I have about 7 of these already done so I'll toss them out every so often. Enjoy!

I walked through the halls, hoping that I was blending in because the alternative wasn't something I wanted to find out about. I've always had a bit of a baby face. Tried tutoring at my old high school once and the staff thought I was being truant and skipping classes. Still, I should really figure out where and when I am before someone realizes I don't actually belong here. I turned toward a quieter hallway, noticing the kids were drifting off to a possible assembly or class and I jumped when the door to my right opened.

"The less you know, the better. I'll explain it all later. Go and sing with the otters."

I blinked at the Twelfth Doctor who stared at me for a solid moment as though trying to realize who I was, but Clara behind him sighed in relief.

"Thank goodness you're here. Please tell this idiot to give me some proper answers instead of all this nonsense about deep cover."

I opened my mouth, closed it, then pointed at my chest. "Sorry, me?"

She rolled her eyes, turning to glare at the Doctor instead. "I hate you."

"That's fine. That's a perfectly normal reaction," the Doctor hummed, stepping out of the room and hooking an arm around my shoulders. "Come, Ash. We have things to do."

"Do we?" I questioned, giving Clara a confused look as he walked me away and I glanced up at him. "Sorry, um, not quite sure what's happening. Should probably at least mention that I am very early. Or, well, that's what your last self kept saying."

"Ooh, early, is it? I totally saw that coming."

"Did you?" I asked dubiously.

"No. Not at all. Tell me, when was the last time you rested?"

I blinked, surprised he'd asked. "Given I was writing my thesis in a cafe one minute, was yeeted into another universe and chased by the Slitheen family, then thrown off to your floppy-haired self to hike six levels of a maze away from an army of Weeping Angels? Two days ago?" My stomach twisted, letting out a low grumble. "And a sandwich and soda were all I had before I got chucked here."

"Ah, very early indeed," he hummed, pausing for a moment before turning me about and eyeing me with a frown.

Or maybe it's just his eyebrows…?

"Two days?"

"Y-Yeah?"

"My memory's poor. Tell me, have you entered the Tardis yet?"

"Well, no. I was about to after the Slitheen thing but then—"

"Right. Don't need the whole rundown," he cut me off, making me roll my eyes before he grinned, releasing me. "Excellent. Come. I'll take you to the Tardis, make you something to eat, and then off to bed for a kip."

"Just like that?" I questioned, rushing to catch up with his long legs.

"Just like that."

"But I thought you'd be all… 'Sleep is for the weak,' or something. You're always running about."

"Yes, however, you are not me," he pressed, opening a door into the caretaker's storeroom and waving me through. "And I have become well aware of knowing when you're at your limit. I have found offering you space to rest during the less… adventurous moments prevents further hazards later on."

I shot him a suspicious look. "Do I really hit you that often? I'm not really the violent type."

He chuckled a little. "Oh, you don't need to throw something when I wake you for me to know when you're displeased. The first time was enough for that message to get through. Now, hurry up. I have things to do, obviously."

"You don't have to come with me," I huffed as we moved toward the Tardis. "I'm sure she'll give me directions."

"And miss showing off?" He scoffed. "No, no. It's your first time in the Tardis and I need to impress."

I raised a brow, feeling a bit awkward with him as he opened the Tardis doors and gestured for me to head in. It was weird though. I hadn't known what to expect from the Doctor when I was first dropped in this universe (and when I realized which universe it was). The Ninth Doctor didn't seem to know me at all, which was fine since I didn't really know how to interact with him either; other than to possibly try and impress him to prevent being homeless. Then, I ended up with Eleven who was as friendly as anyone could imagine but a bit touchy-feely with all the hand-holding. Still, it felt like I was missing something when I was with him. He had obviously known me for quite some time at that point and it felt awkward at times. Like he was holding something back. And now there's Twelve.

I paused in the doorway of the ship, not yet looking in and instead facing him, earning a curious, raised brow. "Back with the angels, you said that you thought it was sad that I wasn't bothered about leaving my universe."

"Did I?" He questioned, though his gaze flickered into the Tardis briefly before settling back on my face. "I can hardly remember what I had for breakfast today, much less what my past self said all those years ago."

"Why did you say that?" I pressed, confused and questioning what our relationship was that he felt such a way.

He was quiet for a moment before sighing, turning his gaze to the Tardis once more. "Because it's true," he muttered, stepping into the Tardis himself and I hesitated before following.

The moment I did, it was like all the tension eased from my body. The room felt cozy, safe, like coming home after a long day at work. I honestly loved Twelve's Tardis the most with the various levels of books and the warm orange glow of the console. I trailed after the Doctor as he led me through the hallways, quiet and wondering if I should keep asking questions and if he would answer them at all. How do you ask someone about something like this?

