When they walk through the doors it's as if there's an assault on all of Olivia's senses.
The whole club is a smoky haze, cigarettes lit up around every corner and on top of smelling like smoke, it also smells of cheap liquor that's been spilled on the floor. The music was blaring, but at least Olivia could make out that they were playing 'You Spin Me Round', which her daughters had constantly played on repeat just the year before.
There's a grin on Tiago's face about a mile wide, and she can't help but feel a bit of secondhand excitement, even though she feels totally out of place. For what it's worth the club is mostly full of young people, but she does spot a few older patrons among the crowds. Maybe she isn't as much of a sore thumb as she thought she'd be.
Tiago practically drags her to the bar and orders two gin and tonics.
"You don't even know if I like those!" Olivia said, swatting at his shoulder playfully, feeling a little emboldened by their surroundings.
"A lady like you will drink anything." Tiago says, just in time for their drinks to be set in front of them.
"What the hell does that mean?" she says indignantly.
"Oh, you just seem very adventurous and a gin and tonic is quite mundane. I figured I couldn't go wrong."
She rolls her eyes as she turns to watch the dance floor. It seems so alive with so many people dancing on it. There are pink and purple spotlights blinking all around the room, illuminating the faces of the dancers. Some are lost in the movement of their bodies, others are laughing and talking. If she didn't feel so self-conscious, and was perhaps even just ten years younger, maybe she would have given in and took to the floor for a dance or two. They sit in comfortable silence at the bar for a while, and even order another round of drinks. Tiago kept eyeing the dance floor but made no attempt to go out on it.
As she's watching all the action of the club she feels a bump on her back and tries to move herself away from the imposing feeling. When she turns back there is a man trying to pull out the barstool next to her. He's older, perhaps nearing seventy, with a shock of white hair and features that didn't look quite Cantonese, perhaps something else? Olivia figured maybe he was a defector from the north of China but didn't think too much of it. Instead, she was distracted by his garish outfit, which consisted of a red suit jacket covered in gold paisley emblems, tight white trousers and red suede loafers. She could imagine Tiago wearing such a hideous outfit when he's that age. The old man also stinks of a cologne that smells even worse than Drakkar Noir, and she didn't think that was possible.
"I'm sorry." she says to him, moving out of his way so he can sit down.
"No need. I came here to talk to you anyway." he says in an incredibly thick accent.
"Excuse me?" Olivia says, both because his accent makes it difficult to understand him and also because she wants to be sure she heard what he just said.
"Can I buy you a drink?" he asks, "For when you finish that one."
"Erm." Olivia pauses, "No thank you."
She turns back to Tiago but feels a poke on her shoulder.
"Would you like to dance then?" the man asks her, "I might be older but I can keep up with these kids."
Yeah, apparently you share this generation's horrible fashion sense, she thinks, but politely smiles anyway.
"No thank you, sir."
She tries to turn away again but he just keeps talking, "Are you sure? I thought all British ladies loved dancing. You know, I own a few businesses and even tried to open a club just like this one. In fact I just opened another business in the Philippines, it's just starting to –"
Olivia just stares at him as he's talking and zones out, unable to hear half of what he's saying due to the loud music, his thick accent, and her general surprise that she's being hit on in a nightclub. It was certainly not something she foresaw happening on a work trip.
"So what do you say?" the old man says, and Olivia is snapped from her thoughts, "Do you want to come with me to Cebu? I can put you up in a nice room. Lots of drinks, lots of dancing!"
"Erm?" Olivia can only stare at him with her jaw slightly agape, still processing the situation.
"You'll love it! The water is clear, there's snorkeling, there's-"
Tiago cuts the man off, "Excuse me, sir, but my mother is still a grieving widow. She's not ready for offers such as yours, isn't that right, Mum?" he says, placing a hand on her shoulder and trying to spin her back towards him.
The old man glowers at Tiago, "She can tell me that herself."
"She's clearly not interested, what don't you understand?" Tiago says, raising his voice and putting Olivia on edge.
Before the old man can say anything else Olivia stands up, "Thank you, sir, but I will not be joining you either on the dance floor or any trips." she picks up her drink and motions to Tiago, "Let's get a table, shall we?"
The old man looked so crestfallen, but he let them walk away without getting a last word in. They found an empty table on the edge of the dance floor and sat down, Tiago finally letting out a laugh.
"I guess you already found an admirer?" he chuckles.
"Ugh. As if I'd be interested in a man with such a poor eye for fashion." she smiles at Tiago, "Thank you for defending me."
