April 1995
Olivia sits in Mr. Zhao's office as they discuss the current team at Station H. The handover is on everyone's mind, since the British lease on the city is due to be up in two years. It's unclear what will happen to their lower-level employees, and even more unclear what should happen to their field agents and double-0's.
"What do you intend on doing with Lau and Rodriguez?" Mr. Zhao asks her forwardly, pulling out both their files concurrently and placing them in front of him.
"I suppose they'll be transferred to London." she tells him honestly.
"Both of them?"
"Yes. What else would I do with them?"
"Hmm." Mr. Zhao sighs and puts his hand on top of Tiago's file, "Even Rodriguez?"
"I have nowhere else to send him right now." Olivia says, and it's true, after everything that's happened it looks like Tiago will end up in London after all.
"You know my feelings about Agent Rodriguez." Zhao tells her, "And I'll continue air my grievances so long as you'll let me. After what happened last year I believe he should be terminated. You know that. This year-" he pauses, "This year has proven to not be much of an improvement."
"What do you mean?" she asks, "He hasn't taken a single day off in the new year and he's going back out on missions. All of his missions have went well and – "
Zhao puts a hand up to stop her, "Let me read you something." he says, and thumbs through Tiago's file until he finds what he's looking for, "This says, and I quote – 003 discharged his weapon despite being told to bring in the target alive. Target was to be questioned regarding location of network servers that were considered top secret by the CCP. The body of the target was found to have over eleven gunshot wounds, seven of which were to the head. It is concluded 003 used excessive force."
Olivia just stares at him, "Double-0's often have to act in self defense."
"Self defense?" Zhao asks, "Let me read you some more of his debriefings." he kept flipping through the file, "003 claimed target was armed but never drew their weapon. Target's body was found with five gunshot wounds to the head. 003 was reprimanded for using excessive force."
Zhao thumbed through more pages and read out the words "excessive force" two more times.
"Does that sound like self defense to you? Just because he has a license to kill it doesn't mean he gets to brutalize our targets. We need some of them alive, you know. I know in decades past our double-0's were merely glorified assassins, but I thought we had moved beyond that. Not only that-" Zhao rolled his eyes, "Agent Rodriguez has started to become a well-known nuisance in the office."
"A nuisance?" she asked, unaware of what he was talking about.
"Just last week he got into a screaming match with one of the members of our IT department. Apparently, they had tried to update some software on his computer and he just completely lost it, ranting and raving about how no one was to touch his belongings. They had to be pulled apart before a fist fight broke out. This isn't the first time he's shown these paranoid tendencies. He screams anytime someone comes up to him at his desk, telling them not to snoop on what he's doing. Why would he say that? I've even caught him arguing with Agent Lau in the office, saying all sorts of nasty things about his wife. About his wife! Ma'am, with all due respect, I know that Agent Rodriguez is one of your most valued employees, and he was a great agent at one point, but lately… I think he needs to be removed from his position."
Olivia tries hard to hide the scowl on her face. Ever since that wretched day she had found Tiago about to fling himself off the balcony it seemed like he was starting to come around. His depression broke in September, and by October he was back out in the field. From her point of view it seemed like he was doing well. He never complained and he did everything she asked of him. He promised her that he'd ceased using the painkillers and that he would try mood stabilizers again. Penang was just a distant memory now. Why would she terminate him when it seemed like things were finally getting back to normal?
"Mr. Zhao, I understand your position. I don't doubt that it was difficult to deal with him last year, but he is improving. In fact, I've seen nothing but improvement since I was here last August. In two years' time I'm sure that everything will be back to normal. Agent Rodriguez will be transferred to London, the same as Agent Lau. I'm not letting either of them go from out double-0 program."
Zhao frowned at her and shook his head, "You don't see him every day, ma'am. I do. The changes I've seen in him since Penang are… Frankly, they're frightening. Some days he blows me off completely and other days he looks at me like he wants to unload a few rounds in my head just for asking a simple question. Rodriguez always had a penchant for questioning authority but this-" he pauses, "I'm concerned he's becoming unhinged."
"Unhinged? Let's not be melodramatic, Mr. Zhao."
"Ma'am, if I have permission to say so, I would say you remind me a lot of your predecessor right now."
"Oh? And why is that?"
"He also had a penchant for the former 003. That was another agent who probably should have been dealt with more swiftly, and you see how that ended up turning out."
