Imagine the voice of Rod Serling.
"Picture, if you will, an unusual scenario: people all over the world turning to dust. In Sydney, in Singapore and in a town called Springfield. And imagine there is only one man who can save us from this dire disaster; he is a simple ordinary man named Homer Simpson.
"Who, you may ask, is this Homer Simpson? Imagine a bald man with a pot belly. He wears a white shirt and blue pants, and he has a blank look on his face. Despite all appearances, this is the man who will save billions of lives.
"There is more to this story. This is the story of an unlikely alliance between a magical superhero named Doctor Strange, a powerful tyrant named Thanos, a cultured refined mobster named Fat Tony, and the aforementioned Mr. Simpson.
"Along the way, we will even meet a grumpy uptight Comic Book Guy, All of these people are about to enter 'The Twilight Zone.'"
You hear the music sting from the end of the theme for "The Twilight Zone." As gentle tinkling music plays, we see the outside of a house. As a camera slowly moves in toward the house, Mr. Serling continues to narrate.
"Here you see the exterior of a simple everyday house. This is the Simpson house. Inside is the kitchen. We go into that kitchen. There, Homer's wife is about to confer with their children."
"Kids, I'm worried about your father," Marge Simpson said in her squawking voice. "He hasn't been himself lately."
"You're right, Mom," Lisa Simpson said in her usual urgent and earnest tone of voice. "Something's wrong; Dad hasn't been in any kind of trouble for quite a while now."
"He's actually been kind of laid-back lately," Bart Simpson said. "He hasn't tried to strangle me in weeks, no matter how much I bug him." Bart's eyes widened. "What is happening, man?"
Little Maggie Simpson, held in Lisa's arms, simply made squeaking noises with her pacifier.
Marge and the kids approached Homer in the living room. The big-bellied yellow bald man was sprawled out on the couch. There was a serene smile on his ape-like mouth, his ping-pong-ball-like eyes were only half open, and the top of his head held only two strands of wispy hair.
Homer took great pride in those two strands. Once when he was in the Army and those two strands were cut off, Homer screeched hysterically. In his usual overly emotional manner, he ran around and loudly shouted, "I'm a freak!"
In this current situation, Homer was not hysterical; instead, he seemed peaceful and serene. Wearing a dreamy serene smile, Homer looked up at his family. When he spoke, his voice was equally dreamy and serene.
"Hey, Marge. Hey, kids."
As Maggie made more squealing noises with her ever-present pacifier, Marge made a quiet little frightened-dismayed noise in her throat.
"Homer, we're worried about you. You've been so calm and well-behaved. What's going on?"
"Yeah," Bart said. "Who are you, and what have you done with the real Homer?"
"Yeah, Dad," Lisa said. "I'm worried." Maggie squeaked her agreement.
"We're all worried," Marge said.
It only added to Marge's worry when Homer responded with a hearty chuckle.
As Homer sat up, he put on a pair of thick dark-rimmed glasses. This caused Marge to gasp. It was possible that Homer was going through one of his phases where he became temporarily smart, or simply thought he was smart, and that always meant trouble. Like when he tried to sell sugar that got dumped on the highway, and he lost his job. In another situation, he had a crayon removed from his brain, and he got the nuclear power plant shut down.
But then Homer said something that really alarmed Marge. He held up some kind of black device.
"There's no need to worry. I have a remote control that lets me visit other worlds and go into other dimensions. It's been a big help to me. And it's going to help a lot of people."
The family members all gasped.
Then Bart smiled. "Cool," he said.
The camera pans up to a night sky. Once again we hear the voice of Rod Serling.
"Let us leave behind the Simpson living room. We now jump ahead in time, and space, to a scene in a courtroom."
Against the backdrop of the starry sky, we dissolve into a courtroom where Homer Simpson stands with his head bowed. A judge towers high above him. She is positioned so high that one wonders if the judge will declare the poor man to be obsolete.
One also realizes the situation is very familiar.
Homer Simpson was in court. Again.
