .
He took guardian duties pretty seriously though he complained about her apparent constant state of anxiety. Not like she was even fucking aware of it. Far as she knew, she was just fine and peachy. Living on a military base because they held her prisoner. Yeah, no worries there.
"Why do you even give them guns, Hoss?" she asked, peering up at the grumpy looking Autobot.
"Cuz they got to be able to defend themselves. Can't always have others looking out for them," he said gruffly.
He sighed before setting down next to her.
"Fish bait, you really should learn how to shoot a gun," he said tiredly. She laughed. Of course she did. That was a ridiculous idea.
"What like a bazooka so I can shoot myself out of the way?" she said with a chuckle.
"No. Like a handgun. It's not just Cybertronians you need to protect yourself from," he said firmly, turning his bright blue gaze down onto her. Fucking. Ominous.
"You think humans are going to hurt me?" she asked shrilly.
"They might. I don't know. I want you ready," he said with a rough shrug. Great. So she had more things to worry about. She ignored the glare he sent her for her increasing heart rate and thought.
The military didn't like her. The suit certainly didn't like her. The doctor didn't like her. That was it. All the humans she interacted with. And none of them liked her. Lovely. Fantastic. Wonderful.
"Yeah ok I guess I can learn," she squeaked out. She was nervous. The whole idea seemed ridiculous but at least it would give her something to do.
Training with Ironhide was actually really fucking fun. He made the targets the most ridiculous images by using some kind of fancy ass holo projector and boy did she have fun. It was a lot easier to shoot a giant fucking needle shaped target than she thought it would be.
"Die villainous scum!" she yelled before landing another shot into the image of a shark. Why a shark she had no idea but it delighted Ironhide greatly.
"It's a gun, not a sword," Ironhide said with amusement. Always with the amusement at her.
It helped break up the steady monotony her life was gaining. She was getting restless. The last time she got restless, she saved up her money, drove as far as she could and ended up in a city where she got into an accident.
She wasn't sure it was possible to repeat the past anyway. Seeing as she was stuck on an island and couldn't even communicate with the outside world.
Which reminded her. She needed to track down the suit and ask about her dad. She had no idea what the fuck happened there and wanted to know.
Ironhide seemed to sense her energy and kept plying her with new guns to try. Not like she really understood the difference between them. They were all just guns to her.
Jolt also was aware of her more restless energy if the incessant bothering for rides meant anything.
"I fucking hate sand in my tires," he whined, driving slowly along the water's edge.
"I didn't ask you to drive on the sand, ya know," she said lazily, staring out at the water.
"You're bored. I'm entertaining you," he said stubbornly.
That really was the crux of it. She was bored. There was no action. Nothing to do other than learn how to shoot and drive around with Jolt. She didn't really talk to anyone. They just did the things with her.
"What was Cybertron like?" she asked suddenly. She could use the conversation.
"What do you mean?" Jolt asked, slowing even further so the wind didn't blow as harshly.
"Like what was your planet like?" she asked, leaning into the steering wheel a bit.
"It was metallic," Jolt said flatly.
"There's gotta be more than that," she said with a pout. She wanted a conversation dammit.
"What was your dad like?" Jolt asked, a little snippy in his tone.
She startled, leaning back into her chair. Ok. He had a point.
"I get it," she said softly before looking out over the water. They stayed in silence for a bit before Jolt sighed, slowing to a stop.
"There were artists. They created giant sculptures that were nothing like they have here on Earth. They would combine the images of Cybertronians and glyphs. They were stunning to see. They were the first thing to fall," he said softly. He rolled forward and back a bit.
"I'm sorry." She felt bad. She shouldn't have asked about something so personal.
"It's not your fault and you shouldn't be sorry. I didn't mean to react so harshly," he said with remorse.
It was quiet for a little longer before she thought, fuck it.
"My dad and I don't really get along. He doesn't like that I want to exist outside of a job. He doesn't understand it," she said, trying to tit for tat it.
