Unsteady

On days like this, Touya wished the Coffee shop around the corner hadn't closed up a few months ago. The mug was shaking in his hand as he put it down under the coffee machine, struggling to put enough pressure on the button to get it going.

Since moving in with Keigo, it hadn't been as much of an issue, but there were good days and bad days. Today was a bad one. And it was even worse because Keigo had been on a mission for the last two days, leaving him alone at home.

The coffee machine hummed, dispensing just the right amount of black coffee into his fancy big-handle-no-spill cup. It looked ridiculous, but not because of the design that actually helped keeping the liquid inside while his hands were shaking, but because Keigo got it with little ducks on it. Why? Touya had no clue. He also didn't know why he preferred the ducks over the plain white one in the cupboard. He let two sugar cubes fall into the cup, because against popular belief, he liked his coffee sweet.

The way over to the couch was longer than he remembered. Or maybe that was because his legs felt like stones and every step took conscious effort out of him. At least he didn't spill the coffee onto the wooden floors or the beige cushions on the sofa. The heating pad was already plugged in, so he only had to press the little switch on the cord to turn it on. It didn't require much pressure, but today it was still a little difficult.

Touya hated these days. When his nervous system decided to work overtime, but against him. There were the tremors and the muscle weakness, but also the pain and the weird sensation on his skin that he couldn't really explain. Sometimes, even his vision got a bit hazy, but today seemed to be going okay. It wasn't bad enough to take out his glasses, and Touya hoped it would stay that way.

The heating pad turned the space under the fuzzy couch blanket into a cocoon of warmth, and he sighed. He could feel the tension in his muscles relax, and the pain slowly died down to a dull ache. He could stay here for the rest of the day, but the heating pad would turn off after some time to prevent overheating, and the pain would return. But for now, it was slowly becoming bearable. His eyes wandered to the bathroom door, which he had left open this morning in search of the first aid box containing an assortment of medical supplies, as well as hospital grade pain killers and muscle relaxants. A household consisting of a reckless pro-hero and a stubborn nerve damaged civilian had to have a pretty impressive stock. Nevertheless, he had only taken half of the usual dose, which was enough to keep him pretty functional but not make him sleep the whole day. Touya didn't like being out of it when Keigo was on a mission.

That's why he sat on the couch, heating pad on, coffee hot (he should have picked tea but whatever), and the next episode of that ridiculous fantasy series on. This time, the protagonist tried to undo the deal she had made with the devil because she fell in love with a guy in a bookshop. But there was a cat, so he kept watching.

Sometime after the fifth or so episode, Touya must have fallen asleep, because when he opened his eyes again, the apartment was dark around him and the streaming service had auto-paused. Only the little red dot of the tv in stand-by and the city light shining in through the penthouse windows were illuminating the otherwise empty living room.

Touya sat up and groaned when his muscles spasmed under him. Maybe it was time for a higher dose after all.

"Keigo?" His voice was heavy from sleep, but loud enough to be heard throughout the apartment. But there was no answer, not even a noise indicating Keigo had come home from his mission. Touya's eyes wandered to his phone on the coffee table: 10:48 p.m. No new messages.

It was unusual for Keigo to be late. They were supposed to come back from the undercover mission around the afternoon, and with debriefing and everything else he should have been home already.

He usually wasn't one to worry, but this mission had taken several days and Keigo was usually one to send a message. And he was feeling like shit, so the universe should give him a break.

Touya reached for the phone with still trembling fingers and nearly dropped in onto the hardwood floor. His muscle weakness has gotten worse, he would definitely need stronger meds. Letting the phone lay on the coffee table, he typed in a quick message:

Hey, everything ok?

The check appeared when the message was sent, but there was no check that indicated it had been delivered. Touya's heart rate picked up, but he told himself that he probably had his phone off. Undercover mission and all that.

The muscle in his legs twitched, and Touya bit his lip. Could his body please behave for the rest of the night, or at least until Keigo was back again? He didn't want his boyfriend to find him sprawled on the living room floor because he tripped and fell and couldn't push himself back up again. At least it was just twitching and weakness for now. If the pain came back, it would be one hell of a night.

