Chapter 2

The sun spilled through the window onto Emma's face which awoke her from a solid sleep. She leaned over the bed and looked at Hannah still sound asleep on the trundle bed; her dark brown curls were spread across the pink pillowcase. Emma grabbed her phone and started checking her texts. Then she moved to Instagram where she wondered if Chase had an insta. A simple search revealed his account and Emma was quickly scrolling through his pictures. She found out he played flag football, moved to New York from San Diego, was the youngest of three boys and loved the Chargers. She was taking mental notes when a text popped up from her bestie, Taylor.

GM, Ems. I wanted to let you know I gave Chase your number.

Seriously taylor. I mean that is amazing but nervous. Rip relaxing weekend.

Then a text from her dad came in.

Good morning, Emma. I left the list of supplies I need for the escape room on the kitchen island. I'm going to run to school for a bit. I'll be home later. I made coffee. Love, Dad.

Thanks dad. Heart emoji. Love you and see you later.

Then Taylor responded,

Friend you are the most confident person I know. You got this and I believe in you.

Tay! You're so sweet and my hype man fr. Chase is just the first person, I've ever really crushed hard for…

I know, but you got this

Do you want to come hang out with H and I later? We're shopping with the moms but we can hang afterward.

100% Maybe we can go see a movie or go to the promenade?

Perfect! Love you sis. Ill reach out when we get back.

By that time, Hannah woke up and popped up to greet Emma will a big, good morning smile. She was so happy to have such a great friend/cousin like Emma. The girls did the basic morning routine in Emma's bathroom which was connected to her room. Hannah put on black leggings with an oversized grey Bob Marley t-shirt and red Vans. Emma helped her put her hair into two French braids. She borrowed a little make up from Emma and hoop earring to complete her look. Emma put on some jean shorts and a hot pink t shirt. She finished her look with a side ponytail, purple stud earring and white Chucks. The girls ventured downstairs to get coffee and breakfast, it was about 8:30 when they made it down. The downstairs was quiet and dark, Emma opened the window coverings and told Alexa to start playing some music.

"Let me text my mom. She might be out running or something."

"I'll text my mom too. I think she said she was coming over at 9:00." Hannah replied.

Mummy. Bruh where you be?

Emma and Rachel had a very fun relationship and could banter right up with Lorelai and Rory. Emma felt comfortable telling her mom anything. They both loved The Crown so often used British terms in text. Rachel heard her phone vibrating on the bathroom counter, but before she could reach for it to read the text, she had to throw up again. She got up from the bathroom floor and brushed her teeth. She then looked at her phone.

Cabbage. I be upstairs. Almost ready

Making breakfast. Do you want some eggs with turkey bacon?

Can you make me a smoothie and add ginger? Smile face emoji

Bet

After Ross and Rachel had retreated from the kitchen, she avoided continuing the conversation with Ross by jumping in the shower and going to bed. She could tell Ross wanted to talk when he tried to shake her awake about 30 minutes after she had buried herself in the covers of their bed. She faked sleep and he must have gotten a sense because he didn't push it and went off to get ready for bed. She didn't hear Ross get up or anything but was only awoken by the sound of her bedroom door closing as Ross left the room. As soon as her eyes opened, she felt her stomach immediately feel like she was on a rollercoaster. She made a mad dash for the restroom, which is where she found herself now. She looked at herself in the mirror, washed her face and begin to get ready. She found some grey leggings, and black Rolling Stones shirt, with purple converse. She normally would dress up a bit, but she just couldn't find the energy. She ran a brush through her hair, put a little make up on, and used some perfume. Her look was finished with some diamond studs and some bangle bracelets. The make-up helped with her coloring, but she still was a little shaky. The thought of turkey bacon made her stomach turn. When she made her way down the stairs to the kitchen, she found Monica chatting with Hannah and Emma. She was stopped when she smelled the turkey bacon and stayed in the entryway.

"Good morning, friends." She said with a small wave.

Monica walked over to her longtime friend and gave her a hug with a tight squeeze at the end. Rachel became a little paranoid and wondered if Ross told his sister anything about what was going on, so she quickly pulled out of the intimate hug and began to pepper her with comments.

"Mon, how are you?" Rachel said, "You look great. I love your hair."

"Thanks, Rach." Monica replied, "I just got my hair done for this video series I'm doing for my new cookbook. Monica's dark hair had warm, light brown highlights reminiscent of caramel. Curls framed her face, and it made her blue eyes pop. Monica continued speaking as she pointed to Rachel's shirt, "I'm loving this look on you. So casual and very cute."

