Naruto was getting reprimanded for his choice of ID picture when he first saw her. Well, heard her. Her explosions, to be exact.
The Hokage sighed and muttered something about the abundance of destructive children in his village, whatever that was supposed to mean.
"Have Nara-san come to my office please," the Hokage requested of his secretary.
"Of course Hokage-sama."
"Ne, what's going on, Jiji?"
The Hokage looked at him in contemplation. "Nothing, Naruto-kun. Don't worry about it."
At that moment a jonin entered the office. His hair was in a spiky ponytail, just like Naruto's classmate Shikamaru wore it. The man actually looked a lot like Shikamaru, aside from the scars covering his face.
Naruto decided that the man must be a really strong ninja to have such cool scars.
"You asked for me, Hokage-sama?" the man asked in a tired voice.
"Have you been able to apprehend our young troublemaker?"
The man blinked, "I have no idea what you're talking about, Hokage-sama."
The Hokage sighed, "Please have a team investigate the source of the explosion. Seeing as one of our usual suspects is currently accounted for, I'm sure you'll have an easier time investigating."
"Of course, Hokage-sama. Right away," the jonin said and slouched out of the room again.
The Hokage turned back to the young Uzumaki to find the chair vacant.
"So who do you think it was?" Naruto asked the slouching jonin, following him down the hallway of Hokage Tower.
"Hmm? Oh, it was definitely Kuree-chan," the man waved off.
"Who's that?"
Shikaku looked down and pondered whether it would be worth all the paperwork that introducing the kids would bring.
Whatever.
"She's an academy student. Follow the sound of explosions and you'll find her."
With that, the jonin left and Naruto made his way through the village to track down this mysterious girl.
He had not expected it to be an eight-year-old.
"What are you doing?" he asked her when he found her at the side of Naku River.
"Fish blasting!" the girl giggled and threw another bomb into the river.
The following explosion catapulted cooked fish at the two blondes.
"Amazing-ttebayo!"
"It's worth getting grounded for," she nodded, throwing him a fish.
"How do you do that?" he asked, squinting at her bombs.
"My oniichan lets me use his lab to make explosives sometimes. They make everything go boom really prettily!"
"Cool! I'm Uzumaki Naruto!"
"Really? You got ot meet my ojisan! Come on!"
Naruto watched as Kuree grabbed the rest of the fish before taking his hand and pulling him along, back into the village.
Civilians dodged to the sides as the two blondes entered the civilian district. They stopped in front of a building labelled Enjeruzu Shea.
"Uh, are you sure this is a good place to be?" Naruto asked, looking at the bar.
"Don't worry, I come here all the time."
She pushed open the door, "Ojisan! Come meet my new friend!"
A tall redheaded man sighed from behind the bar, "Kuree-chan, I have already told you that I am not your ojisan."
"But descendant-of-my-mom's-mother's-sister is too long to say every time!"
Dirukku's look clearly said that that was not what he had meant but he said nothing more. Instead, he gave another put-upon sigh before pulling out two glasses and filling them with grape juice for the kids before starting to wipe down his counter.
"So what are you here for?"
Kuree put down the glass she had just drunk from and clapped in her hands, "Oh yeah! This is my new friend, Naruto-kun," she motioned to the boy who was inspecting the glass of grape juice, "He's an Uzumaki, just like you!"
At that Naruto's head snapped up, "You're an Uzumaki?"
Dirukku stopped in his motions. His gaze wandered over the nearly empty bar–there were only a few regulars in the back corner–before he nodded, "I am."
"I have family?"
"No."
Naruto's mouth opened and closed, unsure how to respond.
"Dirukku-ojisan is just being grumpy," Kuree assured him, patting his arm. "He tried to adopt you, you know. But the Hokage didn't let him."
"How do you know that?" Dirukku glared at the girl, temped to take away her grape juice out of spite.
"Gaia-oniichan told me!"
Naruto was sure that the towel that caught on fire was a simple coincidence.
"Why did Hokage-jiji forbid you from adopting me?" he asked.
Dirukku shrugged and started angrily cleaning glasses, "Far be it for me to question the Hokage's decisions."
"He's not allowed to talk about it," Kuree translated.
"And neither are you," Dirukku reminded her.
"Yeah, yeah."
Suddenly Dirukku seemed to see the fish that she had placed on her lap.
"Kuree," he sighed, "You know you're not supposed to do that."
"But it's so much fun! And most jonin cover for me anyway."
"Well, I'm glad you can use the shinobi's incompetence for your own gain."
"What?" Naruto asked. He had never heard shinobi be called incompetent before.
"But Jiji is so cool!"
"Why do you think that?"
"Well, he can use a bunch of cool jutsu! And he's super strong!"
"That could just as well describe a missing-nin. Are they cool too?"
"Well, no. They're bad people. They kill!"
Dirukku's eyes narrowed, "If you think there's a single jonin in this village who hasn't killed people, maybe you're not quite ready to be a shinobi yet."
A glint of determination grew in Naruto's eye, "I am too! I'm going to be the best shinobi there is without killing anyone who didn't try to kill me first! And then I'll be Hokage and you're gonna have to admit I was right!"
The redhead gave a wry smile, "Right."
Kuree nodded at her new friend, "We're excited to see it."
—
It was only when they left the bar that Naruto realized something.
"If he's your ojisan and I'm related to him, wouldn't I be related to you too?"
"Yup," Kuree nodded, "Pretty distantly, I think. I'm not even really considered an Uzumaki."
"Well, it's close enough for you to be my imouto."
Kuree grinned, "Then you'll be Naruto-oniichan now."
Naruto grinned, "Hey, do you wanna learn something cool?"
"Will it cause an explosion?"
"Well, uh, no. But it's really cool!"
"Hmm, okay."
Naruto clasped his hands together in three different seals, ending in Ram. In a puff of smoke, Naruto had suddenly turned into Dirukku.
Naruto-as-Dirukku put his hand to his chin, "Hmm, I am mysterious and I don't ever say what I mean." His voice didn't sound at all like Dirukku's adding to the comical effect.
Kuree laughed, "Do me next!"
Naruto repeated the signs and was suddenly the same height as her. He threw his (her) hands up in the air, "Let's go blow something up!"
The blondes laughed together and as an exasperated chuunin with a bandage over his nose called out to them, two Kurees made a mad dash for it, giggling all the way.