A/N: *TRIGGER WARNING* for this chapter. If you're sensitive to pregnancy loss please refrain from reading the last section of this chapter. Thanks.

It's only two weeks after they've returned to London when one of the resident psychologists drops off a piece of paper at her desk.

"It's about Mr. Rodriguez." he says as he hands it to her, "He's cleared."

Olivia let her eyes drift over the text, her fingers trembling slightly.

Subject is not currently in a depressive episode and is cleared for field work, as well as transfer to Station H.

This was it. She had only seen Tiago briefly twice, always from a distance, and hadn't spoken to him at all since their return. She heard nothing but good things about him in those two weeks, that he was keeping low and doing his work, and she certainly hadn't heard about him having any more indecent relations with colleagues.

Olivia let her eyes drift over the paper a few more times. As soon as she supposed that she should send out security to bring him to her, a knock at her door startled her.

"Come in." she called.

It was a surprise to see Claire Porter come through the door. Instead of wearing her usual training tracksuit she was in a pencil skirt and a white button up shirt, with her auburn hair pulled into a loose bun and a face full of makeup. Truly she looked stunning, and Olivia could see why Tiago had taken an interest in her to begin with.

"Ms. Porter? How can I help you today?"

Claire sat down across from her and seemed a bit nervous, but she cleared her throat and began, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I was told I should speak to you. I'm just a little confused as to why I was declined for field duty? I'm sure my marksmanship scores came back perfect so I just don't really understand-" she said, a note of uncertainty in her voice.

"Ah. That's right, I was told about your case. Just a moment, I know I have your file around here somewhere." Olivia quickly put Tiago's release form face-down on her desk and rooted through her files until she came to Claire's information.

She briefly read over the paperwork there, "Well, Claire, you've met most of your milestones with the exception of your physical evaluation. This says you need to build more upper body strength before you can be cleared for field duty."

Claire cast her eyes down, "I see."

"It's not a huge problem. I know the standards here are geared towards men, and it can be very difficult for women such as ourselves to get to their level when it comes to upper body strength. It's not a failure, just something you're going to have to work harder at. We can get you there with a little more training. Perhaps in a few months' time you'll be cleared?" Olivia told her gently, hoping to cheer her up a bit.

"Understood, ma'am."

"Really, it's nothing to get worked up over. It's just a little detour in what's going to be a long career, I'm sure."

Claire nodded, "I know. It's just very discouraging."

"There's going to be a lot of discouraging moments with this association," Olivia countered, "Especially as a woman. Don't take it personally. I'll even enroll you in additional training exercises if you'd like. On that note, is there anything else I can help you with?"

Claire bit her lip as if she wasn't sure she wanted to speak, but she eventually asked anyway, "Is the rumor true that you're sending Tiago to Hong Kong?"

"Tiago? Well – yes – that was the plan."

"I see. I was just wondering if it was true. That's all.." she said, trailing off, a wistful look in her eyes.

Good Lord, she's still in love with him, Olivia thought.

"He hasn't approached you since he's been back, has he?"

"No, ma'am. Not at all. It's clear he wants nothing to do with me." she sighed.

"Good. I told him to leave you alone, so I'm glad to hear he's not harassing you."

"I know and thank you for that. I just wish I could get an apology from him – maybe just speak to him one last time." Claire said, averting her eyes.

Olivia could only stare at Claire while trying to keep a straight face. The poor girl across from her had no idea that her boss had now experienced her former lover in almost every known sexual position. Seeing how smitten Claire still was with him only sent a stabbing jolt of guilt through Olivia's chest.

"We don't always get closure in life." Olivia told her, "Consider the situation with Mr. Rodriguez a lesson in that regard."

Claire nodded again, putting her hands on her knees and pushing herself up to stand, "That's about all I was concerned with, ma'am. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me."

"Any time, and feel free to reach out if you have any further issues." Olivia told her as she left, sighing in relief once she was gone.

