Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.

Kenny McCormick sat in his dirty living room by himself, typing away on his Samsung Chromebook he got as a gift one birthday from his old friend Butters Stotch when they were in high school. Now at the age of 23, he was a published author. Self-published, but he sold enough books to be able to make a living so long as he kept writing. It started with a book full of dirty haiku he'd written as a joke, but published just because he found the idea funny, but then after he woke up after getting trampled to death by a bunch of animals that had escaped from the local zoo, he'd seen that he'd gotten quite a number of reads. Most of which were read with Kindle Unlimited, but a few people had paid the $1.99 he charged to buy the book as an eBook, and there were a couple of physical orders too, so he began writing actual erotic fiction. When you were a pervert who'd been through all the ridiculous shit that happened in this town, you're nowhere near short on ideas for dirty stories to write.

Before it had been mentioned that his living room was dirty. Well, most of that mess was books he'd ordered on Thriftbooks. The majority of which were of the genre he wrote, because it was fun to see how other authors wrote sex scenes (though he'd seen many better examples of smut on websites like AO3 and FFN). However, while that was the reason he ordered these books specifically, that wasn't the reason he ordered any books. The reason he ordered books in general was because of the mail lady. More specifically, because of who the mail lady was. A girl he'd known since he was a kid, who'd once dated his old friend, Stan Marsh. Stan had moved out of South Park years ago, and to Kenny's knowledge, the man had become successful in some business (Kenny could never remember which one). The girl, or at this time woman since she's an adult, was Wendy Testaburger. He'd always thought she was cute when they were kids, but as an adult, he thought she was sexy. Kenny had a thing for women in uniform, and now that she was a mail lady, he saw her in uniform every day except Sunday. One of the benefits he got from working at home was seeing her as often as he did.

Kenny looked at the clock on his computer after the Google Docs "Saving…" turned into "Saved to Drive" (He'd had files not be saved in other documents he could type stories on before, so Google Docs was the best option in case something caused his Chromebook to shut down suddenly, because it autosaved). The time on the clock read 1:21. Usually, the latest she'd show up at his house was 1:30, so he knew she was going to be here soon. He walked to his front door and opened it. She was at the house next door, and he saw her carrying an envelope which had a book he'd written in it. The book was titled Killing Me Won't Kill My Sex Drive, and he'd put some of his own experience in this one.

Wendy looked towards Kenny. He still had on his orange parka, with the hood up, mostly because that was the easiest way people recognized him.

"Oh, hey, Kenny. I see you got another book today," Wendy chuckled because that was pretty much the daily routine at this point. Kenny wrote enough books to get some reads or buys every day at this point, so he always had some new ones coming.

"Thank you. I've been waiting quite some time for this one I wrote," he began. "This one is really important to me, given where the ideas came from."

Wendy raised an eyebrow. "Wait, you write books?" Wendy hadn't spent much time on social media in recent years, as it can at times be bad for your mental health, so she'd never seen the occasional "My new book is out!" tweets he made out on Twitter. Kenny wasn't on FaceBook anymore because he got banned for posting pictures of boobs too often back in high school.

"Yeah, it's mostly dirty stuff," Kenny answered. He laughed when he saw Wendy's expression that basically said, Go figure. "I write a lot though. And, as you can tell, I read a lot.

"Wow, I never thought I could relate to you of all people!" Wendy laughed. Kenny knew Wendy was book smart, so even he figured she liked to read. "Well, that's really cool. I'll have to read some of your books sometime.

"If you'd like, you can borrow that one from me," Kenny offered, holding out the envelope towards her.

"Really?" Wendy asked. "Are you sure? You said you've been waiting for quite some time for it."

"Well, I already know what happens in it," Kenny joked. "Just bring it back to me when you're done reading it."

"Okay, and maybe we can talk a bit about books when I do. I'm actually trying to write something myself," she said. Kenny figured. He'd looked over her shoulder while she was working on it in high school, although he would've thought it would've been published by now.

"Oh, well, maybe I can help you get ideas for how to write it then?" Kenny offered.

"I'd like that," Wendy responded.

"And maybe take you out to dinner sometime too?" Kenny suggested.

Wendy chuckled. "Wow, you jumped to that fast, Kenny." She looked at him and smiled. "Know what? I'm okay with that. I've known you long enough."

YES! Kenny thought excitedly, though he tried to keep it cool outside of his mind. "Okay then. I'll pick you up at 6:30 on Sunday?"

"Okay," Wendy answered. "Well, I gotta deliver the rest of everyone's mail now. Bye, Kenny!"

"Bye!" Kenny said. He went back into his house, closing the door with a smile on his face.

So, the inspiration for this story is the fact that I've been ordering a lot of books lately, sometimes with Thriftbooks, sometimes with Amazon, and I actually do think the mail lady that delivers the mail is kind of cute, so I made a story based on that. I actually don't read a lot of dirty stuff myself usually though. I just made that something Kenny did because we all know he's a pervert haha! Anyway, I hope you all liked this story. It was a fun quick one to write.