Deciding against the bedroom for this exact reason, and because he couldn't sleep anyway, Touya switched on the TV again. A random late night show was playing, having some C list heroes fight each other in a game show. He didn't really pay attention to the game, but the background noise kept his thoughts from going places they shouldn't. The bad pain days were always the worst, keeping his body and mind in an endless loop of stress and exhaustion. The longer he stared at the screen in the darkness of the apartment, the more his eyelids began to drop.

He must have fallen asleep again, because he jerked awake to loud crash on the balcony.

"What the fuck?!" The sudden movement made his muscles scream and Touya had to close his eyes for a second to breathe. If there was someone trying to get into the apartment, he was screwed. He could toast them in an emergency, but the chances were pretty high he would end up in hospital with them. There was another crash, and something fell against the glass door. Touya turned slowly, adrenaline shooting through his veins and making his hands tremble. There was someone on the balcony.

At first, he saw only a slumped figure on the floor, reaching for the doorhandle. The dim light in the living room reflected on the glass, making it difficult to see. Touya got ready to use his flames if he had to.

"Hey, what do you want! This apartment got security and I have a fire quirk! You're gonna be- "

The door creaked open, and a little flame danced over Touya's fingers, making his skin burn but signaling the intruder that he was not messing around. His heart was racing.

"I warn you, this is- "

His voice died mid-sentence when a bundle of blonde hair and messed up feathers stumbled into the living room.

"Oh my god, Keigo!" Touya stumbled forward, but too slow to keep Keigo from collapsing onto the living room floor with a sickening crunch.

"Keigo! What happened?! Hey... hey, talk to me, hey..." He practically fell to his knees in front of him, cradling Keigo's limp head in his lap. His blonde hair was sticking to his head with sweat, one glass of his visor was missing and the jacket was littered with dirt.

Keigo's eyes fluttered open a fraction, his chest heaving.

"Tou..."

"I'm here, I'm here... what happened?" Touya's hands wandered to his hairline, trying to brush the tangled mess out of Keigo's eyes and removing the cracked visor in the process.

"Mission... went... sideways. Got attacked... made...it home."

Touya's eyes wandered over Keigo's battered body. There was blood on the jacket, on the pants, a bruise was forming at his temple and his wings were a mess.

"Why didn't you go to a hospital? Why didn't they check on you, you always do a debriefing, right? Keigo!"

"Couldn't... go. Team... got...Compromised..." Keigo's eyelids began to drop. His breathing was labored.

"Hey, stay with me!"

There was so much blood on the jacket, on the suit, on the... floor.

Wide eyed, Touya's trembling fingers wandered to the jacket, gently lifting the fabric. Keigo hissed when a wound on his stomach became visible, slowly gushing out blood onto the hardwood floor.

"Shit, Keigo..." Touya repositioned himself beside Keigo on the floor, moved the jacket out of the way and pressed down on the wound on Keigo's stomach. In response, he winced and squirmed under his hands. Touya's hands were shaking violently now, a mix of the adrenaline in his veins and the already spasming muscles in his arms. There was still blood dropping onto the floor.

"It's not enough, I can't press down hard enough... I can't even press anything right now, goddammit why am I so useless! Keigo, stay with me, stay..."

He was breathing. His fingers were too shaky to feel a pulse, but he was breathing. Touya stood up and ran back to the coffee table, stumbling only once and holding himself upright on the edge of the couch. He grabbed the phone with bloody hands, but it fell out of his fingers immediately.

"Shit, Shit shit shit! Voice assistant!" The little colorful dots appeared on the side of the screen, signaling the activation of the voice assistant. "Call Natsuo Todoroki!"

Calling Natsuo Todoroki.

The dial tone sounded like thunder in Touya's ears, and it took way too long, until finally the annoyed voice of his brother sounded through the speaker:

"Are you fucking serious. Touya, It is 3 am in the morning, do you-"

"Natsu, this is an emergency. Keigo, he... he..." Touya struggled to find the words to explain the situation, his eyes fixed on the blood on his hands.

"Calm down, what happened with Keigo. Where are you?"

"Home. Keigo was on a mission and he just crashed on the balcony and there is so much blood and I... I... I'm useless, I can't move or put pressure on the wound and I can't lift him up and I-"

Natsuo's voice was clear and authoritarian now, the recent years of medical training kicking in.