Olivia huffs, "You bring up Agent Chen right now? This has nothing to do with the past, and nothing to do with the former M, thank you very much. Agent Rodriguez is an asset to us, whether you see it or not. No one else has his coding and networking skills, not even anyone else employed in the technical department. We need him."
Zhao sighed again and looked away, "We also need professionalism in this office. When Rodriguez is here it's like we're all walking on eggshells."
"I'll keep all this in mind, Mr. Zhao." Olivia tells him, "Now if you don't mind, I'll see myself out. We'll speak more of this tomorrow."
She walked through the empty office, since it was long after working hours had ended. On her way out she passed by Tiago's desk and looked it over. It seemed orderly and ordinary, without a hint of the drama that Mr. Zhao implied occurred there every day.
She couldn't give up on him so easily, even though it seemed like everyone else wanted her to.
It was nearly midnight and Tiago and Olivia were still awake. They just sat in his bed, unclothed and totally careless, munching away on the lotus seed buns he'd bought for her. His sheets were quickly filling with crumbs but he just flicked them away, not caring much about the mess they were making. It wasn't often he had Olivia in his bed, and he was going to enjoy every second of it.
"Happy belated birthday, by the way." he said to her, running a hand down her side, "It's a big one."
Olivia blushed then and rolled her eyes, "Yes, you're right Tiago. I'm certainly no spring chicken anymore."
"It isn't often someone in this business gets to be 60." he says to her, allowing his hand to drift toward her breast where he gives her a little squeeze, "You're my old lady now."
"Tiago!" she hits him playfully, "I'm not your lady at all, let alone your old lady."
"Ah, that's right. You're my mother."
"Oh my God, Tiago, how many times have I told you that makes me uncomfortable?" she said, this time sighing heavily and leaning back against the headboard, "It's so inappropriate."
He shrugged, "Well I could call you Grandma now, no? Congratulations on that as well."
Olivia looked at him with big eyes, "You heard about it?"
"Of course. Everyone in the office heard about it. Twins, huh? A boy and girl? That's very exciting."
"Yes, they're very cute." Olivia said, and smiled one of her real smiles, "I'm glad I lived long enough to meet them."
"Well enjoy having them. Some people like me will never have grandkids, let alone kids." he said offhand, but he felt her stiffen under his touch.
"It's not too late for you, Tiago. Your life is really just beginning. You should find someone."
"Find someone?"
"Find a woman, or a man if that's what you prefer. I think you need someone to take care of you." she says, and he hears a tone of sadness in her voice.
"What do you mean? I can take care of myself. Plus, you take care of me. You give me this flat and my paychecks." he leaned in to kiss her cheek, but she moved away from him.
"No, you need a partner. I'm not your partner, Tiago, I'm just – " she looks at him then, and she isn't scowling like she normally does but she just looks so sad, "I'm just your boss, and I've very much overstepped my bounds."
He thought it was strange that she was suddenly telling him this, especially since he knew she would be jealous, given how she had reacted to Claire all those years ago. Tiago had never told her about the other women, but he assumed she had to know about them, or at least suspect them. There were a few girlfriends here and there over the years, never anything lasting longer than a few months, since whenever the topic of becoming more serious came up he would pull away. He didn't want to indulge in the domestic fantasy of some girl, it was Olivia he wanted by his side. Men were even rarer these days, and the few he'd sought out only hung around for a night or two. Despite it all, Tiago liked his bachelor lifestyle. He liked not being told what to do and being able to stay awake into the early morning hours fiddling with his computers.
Olivia didn't need to know about that either, and he certainly wasn't about to tell her that he'd figured out how to hack into the CCP's mainframe on one of their military bases.
"Olivia." he said, taking her face in his hands, "You're all I need. I'm happy these days, really, things are good for me. Even better when you're around, though."
It was true. Those dark days of the prior year felt like they were behind him, just some distant memory that felt extremely fuzzy to look back on. Even though he'd promised her that he would take medication, he'd simply been filling the prescription and then flushing the pills down the toilet. He needed clarity that he could never get while on those pills, and now that he was feeling better it was even more obvious to him that he didn't need them.
"I'm told you've been having outbursts at work." she says, and that professional scowl of hers abruptly makes its way to her face.
"Are you talking about when I yelled at that kid from IT? He shouldn't have been snooping around my things."