"Of course. You looked very uncomfortable." he says and takes a sip of his drink, "So, would you want to come dance with me?"
"I told you no dancing." she said, "That was the compromise, remember? You can go dance if you want to. Have fun."
He shrugs, "Eh. It's no fun when there's no one to dance with."
Perhaps five minutes pass and Tiago gets his wish. Two young women are making way over to the table, both gorgeous and young; one has long black hair flowing to her mid-back, and the other has hair shorter than Olivia's, shaved into a fashionable cut that shows off her ears and the many piercings up her cartilage. They're both looking at Tiago, and Olivia can recognize that look from anywhere.
"Looks like you have some admirers too." she says, and this time she's the one to grin because she can see Tiago's eyes go wide.
"Do you want to dance?" the one with long hair asks him, and it's obvious she's a bit drunk even despite her accent.
Tiago looks at Olivia, asking for approval with his eyes.
"Go." Olivia tells him, "Dance. Have fun." and she means it.
Soon the girls are pulling him out of his chair, each girl grabbing an arm, practically dragging him out to the dance floor. Olivia watches as they start to dance, and she doesn't think she's ever seen Tiago look so happy. For a moment she is content just to watch him, feeling strangely delighted to see the joy on his face. She isn't surprised to see that he's also a good dancer, and he moved so fluidly to every song change.
She watches him dance through a few upbeat songs until one a bit slower and more sensual comes on. He doesn't miss a beat with the movement of his body, and the girls he's dancing with seem entranced by him. She knows that look they're giving him, the look she used to give young men when she desired them, when she too was as young as those girls. The one with short hair runs a hand over Tiago's exposed bicep and laughs, saying something to him in his ear that makes Tiago laugh too. He bites his lip flirtatiously and looks her up and down before putting his hands on her waist and swinging her around. All three of them are laughing now, having a grand old time on the dance floor, totally oblivious to the crowd around them.
It's then that a dagger of jealousy shoots through her. She could remember being that age, taking on lovers and being so carefree in the years before she met Matthew. Despite trying to swallow her feelings down she couldn't stop the invasive thoughts. She envisioned the younger version of herself out on the dance floor instead of those girls - that it was her being twirled around by Tiago, looking up at him as he put his hands all over her. Feeling desire welling in her belly she picked up her gin and tonic and took a big swig, trying to force the images of his body pressed against hers from her brain. Staring into her half drank glass she stirred her ice around with her straw, trying to think instead about Matthew at home, and how surprised he would be that she was even in such a place. She really needed to call him.
When the song came to an end she looked back towards the dance floor to try and spot Tiago, and surprisingly their eyes meet. He nods at her and turns back to the girls, telling them something that causes their faces to drop. He gives them both a hug though, before he runs off the dance floor, headed right for Olivia's table.
"Doing alright?" he asks, as he sits down across from her.
"Just fine. You didn't have to stop dancing, you know."
"Oh, I know, I was just worried you weren't having a good time. Are you sure you don't want to dance?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, I'm sure. I would look so foolish, someone of my age out there with all those kids."
"Don't say that!" he laughs, "Dancing is for everyone. I mean that old guy wanted to dance, didn't he? Anyway, are you ready to head back to the hotel when you finish that drink?"
Olivia quickly drinks the rest of it, wanting to get away from the booming bass which was starting to give her a headache.
"Yes, let's go."
They make their way out of the smoky club, and it's beyond refreshing for Olivia to finally get outside, even if the air is muggy and humid.
"Thank you for coming," Tiago says, "even though you didn't really like it."
"No problem. I needed to go out for a bit, anyway. It's nice to get out of my comfort zone sometimes and seeing you happy made it worth it."
Tiago nods. As they get a few blocks from the club he puts his arm around her shoulders, and almost makes her jump from how much the act startles her.
"Tiago?" she asks, "Are you alright?"
"Perfectly." he says and smiles down at her.
She wants to tell him to get his arm off her, but she likes the sensation of it. She just prays no one they know sees them like this. They walked in silence from that point back to the hotel, and Olivia found herself wishing to slow down time, just so she could feel his strong arm around her a little longer. He did drop his arm once they reached the front doors of their hotel, and Olivia tried not to let her disappointment show.
They went up to the 17th floor once again and stumbled back to her room. She didn't bother to ask him to go back to his own room, she knew that was a totally moot point now.
She left Tiago in the living room while she went to take her makeup off. She hated what she saw in the mirror. Her mascara was smudged and stained all over her undereye, causing her to curse. She looked at her tight black clothes and frowned. You look like a whore, she thinks, what is wrong with you?