"Touya! Touya, breathe. Have you called an ambulance?"

"No, Keigo said something about them being compromised and I don't know if-"

"Alright. I don't ask questions. I'm on my way, give me 20 minutes."

"Make it 10."

"It's 3 am. I'll hurry up, stay on the line, okay?" There was a rustling sound and Touya knew Natsuo was putting on clothes and his headset. His voice sounded more awake now, and Touya recognized the tone as something he'd mockingly called his doctor mode before. "Talk to me, is he conscious?"

"He's fading in and out, he was talking to me, and then he lost consciousness again. There is so much blood Natsuo..."

"Where? Where is the blood Touya?"

"On his jacket, his pants, on his shirt-" A door slammed on the other side of the speaker.

"Can you make out where the blood is coming from. Is there a visible wound or something?"

"Y-Yes, on his stomach. I tried putting pressure on it but I can't, my arms- my- my hands are shaking too much I can't even move-"

"Breathe, it's okay Touya. Can you use anything else to put pressure on it? This sounds weird, but your knee? Your foot? A pillow you can lean on? Anything?"

Touya frantically took one of the cream-colored couch pillows and stumbled back to Keigo's still form on the living room floor. He put the puffy pillow down on Keigo's bleeding wound, using his forearms to press it down. Keigo moaned softly, trying to get away from the pain. "I-I'm pressing down a pillow, but I don't think it's enough to stop the bleeding Natsu-"

"That's good. You're helping. Are there any other injuries? His head? Arms? Legs? Wings?"

Touya hadn't checked the wings yet. There was a huge gash on his leg, and his ankle looked twisted. The flight feathers on his right wing were crooked, some smaller ones barely hanging on or snapped. The bone looked okay, but Touya couldn't really tell when they were laying down like that.

"His ankle is twisted, and there's a wound on his thigh."

"Actively bleeding?" Touya looked at the floor, where a small puddle of blood had already formed.

"Y-Yes. There's blood on the floor." "Shit... I'll need a second pair of hands." Natsuo mumbled. There was a rushing sound in the background, so he was most likely driving way too fast through the empty streets.

Touya bit his lip. "I..."

"I'll take care of it. ETA 10 minutes. Hang in there. I have to hang up for a second, I'll call you right back, okay? Don't panic. You're doing great."

"Natsu wait-"

The phone clicked and the other end was silent. Touya's breathing picked up. He was alone, Keigo was bleeding out on his living room floor and he couldn't do anything except being pathetic.

A sharp pain shot through his arm and his left hand suddenly cramped. "Argh, shit, shit, not now. Please."

He should have taken the higher dose. He should have handled this better, he-

"Touya..."

Golden eyes fluttered open, and Touya would have cried if he could.

"Hey, Keigo. I'm here, okay? Stay with me. Help is coming, I'm sorry I can't do anything right now but I-"

"I'm... sorry." Keigo's voice was not more than a whisper.

"No, no. Don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong." Touya shifted his weight and Keigo whimpered when the pillow on his stomach moved. "I'm sorry, I'm-"

"Is that... my couch pillow?" His eyelids dropped again and Touya shifted his weight, this time intentionally. "Wh- a-!"

Keigo screamed, his wings twitching under him, trying to get away from the pain but failing to move.

"Sorry, but you have to stay awake, okay? Talk to me, what happened on the mission? Why couldn't you get proper treatment with the commission, hey?"

Keigo grit his teeth, his legs and wings shaking. "Th-there was a leak. They knew we were... coming. Someone must have... given them... information."

"But why didn't you go to a hospital?"

Keigo's breathing was labored, and Touya's eyes wandered to the phone. Natsuo hadn't called back yet.

"Didn't think... it was that bad."

Touya huffed out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, right. Bleeding out on your living room floor isn't that bad."

"Had to... get away. Got worse... on the... way and..." Keigo coughed. "Wasn't sure I'd make it."

A shiver ran down Touya's spine. No, he forbade his thought to go in that direction. Everything would be fine, Natsuo was a good doctor in training and-

His phone rang again.

"Voice assistant. Take call." His voice shook when Natsuo's number glowed on the display.

"Touya, I'm nearly there. Just one block away. Can you open the door?"