I lightly pushed the thought aside as we walked into the kitchen. My gaze drifted to the fridge, remembering the hundreds of times I would wander to the fridge at home and stare at it expecting something more to be in there. The piles of Tupperware containers holding old meals that my grandma made despite her never making anything good. The old food that no one bothered to throw out until it smelled rotten. The lack of easy meals to make because my younger siblings ate them all before I had the chance. For a moment, I was lost thinking about back home but the memories were sour. It was tainted with arguments and the constant feeling of stress that came with living in a house where the older people thought I didn't know anything because I was young, where a dying father who still acted like he was head of the house. There were sibling arguments, my grandfather laughing as I yelled at him for trying to feed his overweight dog food from the table, and a million other things. I frowned at the memories that weren't more than a few days old (Had it only been that long since I was home?) before the Doctor started up the stove, drawing me out of my thoughts.

"You're cooking?"

He glanced over his shoulder at me with a raised brow. "You've had a long couple of days. I hardly expect you to do anything more than pop a frozen meal in the microwave."

"Rude," I muttered under my breath, but knew it was true and begrudgingly sat at the table to wait. "Should I help?"

He wrinkled his nose. "No. I have a process. Sit. Do whatever you do when you sit."

I snorted, plopping my chin into my palm only to wince and frown at the scrapes on it from falling before. I shook my head and got up, ignoring the Doctor's gaze as I went to a sink and turned the water on to rinse the injury.

"You're hurt?" He questioned, coming up beside me and grabbing my wrist as my gaze flickered to the stove.

"Just a scrape from falling. It happens when I get jerked into another time and place." I jumped when his other hand brushed my neck, taking a slight step away from him.

"There's bruising and scrapes on your neck too," he pointed out.

"Yeah, sorry. I was kind of being held hostage by a Weeping Angel when I left."

He grumbled something about incompetent past selves before moving over to a cupboard and pulling out a first aid kit. He waved me to the table and I sighed but went to sit down.

"Shouldn't you be minding the stove?"

"The Tardis will make sure nothing burns," he grumbled, taking my wrist and wiping it off before spraying the injury with something that made it tingle.

I stayed quiet as he repeated the process with my other hand and my neck, wrapping all of the injuries and ensuring the bandages and plasters were secure.

"Should be fine in a few hours," he muttered, returning the first aid kit and going back to the stove. "Try to be less clumsy in the future."

Clumsy? I mentally scoffed, rolling my eyes and leaning back in my chair, ignoring the jab. Twelve wasn't exactly known for his bedside manner anyway, and I honestly didn't mind. I appreciated blunt honesty even if it did come off rude at times. Though he's been pretty tame, honestly.

"Are we close?" I blurted out, instantly regretting it when I saw him stiffen. "Sorry. You don't have to tell me if it's spoilers or anything. I just thought… I don't know. It's weird, you being nice."

"I'm nice," he argued with a pout as he pointed to the stove. "I'm making you food."

I snorted. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just weird, is all. I've only known you for two days. Different yous but you all the same. Even your last self was really friendly. It's strange from my perspective. I half expected you to… well, hate me."

He fully turned around at that; a frown on his face. "Hate you? What for?"

I shrugged, watching as he moved to the fridge and put a drink on the table for me before getting some more things for whatever he was making. "I don't know. I read a lot. Plenty of people have wondered what it would be like to meet you while knowing the same stuff I do. They figured you'd get angry about it."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "I have no reason to be angry."

"Just thought, with companions leaving and stuff that maybe you'd be upset I didn't stop anything," I offered as an example, thinking of a few companions that got the short end of the stick. "People die and get hurt on trips with you or in general. I have the opportunity to prevent that and it just seems like standing back is something others would be upset about."

"Humans," he huffed, setting a plate of pasta in front of me and waving the tongs he'd used to serve it up. "Humans are the ones who would be angry because they don't understand the burden foreknowledge—or knowledge itself—places on a person. I already know you blame yourself for things that are not your responsibility. I know you think too hard about your choices. It's obvious."

"And you don't?" I asked, and he paused, eyeing me seriously.

"I hold the consequences of my actions close, just as you do. I have the years of experience you don't though, as well as an in-depth understanding of how time works. I can feel the flow of time in a way you can't. You cannot be held responsible for what happens when your knowledge is limited to a single timeline that ceased to be accurate the moment you were brought into this universe."

The words were almost identical to what Eleven had told me and I took a bite of pasta before frowning and pointing my fork at him.

"So, this timeline really isn't that accurate to what I know? That's the second time you've told me things like that."

He sighed, sitting down at the table to join me. "Time is complex and always changing and altering itself."

"Wibbly wobbly," I teased, earning an eye roll from him at the reference.

"Yes. I do believe you have described it as a root system."

"Roots?"

He nodded, using his finger to draw a line on the table. "It is a straight line until there is a choice to be made." He drifted his finger upward. "You make a choice and the timeline changes to follow that choice until you hit another and another and so on. Each choice leads to another timeline but those timelines can also drift back to the original if the choice itself has little to no effect on the path itself."

I hummed, understanding what he was saying mostly. "Makes sense, I guess. Time travel must really mess things up then, huh?"

He shrugged. "Depends on what occurs in the past. Change a large event and you create ripples in the future."