Slowly she walked out of the bathroom, about to tell Tiago that she was turning in for the night, only to find him nearly naked on the sofa. There he sat in only his black boxers, staring almost expectantly at her.
"Tiago?" she said, "I'm going to bed. I suggest you get some pajamas on and do the same…" it was too late at night and she was too tired to really question his actions or argue with him at this point.
She went to turn and leave, but he called out.
"Olivia?"
Her breath caught in her throat.
She turned back to look at him, "You don't have the authority to call me that."
She tried to make herself sound authoritative, rather than reveal the jolt of lust that ran through her as he said her name. Tiago stands, and she tries not to rake her eyes over his body. She fails. Her eyes settle on his long, powerful thighs and she wonders what it must be like to grip them. He walks towards her slowly and she doesn't back away. He puts his hands on her upper arms, careful to be gentle with her stitches, and stares down at her. His eyes are heavy lidded with desire.
"Olivia." he says again, surer this time, without a hint of hesitation.
She doesn't bother to correct him.
A moment passes between them where they just stare at each other. Olivia can't muster up the courage to make a move, one way or another. Half of her wants to run, and the other half wants to reach out and touch him.
He lowers his head and brushes his lips against hers, so lightly she barely feels it. She wants to pull back but finds that she can't. Against her better judgment she moves up to reach him, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. She catches his lower lip between her own lips, instinctively running her tongue against him. He tastes like gin and tonic.
He takes that as a sign to continue and before she knows it his tongue is pressed against her teeth and he's devouring her mouth. She can hardly breathe.
Suddenly the reality of the situation comes rushing back to her. She puts her hands on his chest and pushes him away. He frowns, looking so confused, as she keeps him at an arm's distance.
"Tiago!" she says, "We can't be doing this."
He shakes his head, "I see the way you look at me, Olivia."
"Stop calling me that!" she shouts, "You know we can't be doing this, for so many reasons. Why didn't you just leave with those girls if you're so hot and bothered?"
"Because neither of them are you." he says softly before smiling seductively, "I've been wondering what it would be like to kiss you for months."
"No, no." she says, now trying to back away, "Tiago, stop lying, I'm old enough to be your mother and I'm a married woman, not to mention being your employer as well! You know we can't do this."
He advances towards her again, this time he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close. She chokes out a cry, both of frustration and desire, hating her body for betraying her. Her heart is beating a mile a minute, and she can feel the coils of her core tightening as she feels his hard body against her.
"No one needs to know." he whispers, "Look how far we are from home. I can make you feel good, Olivia, a woman like you deserves it."
Unbidden she lets out a moan, and she hates the smirk on his face that it causes.
"Tiago, please." she whimpers, sounding so pathetic and lost, "We shouldn't do this. We don't have to do this. If I gave you the wrong impression… If you don't want to… it's wrong, you're so young and I'm-"
"Shh." he says, taking one hand to cup her face, "I want you, Olivia, and I know you feel the same."
"That's not possible. You're lying." she says, shuddering at the touch of his hand against her face.
Olivia closes her eyes, not wanting to make a single move. His lips meet hers again and she can't help but give in, letting their tongues dance, involuntarily running her hands over his ribcage as he holds her.
Before she knows it they make their way to the bedroom, and both of them try to remove her dress and tights as quickly as possible. Once they're shed he grabs her roughly, kissing her once more while running his hands over the lacy fabric of her undergarments. As she fumbles with her bra she can feel him kneel down and drag his mouth against the skin of her hip, grabbing her knickers with nothing but his teeth and pulling them down her thighs. She can't stifle the moan that escapes her and he looks up at her with a playful smile.
Once all her clothes are off he stops for a moment to just gaze upon her form, licking his lips in anticipation. Olivia can't remember the last time a man has looked at her like this, with reverence and lust, just wallowing in the heat of desire. She's suddenly aware of the thick, ugly scar on her hip and the long jagged line that cuts down her abdomen from her two caesarean sections. She tries to move her hands over her disfigured midsection, but he moves them away, placing kisses all over the skin of her belly.
He pulls off his boxers as he stands to his feet, pushing her on the bed and covering her with his body while trailing his lips against her collarbone. Olivia pulls him closer and runs her hands through his thick dark hair. She kisses him with wild abandon and arches against him.
She feels like she is sixteen again.
They taste and touch and enjoy each other for what seems like hours. She loses herself in him, moaning against his flesh as he moves inside her. He lets out all sorts of Spanish obscenities in between their kisses, and sighs in bliss whenever she lays her hands on him.