Touya's eyes wandered to the pillow under his arms. The underside was blood red, but it hadn't bled through yet. There was more blood on his hands.

"I- I don't know. If I let go the bleeding will get worse and I'm not sure I can even make it to the door." His legs felt numb, a small tremor making his thigh muscles twitch.

"Okay." Natsuo's voice sounded calm. "Do you have a security passcode?"

Touya shook his head, even though Natsuo couldn't see it through the phone. "No, you'd need a transponder to open the door anyway... Shit!"

Keigo's apartment building had first class security. There were no keys, but security passcodes that were changed once a week and a transponder to open the keypad in order to put them in.

"You..." Keigo's voice was small, pained, but his eyes fluttered open to search for blue ones. "Can... override."

"Keigo, is that you?!" Natsuo's voice sounded a bit more stressed now through the loudspeaker of the phone. "How do you override?"

"Latch..." Keigo wheezed. "Left... Keypad."

"There is a latch on the left side of the keypad," repeated Touya.

"Okay, found it. There are little buttons with nothing on them."

"2...6...8... 12"

"Count them as numbers! Press 2, 6, 8, 12," Touya practically screamed into the speaker.

There were four little beeping sounds, and then Natsuo's voice again: "Okay, the keypad activated. What's the passcode?"

Touya didn't have to ask, he could be useful at least once in this situation: "1, 8, 0, 4, 6."

Five beeps later and he could hear the door opening through the speaker.

"Penthouse, apartment 7."

"On it." There were heavy steps now, accompanied by labored breathing and the ping of the elevator. A few seconds later, he could hear a voice outside of the apartment door, as well as through the phone speaker:

"Can you open the apartment door?"

"There's a passcode as well. 2, 8, 2, 1."

The door clicked, and Natsuo was stumbling through the hallway, backpack swung over one shoulder and phone in hand.

Relief flooded through Touya at the sight of his brother. Natsuo had been in medical training for over two years now, making him a hundred times more competent than his useless self.

"I'm here, I'm here. Okay, let's see what we have. Keigo, can you hear me?" Natsuo patted Keigo's cheek, earning a moan but nothing else in return. "Hey, can you open your eyes for me?"

Natsuo's eyes wandered over Keigo's body, taking in the extend of the injuries, before focusing on his brother. "You did good, Touya. I want you to remove the pillow for me to take a look at the wound, okay?"

Touya's breath hitched, and the cramping in his legs and hands sent sparks of pain through his body. He couldn't move. He couldn't tell his limbs to cooperate, just stand there and look at them trembling uselessly on top of Keigo's body.

"I-I can't. I can't move. I-" He grit his teeth as another wave of pain washed over him. It had gotten worse.

"Hey, hey, Touya. I'm gonna take your arms and remove them from the pillow, okay? There you go, good." Natsuo took Touya's trembling arms and slowly dragged them off the pillow. Keigo whimpered under them as the pressure was removed, and Natsuo carefully removed the bloodstained fabric and tossed it aside. The wound was still sluggishly bleeding, making the flight suit stick to it in some places. He took out an extensive first aid kit from his backpack and began cutting up the shirt with a pair of gauze scissors.

Touya was watching the scene with wide eyes, breathing heavily. The shaking of his hands and legs was nearly uncontrollable now, the slowly wearing off adrenaline rush giving way to pain and numbness again. He wasn't sure if he could stay upright for very much longer in this position. There were steps in the hallway, and suddenly the door to Keigo's apartment burst open again, making him flinch.

"Natsuo, what's going on? What- oh my god!" The two-toned hair of Shoto entered his waning field of vision. His brother was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, hair a tangled mess and looked like he had just gotten out of bed. Touya's brow furrowed. Wait, what time was it again? Why was he here?

Another voice rumbled through the apartment, belonging to a dark-haired man that Touya couldn't quite place. He looked even more tired than Shoto, wearing all black and a grey scarf. Was that...?

"Todoroki, I've notified Recovery Girl. Due to the timing, it was not easy to reach her and she might take a little time, but she's coming. It might take an hour though, what can I do to help?"