"Butterfly effect."

He grunted. "Yes, though even that has options. Killing Hitler might stop a war before it starts but it also has the potential of making it far worse."

"Good thing he got locked in a cupboard then," I joked with a chuckle. "This is great by the way. I'm shit at cooking without a recipe or anything not in a box."

"I'm well aware. Teaching you has helped but you struggle to season. It needs work."

"Well, not like anyone back home could season anything. Grandma couldn't cook for shit but was the only one bothering to make meals."

Silence settled over the table for a moment before I frowned at my plate and glanced up at him as he eyed me silently.

"Is it weird that I'm not upset about it? About leaving my universe? You said it was sad but… but I'm not. Not really, anyway. I…" I lowered my gaze again. "I miss my friends, my professor, my mom, and a few siblings but… that's it. I'm honestly more worried about who's caring for my pets while I'm gone. Is that… Is that stupid? Am I just a little fucked up for not being bothered?"

"No," he said firmly, surprising me a bit with how quick he was to answer. "I said it was sad because it is, but that's no fault of your own. There was a lot going on, from what you told me, and you didn't have many attachments. It's not that you are wrong but that few people around you helped fix your situation. Getting thrown into another universe, with people who know you, was a release from the stressors in your universe. It's fine not to be overly upset. I can't handle you crying anyway."

I watched as he turned away with a frown but felt a swell of warmth in my chest that made me crack a small smile as I prodded at the remains of my meal. "Well… thanks, Doctor. I'm sure it would be terrible if I didn't at least have someone here who cared. It's nice that it's you. Even if I probably annoy you with my popping in and out of things."

"It is endlessly annoying," he complained, making me chuckle, and even he cracked a smile as I finished my food and he waved off the dishes. "The Tardis will deal with them. Come. You haven't seen your room yet."

I brightened up, eager to see what the Tardis had in store and the ship must have been eager too since we had only just turned the first corner before the Doctor stopped me in front of a plain wooden door.

"There might be a few projects lying around. Do actually get some sleep before working on them," he grumbled. "I assure you they will still be there when you get around to it."

"You say that but I procrastinated on the proposal for my thesis for almost two years," I countered as he shook his head.

"Yes, well, you never leave these projects along for long." He waved toward the door. "Go on."

I hesitated before reaching for the handle and pushing the door open to see my room for the first time.

"Holy shit," I breathed, vaguely hearing the Doctor scold me for my language as I stepped into the room.

There were fish tanks everywhere. Some were empty, brand-new, rimless aquariums waiting to be set up. Others were already filled with plants and had fish lazily drifting around the tank. I had multiple tanks at home that I had made after doing my research and spending hours to get them to look how I wanted. I couldn't have as many as I wished, nor as big as I wanted thanks to living at home with my parents—who weren't fans of the threats to their hardwood floors nor the water bill.

Walking past the room of tanks led me to my bedroom where a large bed rested on top of a lush carpet. A desk was set aside in one corner and books were scattered around on wall shelves. It was a far better room than I could have asked for and I turned to the Doctor with a million questions on my lips that he already had answers for.

"The Tardis maintains the tanks when you're not around. Water changes are unnecessary because she takes care of them, though you made sure there are enough plants to not really need them. The fish are all Earth species, per your request, and you have yet to dive into saltwater or alien tanks. Fish are fed on a schedule as well, though the Tardis will let you know if you need to feed them or not. Something about you liking the personal connection or something."

I slowly closed my mouth before opening it again. "I had a tank of guppies back home. I thought it was cute how they'd all come up and nibble my fingers."

He grunted, eyeing the tank behind him where large discus fish had started to drift over toward where we were. "Yes, well, I prefer them over the many other creatures you've tried to bring in."

I cracked a small smile, knowing I would try to coerce him into letting me have pets, but also knowing the risks of having that responsibility while running around with him and popping up randomly.

"Thanks," I muttered, drawing his attention. "For letting me have them."

His hand settled on my head, pushing my head down as he ruffled my hair. "You enjoy them. I won't stop you from having something you love."

I lightly swatted at his hand, wrinkling my nose at my messed-up hair and frowning at him before he gestured to the door nearby.

"Bathroom is through there. Clothes in the closet beside it. Get some rest, Ash. I might need you later."

"Yeah, alright… Thank you again, for dealing with me."

"It is my pleasure."

I woke up slowly with a frown, brows furrowed and eyes still closed as I listened. I always woke up because of something, whether it be my dog excessively chewing or whining or my sister's kitten trying to knock things off shelves or drink from my fish tanks. I strained my ears but was met with nothing but silence which was strange. I felt well-rested and as though I was missing something or forgetting something. I finally sat upright, heart racing at the worry I'd slept in and hadn't taken my dog out only to stare at the room I was in.

It wasn't mine nor the cafe where I'd been working on my thesis. I had forgotten about not being home and had forgotten about universe jumping. I worried about my dog and what my mom and sister would think about my not being around before I pushed the thought aside and slid to the edge of my bed. The Tardis let out a hum that I waved off.