"Mr. Simpson, what do you have to say for yourself?" the judge demanded.
As he often did, in or out of court, Homer raised his shoulders in a sheepish posture.
"I'm guilty of a lot of things, Your Honor," Homer said in a meek voice. "I once framed my wife Marge for a D-W-I."
A lot of people in the courtroom gasped, including the judge. Marge quietly growled.
Homer went on in a sobbing voice. "One year I failed to show up for a father-daughter dance; Principal Skinner had to take my place."
Now Lisa Simpson narrowed her eyes as she quietly growled.
"When alcohol was outlawed in Springfield, I smuggled it in in bowling balls! I even had my son Bart help me."
As Bart gulped nervously, Judge Edna Krabappel sighed with disgust as she shook her head. Nevertheless, Homer continued on.
"I've done a lot of bad things, Your Honor. I admit that. But I haven't done these things I'm accused of here today in this court. I didn't hit that gym teacher, and I didn't pants Moe."
It would be understandable if Homer did hit the gym teacher. That so-called teacher was a particularly obnoxious sort, the kind who, using great force, repeatedly hurled soccer balls at his young students while shouting, "Bombardment!" He was less like a gym teacher and more like a crazed drill sergeant.
This crazed teacher was so obnoxious that Bart once brought in a frozen ball from home so he could hurl it at the teacher. While Lisa would call that poetic justice, Bart called it payback.
"Mr. Simpson," the judge said. "How do you explain all the eyewitnesses who saw you hit the gym teacher? And as far as your other crime, how do you explain this video testimony?"
A video played on a screen in front of the judge's desk. The video showed Moe having his pants pulled down by someone who looked like Homer. As the someone ran away, he laughed like this: "Tee-hee-hee-hee!"
As she leaned forward, the judge took on a slightly crazed angry look while tilting her head side-to-side.
"That person not only looks like you, he also laughs like you. Plus, your fingerprints were found at the scene. How do you explain that, Mr. Simpson?"
"I don't know," Homer said in a weak voice as once again he bowed his head.
"I believe I can be of assistance," someone said.
This someone strode across the courtroom. Dressed in blue robes and a red cape, he had jet-black hair except for some white streaks around his ears.
He had someone with him, someone gasping and groaning as the red-blue man held him by the scruff of his neck. Although the chafing struggling someone wore thick dark glasses, he definitely looked like Homer Simpson.
The people in the courtroom gasped.
"What?" the judge exclaimed. "Two Homer Simpsons?"
"Yes, Your Honor," the red-blue man said. "More correctly, this is Homer from another universe." More gasping from the crowd. "We'll call him 'Homer-Prime.'"
Homer-Prime protested. "I didn't agree to that name. I want to be called 'Homer-P!'" As he spoke in a triumphant voice, he lifted high an index finger. He then gagged as, ever so briefly, the red-blue man lifted him off the ground.
The man pointed to the other Homer. "We'll designate this Homer 'Homer-13.'"
"Whatever you say," the judge said while batting her eyes. She put on a dreamy smile as she rested her chin on folded fingers. "And who might you be, my good sir?"
"I might be Doctor Strange. In fact, I am. I am here to help Homer-Prime explain the situation."
"I'm 'Homer-P!'" Homer-P shouted as he broke free from Strange's grip. He tried to run but when Dr. Strange waved his right hand Homer-P froze where he was.
"D'oh," he said quietly as he narrowed his eyes.
"If you say you'll be good, I'll unfreeze you," Dr. Strange said.
"I'll be good," Homer-P murmured. Dr. Strange waved his hand, and Homer collapsed a little.
As he shrugged his shoulders, Homer-P bowed his head. "Very well. I shall tell my story. I have been to other worlds, and I am a lot smarter as a result."
The judge eyed him suspiciously. "We'll see how smart you are."
From a front row seat in the courtroom, Marge looked astonished, as if Maggie had just been put in a grocery bag.
