"I can take it, you know..." Gon raised his hand, admiring the contrast it made against the night sky.
"What?" Killua frowned as he took the bench beside him. It had been three years since their separation at the World Tree. Three years. He could barely believe it had only been that long, when it had actually felt like decades to him. Yes, Gon and him had been in touch through texts and call throughout, yet nothing could really beat that old feeling. It'd be a joke to simply summarise it all into just three words. I missed you. What does that even amount to?
"Whatever it is you're keeping bottled up. If you want to talk about it, I can take it." After a moment of hesitation, he continued. "I know I haven't ever really paid attention to your emotional needs but... just... yea. I think I have changed in these three years. I- I wanna be a better friend to you now. Try making up for all those times I wasn't."
Changed. Killua didn't like that word much. "You've always been perfect, Gon." He kept his gaze down, locked onto his fidgeting fingers. "You don't need to change or--"
"That's not true, Killua. You know it. I have never been very considerate to you... or to anyone else, really. I was always so bent on finding Ging that I... I was maybe losing track of everything else. All I cared about was Ging--"
"You're supposed to. He's your dad--"
"No. He left me at his home town when I wasn't even old enough to remember him. He didn't even made Greed Island for me. It was just a game he made with his friends."
"I don't believe that."
"Ging abandoned me, Killua. Yet, I only kept chasing after him. Even when he kept running away from me. And guess what I did, I turned out to be just like him. I abandoned you too... during my fight against Pitou, I forgot everything else."
Killua squeezed his eyes shut. "It's not your fault." His head was pounding, his breathing shallow.
"Yes, it is."
"Even so, you already apologized for it."
"Exactly." A warm hand touched Killua's dampened cheek. "And when you apologize, it's a promise you're never going to make that mistake ever again. I want to keep that promise, Killua. I really do."
"I don't know." Killua whispered, heart beat calming down as more tears trickled down his cheek. "You don't need to. I'm fine."
"You're not fine, Killua." Gon gently wiped the tears out of his eyes. "But that's okay. We can work towards the fine-- together, just like old times."
Old times. The phrase shot straight into his chest. It hurts. "I killed again, Gon. I promised not to--" He hiccuped out. "--I promised never to kill again. Not to walk on the path of the bloodthirsty assasin my family had chosen. For Alluka. Nanika. For you."
"Was it for yourself? Killua, really, what do you want?"
"I want to be with you, forever." With that, Killua's emotional walls collapsed. That's it. The words just feel right. He reached out for Gon and received a warm embrace back.
They were still in a tight hug, when Gon whispered. "And Alluka?"
"Nanika too." Killua whispered back. They all needed a fresh start, desperately. And it was about time they admited that and actually began working for it.
[A/N: Soo yea popped into my head outta nowhere and I just had to get it out. Is it edgy? Maybe. But I've been feeling it. (the cover picture is def edgy tho can't defend that)]