Natsuo looked up briefly, gesturing to the first aid kid and then to the wound on Keigo's thigh. "We need to stop the bleeding. I think he hasn't slashed any artery, but the bleeding doesn't stop, so I'm not sure. We need to keep him stable until recovery girl arrives. I need a second pair of hands. And be careful with the wings."

Shota Aizawa nodded briefly and got to work, cutting the blood-soaked pants and taking disinfectant and gauze out of the first aid kid.

Touya was just staring at the scene unfolding in front of him, unable to move, concentrating on the fact that there were people here that could help now. He had to stay out of the way, had to keep his body quiet and ignore the fact that his brain wanted to scream and-

"Touya." Shoto's soft voice hauled him out of his thoughts, making him wince.

"Sho... what are you... doing here?" His voice sounded pathetic even in his own ears.

"Natsu called UA and explained the situation, requesting aid from Recovery Girl. Aizawa Sensei woke me up in the middle of the night, telling me that there was an incident with Hawks and that you needed help."

Touya frowned. "I-I don't... Keigo crashed on the balcony, and he-"

"Touya, look at me." Shoto's hand grabbed his, carefully stroking the cramping fingers. "You're in pain." It wasn't a question, and Touya cursed the apparent medical abilities that ran in his family. "They got the situation under control. Let me take care of you."

"I... don't want to leave him alone."

"He's not alone, Touya."

His eyes wandered to Natsuo, who was inspecting the wound on Keigo's thigh. Their eyes met and Natsuo gave him a small nod. Touya let out a shaky breath.

"Okay, but I don't know... If I can get up."

Shoto grabbed him under the armpits and tried to hurl him into a standing position, but as soon as his legs were under him, they folded again and he stumbled.

"No...! Not working, not-" "Woah, careful, okay?" Shoto grabbed him by the shoulder, keeping him from falling. "Are you good?"

"No..." He swayed, vision tunneling slowly.

"Come on, let's sit down over there..."

They managed to drag him to the couch, most of his weight resting on Shoto's shoulders. Their height difference made it a little awkward, but Shoto said nothing until Touya let himself sink into the pillows with a wince. Shoto kneeled in front of him on the floor, hand still on his wrist.

"Okay, when did the episode start?"

"A little more than 12 hours ago? I don't know. In the morning..." Touya squinted his eyes, trying to make the black spots disappear.

"Okay, what did you take?"

"Painkillers, one dose."

Shoto sighed. "Touya, that's-"

"I didn't want to be knocked out when he wasn't home. And it was good I wasn't, because otherwise..." He closed his eyes fully when another wave washed over him, making his feet twitch.

"You know the next question, on a scale-"

"Eight... Or more like, eight and a half..."

"Seriously?" Shoto's eyes widened a fraction. "Why didn't you...?"

Touya avoided his eyes. "Yes, I know... I told you..."

Without another word, Shoto got up and walked over to the bathroom. They had a first aid cabinet, the lower shelf stocked with Touya's meds. Taking two blisters of pills and a water bottle from the kitchen counter, he walked back to the couch when someone knocked at the door.

"Aizawa-san?" The soft voice of Recovery Girl could be heard through the door, and Shoto walked over to open it.

"Oh, you're... the Todoroki kid, right?" Recovery Girl walked past him, straight to the living room and her patient. Touya saw how Natsuo and Aizawa talked to her, and how she assessed Keigo. He kept quiet, not wanting to disturb anything, and nearly jumped when Shoto returned.

"She's going to help him. Don't worry. She's patched me up countless times. He'll be fine."

Touya believed him, but his eyes were still seeing the blood on the floor, mingling with feathers and Keigo's-

"Hey!" An ice-cold hand grabbed his chin and turned his head. "We're going to take care of you now, okay?"

"Fine..."

Shoto took two pills out of each blister and dropped them into his trembling hand.

"It's still a lower dose, but it should help with the muscle relaxants." Keigo and his siblings were familiar with the medication and side effects they could cause. And because Touya was too often not careful enough, they'd make sure he was taking care of himself.

Touya looked at the pills. He could have taken them in the afternoon already. Maybe he would have been of more use now...

He swallowed them, taking the already opened water bottle and gulped down half of it.

"You should lay down..." Shoto's soft voice made something in his heart twist painfully.

