Arthur immediately broke away from the camp and disappeared into the dark fold of the trees, where he drew his sword and began to swing it aggressively at a gnarled oak. His mind was clouded over with anger, and instead of a tree, he pictured the faces of the slavers and auctioneer. He even allowed himself to imagine cutting down the rival bidder who had viewed Merlin with such predatorial lust. He longed to march back and destroy the ring, cutting down every single monster that presided there, but he knew that they were easily outnumbered. His knights were the best in Albion, but it was too big of a risk. They weren't focused and it would be better to return with more force. So, he continued to take his anger out on the poor tree.
Leon was standing beside him, with a torch, when he finally lowered his sword and turned to head back to camp. "Feel better?"
"Not particularly."
Leon nodded and glanced around him at the tree. "Gwaine set off in the opposite direction to do the same."
"Naturally." Arthur sheathed his sword and puffed out a breath. "Who's on watch?"
"Well Pervical and Elyan have the perimeter and Lancelot has Merlin."
Arthur nodded. "Good. That's good."
"Do you think he'll be in well enough condition to begin traveling tomorrow?"
"I think so. I didn't see any outstanding injuries that would prevent him from riding. They beat up, yes, but nothing permanent. They probably kept him in better condition as the time came to..." his mouth went dry at the mere thought of the next word. "Sell him," he finished softly.
Leon grimaced and nodded understandingly. "Probably," he agreed softly.
Arthur sighed and ran his hand over his mouth. "This is a nightmare. In all the ways I thought we'd find him, this was...I almost wish he had been killed," he muttered bitterly. "Death would have been a far kinder fate than this."
Leon didn't say anything for a moment. "You're right," he said softly. "But we have him back, and that's what matters. We can get him better."
Arthur wanted to believe him. More than anything he wanted to believe and adopt Leon's optimism. But..."I don't know, Leon," he murmured. "They shattered his spirit, collared him like an animal, and completely removed his autonomy. I don't see how he recovers from this. I really don't."
"We'll get him there," Leon said. "Getting him home to Gaius will probably be the best balm for him. For both of them. You know how much pain Gaius has been in."
He had a point there.
Arthur would never be able to forget the empty sorrow in the old physician's eyes as the months passed without any sign of Merlin. He could even hear his own voice promising that he would stop until he had searched the whole of Albion to know for certain that Merlin was still out there.
"We have him," Leon repeated. "Which means we can heal him. Gaius will have a way to get the collar off, and if he doesn't then we will search for the one who can."
Arthur found himself nodding, even as his mind drifted to the time that he was taking away from being with Gwen, and being a monarch. Merlin needed him, yes, but he had responsibilities. The kingdom was in Gwen's capable hands, but that didn't mean he wasn't needed.
Leon seemed to be reading his thoughts. "Let's start with getting him home. We'll go from there."
He continued to nod and heaved a sigh. "Okay."
Leon stepped forward and grasped his shoulder. "Okay. Now I'm going to give the same speech to Gwaine."
Arthur chuckled weakly and began back to the fire with him. "Good luck."
Leon patted his shoulder and disappeared into the trees.
"It's okay. You're okay. It's just a dream. It's over."
Arthur frowned at the sound of Lancelot's voice and looked to where Merlin was lying, cowering and writhing in the throws of a nightmare while Lancelot tried to offer as much comfort as possible without actually touching him.
"It's over, Merlin," he continued to soothe.
Merlin curled into a tight ball, while whatever tortured his memory continued to wrack his mind.
Not a sound was escaping his mouth.
Not that it was needed.
Arthur could hear his screams loud and clear.
His limbs refused to move. All he could do was stare in shock and horror as his best friend jerked on the ground.
Lancelot wasn't having any success.
Arthur finally gained control of himself and dropped to his knees next to Merlin. "Merlin, stop."
Merlin froze, his body going completely rigid.
Horror slipped into Arthur's stomach as he realized what he had just done.
"No, no, no. Not like that. Not like that. I just want you to wake up."
Merlin's eyes opened on command, and shifted to Arthur, staring at him in terror.
"I just wanted the nightmare to stop," he said softly. "I swear I..." He realized that Merlin was still holding completely still. He wasn't even breathing. "You can move. You can breathe. Please, God, breathe."
He scrambled away from Arthur and immediately slipped into the bow with his forehead pressed against the ground. His body was shaking again.
Tears pricked Arthur's eyes. "Merlin..."
"I'll talk him down," Lancelot said softly. His expression was as broken as Arthur felt.
"I just wanted him to wake up," Arthur said helplessly.
"I know."
Arthur had never felt so helpless and useless in his life.
"Try and rest," Lancelot suggested. "You've had a trying day. I'll continue to sit with him. One of us should try and get some sleep."
Arthur wanted to protest. He wanted to yell and scream. But that wouldn't help, and he knew that Lancelot was right. "Okay," he relented. "Just...wake me if...well if anything happens."
"I will," he promised.