"I'm fine," I muttered, getting up and running a hand through my hair as I went over to the closet to pick out something to wear.

I wasn't picky and grabbed a pair of jeans and a plain grey shirt before dipping into the bathroom to shower. Should've done it before sleeping. I feel gross. I wasn't quite awake yet though, or I didn't feel very awake, anyway. My mind was fogged almost, not lingering long on thoughts of home or my pets or anything at all as I showered. I didn't want to think about it anyway. I doubted that there was a way back to my universe and dwelling on such things felt weird to me. Yet another thing to add to the "Does this make me strange or fucked up in the head?" talk, I guess.

I finished getting dressed and stepped out of the bathroom to see some packets of fish food, which made me smile. I picked them up and went into the next room, feeding the fish and taking a moment to watch them in their planted tanks. Laser cories scuttled along the sandy bottoms as Apistogramma dashed out to join the fray. Discus lazily floated in another tank, in no rush to get to their food, as various plecos suckered their way up the glass and a reed fish slithered out from some rocks as well. A bunch of fish I couldn't have back home. Glad the Doctor doesn't mind. I considered one of the empty tanks nearby but shook it off, stepping out of my room before I could end up stuck aquascaping a tank for hours on end.

I walked down the halls until I entered the console room, seeing no Doctor in sight. So, I grabbed a coat that was waiting for me by the door and slipped it on as I exited the Tardis in search of him. I wasn't sure what exactly happened in this episode either, so I wanted to stick close to him anyway. I remember a robot and… yelling. I sighed lightly, being careful to slip away from any teachers I saw patrolling the halls until I was outside and spotted the Doctor working on an electrical box.

"Whatcha working on?" I asked, making him stiffen and turn with a frown as he gave me a once-over.

"You know I hate it when you do that," he grumbled, turning back to the wiring.

"I don't, actually. Only just met you, remember?" I hummed, crouching beside him and folding my arms over my knees. "Though, I've had old coworkers say I need to wear a bell. I blame high school band practice. All that rolling from heel to toe makes for some silent walking."

"Electrics, if you must know," he said, answering my previous question about what he was doing and ignoring my rambling.

"Hm, yeah but like fixing the electrics or fiddling until you can do something when no one's looking?"

He shot me a look just as one of the teachers approached.

"Ah, the new caretaker, right?" He questioned with a smile. "Adrian Davies, English teacher." He spotted me then. "I'm sorry, and who's this?"

I went to try and come up with a response but the Doctor beat me to it.

"My wife."

I whipped to him so fast it was a wonder I didn't get whiplash as he abruptly attempted to fix his mistake.

"Sorry, did I say wife? I meant assistant. My assistant. Caretaker duties often require an extra pair of hands."

As if to emphasize his point, he shoved a pair of pliers into my hands. Still a bit dumbfounded, I barely registered Adrian's question about my name and somehow managed to croak out a response.

"A-Asher. Sorry, I'm Asher Watkins."

"Adrian Davies," he said back with a small smile that the Doctor quickly blocked my view of.

"And how can I help you, Mr. Davies?" He paused then and I leaned back to see we'd been approached by yet another teacher. "And Mr…?"

"Pink," the other man introduced.

"Of course, Danny Pink here is your man, Mr. Smith," Adrian chirped, looking proud of his colleague. "Five years military experience, sergeant, here and Afghan. So, electrics, boilers, if you need a hand, give him a shout."

"I-I've helped Atif with a couple of things," Danny offered humbly as the Doctor huffed.

"I'm sure we won't need you, sergeant. Fully qualified," the Doctor said as something in the box sparked, making me flinch. "You best get back to your PE class."

"Oh. I teach maths," Danny corrected.

"Do you? What, in emergencies?"

"No. I'm a maths teacher," he repeated, looking confused as Adrian nodded.

"Yeah, he's a maths teacher."

I leaned back to see the two. "Why would him being a soldier automatically mean he's good at electrics and boilers and things? Sorry, it's just… unless he was a mechanic or something I don't see the correlation. Do they train soldiers differently here?"

Danny seemed to realize something then. "Oh, you're American."

"Just a bit, yeah," I joked before there was the sound of glass breaking and Adrian rushed off to scold a student.

"How does that work?" The Doctor cut in. "What if the kids have questions?"

"About?" Danny asked, confused.

"Maths."

"I answer them. I'm a maths teacher."

"But he said you were a soldier."

"He can be both," I said pointedly, nudging the Doctor and knowing he was being rude because the man was a soldier. "Behave."

The Doctor wrinkled his nose before Clara suddenly headed over and cleared her throat.

"Uh, excuse me, Mr. Pink. I think class 9M4 are waiting."

"Yes, you better run along, sergeant. That ball isn't going to kick itself, is it?" The Doctor huffed.

"I-I'm not a PE teacher. I'm a maths teacher," Danny repeated.

"Nope, sorry. No, I can't retain that. I've tried. It's just not going in."