"He was doing his job, Tiago, you didn't have to explode on him."
Tiago scoffed, "He had it coming. That kid is clueless."
"When you say things like that it makes it hard to stand up for you. I shouldn't be telling you this, but Zhao wants you gone. He's made it clear to me that he's lost faith in you."
"Zhao? Who cares what he thinks? He couldn't hack it as a field agent so now he's a desk jockey and thinks he's so much better than everyone else for some reason."
"He's the Operations Manager, Tiago - what he thinks matters, whether you believe it or not. Right now you're grating on his nerves and there's only so much I can do or say. Please just behave yourself until the handover?"
"The handover? What does that have to do with it?" he asks.
She sighs, "You and Lau are being transferred to London in two years. Surely this isn't a surprise to you? The lease is up and –"
"Ah, yes, another lease is up and I'm forced to leave again." he said rolling his eyes, "Yes, I know, I've been trying not to think about it."
"You've got two years, Tiago. Pull it together until then. For me."
He looked her over. Her professional mask was back on despite the fact that she was sitting naked in his bed. He hated it.
"Fine. Anything for you, darling, you know that." he leaned forward again to kiss her, and this time she let him.
"You're being sent to Shanghai in three weeks, when I read over the debriefing I don't want to read that anything negligent occurred during the mission, do you understand?"
"What?" he said pulling back, "I understand." he told her, unsure why she was being so blunt.
"I know you're a competent agent – more than competent, and you've done a lot for us. I know that, but it seems no one else remembers it. You have to remind them. You have to act like you're qualified. Act like you're a double-0, damn it!" she says, her voice rising, and she runs her hands through her hair out of frustration.
"I will." he tells her, "Whatever Zhao said it's bullshit. I always finish a mission, always! You know this."
Olivia got out of bed then and padded to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. He heard the sink running but didn't question it, and he laid back on the bed and ran his hands over his face.
What the hell had Zhao said that had her like this? Tiago just couldn't understand. He was coming to work, he was going on missions, he was being a good little spy and gathering all the intel they needed. He'd been beaten and battered and damaged all for them, what else did they want him to do?
When Olivia came back it seemed like she had calmed down, and she crawled in bed and laid her head down on his chest.
"I'm trying to help you." she said to him, her voice uncharacteristically quiet, "But I need you to help yourself."
"I will, darling, I will." he said, stroking her hair, but he really had no idea what she meant. It must have been damn Zhao who had got to her, it was him who made her start doubting him for some reason. What had he ever done to Zhao to make him turn on him like this? Nothing! Sure, he'd fucked up the Penang mission and skipped out on work for a few months, but he'd made a comeback. It seemed like they just wanted him to be on his knees groveling for his job. There was no way in hell he was doing that. MI6 needed him more than he needed MI6, and he knew it.
Olivia was kissing him then, and then she was on top of him and suddenly the petty argument between them melted away. He had her for the second time that night, tasting the sweetness on her lips and burying himself as far as he could inside of her.
I won't let you down, my love, he thought as he ran his hands over her exposed skin, I'll never let you down.
What he didn't know was that it was the last time he would ever make love to her.
She's furious when she reads the debriefing from Shanghai. Immediately she picks up the phone and calls Tiago.
It only rings once before he answers, "Agent Rodriguez speaking, how can I help you?"
"What in the bloody hell is this?!" she shrieks through the phone.
"Ma'am?" he says, confusion in his voice.
"A civilian, Tiago?! A civilian? What on God's green Earth were you thinking?"
"Ma'am," he says, and she can tell by his tone of voice he's trying to calm her down, "It was just collateral damage. She happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and –"
"I don't want to hear that! You know we're supposed to leave civilians alone! I can't believe –" she catches her breath, "I can't believe you did this. I can't believe it, Tiago."
"Ma'am, I'm-"
"You're being suspended for a month. It will be with pay, but I don't want to hear a single word about you for another month. I'm going to phone Mr. Zhao immediately and you'll be escorted off the premises. Take this month and think about what you've just done, Mr. Rodriguez!"
With that she slams the phone down and collects herself before she has to call Zhao.
Olivia looks over the picture of the civilian that was killed; she looks no older than twenty, and there are three distinct bullet holes in her forehead. This was not 'collateral damage' as Tiago had claimed. This was just cruelty.