In a defiant manner, Homer-P lifted an index finger. "I will say this: I can't be charged with crimes on my own world because I haven't done anything there. And I can't be charged for things I've done on other worlds because I don't actually live there; I'm outside their jurisdiction." As he grinned, Homer wiggled his fingers. "See? I'm pretty smart."
Placing his wiggling fingers above his ears, Homer danced back and forth. "Na-na-na, na-na!"
After she banged her gavel, Judge Krabappel narrowed her eyes. "You may think you are smart but it is clear you are also arrogant and immature. Much like the Bart Simpson of this world who has been before me many times."
"Yo," Bart said.
"Let's move on," the judge said in a dry tone of voice.
As the judge visibly fumed, Dr. Strange nudged Homer-Prime. After sulking and glaring a little, that Homer told his story.
It went like this:
I was lying on my couch watching Itchy and Scratchy and Krusty and some other stuff, and I was getting really bored. It made me wish I had the power to create whatever television shows I wanted using just my thoughts.
If I did have the power to alter reality and I sensed someone having bad thoughts about me, I'd send them away to another place, a place I'd call "the cornfield."
But I couldn't do any of that so I just watched what was on, wishing all the while I could send away some of those stupid TV executives.
Anyway…
All of a sudden a strange glowing yellow portal opened up in my living room, and these two guys came out, and they were fighting.
"Whoa!" I said as I sat up sharply.
The one guy was in blue clothes with a red cape, and the other guy was big and blue. He was the color of blueberries! I pointed the remote control at them, and I pushed some buttons but nothing changed. So I just cheered them on instead: "Fight, fight, fight, fight!"
Another portal opened up, and the two fighting guys maneuvered into it. Even though the two guys were gone, the portal stayed behind. It took me about two seconds to decide I should go into that portal.
Once I did, I found myself on the other side. The two guys were still fighting but then another portal opened up, and they went into that one, and they were gone.
All alone in that strange place, I looked around. I saw that it was some kind of warehouse with boxes and crates that were labeled. There was the Lost Ark, something called "the One Ring," Doctor Who's Tardis, the "Back To The Future" car, a Green Lantern ring, a sliding device and a lot more stuff.
One thing that was not labeled was a remote control, charcoal-black. I picked it up and looked at it. "Hmm," I said.
Then someone surprised me.
"Homer," the someone said abruptly and sharply.
After I screeched hysterically and struggled to catch the remote control, which had flown out of my hands, I turned and stared at this guy who had just surprised me.
"Hey," I said. "You're that guy in red and blue who was fighting the big blue guy."
"Yes. I've been chasing him throughout multiple universes. Once I lost him, I returned here. My name is Doctor Strange, and 'the big blue guy,' as you call him, is a very dangerous fellow named Thanos. Now that that's out of the way, mind telling me what you're doing here?"
"Um..." I let my eyes dart back and forth as I struggled to come up with an answer. "I was just looking for the bathroom."
"Uh-huh," he said. It sounded like Dr. Strange didn't believe me. "You were trying to find a bathroom and you ended up in an inter-dimensional warehouse. That's unusual, even for you, Homer."
I gasped as my eyes got all big and wide. "You know my name?"
Strange nodded. "I've been keeping tabs on you. I can see into other worlds. I can even see into the future. A lot of futures, actually." With a modest smile as he bowed his head, he shrugged a little.
"Great! Give me some winning lottery numbers."
Dr. Strange narrowed his eyes. "There's a much greater purpose for you, Homer. A greater thing you can do."
"Oh," I moaned in disappointment.
"Thanos wants to destroy half of all life in your universe."
When Dr. Strange said that, I screeched a little.
From the courtroom, Dr. Strange spoke. "Let me tell the story from now on, aided and assisted by my Magic Screen. Patent pending."
As people in the courtroom gasped and cooed in astonishment, a screen with rippling yellow edges appeared in midair. An image appeared of Dr. Strange and Homer standing in a warehouse with crates piled high all around them.