Danny walked away as the Doctor and I got up off the ground and Clara set down a watering can before turning to the Doctor.

"So, Pink? The name remind you of anything? Either of you?"

I raised a hand. "I'm actually really new to this so…"

"Asher, Clara. Clara, Asher. She's only been jumping around a few days. No spoilers," he warned, pointing a screwdriver at Clara.

Clara rolled her eyes. "Yes, okay. But does his name remind you of anything?"

"The color," the Doctor mused as she sighed.

"Colonel Orson Pink? The guy we met at the end of the universe?" She reminded him as he pointed the screwdriver at her again and she pushed it away from her nose.

"I said no spoilers."

"If it helps, I probably won't remember that by the time I end up there," I offered.

"Besides, he doesn't look anything like him," the Doctor scoffed as Clara shot him a look.

"Looks very like him."

"Does he? I don't know. Who remembers a PE teacher?"

I leaned towards Clara. "He's got issues with soldiers."

"Yeah, I can see that. What are you doing?" She asked as he put a device inside the electrical cabinet and locked it up. "What's in there?"

The Doctor ignored her question, grabbing the pliers he'd given me and packing them away. "So, is he here then?"

"Is who here?" Clara asked as we walked.

"The one that you keep going on serious dates with."

"If he is, are you going to start talking like a normal human being?"

I snorted, earning a look from them. "Sorry. It's a bit funny."

"What is?" The Doctor questioned.

"The normal and human part of what she just asked. You're an alien, first off, and normal is a human social construct. No one's actually normal."

"Not helping," Clara pointed out as I shrugged as the Doctor cracked a smile and turned to Clara.

"Promise I won't. I'm being nice."

"Doctor—"

"Clara," Adrian interrupted her, stopping us. "Got this period free, yes?"

"No. Yes," Clara said with a forced smile.

"Great. Shakespeare."

"Sorry, what, Adrian?"

The Doctor smiled. "Oh, I see."

"You see what?" Clara asked.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," the Doctor hummed innocently, trailing after the two as they discussed what sounded like lesson plans.

I watched with a raised brow from just behind him; my mind trying to follow and remember anything from this episode other than a robot and yelling. Pink seemed familiar. Wasn't he… Oh. Oh, I'm stupid. Pink is her… God and the Doctor is the one who starts yelling at him. Jesus, I've walked into a mess, haven't I?

"Oh, Clara," the Doctor hummed as they walked off alone and he turned, nearly running into me and frowning. "What's with the face?"

"What face?" I asked as he waved his hand in front of my nose.

"That one. The one all over your face. Stop it."

I raised a brow. "Stop having a face?"

"No, stop making one that says you know something I don't and you're wondering whether to not you should say anything," he huffed, strolling past me as I followed. "Either say it or don't. Thinking too hard about it won't get you anywhere except a hospital for a stress-related stomach ulcer."

"So, you don't want me to tell you?" I asked.

"No. I want you to make a decision for yourself without overthinking it." He waved a hand at me vaguely. "Get on with it. We have work to do."

I rolled my eyes. "That guy isn't her date."

He stopped walking, nearly making me run into him as he frowned down at me. "Of course, he is. Look at him! Bow tie, floppy hair. He's practically another version of my last self and we both know she had feelings for me."

"Yeah, but the man just rambled on about Shakespeare and she had to force a polite smile on her face while not really listening."

"Well, who else could it be?" He huffed, starting off again and ducking into a storage cupboard to pull out a ladder that he passed me.

"Do you want to know?"

He sighed as he stopped in a corridor and took the ladder, setting it up and climbing to put one of his devices on a hanging light. "Are you going to ask me about whether or not you should share information every time you have something to say?"

I held the ladder steady, narrowing my eyes at him. "Depends. You going to tell me why you called me your wife a minute ago?"

He stopped what he was doing for a moment before continuing. "I was hoping you missed that."

"Then, you must not know me well."

He started to climb down before pausing, eyeing some graffiti on a window and muttering under his breath before wiping it off. Once back down, he folded up the ladder and handed it back, leaning in with a frown.

"I've known you for hundreds of years."

I leaned back a bit. "Congrats."

He shook his head and hefted his bag onto his shoulder again, leading me back to the storage room. "You don't have to ask me for permission for every choice you make here or any information you may or may not want to share. Even if you somehow spoil something or change things from how you remember, I will fix it."

"Shouldn't be your responsibility," I countered. "If I make a poor choice—"

"You can't know every consequence for your choices. No one does," he argued sharply, making me go quiet as he took the ladder and packed it away.

We walked back out to the playground in silence and he put another device inside a drain under a metal grate while Clara scolded some kids for playing football on a giant chessboard. After he put the grate back on, he let out a sigh.

"Everyone makes mistakes," he muttered, getting up and offering me a hand up as well. "I screw up and you help me fix things. You screw up and I do the same for you. Don't overthink things if you don't have to."

"Yeah, okay… but I'm your wife?"