She picked up Tiago's form again and ran her eyes over it a dozen more times. She wasn't sure what she was waiting for, or why she kept reading the same words over and over. Eventually she called in security and asked them to bring Tiago to her, and the forty-five minutes that elapsed between her command and the moment Tiago walked through her office door seemed to go on forever.

He sat down across from her and waited until the guards were gone to say anything.

"And here I thought you were avoiding me, ma'am." he said with a devilish smile.

"Mr. Rodriguez." she said, sliding the piece of paper towards him, "It seems like you're cleared for field duty and an international transfer. Apparently, they already have a mostly furnished flat ready for you, and Mr. Zhao is currently finalizing your travel arrangements. You should leave sometime at the end of next week."

Tiago picked up the paper and eyed it, "I didn't need a piece of paper to tell me that, but alright." he said and handed it back to her.

"I trust you'll make arrangements with your current landlord in time?"

She knew that Tiago was living in a flat he rented himself, not one given to him by MI6. It turned out he'd moved there when his grandmother died with the small inheritance she had left him, but that money was running out so actually this transfer was quite a boon for him in the end.

"I'll see what I can do. Not that it matters. I can get evicted for all I care at this point." he said somewhat flatly.

"Yes. Well, consider yourself off duty for the rest of today and tomorrow. It should give you some time to pack and wrap up any loose ends you have in London, does that sound like a plan to you?"

"Yes, ma'am." he said, and shifted his eyes around, as if looking for something.

"Is everything alright, Mr. Rodriguez?"

"Oh, yes, I was just wondering if.. I just thought maybe you could help me attend to some matters before I left?"

Olivia raised her eyebrows at him, "Such as what? Helping you pack?"

He smiled again, "Yes. Pack. I need someone to help me pack."

It was clear as day what he actually meant.

"Perhaps on Friday night I can stop by and help gather up your belongings." she told him, knowing full well no packing was likely to take place, "Does that sound good to you?"

"Perfect!" he told her, a little too eagerly, "Do you need my address?"

"It's in your file so I can just look it up but thank you Mr. Rodriguez. Friday, alright?"

He nodded vigorously, trying to hold back a huge grin.

"You're excused." she said bluntly, turning away as he stood and left her office. She was already busy trying to figure out what excuse she would give Matthew for arriving home so late.

Tiago's flat was very tiny and very obviously belonged to a bachelor. Olivia stood dumbly in the living room after he let her in, clutching her pocketbook and feeling completely out of place.

Most of his belongings were in suitcases and cardboard boxes, but a few books remained on his bookshelf along with a framed picture of a somewhat faded polaroid. Olivia picked it up and squinted to make it out, but it was obviously Tiago as a young teenager standing on a beach with an older woman who obviously shared the same eyes as him.

"Is this your grandmother?" she asked, placing it back down.

"Yes, my Abuela. It's only one of a few pictures I have of her. Speaking of which –" he picked the picture off the shelf and threw it in a half full box, "I'll do the books later I guess. Would you like a drink?"

"I suppose." she said, putting her purse down on a nearby chair and following him to his tiny kitchen. When he opened his refrigerator there were only a few green tinted bottles of Heineken and a half drank liter of imported Italian mineral water. Aside from that there were some condiment bottles and a sad looking head of wilted lettuce, but nothing more. She wondered what exactly he was eating to sustain himself.

"Just give me a beer." she told him, and as he handed it over he caressed her fingers with his own.

"How have you been?" he asked, closing the distance between them and giving her a peck on the lips.

"Fine." she said once he pulled away.

"Come, sit down with me." he said and pulled her towards his sofa, which was brown and shabby and looked like a holdover from the early 70's. She sat down awkwardly, and Tiago flopped down next to her, throwing his arm around her shoulders casually.

"As you can see, I'm mostly packed." he said, leaning forward towards her and placing another small kiss on her jaw, "I wish you were coming with me this time."