"Oh, no!" Homer gasped, slapping his pudgy yellow hands to his face like Macauley Culkin in "Home Alone." "This guy's going to destroy half of all the people. Which of my family will he take? Marge and Bart? Marge and Lisa? Please, Thanos, take both the kids! Leave Marge!"
"Homer, you don't really mean that," Strange murmured. He looked puzzled and concerned as he lifted a finger. "And aren't you forgetting Maggie?"
Homer shrieked hysterically. "You mean there might be only half of Maggie walking around?"
Dr, Strange held up open palms. "Try to be calm, Homer," the good doctor said quietly. He pointed to the black remote control. "That device you're holding can help you travel to other worlds, other dimensions. I want you to use it. Whenever you feel like doing something impulsive or obnoxious, go to another world and do it."
"Oh!" Homer squealed with delight. "That sounds like fun! This day is getting much better." He made a face. "But how will this help stop Thanos and prevent half a Maggie from walking around?"
Dr, Strange spoke in his rich deep voice. "If I tell you, it won't happen."
"Tell me!" Homer pleaded in his most pleading screeching voice of anguished protest.
Dr. Strange shook his head. "All will be revealed in good time, Homer."
"Oh! How mysterious." Judge Krabappel spoke in a dreamy voice then she smiled and shook her shoulders.
"I want to tell this story," Homer-Prime protested as he pointed to Dr. Strange. "You're telling it wrong!"
Dr. Strange sighed quietly. "Very well, Homer. Go ahead. As you tell the story, it will play out on my Magic Screen."
"Oh!" Homer-Prime squealed. "A Magic Screen! So pretty."
On that Magic Screen, Dr. Strange narrowed his eyes as he looked at Homer in a very serious way. When he spoke, he sounded very serious, too.
"If Thanos destroys half of all life in the universe, superheroes will find a way to bring everyone back, no problem. Well, okay, a little bit of a problem. Kind of a pain, actually." He narrowed his eyes some more. "But it could result in some very bad TV shows afterwards."
"Oh, no!" I cried out. "Not that! Anything but that." I grabbed Dr. Strange by his blue shirt and wailed loudly. I wailed for quite a while, Your Honor.
When I got done, I noticed Dr. Strange grinning a little.
"There is a bright side," he said. "It could result in the disappearance of Comic Book Guy. No great loss there."
For a while, we both laughed hysterically. But then I got serious with him.
"Isn't every person valuable?" I said.
Dr. Strange bowed his head. "You're right, Homer. You have shamed me with your concern for all of humanity."
The judge banged her gavel. "Mr. Simpson, I doubt very much that you expressed such a sentiment."
"I did so!" Homer insisted. He crossed his arms and lifted his head in a quiet act of defiance.
"We shall see as we continue to explore this case," the judge said. "Continue your testimony, Mr. Simpson."
After a heavy sigh of contempt, Homer did so.
So this is what happened: I did what Dr. Strange told me to do. I used the remote control to travel to other worlds where I did obnoxious things to people.
"I can imagine," the judge murmured.
Sometimes I pantsed Moe but other times I gave out wedgies and Wet Willies and Indian burns to Mr. Burns.
I visited all kinds of strange worlds, some worlds with superheroes, some worlds without. On each one of those worlds I did something to somebody. Then I returned home very calm and relaxed.
Here's an example of what I did on another world: I went to a Kwik-E-Mart that was run, not by Apu, but by Comic Book Guy.
(The people in the courtroom gasped. )
The Magic Screen showed Comic Book Guy approaching Homer inside a store.
"Excuse me, sir," Comic Book Guy said in his droll slightly uptight voice. "You may not consume food or beverage within my establishment."
I looked up from my Orange Sludgie with a hurt look on my face. "Why not?" I moaned.
Comic Book Guy put a hand on his over-sized hip as he moved his head back and forth. "Because it's our policy, that's why not."
"Oh!" Homer growled. "Apu is so much cooler than you."
"I am unaware of this 'Apu.'"
"He's someone cooler than you! You just don't want me drinking in your store because you think I'm shoplifting!"
"That is correct."
"I just paid for it!"