He sighed heavily, grumbling something under his breath before speaking up as we headed back inside. "Yes, since I've so poorly kept that a secret… It's far in your future. Don't worry about it."

"Course, yeah, don't worry about the fact that I get married to a Time Lord who lives thousands of years and changes faces like they're going out of style. How does that work, exactly?"

"Regeneration is very complex—"

"The marriage," I corrected. "I thought River was supposed to be your wife?"

"Things change," he grumbled, tossing one more device into a basket hanging outside the caretaker's storeroom. "This timeline isn't the same as the one you saw in your universe."

"Yeah, but last I checked, there's still a lot of things wrong with me being your wife. I'm human, aren't I?"

"Yes."

I eyed him cautiously. "And you wouldn't lie about that? Even if it were spoilers?"

He rolled his eyes. "Telling you whether or not you're human isn't a spoiler. Telling you why you wouldn't be human is a spoiler."

It took a second for my mind to wrap around that. "So, still human then. Won't I get old?"

"That is a spoiler," he said, leading me inside and toward the Tardis. "As is explaining how the marriage came about and River's involvement and probably whatever other future questions you have rattling about in your head right now. So—" He turned around in front of the Tardis doors, eyeing me. "I suggest we drop this for a later date when you're more aware of what has happened."

I eyed him for a moment, still unsure of how to think about this. I'd never dated or hooked up with anyone in my thirty years of living life back home. I was socially awkward, especially when I was younger, and while I longed for some sort of connection with someone meaningful, I never got around to it. School, work, and family life got in the way alongside my own awkwardness. Finding out that I had somehow managed to marry the Doctor felt… strange. Fake, almost. I respected him currently but there was a big difference in respecting someone you knew, respecting the actions of a fictional character, and getting to know someone deeply enough to consider a long-term engagement like marriage.

"I'm… not sure what to think," I admitted and he hummed.

"I suspect not," he said, turning back around and entering the Tardis with me behind him. "You've just been torn from your universe of mindless research and job hunting, and were told a fictional character you enjoyed watching on your laptop is not only real but apparently wed to you in mysterious circumstances."

"I-I never dated."

"And I'm terrible at it, as you'll soon find out," he said with a shrug, flipping switches on the console.

"I just mean… I-I don't know how I could—how we could…"

"Ash," he said, voice deep and tinted with an emotion I couldn't quite place. "It's not something you need to worry about right now. Whether it even happens or not is still up to you… Focusing on the present is for the best. I suggest you do that and save yourself the headache."

"Yeah… Yeah, alright," I muttered quietly, sitting on the jump seat and going quiet as my mind spun uselessly in circles.

The Doctor was right. It wouldn't do to dwell on future situations but it didn't help the awkwardness in the room now. I twisted my fingers, staring down at my knees and trying to not think about the marriage or River or how much I was apparently going to change things further down the road.

"I can still hear you thinking," the Doctor grumbled, turning the inside of the Tardis green as he popped up a hologram map of where he'd left his little devices.

"You ever try not thinking about something and suddenly it's all you can think about?" I complained back, getting up off the jumpseat and moving to his side. "What are we looking at?"

"A map."

"Of the school and all those little things you were putting in secret places. Yeah, I get that, but I don't exactly remember a lot of details about things. I've no real idea what's going on here."

He shot me a look with a frown. "You didn't like my episodes?"

"First off, it's weird that you know it's a TV show and aren't bothered by it."

"Why would I be bothered? I find it quite amusing."

"Second," I continued, not about to point out his growing ego. "I honestly loved your character. Gruff, no-nonsense, bluntly honest? Love that. Some of the episodes were a bit drab and dragged on far too long but I haven't watched a lot of them in ages. Nothing against you, just my brain being dumb." I waved a hand at my head to emphasize the point. "I tend to lose interest in things quickly. I probably rewatched everything at least once but after that, it's harder to enjoy them."

"Undiagnosed mental disorders aside," he muttered, earning a raised brow from me. "You do tend to get it all worked out by the end of things. So, again, don't overthink what you can and can't say. Now, threats?"

"Just one," I sighed, knowing that much couldn't hurt. "Some robot thing and Clara won't be happy, you know."

"Nah. Killer robot walking around her school? It's practically a party," he drawled sarcastically.

"Yeah, I meant about her boyfriend too," I offered, seeing him glance at me in the reflection of the center console. "You don't like him."

His brows furrowed as he turned around to face me. "I could."

I let out a scoff of a chuckle. "Yeah, no. Fundamentally, you and him butt heads. I doubt there's anything even I could change that could get you two getting along."

He folded his arms over his chest, leaning back against the console. "What do you suggest then?"

I pointed to myself, surprised. "Me?"

He rolled his eyes. "No, the other universe-jumping young woman I decided to marry. Yes, you. I take it that he will be around far longer than I would like. So, I am… listening to suggestions to prevent further discourse and multiple women being angry with me."

I eyed him for a moment, making his frown deepen.

"What?"

"Just didn't expect you to be… asking for advice on behaving yourself."