Rachel looked down to remind herself of what was on the shirt she had thrown on quickly in the dark closet and smiled as she replied, "Oh this old thing. It's sad because I'm not even sure I know any of the lyrics to their songs." She said with a smile, "And the shoes were a birthday gift from Emma. Is that Chandler's sweatshirt? I didn't think you were a basketball fan and I know you hate when people ask you questions about sports."

Monica was wearing classic jeans and a New York Knicks sweatshirt, she laughed before stating, "This is Milo's sweatshirt, and it was the only thing in the foyer that I could grab without going back upstairs, plus I figured it would warm up soon enough and I could wear this." as she unzipped the sweatshirt to reveal a matching Rolling Stones t-shirt. "We're twinning." Monica, "Hanny-Bear, is that still cool to say?"

"I mean if you have to ask, doesn't that mean you probably shouldn't be saying it." Rachel replied with a smile, "I don't care either way, I love it."

"I agree, and if you guys like it you can say it." Hannah added in.

Emma walked toward her mom and handed her the smoothie she had made, "It's coconut water, banana, strawberries and ginger per your request. I sampled it and it's pretty tasty. You sure this is all want, I made eggs and bacon."

Just the thought of that combination of food made Rachel want to vomit, so she took a deep breath and swallowed before she said, No, thanks. This is all I need. You're a lifesaver, Em. You have no idea."

"You're welcome. You doing, okay? You look a little green?" Emma said.

To avoid answering Emma's question, Rachel took a big gulp out of the cup in her hand and gave Emma a thumbs up. She could already feel Monica's eyes looking at her with the questions racing in her head. Emma left the vicinity to go clean up the kitchen, Hannah joined her.

Rachel turned to Monica and smiled, "Ross and I got into some wine last night, so you know how it goes."

Monica nodded and her eyes filled with sympathy, "Did you get to try that bottle of Domaine de la Romanée-Conti, I got you for your birthday? Like I said in the card, you don't need to save it for a special occasion."

By that time, Emma with Hannah in tow, had made her way back and overhead the conversation. "No, it's still there" she said as she pointed to the area in the hallway that had been turned into somewhat of a bar area it was full of bottles of nice wine and several bottles of Woodford Reserve Double Oaked Ross's drink of choice, and the other items needed to mix up most drinks. Rachel's birthday was last weekend, and she was gifted a lot of nice bottles of wine from her friends who came to her birthday party. Monica was always so thoughtful and generous, gave her the Domaine de la Romanée-Conti. Ross surprised her on that Friday after work by inviting a small group of close friends and family over. Unlike years before she was truly surprised as her mind was preoccupied with work and the fact that she was like 4 weeks late which was shocking. She had noticed it right away, but as she entered her mid 40s, she was too stunned or anything. But the days turned to weeks, and she started feeling off. When she thought about it now, she was really proud of herself for thinking of using cranberry juice as fake wine the night of her party. Her eyes turned to Monica who she desperately wanted to confide in, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it just yet. Emma almost blew up her fake story, but she just replied to Monica's question without getting into why it seem like all the wine from the party sat there unopened from the week before, "I know you said not to save it, but it was just a regular Friday. I want to be kind of special."

Monica smiled, "Aw. I get it. You guys have quite a stash, we'll have to have Phoebe over and get into this stuff. She begin to look at labels and comment on the different varieties.

Emma who knew time was ticking and once her mother and aunt started talking about wine, it would be days before they stopped quickly take charge and announced, "So, I have the list from Dad, and we should get going before we lose daylight. Mom, can you drink and walk? I want to hit up a couple stores and we need everything for Dad so he can figure out together the room tomorrow before he is sucked into the finals grading slash graduation vortex."

"Yes, of course. Let's get going. Lead the way."

Monica turned to Rachel, "Those Geller genes are strong with Emma, right? So organized."

Rachel rolled her eyes but acquiesced to the truth of the statement. "Sometimes I think the only think I passed onto Emma was my looks but then she'll hit me with a hot take on fashion that I could have said myself."

"Genetics are such a trip." Monica added, "Speaking of trips. Did you and Ross have fun at Saranac Lake when you went last month? I'm trying to plan a little weekend getaway for me and Chandler but not too far away."

Rachel spit out her shake because she was sure that was the trip where her surprise baby had been conceived. Before she could speak Monica said, "That good, eh?"