Eventually exhaustion sets in and they collapse into a tangled mess of sweaty flesh. Both fall quickly into a deep sleep as they listen to the sound of each other's breaths and heartbeats.
In the morning her eyes flutter open to the sound of someone fumbling with the coffeepot. She rubs her eyes and thinks of Tiago, missing his body lying next to her. It's then that the memories of the prior night flood her mind, causing her to blush over her entire body. The aching between her legs proves that it was real, since it feels even more tender there than her stitched up arm does.
He's all smiles and in a clearly jovial mood when he joins her in the bedroom again, wearing only a bathrobe.
"Good morning, darling. I figured you'd like some coffee?"
"Sure." she says and looks at the clock. They're expected at noon today, and it's still only 8 AM.
He slinks back into the bed and slides up to face her, giving her a tiny kiss on the lips.
"Did you have fun last night?" he asks, grinning devilishly.
Olivia can feel herself blush again and looks away in embarrassment. Fun was an understatement. Rejuvenating sounded better.
"Tiago, don't let this go to your ego." is all she can think to say.
"Ah? Mommy is afraid to admit she had a good time with me?"
Olivia cringes, "I told you to stop calling me that. It's especially disgusting now."
Tiago laughs and wraps his arms around her, drawing her in close and kissing the top of her head, "Oh, little mother, you know I don't mean anything by it."
She wants to resist his touch and argue with him more but instead she feels herself unintentionally melt against him. She can feel desire swell in her lower belly once again, and as much as she tries to will it away it takes hold and lingers. As if sensing her sudden change in mood, Tiago pulls her down so she is on top of him and he is lying with his back against the mattress. She gasps at the sudden movement, clutching on to his shoulders to steady herself.
He positions her so she's straddling him, and he bucks his hips upwards. "Perhaps you'd like to have more fun?" he says suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows in an attempt to be humorous at the same time.
"Oh, Tiago," she says admonishingly, but it quickly turns to lust as he clumsily pulls open his bathrobe and she can feel his hardness against her – "Oh, Tiago!"
Within seconds he's inside of her again, and after only a few thrusts of his hips she feels like she will come undone once more. He pulls her to him and kisses her fiercely, before flipping her over once again and slamming himself into her. She wants to scream at the sensation of it; she hasn't been fucked this deep or hard in years. Instead she muffles her cries against his shoulder, and he finishes inside her with a groan. He slides out and slumps down next to her, a thin sheen of sweat covering him which makes his skin stick to hers. As they're both catching their breaths, Tiago looks at her and runs his finger over her cheekbone.
"Olivia, are you crying? What's wrong?"
She brings her hand up to her face to feel the wetness there.
"So I am." she says.
"Did you not like it?" he asks, concern written on his face.
She laughs, "No, it was great, Tiago. This has been known to happen to me sometimes when it's – too intense."
"Did I hurt you?" he asked.
"Well, maybe a little bit. But it's a good kind of hurt."
He didn't seem to like this answer, but he bent down and kissed her cheeks, sweeping away the salt from her skin. "Don't cry," he said, running his hands down her body, "Only happiness, okay? I don't like to see you hurt."
She ran her hands lazily through his hair, savoring the feel of his skin against her. "You're a good man, Mr. Rodriguez."
"Oh?"
Olivia decided not to elaborate. Instead she sat up, pulling him with her, "How about coffee, hmm? Then I really must be getting ready for the day."
She stands up, suddenly feeling self-conscious about her naked body on display. Having him see her in the light of day totally unclothed seems so improper, even though he had seen all of her last night. He doesn't bat an eye or seem to mind her nudity when he follows her to the living room, shucking off his own useless robe.
"Would you like to join me in the shower?" he asks, pouring himself a cup of coffee.
"I – well – I suppose I will." she shrugs.
He downs most of his coffee in one gulp and slams the styrofoam onto the table, "Good. I'll be waiting for you." and with that he heads towards the bathroom.
Olivia watches as he goes, admiring the muscles of his back flex and letting herself take in the view of his tight bum. She feels ashamed, as if she is ogling this young man for her own perverse pleasure. She almost feels relief when he makes it into the shower, closing the frosted glass door behind him.
The sound of water spraying from the shower head fills her ears and soon enough it's joined by him humming along to some tune she can't make out. She rubs her temples, What are you doing? she thinks, Why did you let this happen?