"I do not recall that."
"It was just seconds ago! Is your brain so full of comic book stuff you don't remember anything?"
"I'm afraid you shall have to leave!"
"Fine! I'm leaving. I don't need your stupid store anyway!"
As I marched out of there, I heard Comic Book Guy say something.
"Fatso-weirdo," he muttered.
"What?" I shrieked as I turned to face him. "What did you say?"
Comic Book Guy made this solemn pronouncement as he pointed a chubby finger. "Leave at once, sir, or you are trespassing."
I remained firmly in place as I narrowed my eyes and put my hands on my hips.
"Oh, that's what you do, huh? You're rude and mean to someone, you get them all riled up, and then when they respond to you and what you're doing, you use some 'law' to shield yourself from a response!"
"That is correct. Now get out."
In the courtroom, Marge showed some awe. "This Homer seems pretty smart, and he's fairly well-behaved."
She then watched as Homer, screaming and shouting, was pushed out by Comic Book Guy.
"Maybe not," she murmured.
The Magic Screen showed another Homer walking into the store. Comic Book Guy was not pleased, and he showed it by frowning deeply and folding his arms.
"Didn't I tell you not to come in here?"
A wide-eyed Homer looked stunned. "What are you talking about? I haven't been in here all day."
As Homer was hauled away by police, he had this to say:
"But-but-but-but…."
"Maybe this other Homer is not very nice," Marge said.
Homer-Prime continued his testimony.
After getting thrown out of that place, I went back to my usual antics.
But after a while I got tired of the wedgies and the Wet Willies so I decided to do something more.
I started asking people for money to commit acts of revenge on people they hated. If money on that world was different, I had to go to another world where the money was the same as on my world. I then gave the money to some poor unsuspecting sap and had them give me an equal amount of their money. Once I did that, I would then return home with extra money, knowing I wouldn't be charged with nny of the crimes I committed.
Eventually I was approached by our local mobster Fat Tony. He spoke to me in a voice that was gentle but still eerie and sinister.
"Homer, I understand you have been traveling to other worlds."
I gasped a little. "How did you know about that?"
"I have my sources," Fat Tony said. "Plus you blab about it when you get drunk at Moe's, And I got one of your fliers."
He handed me a flier. It said, "Acts of revenge committed for reasonable rates."
"I usually only hand those out on other worlds," I said sheepishly.
"Nevertheless, I am intrigued by these multiple other worlds and the opportunities for increased revenue enhancements for me and my men."
"Oh! Me, too!" I squealed.
Fat Tony must be a good organizer because soon people from other worlds, mainly other versions of Fat Tony, lined up to give my Fat Tony money. It was money they made from all of them working together. What a beautiful thing! And I got a cut of that.
So I went home calm and relaxed and full of cash. And then I heard my family talking about how they were worried about me.
"Heh heh," I laughed.
When they approached me, I told them the story I'm telling you now.
When I got to the part where I went into the portal, my family reacted like this.
"Oh, Homie," Marge said with great concern and a touch of affection. "That was dangerous."
"You shouldn't have done that, Dad," Lisa said. "You could have ended up somewhere horrible. Like a black hole."
"Or Shelbyville," Bart said.
Lisa waved her arms. "You could have ended up on another planet."
"Oh!" I exclaimed. "Like Tatooine or Vulcan?"
"The point is you'd be far away from us," Marge said in a sad voice.
"But I'm all right," I said in a happy confident joyful tone of voice.
"The end," Homer-Prime happily concluded in the courtroom. As he smiled and raised his eyebrows, he joined his fingers together. "What about it, Your Honor? You got someone you want to get even with? I'll whack them on the head and return to my own world. No one will be the wiser. We can talk a good price."
The judge's eyes widened, only for a moment. When she narrowed her eyes, she banged her gavel.
"Mr. Simpson, I cannot believe you are here in a court of law soliciting money for the commission of a crime."
"'Soliciting,'" Homer murmured in a giddy way. "Hee-hee."
"Stop that!"