Rachel took a breath before she answered, "It was really great. We went biking, hiking and even kayaking. They also had this really cute restaurant with a great wine list. "As she finished the sentence, it wasn't too hard to remember why she was in the situation she found herself. They had killed that wine list on Saturday night.

"Sounds great. Are you guys taking a trip for your birthday?"

"I don't think so. We have Emma's birthday, then we have the Egypt trip in July."

"Emma's birthday is hitting you hard this year, it sounded like you were crying on the phone last night."

"I was. I don't know why." Rachel lied as she spoke, "Time is just going by so fast plus right now work is insane. We have a new line launching in September and everything is behind. I'm about to pull my hair out." Monica replied with a standard answer, but Rachel's mind began to drift onto how much everything would change if she really was pregnant now. She would have to take time off and figure out all that baby stuff again. She suddenly felt really hot and like she was going to be sick, so when they approached a trash can at the outside of Prospect Park, she promptly threw up into it. Which quickly brought the concern of the 3 others with her. She played it off as a fluke.

"I'm fine. It's just the wine from last night." She laughed nervously as she lied through her teeth.

Ross's text to Emma didn't tell the full story. He was going to his office at NYU, but he also had set up a coffee date with an old friend. He got to his office and picked up the thesis papers that had been dropped off. He was teaching two graduate courses along with three undergraduate courses. Since he had some time to kill, he responded to some emails. Once the time came, he packed up his things and headed toward the local Starbucks. She was waiting for him in a corner table with a tall green tea.

"Hey Pheebs." Ross said with a smile. "Thanks for meeting me."

"Of course, Ross." Phoebe replied, "Anything for you. Although I do need to meet Mike, August and Ziggy in a little bit. Can you believe that I'm a soccer mom?"

"I understand. I won't keep you and Pheebs, you're an amazing everything. We need to get together more. Would Mike ever consider moving to Brooklyn?"

"I'll work on manifesting it because I miss you guys. I can't believe Emma is going to be 14 in a couple weeks. I know all the kids would have a blast together. So, you texted pretty late last night, what is going on?"

"I'm worried about Rachel. I came to you because you really were able to reach her when she was in a dark place. And really, I needed a friend to confide in that would understand. Monica doesn't really like to talk about this stuff. I mean don't get me wrong, she is amazing."

"Ross, you don't need to say anything, I know. I'm always here for you and Rachel. I know Rachel was in a dark place after Lola died. I mean you guys weren't even really a couple or had just gotten back together, I don't remember. She seemed to be in good spirits at her birthday party last week. But people can hide it well, sometimes."

Ross recoiled a bit and Phoebe stopped talking and began rubbing his shoulder, "I'm sorry was that too much."

"No, it's just been so long since anyone has said her name out loud. It's strange because she wasn't even buried or anything and we didn't have a funeral, so I think we all just moved on or tried to move on. I will go months now without even thinking about her, then Emma will make me laugh or make me so proud and I wonder what it would have been like with another one."

"You know, I think that I was able to help Rachel because we connected over loss and how to deal with pain or not deal with pain. I'm not saying she need to change but it was so amazing to help her through all that. I really miss you guys. But is it a big anniversary? It's been about what 12 years or so. I think that would have been the gap."

"They would have been 18 months apart. "Ross replied, "" Hannah's first birthday in the middle of all and but actually Rach and I reconnected when her dad died."

"I remember now. So, what is really going on because I thought things were going well, I mean you guys went through therapy, Emma's doing great, work seems great for both of you. How is the sex?

"Well actually that has caused an issue. Rachel's, I think Rachel's going to have a baby."

"You think…" Phoebe responded in shock.

"All the symptoms are there. She stopped running, she missed work, she can't eat chicken or any poultry for that matter. You remember that Thanksgiving with Emma. I asked her about it last night but she clearly was in denial about everything."

"She was very traumatized, so you may want to give her time. I think the doctor told her the chances of having a baby was like nada. She told me that she had accepted that and made peace with it. So, this would be a huge shock, and also the fact that the last time she was in this situation it was surrounded with loss?"

"I know. I don't want to ever make her feel, I don't know rushed or how ever she was feeling back then? But I want to make sure she is able to cope and that I'm there for her. As for another baby, we don't try and prevent anything anymore. But it's been that way since we got married. Which has been about 9 years. I really thought it would never happen and especially as we both got older."

"I'm here for you and whatever you guys need. But it sounds like you're doing everything you can. If you could just help get her out of denial but it sounds like that is where she is. Tell Rachel the same thing, whatever she may want to do. This is a subject change, but I've got to get going, but we should do a family dinner soon."