"No... Not until they're done." Shoto took the bottle from him before it fell, wise in not trusting his grip. Touya's eyes wandered to the little group still huddling together on the floor. Recovery Girl had just kissed Keigo's forehead, and Natsuo was carefully brushing his hands along the crooked feathers of his wing. He couldn't see the wounds from here, but there were white bandages peeking out from under the now shredded shirt.

After a while, Aizawa stood up and walked over to the couch, a neutral expression on his face.

"Everything okay over here?"

Shoto nodded, and Touya's eyes were still staring in the direction of the balcony.

Aizawa sighed and sat down on the couch beside Touya. "He's going to be okay. Recovery Girl healed the injuries on his stomach and leg. He might be a little anemic due to the blood loss and his feathers are a little ruffled, but it looks like that's only superficial. We couldn't see any obvious injuries to his wings, but we'll see to it again when he wakes up."

Touya closed his eyes and nodded, but said nothing.

"Does he have a futon or something? We shouldn't move him too much, but he shouldn't be laying in a pool of his own blood either... Sorry," he added, when Touya grit his teeth.

"In the upper bedroom cupboard."

Shoto stood up. "I'll get it." Touya nodded, eyes now fixed on the floor.

"You did good." Aizawa's voice was calm, repeating Natsuo's words, but Touya couldn't really agree.

"No, I did nothing."

"You called for help and did everything you could in your situation."

Touya huffed out a laugh. "Right."

Aizawa's eyes wandered to the blister of pills on the coffee table. "That's pretty strong stuff."

Touya's gaze followed. "It is."

Aizawa was silent, obviously not knowing what to say. But Touya was too tired to explain. His brother's teacher didn't need to know everything that was wrong with him. He didn't owe people an explanation, just because they asked.

Aizawa seemed to understand, because he changed the subject.

"Your brother called me in the middle of the night, telling me that Hawks had been injured and that you were in trouble. He requested Recovery Girl's help and me to bring Shoto."

Typical Natsuo, thinking about every possibility. But having Shoto and his teacher here reminded Touya of his own incompetence, and it stung. And he felt bad about Shoto missing sleep because of him. "He shouldn't have come. I could have handled it on my own."

Aizawa didn't seem convinced. "No, I think it's a good thing he came. Even though as his teacher, I cannot say that emergencies in the middle of the night are good for his academic performance."

Touya bit his lip. Was this a lecture now? He didn't ask for any of this. "I said he-"

"But knowing your family is in trouble is worse. I came with him to help, not to invade your privacy."

Shoto returned with the futon, laying it down beside the couch. Touya looked at the cream coloured fabric of the comforter. All the bedding and pillows Keigo owned were cream. He never noticed before.

"I think we should place it beside the couch, so he's by your side when he wakes up."

Touya furrowed his brows.

"Alright, let's put the couch table against the wall and we can put it on the rug over here." Aizawa sprung into action, moving the furniture out of the way for Shoto to prepare the bed. Touya watched the flurry of motion with a feeling that his brain was somehow too slow to process what was happening. Aizawa walked over to Natsuo, and they both carried Keigo's limp body to the couch. Shoto made sure the wings were not dragging on the ground.

Touya blinked, and Natsuo was tugging Keigo in, brushing the hair out of his face.

A part of Touya's brain thought about how upset Keigo will be when he learns that his jacket and pants were ruined. He loved the soft fur lining...

Touya blinked again, and suddenly the world around him was moving, tilting like he had drunk too much alcohol. But he didn't drink anymore. Not since that one incident a few years back. And especially not when he was alone. But there were black spots entering his vision now, and he looked at Keigo's red wings, so much more vibrant than the blood that was on his hands... still is on his hands? Was there still blood? Keigo's blood... that he couldn't stop... but he was safe now... was-

"Touya!" Natsuo reached for the shoulder of his brother to keep him from sliding off the couch. Gentle hands pressed Touya's body into the couch pillows, and the red colour disappeared from his view. "Kei..." he mumbled, trying to fight the heaviness in his limbs.

"He's right here, he's okay. Let him sleep for a while." Natsuo's hand brushed a strand of white hair out of Touya's eyes. "You should, too. I'll stay, I promise..."

Touya let his arm slide down onto the floor, fingers brushing lightly against feathers, before the darkness wrapped itself like a blanket over him.