She has no idea what to make of this.
December 1996
Olivia only felt tension as she sat behind her desk, pretending to do paperwork but unable to keep her mind off the situation at hand.
Tiago was in London and had been told he was being flown there under the guise of being briefed on a new mission. This was far from the truth. It had come to her attention that he was spending an inordinate amount of time meddling in the networks of the Chinese military during his spare time. If he kept it up, he was going to blow not only his cover but multiple other agent's covers as well. It wasn't like his misadventures on missions, this had to be addressed.
A knock on the door startled her, and she glanced at the clock. It was 13:49 and Tiago was expected at 14:00. Maybe he was early?
"Come in." she called.
It wasn't Tiago who entered, but rather James Bond who sauntered in.
"Ma'am." he said with a nod.
"Mr. Bond, how can I assist you?"
Bond had impressed her during his short time with MI6, and she was happy to see him enter the double-0 program. He was currently in training, and by the next year was expected to take over the mantle of 007. Her instinct to hire him had appeared to be right.
"I was told you wanted to see me."
"Oh, yes, I did. I do have another meeting to attend to-" she looked at the clock, "But this shouldn't take too long. I've been hearing rumors."
"Rumors, ma'am?"
"Yes. Rumors about you and another member of MI6, and I was wondering if you could confirm or deny them?"
"Erm." he smiled awkwardly at her, "I'm not sure what rumors you've heard but-"
"Trevelyan. Alec Trevelyan, does that ring a bell?"
"006?" he said, "Yes, I know him. I don't know what sort of rumors you've heard but it's news to me."
"There's word amongst the other agents that you two have been romantically involved."
"Romantically involved?" he laughs, "No ma'am. No, I swear."
Olivia cocks her brow but nods, "Alright then. It's against MI6 policy to have relations with other colleagues, you know this?"
"Yes, I know it, ma'am."
"So, I don't have to worry about you and Trevelyan sneaking around?"
"Oh no, ma'am, not at all."
"If I were to bring 006 in here he would have the same story as you?"
She swears she sees a brief moment of panic flash over Bond's eyes, but he nods in agreement, "We would have the same story. We aren't involved."
Olivia did find it funny she was having almost the exact conversation with Bond that she had with Tiago so many years ago. She didn't quite believe Bond, but without further proof and only rumors there was only so much she could do.
She wanted to commend Bond on his progress, but before she could continue there's another knock at the door. It had to be Tiago. Olivia felt her breath catch in her throat.
"Come in." she calls again.
As the door swings open she catches sight of Tiago. He's older now, his face more angular and his body a little worse for wear, but he's as handsome as always. He smiles that broad smile at her and she feels hers stomach twist in knots. His hair is short again and she notices his skin is much more pale than usual. He hasn't been going outside much, she thinks, since he spends all his time in front of a computer these days.
"003." she says, trying to keep her face neutral, "Please take a seat. Mr. Bond and I were just finishing up a conversation."
Bond extended his hand cordially to Tiago, who took it after the slightest hesitation.
"Bond. James Bond." he says and shakes Tiago's hand curtly.
Tiago gives him a charming smile, "And I'm 003. All the way from Station H."
Olivia found it odd he didn't tell Bond his name, but she quickly let that thought drift from her mind as Tiago sat down in front of her.
"You're dismissed, Mr. Bond." she tells him, "We'll continue this discussion later."
Bond nods and turns to leave, and when the door closes behind him Tiago lets out a laugh.
"He's quite the looker, isn't he?"
Olivia rolls her eyes, "I suppose-"
"You know there's been rumors." Tiago says.
"Rumors?"
"Rumors about you and Mr. Bond there."
"What?" she says indignantly, "I'm so tired of rumors in this association. It's really quite ridiculous!"
"Yes, well, there's rumors you picked him because of how handsome and charming he is, and that you've been enjoying him after business hours, if you know what I mean."
"My God." she sighs, "People will believe anything."
"It wouldn't be the first time you've slept with an agent." Tiago says and gives her a wink.
"Cut the bullshit, Tiago, do you know why you're here?"
Tiago lifts his eyebrows expectantly, "Well I know the reason I'm hoping for." he says as he lets his eyes drift over her body.
"Tiago, please be serious for just one moment. Truly, do you know why you're really here? There's no new briefing for you. I needed to speak to you in person."