"Well, it doesn't mean I'll listen," he hummed and I rolled my own eyes and shook my head.

"Yeah, sounds about right. Look, all you have to do is not be a dick and don't judge someone for their occupation."

"We're at a school," he huffed as we heard someone calling out just outside the Tardis. "I'm hardly going to bicker with someone about their maths career."

"Not what I meant," I sighed as he poked his head out to deal with the student who showed up.

"Can't you read?" He questioned, storming out as I trailed after him.

"Course, I can read. Read what?"

"The door. It says, 'Keep out.'"

"No, it says, 'Go away humans," she corrected as he went over to check.

"Oh, so it does. Never lose your temper in the middle of a door sign."

"What were you doing in there? What's that box?" She asked, spotting me and giving him a smug look. "Were you two snogging?"

"Nope," I said matter-of-factly. "We were checking our… supplies."

"Yes, supplies!" The Doctor agreed. "It's a caretaker's box. Every caretaker has their own box."

"It says police," she pointed out.

"It's repurposed," I lied, pointing at it. "From a police phone box."

She didn't look like she believed either of us as the Doctor got the paper towels and gave them to her.

"Towels. There. Go."

"What was that green glow?" She asked, suspicious. "There was a green glow coming from in there. What was it?"

"Of course, there was. What's a caretaker's box without a death ray?" He mocked as the bell rang. "Oh, listen. There's the bell. Off you go. Haven't you got shoplifting to go to?"

"I'm going to tell the headmaster."

"They hired us," I replied with a shrug. "Pretty sure they know."

"She's right. Now, cut along. You're running out of time," the Doctor urged.

"For what?"

"Everything. Human beings have incredibly short life spans. Frankly, you should all be in a permanent state of panic. Tick tock, tick tock."

"You're weird," she finally concluded as I snorted.

"Tell me about it."

"Yes, I'm weird. What about you?" The Doctor huffed.

"I'm a disruptive influence."

"Good to meet you."

"And you."

"Now get lost," he said with a large false smile as he shook her hand.

"Okay." She headed out just as the door opened and Clara walked in. "Hello, Miss. Love to the squaddie."

Clara whipped around with a frown. "Sorry, what did you say?" She shook her head though as the girl walked out and turned to us. "What was she doing in here?"

"Paper towels," the Doctor hummed, still holding some towels. "Now, I imagine you have many questions. Fire away. I won't answer any of them."

"What were they like?" She asked, confusing him as he put the towels away.

"What were who like?"

"The others before me. Did they let you get away with this kind of thing?"

I snorted. "He didn't really give them a choice. A few gave him a good run though."

"Like you?" She said with a smile and I shrugged.

"Dunno. I'm still early. Only met him twice. Younger hims anyway. I assume it won't take long before I act up though. I have a temper."

"Oh, don't we know it," the Doctor drawled. "Remind my younger selves to get you into therapy early. Takes some of the edge off."

"Thirty years of family trauma and undiagnosed issues can do that, yeah," I scoffed as Clara brought us back to the topic at hand.

"Yeah, okay. Look. This school is in danger."

"Well, it's lucky I'm here then," the Doctor hummed.

"From you."

"Me?"

"You wouldn't be here if there wasn't an alien threat nearby. Your strategy for dealing with it involves endangering the school."

"You don't know that."

"I don't know anything because you haven't told me anything, which means I wouldn't approve, which means you are endangering this school."

I leaned around the Doctor with my hand raised. "Um, as right as she is about the whole 'not telling' thing, I just thought I might point out that if the Doctor wasn't here wouldn't the school be in even bigger danger?"

The Doctor gestured to me, giving Clara a "Look, see?" kind of expression as she frowned.

"Yeah, I thought you'd be on my side."

"Kids in danger? Course," I offered, "but he might pull things off after hours, and again, I'd rather have a threat of danger in a school full of kids over actual harm coming to them because the Doctor left or ignored the threat. He wouldn't seriously let them get hurt, you know."

She looked a bit hesitant as the Doctor's sonic buzzed, drawing our attention to the green orb he'd made appear nearby. "What's that?"

"It's a scanner. I'm scanning. Why do I keep you around?" The Doctor huffed.

"Because Asher isn't always here and the alternative would be developing a conscious of your own," she quipped back. "Scanning for what?"

"Killer robot thing," I piped up, lifting my hands in surrender as she whipped around to me with wide eyes. "Don't look at me like that. I don't remember everything about this mess but I remember that much. If it helps I'm pretty sure everything is resolved without any harm."

"Oh, yeah. 'Pretty sure'? That's helpful."

"I didn't have to tell you, you know," I grumbled under my breath as the Doctor cut in again to answer her question.

"Any alien technology in this vicinity should show up, such as killer robots, as Ash said. I used to have a teacher exactly like you once," he complained, giving Clara a look.

"You still do. Pay attention," she said, taking a step toward the green glowing orb as a figure appeared in it. "What the hell is it?"