Ross nodded quietly. Phoebe began to pack up her belonging to get to her boys' soccer game. They shared a long hug, promised to set up the dinner soon and parted ways at the subway station. The subway ride back to Brooklyn was quiet. Ross usually listened to a podcast or some music, but the silence was comforting as it allowed him to sit with his thoughts.

When Ross entered the brownstone after walking the couple of blocks from the subway station, he was greeted with the laughter of three tween girls. Emma, Hannah and Taylor were in the downstairs living room, noise was coming from the television, but it was drowned by the girl's laughter and chatter. Ross popped in, "Hey Em. I'm home."

"Hey Dad" Emma replied, "We got everything on your list. I left everything in your office."

"Great. What do you girls have planned?"

"We're just hanging out and we might go down to the promenade later."

"Sounds fun. You'll probably get dinner down there?"

Emma looked at Hannah and Taylor who both nodded yes.

"You girls have fun. Em, just be home by 10:00. Where is your mom? Did she go over to Aunt Monica's?"

"She did but she's home now. She got home about 30 minutes ago and went upstairs."

Ross waved to the girls as he left the room and headed upstairs. He was a little nervous to approach the topic from last night, but he knew it was a conversation that needed to take place. The upstairs was very quiet, and all the doors were closed. He went to her office first and opened the door, but it was empty. He stood for a second to look around the room was a soft yellow with grey accents. He closed the door and walked toward their shared bedroom. He opened that door and found his wife asleep covered by a flowery throw. Her dark blonde hair fell out of the top of the blanket and onto the pillow. Ross sat at the edge of the bed and patted Rachel's leg in hopes that it would wake up without startling her. He notice the flowing locks of hair begin to move and a face appeared from the covers.

"Can I have five more minutes?" Rachel teased.

"Of course, but Emma's going out tonight so I was hoping we could continue our talk from last night."

All he got was a nod, but he was going to take it. He headed into the bathroom where he pulled out a small plastic bag from his coat packet. Nestled inside the bag was a First Response test, he was just wanting an answer and he knew Rachel well enough to know deep down that is what she wanted as well. He began to think about that night years ago, the purple of Rachel's old bedroom at her parents, the Shaun Cassidy posters and the fear in Rachel's eyes about potentially losing her father.

"Ross, will you please stay with me?"

"Sure, I can just crash on the couch. Do you know where your dad keeps the extra blankets and pillows?"

Rachel's eyes grew two sizes, as she patted her comforter. Ross could see how scared she was, but he was trying to be a voice of reason.

"I'll stay until you fall asleep. I can sing to you like I sing to Emma." Sweet little Emma was almost two and an absolute doll. Her favorite nighttime routine was a story and a song.

Rachel responded with a little bit of an eye roll, and acquiesced with a sigh and said, "Okay."

As soon as Ross sat on the bed, Rachel leaned in for a kiss. Ross again gently leaned away as if to say no, please no. In his mind, he was thinking yes, please yes but he wasn't sure what she was really thinking. Ever since the incident with the infamous phone number and Rachel moving back to Joey's apartment, Ross had been seeing a therapist to work through some of the issues that lingered from Carol, Emily and Rachel. He really wanted to be a better man for his children and whoever his future partner might be, but he didn't want either of them to go down a road they may regret.

"Fine, Ross. Just sleep on the couch. You're missing out. "She turned off the side light and wrapped herself in the covers.

Ross made his way downstairs with a sad pillow and blanket, but he found that he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. His dreamless sleep was broken with a frantic Rachel saying that her dad had another incident, and that the family should be close by.

The hospital waiting room was a zoo, but Ross was so concerned that he didn't really pay attention to anyone. Rachel walked out of the hospital room, tears streaming down her face. Her dad had just passed away, and the news was still fresh and raw. She stumbled towards the waiting room, clutching onto the wall for support. Ross was sitting in a chair, staring at his phone, when he heard footsteps approaching. He looked up to see Rachel, her eyes red and puffy, and his heart broke for her.

"Rach," he said, standing up and walking towards her.

Rachel collapsed into his arms, her sobs shaking her whole body. Ross held her tightly, whispering soothing words into her ear.

"It's okay, Rach. I'm here. I'm here for you."

They stayed like that for what felt like hours, until Rachel's tears eventually subsided. She pulled away from Ross, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Thank you," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Ross nodded, a sad smile on his face. "Of course, Rachel. I'm always here for you."

Rachel took a deep breath, steeling herself. "Ross, I know we've been apart for a while now, but... I don't want to be alone right now. Can you stay with me tonight?"