"You stop it," Homer-P insisted, putting his hands on his hips as he put on an irritated face.
Judge Krabappel banged her gavel loudly and insistently. "Mr. Simpson, I am a judge, a high official."
"Oh!" Homer exclaimed. "A high official, eh?" Half-closing his eyes, he smiled and moved his eyebrows up and down. "What are you high on? Can I get some?"
More loud gavel-banging. The judge then spoke in a very firm harsh voice.
"Mr. Simpson, I am a ruler and a top official in this court!"
"Oh! 'A ruler and a top official,'" Homer screeched in a mocking voice. Raising his hands, he swung his hips as he spoke in a high-pitched sing-song voice. "La-de-dah! Whoop-de-doo!"
"Homer, stop it," Dr. Strange hissed.
Homer-Prime sulked a little. "My bad, Your Honor. Instead of whacking someone for you, maybe I could simply be your guide to multiple other worlds. Maybe you could pay me for that."
"Pass! Hard pass," the judge declared. She gave Homer-Prime a look. "Mr. Simpson, when you visited, one might say 'invaded' these other worlds, what kind of activities did you engage in?"
"Well, Your Honor, I am not under your jurisdiction so I am not obligated to answer your questions. Nevertheless, I choose to do so voluntarily. So, you asked me: what did I do on these other worlds? I spent a lot of time whacking gym teachers."
The people in the courtroom gasped, the judge the loudest. She even put a hand to her open mouth.
"You killed gym teachers?"
"No! I didn't kill them!" Homer-Prime reacted with great irritation; he even seemed offended by the suggestion. "I just whacked them on the back of the head."
The judge stared for a moment. "But what if some of these gym teachers were actually nice people?"
Homer snorted then laughed. "A gym teacher who's a nice person? I hardly think so. Especially if they're the kind who throw soccer balls at kids and shout, 'Bombardment! Bombardment!'" As he shouted, Homer did a crazy dance with his legs and waved his arms wildly.
The judge banged her gavel then pointed it. "You, sir, are guilty of bad dancing. And prejudice!"
Homer made a face. "It's not prejudice. It's a perfectly natural reaction, a normal way of thinking. Gym teachers stink!"
The judge glared as she leaned forward. "That, my good sir, is exactly how a prejudiced person thinks!"
"Oh!" Homer-P gasped with delight. "You called me 'good sir!' Am I free to go?"
"No!"
"D'oh," Homer moaned quietly as he bowed his head and slumped a little.
The judge seemed to tower high above him.
"Mr. Simpson! Did it ever occur to you that as you went about committing these acts of mischief and dastardly deeds-?"
"Oh!" Homer cooed. "You talk very fancy."
"You certainly do express yourself well," Dr. Strange agreed.
Edna seemed to melt. "Why, thank you! I was an English major before law school. In addition to being a judge, I want to be a novelist."
"I'm sure it would have been a great novel, Your Honor," Dr. Strange said.
"I've already written one. I'll send you the rough draft."
"I look forward to it. I'll read it in a snap." Grinning, Strange looked around but found no one laughing. There were only blank stares from Chief Wiggum and other citizens of Springfield. At the center of all that, Comic Book Guy sat with his arms crossed while looking quite grumpy.
A sheepish Dr. Strange tried to explain. "You see, there was this event in another universe called the Snap where millions of people disappeared…." As he trailed off, the bearded Dr. Strange sulked as he bowed his streaked head. "Maybe you had to be there."
"Glad I wasn't," Comic Book Guy said. "Otherwise I might not be here now."
"Yeah, real funny there, Strange," Chief Wiggum murmured in a voice much like that of Edward G. Robinson.
"Worst. Joke. Ever," CGB said.
The judge gave Homer-Prime a stern look as she jutted a finger out. "Mr. Simpson," she said sharply.
"Who, me?" Homer-P said sarcastically.
"Yes, you," Krabappel said in an irritated tone. She leaned over to glare down at Homer-Prime. "Did it not occur to you that when you went out to commit your foul deeds on other worlds that you were creating problems for the other Homer Simpsons on those other worlds? Like the one in this courtroom, for example."