"A Skovox Blitzer. One of the deadliest killing machines ever created," the Doctor informed her, gesturing to me. "Killer robot. Probably homed in here because of artron emissions. You've had enough of them in this area over the years. There's enough explosive in its armory to take out the whole planet."

"Then, leave it alone," Clara tried as I raised a brow.

"Who says it's not already on the move? It might not be in the school yet, but it could walk down the street and take out any old woman, child, parent, or dog in the vicinity because they looked at it wrong."

"Or, sooner or later, it will creep from its hidey-hole and some military idiot will try to attack it," the Doctor agreed, turning off the image. "The world is full of PE teachers."

We headed back into the Tardis as Clara continued to question him.

"So, your insanely dangerous plan is?"

The Doctor held up a watch and I grinned.

"Oh! I remember this bit!"

"A new watch?" Clara scoffed. "Tiny bit disappointed."

"This is a very special watch," the Doctor countered, putting it on and pressing a button, only to vanish.

"Doctor? Oi! Ow!" Clara complained, bringing a hand up to her nose. "Did you just flick my nose?"

"It's an invisible watch," I said with a smile. "Very cool, though I was never one to pick that as the whole 'What superpower would you choose if you could have one' bit. Didn't seem all that useful unless you were a perv."

"Oh, yes. Because talking to animals would be far more useful," the Doctor drawled as I shrugged.

"I like animals. Sue me."

"How do you do it though?" Clara asked as I gave her a glance.

"Probably something about redirecting light," I offered as she looked at me in surprise. "What? They were coming up with shields for the military that did the same thing I think. Back where I'm from, anyway. Ow!" I rubbed the back of my head with a frown as the Doctor reappeared.

"Different universe and different time period. Your tech will still be a bit past ours and yes, since you were so quick to beat me to it. It reverses light waves. Really wish you wouldn't explain things before I do."

"Not like I'm smart enough to know even a fourth of what you know so I'll take it when I can get it," I huffed as he rolled his eyes.

"So, I give the Blitzer a tiny whiff of non-threatening alien tech, I lead it back here, but I don't want it to scan me, hence invisible."

"So, y-you're leading the thing here? To a school? M-My school?" Clara said in concern.

" 'My school'? Oh, that is telling," the Doctor hummed. "This is the only suitably empty place in the area. I've set up a circle of time mines around the school. Chronodyne generators. Bit unstable." He tossed Clara one of the devices he'd been putting up. "I switch them on, the Blitzer gets sucked into a big old time vortex, billions of years into the future. It's dead easy. Tiny bit boring. I'll need a book and a sandwich."

"And me," she said, giving it back.

"I don't need you this time. I've got Ash if I need an extra hand. You've got teaching to do, so I'll see you tomorrow. We'll go somewhere nice. Ancient Egypt. Crocodilopolis. They worship a big crocodile there, so the name is a useful coincidence. Go and canoodle with your boyfriend," he said, pausing and smirking at her when she turned in surprise. "Come on. I wasn't born yesterday. Far from it."

"No. No, he is kind of daft," I pointed out. "He got the wrong guy."

"Sorry?"

"I did not," the Doctor complained as I rolled my eyes.

"No. You did. I was there. It's not Adrian."

"Adrian?" Clara wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "God no. Not my type."

"See?" I said, gesturing to her. "Told you."

"You also said I wouldn't like him," the Doctor huffed and Clara looked surprised.

"What?"

I held up my hands. "Yeah, no. See, that would be spoiling it. I feel like if I say why you wouldn't like him it might sour the waters before you even meet the guy."

"No, hold on. The Doctor doesn't like him?" Clara said, taking a step forward. "How do you mean? He doesn't like him in your universe? But you know the future here so—"

"No," the Doctor pressed, stopping her from continuing. "She knows of a future. One that occasionally lines up with events that happen here but not always and not exactly. I might hate him in her world but could have no troubles with him here. Her so-called predictions are just possibilities."

"And you can't tell me why?" Clara asked and I grimaced.

"Uh, do you want to risk them hating each other more? I mean, I think it's kind of a stupid reason but at the same time, I also understand why he thinks the way he does. They don't exactly have the greatest first meeting and um…"

"And?" Clara pressed, knowing I had an opinion myself on her boyfriend.

"I… I don't remember much about him."

"But you're making assumptions."

"I'm not," I argued. "Like the Doctor said, what I know isn't accurate. I haven't really met him but if he pops up the way he does… I kind of get why the Doctor doesn't like him by the end of it."

"Great. Glad the two of you are in agreement before even meeting him," she snapped, storming toward the door. "Just deal with the stupid robot before it hurts someone."

She slammed the door behind her and I winced, rubbing my arm awkwardly before flinching as the Doctor's hand landed on my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it," he hummed. "Our companions always have a harder time understanding the pressure of it all."

"Doesn't make it easy," I muttered under my breath. "I hate confrontation."

"I know," he breathed before giving my shoulder a squeeze. "Come on. Help me finish up. We'll be busy tonight."

Yeah… Yeah, we sure will.