"I know." she said as she looked around his flat. It was so unlike her own, which was lavishly furnished with high ceilings and granite counter tops. This place was small and cramped and clearly the kind of place a kid lived in as their first foray into adulthood. She imagined the kind of guests he invited over, people his own age who understood all the silly new trends and listened to the same popular music. Her mind began to drift to strange places, and she imagined both Claire and Peter sitting on this exact same sofa, with Tiago touching them the same way he was touching her now.

You shouldn't be here, she thought, this is too inappropriate.

"I spoke with Claire today." she blurted out, and then took a big sip of her beer while trying to force images of Tiago kissing the girl out of her mind.

"Oh? Yeah, I heard she was not cleared for field duty yet. Through the grapevine, of course. It's not like she told me herself."

"She's still not over you." Olivia told him, unsure if he heard the envious note in her voice.

Tiago squinted at her, "That's unfortunate." he said dully with a shrug before tightening his hold on her shoulders and moving down to kiss her neck.

She suddenly felt a strange repulsion from his touch as she imagined his hands all over Claire, but instead of pulling away she spat out, "It's good to know you don't care about anything other than getting a quick fuck, then."

It was him who pulled away then, "What?" he said, frowning at her, "What happened with Claire was… why are you bringing this up?" he asked.

"Today she sat in my office and brought up your name again. What exactly did you do to that girl to make her so enamored with you?"

"What did I do to her? I didn't do anything to her!" he said, raising his voice, "She was the one who started talking to me, and she was the one who suggested that we should start seeing each other. She's just upset that I ended things, it must have been a hit to her pride."

"Is there something you aren't telling me about your relationship with her?" Olivia asked.

"Something I'm not – what? What's there to tell? We went on a few dates and shagged a few times, that's it. I wasn't even that interested in her. She's boring and vapid, there isn't much beyond her looks if you ask me. Honestly, I'm not even sure why you hired her."

"Tiago!" Olivia nearly yelled, "That's no way to speak about her. She's a lot more valuable than you realize."

"Is that so?" he said, rolling his eyes, "Valuable, huh? If I didn't know any better I would say you sound quite jealous right now. Is that it?"

Olivia didn't say anything, she just averted her gaze from his eyes because he was right.

"Oh please. Don't be jealous. She's a nice enough girl but she bores me to tears. When we fucked she would just lay there like a cold fish – it was like fucking a dead body! And considering how much trouble she's caused me I really wish I hadn't taken her up on her offer at all. I mean really, she didn't have to drag me through the mud just because I was done with her."

"Tiago, don't blame this on her, it takes two to-"

"Well, I do blame it on her! She's the one who ran off to tell you we'd fucked, which was no one else's business." he said, and as Olivia tried to interject he just kept going, "I don't see you punishing her when she broke the same bloody rule that I did? You said it yourself, it takes two. But it's me you chose to punish. It's me you're sending away, not her."

"I had to make a decision." Olivia told him coldly, "It seemed like it was you who initiated these relationships and-"

"And what? You sided with her without any proof? Did you ever think of getting the other side of the story? Maybe you should have questioned whether she's a right fit for her position if she spends so much time weeping over someone who doesn't want her anymore and tattling rather than pulling herself together, hmm?" he sneered.

Olivia wanted to say something but couldn't find the words.

"So don't sit there and act like you have a right to be jealous when it's me who should be the jealous one. You get to go home to your husband every night and I'm all alone! I was just starting to make friends in this city and then you go and send me away? You have a family, Olivia. I have nobody. All I have is you and MI6. That's it."

They looked at each other for a few moments as an uncomfortable silence settled between them.

"I should go." Olivia muttered, standing from the couch.

"No, wait! Please don't go, not yet." Tiago said, reaching up to grab her elbow, "I just wanted you to understand where I'm coming from. Please don't leave yet."

Olivia looked down at him as he pleaded with her, and against her better judgment sat back down next to him.