Arthur took a long glance at Merlin, his heart shattering even more before he walked around to the other side of the fire where his pack was resting. He yanked the blanket out, and folded it into a pillow, before laying down and staring blindly at the sky.
He doubted sleep would come.
But he had to try.
. . .
Merlin was no better the next morning.
He flinched at any sudden movement, near him or not, darted his eyes anxiously around the camp at every sound, and seemed to be bracing himself for some kind of attack. It was abundantly clear that any fight had been beaten out of him, and that he would take whatever came at him.
The knights noticed as well and were taking extra care to be gentle around him. Each of their steps were deliberate and thought out. They ensured to maintain a wide perimeter around Merlin, only stepping near him when no other option presented itself.
Even Gwaine was subdued. Something they all rarely saw. His jokes, when he had one, were toned down and almost muted in comparison to how they usually were. His gaze continuously darted to Merlin throughout the routine of making breakfast, and Arthur knew that he longed for a simple solution to fix him.
Lancelot seemed to be the only one able to get anywhere near Merlin. Arthur wasn't sure what he had said last night, but it helped. Merlin seemed the slightest more relaxed with him in his space than all the others. It was he who was able to approach Merlin with a cup of water.
Merlin shrunk into himself and glanced anxiously at Arthur.
"You can drink," Arthur said.
He was getting more and more curious about how the collar worked. Would he have to renew the permissions for Merlin's basic needs every day?
Merlin accepted the cup with a shaking hand and took a tentative sip, before quickly setting it down again.
"You can have more," Lancelot said.
Merlin chewed his lip nervously for a moment, before picking the cup up again and taking a longer drink.
"Well done," Lancelot praised. "Now, how about some breakfast?" He accepted a bowl of porridge from Gwaine and held it out to Merlin.
Merlin stared at the porridge in shock.
Arthur could almost read his thoughts.
Two meals so close together?
They must want something.
What do they want?
Merlin glanced fearfully at Arthur.
Arthur curled his hands into a tight fist and attempted to take a calming breath. "You can eat, Merlin. You don't have to do anything to earn it."
Merlin swallowed nervously and shook his head.
He didn't believe Arthur.
He probably couldn't.
A year's worth of conditioning and torture wasn't just going to magically go away after one night.
He chewed his lip for another moment, before seeming to make up his mind. He peeled his tunic over his head, and lowered himself onto his back, raising his arms above his head and spreading his legs again.
Arthur was too stunned to do anything.
Thankfully Percival acted quickly and tossed a blanket over Merlin, covering him.
Merlin flinched.
Lancelot adjusted the blanket. "We're not going to do that," he explained gently. "You don't have to do that ever again."
It was probably going to happen, but one could hope.
And hope they did.
Arthur hated the idea of giving an order, but he couldn't bare the sight of Merlin lying on the ground waiting to be raped. "Sit up, Merlin."
Merlin obeyed, his movements jerky as his limbs trembled. His eyes were filled with unshed tears and confusion.
"All we want you to do is eat," Lancelot said. He looked at Arthur and gave a small nod.
The message was clear.
Arthur cleared his throat and looked down. "Eat your message, Merlin." It was revolting to have such power over another human being, but if it was what Merlin needed to get some proper food in him, then he would do it.
He looked up to accept a bowl from Gwaine and watched as Merlin ate.
His eyes were glazed over and dull.
Arthur felt dirty.
In the span of 12 hours, he had given a total of four orders, exercising the power of complete control over his friend.
What sort of messed up hell had they found themselves in?
. . .
They let Merlin sit by the fire while they packed up camp.
Lancelot had helped him put his tunic back on and then had left him alone to stare quietly at the fire.
Arthur did his best to focus on doing his part in getting everything ready to leave. Being busy prevented his mind from dwelling on the horrific reality they were now facing. Instead, he thought of who was waiting for him in Camelot, and how anxious he was to be with her again.
"Alright," Leon said, once the packs of supplies were all loaded on the horses. "Let's get up."
They all turned to look expectantly at Arthur.
Arthur hated himself.
He walked over and carefully crouched down next to Merlin who, of course, flinched. "It's time to go, Merlin. We've got a bit of a ride ahead of us. I need you to get up."
Merlin obeyed and got to his feet, before following Arthur to his horse. He stepped behind Arthur's horse, pressed his wrists together, and held them out expectantly.
It took Arthur a moment to realize what he was expecting, and his heart dropped slightly when he did. "You'll be on the saddle with me," he said, working hard to keep his voice even. "I should have brought a horse for you, but you know me. I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached. Come on," he coaxed gently.
Merlin frowned in confusion but obeyed, and slowly mounted the saddle.
Arthur climbed on behind him and gripped the reins. "Alright then. Let's get out of here."
The knights didn't need to be told twice.
Gwaine took the lead, with Percival behind him. Arthur fell in behind Leon, with Elyan bringing up the rear.
Arthur gripped the reins, mentally psyching himself up to survive the journey ahead.
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Thank you for reading! :) ️ Sorry for the hiccups that this story is coming with.