Tiago furrows his brow, "So I suppose it's not because you're going to let me fuck you right here on this desk?"
"Mr. Rodriguez!" she bellows, "I don't know at what point you thought it was alright to speak to me so crudely, but you're here to receive disciplinary action!"
Tiago reels back, "Disciplinary action? For what? I've done everything you've ever asked of me."
"Yes, and your service is much appreciated. What is not appreciated are the extracurricular activities that you've been indulging in."
"Excuse me?"
"Surely you take me for a fool." she spat at him, "I've been alerted that a network at a military base just outside of Chengdu was accessed from a point in Hong Kong. A point that happens to be the exact location of your flat."
All the color leaves Tiago's face and he swallows down hard. "Oh." is all he says.
"I don't know what exactly you're doing in their networks, but that isn't what your job description entails. I mean, truly, Tiago, how careless can you be?"
He shakes his head, "I won't be so careless."
"No." she says sternly, "It's more than that, you're to cease any and all operations of interference with the Chinese government. They're called the Sleeping Dragon for a reason, and I don't need one of my agents being the one to wake them up."
Tiago purses his lips, "I think you're mistaken about this one." he starts, "I can get us information, valuable information, not just about China but also their allies. I've learned some interesting intel about Russia-"
"Tiago, I don't care." she interrupts him, "I don't care what you've found and I don't care what you think you can accomplish. You are to stop this immediately! In fact, I'm placing you on leave for the next three months – unpaid! When you've thought long and hard about this, you can return to active duty once you've destroyed those computers I saw in your flat. Especially the new ones, in case you thought I wasn't keeping count. You only had two towers in 1994 and now you have five, no?"
"Destroy – destroy those computers? I built those towers with my bare hands, I'll do no such thing."
"You can and you will, or you are being dismissed from duty, 003." she tells him in no uncertain terms.
Anger flashes across his face, "Who would even know I have those new computers, hmm? If you ever said anything about them it would be apparent that you were in my home for no official reason. And according to everything on paper you weren't supposed to have been there since 1994. You of all people, M, know that fraternizing amongst colleagues is against MI6 policy."
It takes all her might not to stop her jaw from dropping.
"It wouldn't take much for people to guess why you were there, and what sorts of extracurricular activities we'd been up to." he snarls at her.
A moment of silence falls between them.
"Is that a threat, 003?"
He says nothing but sits back in his chair with a look of disgust on his face.
"If you're threatening me I'll have you taken out of here by security and stripped of everything you have!" Olivia stands up and paces for a few moments, stewing in anger, "You! Of all people, you dare to blackmail me? After everything I've done for you, everything I've given you? I gave you every chance, Tiago! I let you push boundaries, both MI6's and my own, and this is how you repay me? By total defiance when I ask you to stop putting yourself at risk?"
He looks up at her with a ferocious look akin to hate. She's never seen that look in his eyes before. She tries to calm her breathing, and she slowly sits back down resting her hands on her desk and looking back at him.
"Your leave is effective immediately. In three months' time I demand proof that you've destroyed those computers. If you can't produce proof then you will be terminated from your position. Is that clear, Rodriguez?"
"Fuck!" he screams, running his hands over his face before he looks up to glare at her again, "Then I just have one question for you, M, if you don't mind?"
She closes her eyes, "What is it, 003?"
"Are you fucking him the way you used to fuck me?"
She opens her eyes, "I beg your pardon?"
"Bond! Are you fucking Bond?"
Her eyes go wide, "Tiago!"
"Hmm? Is he a better screw than me? Must you always have the newer, younger model? Do you take your pick when the new agents sign on?"
"Tiago, stop it this instant! You're the only agent I've ever had such a relationship with! I've learned from my past mistakes and chose to move on from them, as you should as well."
"Mistakes?" he said, his face went blank but the hurt in his eyes was unmistakable, "So I was just a mistake to you?"
Olivia tried to remain calm, but all the memories flooded back. He has no idea about the visions that keep her awake at night, the longing in her heart and loins for him, or how much she worries about him being out there on the other side of the world. She steels herself against the onslaught of emotion and the fury she wants to release on him. She keeps her face as straight as possible.
"Yes." she said, barely skipping a beat despite the pain in her heart, "Our sexual relationship was certainly a mistake."
He stares at her in disbelief.