For a few minutes she sits alone. She sips her coffee and imagines if she was back at home, with Matthew across from her instead of Tiago mere meters away in the shower. She thinks about Matthew's kind, grey eyes and his warm smile. She does miss him and wishes she could tell him all about what's happened – and then she remembers the reality. Her stomach begins to twist in knots, and suddenly she's acutely aware of Tiago's seed inside her. What if the tests had missed something, perhaps he had a subclinical disease? How would she ever explain it to Matthew? That wasn't even the only issue. Her menses only visited her once in a blue moon these days, but it did still come occasionally. She wasn't out of the woods there; aside from being absolutely mortifying, a pregnancy at her age could truly kill her.
Olivia cursed herself, Ridiculous! You're 51 years old, these should not be your problems!
Not to mention it had been months since she'd been intimate with Matthew to begin with. Their encounters had dwindled over the years, as they often do in long term relationships, but she couldn't even remember the last time they'd made love at all. She felt shame burning in her chest. What have I done?
"Olivia?" she heard him call from the shower, "Are you coming?"
It felt so strange for her subordinate to be constantly calling her by her first name, let alone all the Mommy stuff he was constantly spouting. Finding her courage she went to join him, letting herself into the steamy shower and being confronted by his soapy body. He smiled down at her. She was still so surprised by how much taller he was than her despite his young age.
"Who are we meeting with today?" he asked, as he rinsed the suds from his hair.
"Mr. Zhao. We're going to fill out some paperwork and start your case file here at Station H. He's going to get you squared away with security here as well, so that once you're officially transferred it will be a smooth transition."
"I see." Tiago said, soaping up his hands before he began to rub her down, "Here, let me help you."
"Oh please!" she said, trying to stifle a giggle from his ticklish touch, "I'm a grown lady, and far older than you, young man. I can do this part myself. Plus you have to be careful with my arm, it's not supposed to get totally soaked."
Tiago shook his head, "Let me help anyway!"
He squeezed a handful of shampoo into his palm and took it to her head, rubbing his hands in her short hair, his fingers massaging her scalp.
"Isn't that nice?" he asked, a little grin on his face as always.
She couldn't deny that it did. She let him pamper her for a bit while she let her mind wander away from all the tasks at hand. For a little while it was just her and him, and she let the steamy water wash all her convictions away.
The day at the office was going well enough. Mr. Zhao took Tiago around to all the checkpoints and introduced him to the security guards. Olivia followed behind them, pretending to be interested in their tasks. They'd got Tiago an ID badge listing Station H as his primary office, even though he wasn't completely transferred yet, and even set up a desk for him to use once he was re-assigned. It was outfitted with a top-of-the-line new computer, free for him to use whenever he wanted. Olivia could tell Mr. Zhao was beginning to warm up to Tiago, and he even complimented Tiago on valiantly protecting M during the Macau incident.
Despite this, Olivia had found her mind wandering as Tiago and Zhao spoke. On the outside she was the same cool and collected M as always, but in her mind she was flip-flopping between euphoria and panic. She couldn't stop herself from remembering the night before, from seeing his naked form in her memory and wishing to run her hands all over him again. She also couldn't stop the guilt that ate at her after every illicit image popped into her brain. He's just a boy, he's your subordinate, and you're probably going to watch him die in this line of work. Her heart ached as she imagined herself writing his obituary.
She briefly wondered if men would feel this shame when in the same position. Did any of the men who came before her, those who also called themselves M, had they also bedded their agents? There were always beautiful young girls to choose from, field agents trained in the methods of seduction and charm - surely someone before her had taken advantage of their position. But I didn't 'take advantage' of my position, she thinks, Tiago came on to me.
Before she can ponder further, her thoughts are interrupted.
"What do you think of that, ma'am?" Mr. Zhao asks her.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear," she mumbles, so unprofessional and unlike herself, "Can you repeat that?"
"I was just telling Mr. Rodriguez that I'm looking forward to him joining us here. He's all set up to begin work as soon as you approve it. I know you must get some prerequisites out of the way back in the UK, though."
Olivia clears her throat, "Yes, that would be great. He just has to pass one last mental evaluation back in London before we can station him permanently. It shouldn't take that long once we're back."
Mr. Zhao smiles broadly and reaches out to shake Tiago's hand, "Welcome to Hong Kong – officially." he says.
Olivia realizes she should be overjoyed. Her problem child is being re-assigned. He'll be a thirteen-hour flight away from her, and her office, and all of the other agents he's slept with. He'll be out of sight, and out of mind. Her heart drops a bit. He will be gone.
They leave the office and walk out into the heat. Tiago is speaking but Olivia can't hear any of it. Her mind is racing still. Eventually she silences him.
"Tiago? Let's just to back to the hotel."