Billy cleared his throat, clicking on the camera. It took him so long to work up the courage to even pull out the camera. He'd bought one, when he'd gotten the new lair, to do blogs with, but…
"So, it's been a while." He stared at the camera, letting out a long sigh through his nose.
Jeez, Billy, get it together!
He cleared his throat again, "As you all must know, I've been inducted into the ELE for… two years now. Time sure does fly when you're… being evil."
"Whatever," he pushed his goggles up onto his forehead, like how he used to wear them, before. Before the end of the earth. "More importantly, I have something to show you. The only reason I'm picking up the camera again, really."
"My house has been invaded." He leaned into the camera, "I was on my way home after one of my most successful heists, I'm sure you all know about the recent robbery of every major bank in the US at once! Some of my best work, really, it took weeks to set up- but that's not what this is about."
"As I said, I was on my walk home-"
There was a snuffling from the door to his lab. Billy paused.
"I was using one of the main gaits of terrestrial locomotion among legged animals to get home after a most successful heist! When something hijacked my way home. It wouldn't leave me alone all the way up to my lab- the fancy new one the ELE gave me, yeah- on the note of that, some of you may know but I've perfected the laugh! The only reason you'd know is if you got to see me in person or because of videos on YouTube- which is so disrespectful, by the way! I'm doing an art when I'm doing a heist, and if you're just sitting there taking a video and not appreciating it? Like, I'm working for social change and you're on your phone!"
"But whatevs, I guess. Anyway, the laugh:"
He swallowed, taking a breath before letting out an evil cackle fitting of a member of the Evil League of Evil: "MWUH-HA-HAHA-HAHAHA!"
and then the door to his lab burst open with an excited Bark! Bark! Bark!
Billy didn't get a chance to react before he was being pushed to the side and a black, white, and brown blur was jumping up onto his table and licking his face with a big blue tongue.
"Haha- Wait! Nickel- Nickel, down-" Billy protested in vain, getting a face full of excited dog. He couldn't stop the peals of laughter as Nickel jumped into his lap to get a better vantage point. Nickel's tail was wagging so hard it knocked over the unfinished rays on his desk.
"Nickel! Down!" Billy finally managed to pry off the dog, getting a clumsy boof sound in response.
"Meet my home invader." Billy rubbed his face on his sleeve, trying to get rid of the dog spit, "He's made himself a home here, the fiend, and so I have decided to call upon my watchers to help me give him an alias! I can't be calling him his name in front of heroes, after all."
"I'll be checking my emails again after this goes up, but only for an hour. Don't waste my time."
"Peace! But, not literally." He gave the camera his lopsided peace sign around Nickel, who wagged his tail at the movement.