Ross didn't hesitate. "Of course, Rachel. Anything you need."

They left the hospital together, their fingers intertwined. The drive to Rachel's apartment was silent, the only sounds coming from Emma, their daughter, who was sleeping in the backseat.

Once they arrived at the apartment, Rachel led Ross to the couch, where they sat down together. She snuggled up against him, her head on his chest, and they just sat there, holding each other.

"Ross, I know we've been through a lot," Rachel said, her voice shaking. "But... I still love you. And I don't want to spend another day without you."

Ross felt a lump form in his throat. "Rachel, I love you too. I never stopped."

They kissed then, a deep and passionate kiss that felt like coming home. They knew it wouldn't be easy, but they were ready to work through their issues and make it work. As they pulled away from each other, they both looked towards the crib in the corner of the room, where Emma was still sleeping peacefully.

"We'll make it work, for her," Ross said with a nod toward Emma.

Rachel nodded, a smile on her face. "For her."

The baby that Monica had waited so long for was turning one and she was determined to make it special. The running joke in the group was the Hannah was conceived the night Emma was born but seeing as she was born almost 9 months to the day, it wasn't too far off. The two girls often wore matching outfits, had tons of playdates and were almost like twins, although except for their shared blue eyes which were different shades, the girls didn't look alike at all. Dr. Green's death cast a long shadow, but Monica was determined to make the best of it for the two little girls. She was putting the finishing touches on the décor for the party. She was doing a rainbows and unicorn theme because she could have the full spectrum of colors. Chandler had commented that it looked like a unicorn had thrown up in the apartment. She had prepared all of Hannah's favorite foods plus some adult items. The door swung open and in walked her brother and Rachel holding hands and seeming very close. Rachel had Emma on her hip, and she set her down she toddled over to where Hannah was playing with toys on a blanket.

"You two. Are you guys together? You seem like you just..." Chandler began.

"You guys are having sex." Monica exclaimed.

The new couple smiled at them and then at each other, and in unison answered, "We're together."

Monica and Chandler exploded into a loud, joyous noise and there were hugs all around. Phoebe and Mike soon join in as well as Joey.

"I couldn't have asked for a better gift for Hannah's birthday."

Rachel in her heart of hearts was happy but she was still mourning her father's death. She felt like she had so much left unsaid and was trying to navigate the grief process. It was the moment when the family learned about the second massive heart attack that death the fatal blow that she knew she needed to tell Ross how she felt and really give them a chance. Life was fleeting! Before Mark and Chloe all those years ago, she had imagined a life with Ross. Emma was a big surprise, but she learned that she could step into the role of motherhood. This gave her the confidence to go after the sector leader job at work, she was now Zelner's boss. It felt really empowering. Tears welled in her eyes when she thought about the fact that she would never tell her dad. Emma's crying brought her back to the present, Ross had picked her up, but Emma cried out for "Mommy". She had fallen and really only startled herself, but Rachel was so willing to hug her. Emma laid her little head on Rachel's shoulder and sighed deeply. She couldn't believe her little baby would be two in a couple months and that Emma's Poppy was gone. Rachel's grief was like waves hitting the shore, but she kissed Emma's head and headed toward the rest of the group to celebrate Hannah.

In early April, Rachel began to feel some familiar symptoms: aversion to chicken, tired, nauseous and sore. She couldn't contain her excitement and wanted to tell Ross right away. This time it would be so different from the last. Rachel had moved into Ross's apartment that was formerly owned by Ugly Naked Guy. But the couple was considering moving to a bigger place in Brooklyn near a great school. It would be outside the city but connected enough to get to work or other events without too much effort. It felt like they were on the same page and really building a life together. Now Emma would be a big sister and this baby would be a big rainbow after the loss of her father.

"Ross" Rachel exclaimed as she bounced through the door, "Guess What?"

Ross was sitting with Emma in his lap reading a chunky cardboard book about colors and she was laughing at yellow because her latest thing was finding bananas hilarious.

"Hey Rach" Ross smiled, "I just can't enough of this little one's laugh."

"Well, you should get ready for more laughter because Emma's going to be a big sister." Rachel blurted out. She had wanted to be more eloquent, but she couldn't contain her excitement. This was the happiest she had felt since losing her father a couple months before. This baby was a gift and she put all her focus onto the joy of this situation. Emma laughed because she felt the excitement of her parents. Then she stood up on the couch cushion and began to jump. Ross turned to Emma and said, "You're going to be a big sister, Emma!"