You need to leave, she thought, Leave now!

"Please don't," he muttered, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his lips against hers, "Just stay a little bit longer."

She couldn't help the effect he had on her, and she gave in to his kiss, grabbing on to him and running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. She had missed the taste of him and the feeling of his warm flesh, and she tried to gorge herself on these sensations before she knew that he would be gone. They stayed like that for some time, just holding one another as if there was nothing else in the world.

"Come with me." he whispered in her ear, pulling her with him, and she could tell he was easing her towards his bedroom.

Once again images of Claire and Peter in his bed crossed her mind, and suddenly she felt the bile rise in her stomach.

"I can't." she said, pushing him away, "I can't. I shouldn't be here. We can't continue this – not here – not in London. If anyone found out I was here..." she trailed off, "I have to go. I just came to say goodbye."

He opened his mouth to speak but Olivia stopped him.

"Please don't say anything else, it will just make this harder. Good luck in Hong Kong." she said quickly, jumping to her feet and grabbing her purse. As she reached for the door handle she turned around and gave him one last look, but he was just staring at her with a blank look on his face.

"Goodbye, Tiago." she said, and left his flat as quickly as possible.

On the train ride home she rested her head against the cool glass of the window, watching the lamps in the underground tunnels buzz by at lightning speed. She hoped her makeup wasn't smudged and that Matthew wouldn't ask too many questions when she arrived; a nausea still lingered in the pit of her stomach and she dreaded having to pretend she was hungry for whatever he'd cooked up. Her mind wandered back to Tiago, as it often did these days, and she considered what he had told her. Maybe he was right, maybe this was completely unfair to him. She wondered what her own punishment would be should anyone find out about her indiscretions. It didn't matter, she felt like she was being punished enough as it was.

It was only another week and a half until Tiago was shipped away, and she prayed she wouldn't see him around the office in the meantime.

Tiago had left for Hong Kong without much fanfare. Luckily for Olivia, she had not seen him even once in the days leading up to his departure. She'd received a call from Mr. Zhao that Tiago had made it there safely and was placed in his new flat. Then she had received another call about a week later updating her on all the issues at Station H, and Mr. Zhao had told her that Tiago was adjusting well to his new position; he was nothing but professional and competent with the tasks he'd been given.

Somehow this crazy idea had worked in her favor. With him gone she could focus on other things, and while her mind often drifted back to him, he wasn't physically there to tempt her or irritate her. It was great to have him out of sight, even if he wasn't totally out of mind.

The days went on. It was quiet in London and similarly quiet in MI6 headquarters as the heat and humidity of late summer set in. Olivia found herself often uncomfortable, exhausted to the point of nearly falling asleep at her desk and chronically nauseous for no apparent reason. She assumed it was just the weather making her feel this way. She thought it was odd when she'd cringed at the taste of her favorite brandy, as if it was suddenly the most rancid thing she'd ever put in her mouth. Despite this she summed it up to changing tastes, maybe it just wasn't her favorite anymore.

It's six weeks after her return from Hong Kong when her monthly comes on suddenly, the bright red blood staining her white bedsheets in the middle of the night. The pain is almost unbearable at first, and even though it's been some time since her last period she could not remember them being this painful. She ignores the intense burning in her lower back and chooses to try and get on with her day once the morning breaks. Sitting at her desk proves to be torture, so she leaves work early. She takes off the next few days as well.

When the bleeding threatens to go on for too long she considers seeing a doctor, but it suddenly stops a week and a half later. Once she accepts the reality of what's happened, she's mostly relieved, but there is also a small part of her that is devastated. For a few weeks she wallows in a grief that she can't show to anyone, so she distances herself from Matthew as much as possible and busies herself at work while fighting back tears. She tells herself it's just hormones, and she's half right.

Her period never comes again after that, and she enters the next phase of her life. At least she is truly so grateful that there will be no more babies.