"That's not fair." he eventually retorts after a moment of silence, shaking his head, "That's not fair, Olivia! You knew I loved you! You know I still do!"
For once Olivia is genuinely shocked. She wasn't sure if her gasp was audible, but she could feel her jaw was hanging wide open now. She could barely believe her ears, and she barely heard what he was saying as he continued his tirade.
"If you choose him over me because he's a better man, then fine. But if you choose him because you don't love me –" he paused, suddenly breathing deep, "If you choose him because… Why don't you love me anymore? What did I do?"
She could see the tears welling in his eyes and his limbs trembling in anger.
"Tiago," she said softly, "there was never a time in which you and I together would have been appropriate."
"You think I fucking care?" he roared, and for a moment she was terrified that the security outside would hear their conversation, "Let them think whatever they want. I just –" his voice catches in his throat, and he gets up to move towards her. Olivia recoils, terrified he will hit her, but instead he dropped to his knees in front of her. He placed his head in her lap and wrapped his arms around her middle.
"Please." he whimpers, "Please. I need you to just tell me what you want me to do. I'll do anything - anything for you."
He's weeping into her legs and she feels the wetness of his tears on her skirt. She reaches out to touch his hair, and caresses down to the nape of his neck. This was dangerous territory for the both of them. She wanted to tell him she loved him, too. Hell, she wanted to scream it from the rooftops! The only thing she wanted to do was show her lover off to the world and display that he was hers in every way. As always though, reality came crashing down on her as soon as the mere thought of it entered her mind. Other people could follow their heart's desire, but not her, not M who had to keep MI6 from ripping itself apart at the seams.
"Tiago." she said, thinking over her next words carefully, "I need you to stop meddling with whatever the Chinese are doing and just follow my orders."
He looks up at her, his eyes red rimmed and a line of snot dripping from his nose to his mouth. She can't help but think he looks so pathetic in this state, so unlike what an MI6 agent, let alone a double-0, is supposed to embody. What had she done to him? Was this truly all her fault?
"I – I will. I'll stop." he says, before he wipes his face with the back of his hand.
"You need to stop or there will be consequences. Serious consequences. I cannot protect you forever, even though I try. Truly, Tiago, do you know how hard I try to keep you safe? You're my top priority. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I don't give a damn about anyone else in this association except for you. Not even Bond, and I do think he's a magnificent agent. I don't –" she stops herself, feeling too much emotion welling in her chest, "I don't want to see you hurt." This is as close as he's ever going to get to an I love you from her.
He nods. "I understand." he says solemnly.
"I don't want to have to have another meeting like this." she says truthfully.
He closes his eyes, "I don't either."
They sit in silence for a moment, until Olivia pulls away from him. She sighs and motions towards the door, "You can go now." She tells him.
Tiago sniffs and tries to pull himself together, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand and clearing his throat. He turns and walks towards the door, and when he's halfway there Olivia calls out to him.
"I mean what I said." she says, "I never slept with Bond. I wouldn't dream of it. I've never slept with any other colleague either. Only you. It's always only been you, Tiago."
He turned to look at her, nothing but sadness in his dark eyes.
She felt only shame as he let himself out.
March 1997
Mr. Zhao is looking at her with the most disappointed look she's ever seen on his face. If she didn't know better, she would almost think he looked devastated.
"So, is it true?" he asks, but he can barely meet her eyes. She can feel his secondhand embarrassment radiating from him.
"Does it sound true?" Olivia says, hiding the trepidation and fear in her voice, "Do you really think Rodriguez would be having sexual relations with someone as old as me?"
She prays that he will not call her bluff.
Mr. Zhao purses his lips, "Respectfully, no ma'am, I don't. It's just that he said some things that can be proven true if questioned."
"Such as?"
"Well." Zhao looks visibly embarrassed now, "He says there's a rather large scar on your hip, and since your file is classified obviously, no one else knows about it but him. He described it to me in detail. That can be proven if I were to ask to see it."
Olivia feels her blood run cold, "What?"
"I know." Zhao says, casting his eyes down, "It's ridiculous but… I normally wouldn't believe Rodriguez about something like this, and I don't – I don't – it just would make sense considering how lenient you've been with him over the years."
"You do believe him, don't you?" Olivia asks, feeling anger and panic fighting each other simultaneously, "He's being paranoid, Mr. Zhao! This is just another one of his outbursts!"