With his eyes half-closed in a look of disinterest, Homer-P responded with a mild shrug. "Yeah, that's too bad. But what are you going to do?"
The Marge of that world spoke up. "But, Homer. Other-Homer. That means the me in each of those worlds was very sad about Homer getting in trouble for something he didn't do. And now I feel very hurt."
The eyes of Homer-Prime widened. "Oh, no! Not that! I wouldn't want any Marge anywhere to feel sad or hurt!"
"At least you are finally showing some remorse, Mr. Simpson," the judge said.
With a glum look, Homer-Prime nodded. "I'm sorry about the other Marges on those other worlds."
Homer-13 wore a goofy smile. "Multiple Marges. I like that idea."
Judge Krabappel wiggled her eyebrows. "Doctor Strange," she said. "You are a magical being in more ways than one." After a little more eyebrow wiggling, she slipped back into serious judge mode. "This apparently involves you being able to see the future."
"Multiple futures, actually." Dr. Strange managed to say this without sounding arrogant.
"How wonderful," Krabappel said in a dreamy voice. She quickly switched back to stern judge mode. "But if you can see the future, how could you let this particular Homer run amok throughout the multiple universes?"
"I'll show you." Dr. Strange was already waving his hands, and a new image appeared on the Magic Screen. In that image, Fat Tony approached Homer and gestured to a large blue figure, a figure so large he couldn't be contained on the Magic Screen; from the waist up, he was off screen.
Fat Tony spoke in a voice that was a little rough and rumbling but still smooth and cordial.
"Homer, I'd like you to meet our new partner Thanos. Thanos has a great deal of experience with multiple universes, and he should be a big help to us in managing our endeavors and enterprises."
"'Enterprises,'" Homer said with a light laugh as he shook a little.
"Hello," Thanos said. "I'm Thanos."
"Thanos, eh?" Homer said, rubbing his chin. "You seem familiar to me.'
"I have that kind of face," Thanos said.
"I've been so busy I can't always remember everyone." Homer looked almost shy as he reached up to shake the large blue hand of Thanos. "How do you do, Thanos?"
"I do very well, thank you," Thanos said. "I have decided that, rather than destroy half of all life in this universe, I shall instead make money with the two of you and share the wealth with the less fortunate throughout all the universes. Plus, I'll live a nice life. Maybe do some gardening."
Homer chuckled lightly. "Sounds like a plan, Thanos."
Thanos chuckled. "Better to make money than destroy half of all life in this universe."
"A very pro-capitalist message," Fat Tony said.
"Amen," Homer said. He snapped his fingers. "Wait a minute. You were the one fighting Doctor Strange. You're that guy who wanted to destroy half of all life in this universe. I'm glad you gave up on that. I certainly wouldn't want half-a-Maggie walking around." When Homer laughed, his laugh was like that of Barney Rubble.
As the image faded away, Dr. Strange stepped forward to deliver his concluding remarks.
"Thanos was going to destroy half of all life in that universe. Instead, he went into business with Homer and Fat Tony. That struck me as a lesser evil."
"Is all of this true?" the judge asked.
"It's all very much true, Your Honor," Dr. Strange said solemnly. With a wide-eyed look, he waved his hands. "You saw it on the Magic Screen."
"I'm glad that's settled." She rapped her gavel violently then pointed it at Homer-Prime. "I order you to make restitution to every Homer Simpson you ever harmed."
"Well," Homer-Prime said. "I'm not actually under your jurisdiction but I'd like to do that anyway. I've never cared about anyone but myself but I do like this Homer fellow. He's a good guy, and I have some sympathy for him. I'd like him to share in my good fortune. In fact, I'd like every Homer out there to have a good life and a good future."
The judge made a face. "Isn't that still caring about yourself?"
Homer-Prime looked puzzled and uncertain. "I suppose, in a way, it is."