"Do you miss him?" Jolt asked quietly. Much to her sheer mortification, she felt the bubbling tears hit her. She definitely did NOT want to cry. Especially in front of her cool car friend.
"A little," she said with a sniffle. Damn.
"Maybe we could set up a contact with him?" Jolt said hesitantly. She wanted it but didn't. How did she explain to her dad oh yeah she was fine, just a military pet on a base in the middle of a fucking ocean? Yeah. Not gonna happen.
"It's probably best if I don't. I don't know what they told him," she said softly.
He sighed, loud and long through the radio.
"That's fair. I wish it was different," Jolt said, voice low and static like.
"Same dude," she said, head hitting the back of her chair.
There was a part of her that acknowledged that if she had never gotten into this mess, she would never have met Jolt. And sad to say, he was quickly becoming the best friend she'd ever had. She wasn't very good with friends. They always wanted stuff that she wasn't willing to give.
"Do you know what happened to my car?" she asked suddenly, leaning into his steering wheel.
"Probably junked. I mean didn't they have to pry you out of there?" he asked, steering them away from the sand and back towards pavement.
"Yeah. Damn. I loved that car," she said softly, leaning forward on his steering wheel. It was really just for show anyway but he still turned it with his body. Made it seem more real he had said. She could tell he froze it when she was leaning on it. It was comforting, like leaning on a friend or some shit.
"What kind of car was it?" he asked, curious.
"A Chevy Volt," she said wistfully. It was the perfect little car for her.
She didn't expect the next day to come out and see a bright blue Chevy Volt sitting where Jolt was normally parked.
"What the fuck?!" She was blown away.
"I grabbed the schematics. Figured it would be more fun for you." Again, the waterworks started without her consent.
"Damn dude. This is awesome," she said, running her hand along the side of the car, definitely not crying. She wasn't she was just leaking.
Jolt unfolded just enough to scoop her up and then she was in a Chevy Volt once again. It was a little different from her old car. Significantly more high tech, that was for sure. But it felt the same. What she wasn't expecting was the little handles by her right hand.
"What are these?" she asked, poking at them.
"I may have upgraded so you could learn to drive again," he said sheepishly.
This time she didn't try to deny it. She was full on sobbing into his steering wheel.
"That's the fucking nicest thing anyone's ever fucking done for me you fucker," she wailed, rubbing at her eyes and clutching the steering wheel close.
And so she was given a new task: relearn how to drive.
It was very slow going. Using her hands to accelerate and brake just wasn't natural. It took a while for her to even figure out how to move at all.
Ironhide was less impressed with her new obsession.
"I know you want to drive and all but damn, fish bait. You're too distracted. Aim better," he grumbled as she missed once again. Her mind was a million miles away.
"Alright that's it," he said, taking the gun straight from her hand with some kind of magnet or some shit and plopping down next to her.
"You're too unfocused to handle firepower," he said with a frustrated grunt.
"I can drive again," she said softly, as if that would answer everything.
"I know. But you gotta learn to take care of yourself. There's a reason I'm going through all this trouble, kid," he said, much softer. He was staring her down with those bright blue eyes and she couldn't help feeling guilty.
"Sorry, Hoss," she said quietly.
"Why is learning to drive again so damn important?" Ironhide asked, bumping up against her wheelchair.
"It's freedom. It's me getting to take some control back. I've lost so much," she choked. She definitely didn't want to cry in front of the big bad gun man. What was with her and crying? Had she hit her max capacity for emotions or some shit?
"Is it about being on base or the chair?" he asked thoughtfully.
"Both," she squeaked out, trying to take steadying breaths.
"Ya know, Optimus is fighting for more things for you to do on base. He's trying to get Bee and his kid to show up to give you another human to talk to," Ironhide said slowly.
That surprised her. She'd barely seen much of Optimus as of late. He was a busy dude.
"Huh," she said, the urge to cry slowly dissipating.
"You're ours. Gotta make sure you're ok," he said gruffly.
So much for not crying in front of her guardian. Ugh.