"You're probably right." Zhao says, tapping his fingers nervously on the desk, "We need to terminate him, but I'm concerned that he's a threat to national security. Given he's threatening you and coming up with these ridiculous stories about you and him – not to mention that the CCP is on to him."
Olivia can't keep running from the truth. There's no place for Tiago at MI6 anymore.
"Ma'am, I have an idea, if you'll hear it?" Zhao asks her.
"What is it?"
"You know about the agents that were arrested on the mainland over the years, I'm sure. There's six of them altogether. All of them had good track records. We've been in contact about an exchange, and they asked for Rodriguez specifically – at least, they asked for the agent that was meddling in the military mainframe. They know we're harboring him. I haven't responded to their requests because obviously it's only you who can sign off on the exchange."
"You're saying we're going to give him up? To the mainland?"
"If you approve it." Zhao says, nervousness written all over his face, "It would solve our problem. We'll get our agents back and be done with him. No more rumors, no more needless deaths, no more hacking mishaps. Given how far gone this situation has become, I think we need to at least consider it."
He's right. She knows he's right. Once again - just like eleven years ago - she's trying to find out how to pawn Tiago off on someone else. Olivia hates that history always repeats itself.
"Let me think on it." she says flatly, "I must be going now, but before I do Mr. Zhao there's one last thing."
"What's that?" he asks.
"I hear that rumors about me and other colleagues are going around – specifically regarding not only Agent Rodriguez but apparently Mr. Bond as well. I want these rumors squashed, do you understand? These are the most absurd things I've ever heard, they're just the ramblings of a busybody, I'm sure. The gossip is to stop in this office, I don't care what measures you have to take – just make sure these rumors end."
Zhao nods at her, but she can still see disappointment lingering in his eyes.
"Understood."
As she leaves his office she isn't sure if it's her head or her heart that aches.
Tiago isn't expecting her when she shows up to his flat.
"Olivia?" he says, very confused when the door opens and she's standing there, but she barges in anyway.
The computers are still there, all five of them plus a few laptops, sitting in his living room. Some of them are booted up and the monitors are flashing with lines of code that she can't understand.
"What did you tell Zhao? You told him about us?"
Tiago stares at her but doesn't say anything.
"Tiago, you told me you were going to destroy these computers! You told me you were going to stop! What the fuck are you thinking?" she screams, throwing her hands up in frustration, "I can't believe you told him about us! You think this is a joke?"
"What? Do you think this is a joke?" he screams back, "You're the one who's fucking someone else! You brought this upon yourself!"
"Fucking someone else? Tiago, what the hell are you talking about? Are you talking about Bond? Please tell me you're joking –" she laughs at the absurdity, "I never fucked Bond or anyone else! That has nothing to do with this anyway! I told you that you were being terminated if you didn't destroy these, and I wasn't lying."
"Oh no?" he asks, shaking his head violently, "Then just fucking watch this!"
He picks up one of the glowing computer monitors, and pulls it so hard the cord rips right out of the wall. He throws open his balcony door and steps outside where he sends the monitor sailing over the side of the railing. A few moments later the noise of it crashing against the sidewalk echoes up to them.
"Is that good enough for you?" he screams, now picking up a tower and flinging it over his balcony like the monitor before it. Just as the sound of it crashes in the street, he then grabs another and sends it flying as well.
"Tiago, stop! Stop! You're going to hit someone!"
"Who cares." he mutters, "They're gone now, are you happy?" he rips another cord out of the wall and sends a third tower over the ledge of his balcony, "I hope you're happy. You made me do this!"
"I didn't make you throw them off the balcony, Tiago, you're the one who chose to do that! It didn't have to get to this point!"
He stops what he's doing and glares at her, that same hate from when he was in her office emanating from his eyes.
"Get the fuck out." he snarls at her, "Get out!"
He doesn't have to ask her twice. She rushes out, and as soon as she shuts the door behind her she hears a loud thump of what she can only assume is a computer part being hurled at the door.
Zhao was right. He was unhinged. He wasn't fit for anything anymore.
Before she gets on her flight back to London, she stops by Mr. Zhao's office.
"We're going to do it." she tells him.
He knows exactly what she means, and solemnly nods. It's not like he wants to do this either.
"Don't let on that it's happening. Nothing out of the ordinary. Business as usual in the office, understood? Tell the CCP to contact me directly. I'll sign what I have to."