"All charges against the Homer of this world are dropped!" The judge banged her gavel one more time. "Court adjourned!"
Marge of that world embraced her Homer. "Oh, Homie! I'm so glad it wasn't you!"
"You're the greatest, Margie-baby!"
Marge looked very happy. "It's nice to know that no matter what world it is, you're the same sweet Homie who loves and cares about me."
"It sure is, baby." Homer-P put his arm around her.
Homer-13 pushed him away. "Hey! Get your own Marge!"
As Homer-13 and Marge embraced, others filed out of the courtroom, and Homer-P was left standing all alone.
The voice of Rod Serling was heard:
"Mr. Homer Simpson. One of them, anyway. The simplest of all simple men has just saved half of all life in his universe. Now he will be a simple hero to other Homers throughout the multiple universes, even though he is the cause of their problems. Ah, well. Such is life, in 'The Twilight Zone.'"
A footnote:
A portal opened up in the courtroom, and Thanos stepped out. The judge gave Thanos a skeptical look. Not just because he wore shades, a straw hat and a flower pattern shirt, but because he was actually smiling.
The judge tapped her gavel against her lower lip.
"There's something I still don't understand, Thanos. Doctor Strange tells me you wanted to destroy half of all life in your universe to conserve scarce resources. But now you're okay with just making money with Fat Tony and Homer?"
Thanos made a growling noise but somehow it was a happy growling noise. "I developed a new plan. I had Fat Tony's organization track down the Infinity Stones for me."
"The Infinity Stones?" the judge said with a puzzled look, gavel still against her lip.
"The Infinity Stones allow the bearer or user to alter reality," Dr. Strange explained.
"Oh! There was a boy in my court once, Anthony Fremont. He thought he could do that with his mind." The judge laughed a little. "He had to be committed. All the while, he was yelling about how he was going to turn me into a jack-in-the-box."
"Interesting,'" Thanos said. "Anyway, once I had the Infinity Stones, I used them to go to another universe and change half the people there into Homer Simpson. Then I released them throughout the multiple universes."
The judge's eyes shot wide open as she gasped. "You didn't!"
"But I did."
She turned to the guy in the red cape. "Dr. Strange, how did you miss this?"
"I must have been watching some other universe that day. There's so much more to monitor and keep track of. You know, when you've got the Eternals and the Quantum Universe, even one universe gets to be pretty big. It's hard to keep track of everyone and everything." Dr. Strange ran a hand up his forehead as he looked extremely stressed. "Look at all the people in Springfield. There's so many of them. So many! It's too much1"
"Maybe you'll be joining Anthony Fremont," the judge murmured.
Homer-Prime put a fist to his forehead as he spoke in an anguished voice. "Oh! This is like Season One of 'Loki' where nothing happens for so long and then at the end a bunch of stuff is about to happen and then the season ends!"
Edna plopped back in her seat. "All those Homers out there creating chaos. What will we do?"
Dr. Strange sounded grim and serious. "I'll send out different versions of Spider-Man to collect all the Homers. Then we'll change them back somehow. Scientists will change them back or something. Not me. I've got enough on my plate." Once again, he sounded really stressed out.
The judge looked thoughtful as she tapped that gavel against her lips. "So, different versions of Spider-Man, eh?" she said.
Homer-P, as usual, looked confused.
"Why just Spider-Man? Why not all the Avengers?"
Dr. Strange looked grim, and stressed. "Because then Hollywood will turn the story into seven movies instead of just three."
Homer cried out in anguish. "Oh, cruel Hollywood! Why can't you make a completely satisfying movie that makes us eager and glad to see the next one? Why do you resort to cliffhanger endings that leave us hanging and unsatisfied and we have to wait for the next one and we feel like we're forced to watch it? Curse you, 'Back To The Future: Part Two!' Curse you, 'Empire Strikes Back!' Curse you, 'Fast And The Furious: Part Ten!' Curse you, 'Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse!'"
Falling to his knees, Homer-P shook a yellow fist at the unseen gods of Hollywood.
"Why, Hollywood? Why?"