On the flight home she tries to sleep, but her dreams are haunted by the sounds of computer hardware hitting the pavement. She dreams that she's in the street, watching the plastic parts falling from the sky. Before she knows it a body is falling, and it hits the ground with a sickening thud. She doesn't have to look to know whose body it is.
She wakes up with a gasp, and when she looks out the window all she sees is darkness.
May 1997
No one asks her why she is taking the rest of the day off. They already know – she had to sign a treaty with Mainland China, and while MI6 is getting back six of their agents, it was a long and grueling process to even get to this point. Olivia feels lucky they struck a deal with her at all. Everyone is congratulating her, and everyone is so happy that they are getting six colleagues back. Once the documents are signed and finalized, she excuses herself from the office by saying she isn't feeling very well.
When she's a few blocks away from Vauxhall Cross is when she breaks down. The tears won't stop, and she's hyperventilating and sitting on the stoop of a random home on the street. A young woman even stops to check on her.
"Are you okay, madam? Do you need help?"
"No." Olivia chokes out, "No, I'll be fine."
She sat on that stoop for far longer than she realized. She wept and wept and could only think of what she had just condemned her lover to.
He was going to die. She had told him to stop, and he just couldn't stop. Why couldn't he stop? He said he loved her, but clearly he didn't love her enough to stop his dalliances with other governments or stop playing with those godforsaken computers.
His words from months before echoed through her mind, "Why don't you love me anymore?"
She cried until she couldn't anymore. She cried until all she felt was numb, until she could barely remember why she was crying.
Once the tears were over she dragged herself into the nearest pub and started drinking. It was lager after lager until she could barely see straight.
When she finally arrived home hours after she was expected, she collapsed at the door, only for Matthew to have to drag her into bed. He gave her a stern talking to, but she heard none of it.
Her mind was on Tiago, wondering when the axe would drop on him. She wondered where he was right now and if he could sense her deception from so many time zones away.
That night she dreamed of him. He was sitting in her office, behind her desk. He looked at her ruefully. Olivia felt such a longing inside her. She wanted to run to him and take him in her arms. Before she could move a muscle he spoke, "Why wasn't I good enough for you?" he says.
She has no answer.
She wakes up in tears and calls out from work.
September 1997
Tiago's eyes flutter open and he is momentarily shocked by the bright lights that overcome his vision. He can never predict if they're going to leave him in the dark or leave the lights on for days, but part of him is glad to at least have his eyesight this time around. His head is pounding and he can feel a sticky wetness all around his mouth.
When he lifts his hand to feel his lips he notices his left front tooth is loose. As his fingers gently graze it the tooth falls out into his hand. He can only stare at it for a few moments, or maybe a few minutes, time has no meaning in this dirty cell.
When he looks at the floor he doesn't see the typical while tiles, rather just a huge puddle of blood gathering underneath his head. He couldn't even remember what they'd done to leave him in this state, bloody and loose toothed, not to mention cold and naked.
He doesn't bother to wipe the blood away from his face or even roll over and away from the pool of liquid under him. He just wraps his arms around himself for warmth and shivers, hoping sleep might come soon. The memories of yesteryear haunt him as he thinks of his coma and the fallout of his misadventure in Penang, and he wonders how many more beatings and blackouts he can take before his frontal lobe gives out permanently.
As he closes his eyes he thinks of Olivia, and he wills himself to remember the curve of her body under his fingertips and the soft sweetness of her kisses. When he gets out of this filthy dungeon he's going to go to her and never let go. It's the only thing that stops him from using his cyanide capsule; the promise that he'll see her again, and that she'll make all the pain go away like she always does. He hates himself for the tantrum he threw the last time he saw her. He hates that the last thing he said to her was get out. He wishes he could take it all back.
She must be coming. Any time a double-0 goes missing they start an investigation. He knows she's looking for him. He knows she'll be here any day to take him away from this hell he's living in.
I need you, please come soon, he thinks to himself.
Every day is exactly the same. They do horrific things to him, and he begins to wish he was dead. He begins to wish he really had thrown himself off the balcony the day that Olivia happened to show up and stop him. The only reason he holds on is so he can look into her blue eyes one more time, his last little bit of hope that he clings to.
One day they tell him he's been there for almost five months, and he feels the hope draining away.
Suddenly he realizes that she isn't coming at all.