Something was brushing against his wing. Just barely, but it was enough to make them twitch. Keigo's brows furrowed, and he opened his eyes, blinking against rays of sunshine too bright on his face.
Where was he? Why was it so bright outside? He'd been on a mission, they were supposed to clean up and debrief in the afternoon, but then there was that guy and the other woman, and the fight and-
His eyes shot open, memories flooding back like a movie in his head. The ambush, the team being compromised, the fight, him making it out and flying back home... Home, not to the commission, because he didn't know if they were waiting for them, what they had told them, who would-
His breathing became more and more erratic, more memories of the last 12 hours coming back to him: The adrenaline rush, wind so sharp it cut his face under the visor, the strange warm sensation under his jacket, the numbness... The crash landing on his balcony. He'd made it inside, barely hanging on, and then there had been Touya's voice.
His hands had been shaking, he had said something to him and Keigo had tried to tell him what had happened, but the darkness had been too heavy...
"Keigo?" There was a voice to his left, and a young man with white hair and a grey hoodie walked over to his...futon?
"Hey, I'm glad you're awake. How are you feeling? Any pain or discomfort?" The man crouched down next to him and Keigo instinctively flinched away.
"Where am I? Where's-" He bit his tongue before he let Touya's name slip out. He wouldn't give his boyfriend's name to this complete stranger who held him captive laying on a floor in... an apartment?
Keigo looked around, noticing the coffee table pushed against the wall, the tv and familiar open kitchen, the balcony door and hardwood floor softened by a rug underneath the futon. This was his apartment. And the stranger with the white hair was extending a hand towards his shoulder and his eyes were so familiar and-
"Keigo, everything is okay. You're home, you're safe. Touya is here."
He looked up and into the face of-
"Natsuo?"
"Hey." Touya's brother smiled that soft smile he always wore when Touya argued with him even though he knew he was wrong. "Welcome back. We were worried about you."
We.
"Why are you here?" Keigo's voice was hoarse, limbs still too heavy to move. But there was no pain, just a slight pressure on his stomach and leg, and a tiredness in his bones.
"You crash landed on your balcony last night and scared Touya half to death. He called me."
"W-Where is he?"
Natsuo raised his chin, and his eyes wandered to the couch next to Keigo's futon. When Keigo followed his gaze, he noticed a hand hanging off the seat, fingers slightly brushing against his outstretched wings. Touya was sleeping on his side with his mouth open, one arm hanging over the edge and his fingers and feet slightly twitching.
"He'll be out for a little while longer I think. It's been one hell of a night."
A knot of guilt built up in Keigo's stomach. Touya looked exhausted, clothes rumpled, hair a mess, and a few drops of blood on his shirt.
A door creaked, and someone else shuffled into the living room.
"Morning... Do you think I can take a coffee or something from the kitchen?"
Keigo turned his head slowly, and saw Shoto freeze mid-step. "You're awake."
He furrowed his brow at the presence of the youngest Todoroki. Wasn't he supposed to be at UA?
Natsuo noticed Keigo's confusion and answered the silent question: "I had to call in a little help tonight."
Shoto walked over to them and crouched down next to Natsuo. "Hey, Keigo. Glad to see that you're feeling better."
Keigo hesitated. "Don't you have school?"
Natsuo's lip quirked up, but Shoto answered the question with a deadpan face: "Yes."
Before Keigo could ask further, he added with a smile: "Mr. Aizawa released me for today. He said family is important and let me spend the night here. I have to be back by dinner time."
Keigo's mind was spinning. He was Touya's boyfriend, yes. And he had a very bad night going by the presence of both Natsuo and Shoto, but that didn't explain why Shoto was released on family issues because he technically wasn't family and didn't even have much contact with Shoto besides Touya and maybe the odd dinner arrangement, and Natsuo too was-
A finger brushed against his feathers, sending a shiver through Keigo's body. Touya's fingers moved in his sleep.
"He's waking up?" Shoto peeked at the couch, but Natsuo shook his head lightly.
"I think he'll sleep for a while longer. He took double."
Keigo froze. What?
"Right... Should I make something to drink? Keigo, do you want a tea or hot chocolate? Recovery Girl says we need sugar after her healing quirk."
Keigo was still thinking about Natsuo's comment when Shoto returned a few minutes later with three cups of hot chocolate and a couple of granola bars that Keigo kept in his pantry for emergencies.
They helped him sit up, and even though the nearly healed wound on his stomach was still a bit tender, he felt surprisingly good. Just his wings were sore, like someone had brushed them too long against the grain. He would have to preen them later...
"So... um... What exactly happened yesterday?" Keigo bit his lip. He couldn't remember anything except seeing his apartment complex in the distance and praying he would make it... which he obviously did.
Natsuo told him about Touya's panicked 3am phone call, him rushing over and calling Aizawa on the way. How he brought Shoto and Recovery Girl along to help, how they did their best to help him.
The only thing Natsuo glossed over was the fact that Touya was apparently knocked out. Keigo noticed that, and his stomach sank.
"I'm sorry..." The mug in his hand was warm, and he closed his hands around it, letting the warmth seep through his body.
"Don't be. You needed help." Natsuo's voice was gentle.
Keigo grit his teeth and closed his eyes for a moment. He had needed help because he'd been incompetent. He hadn't been careful enough. They should have seen this coming. And now he had some explaining to do.
"No, I should have gone somewhere else. To my team, to the commission, not here..."
"Touya said they were compromised." Natsuo looked at him over the rim of his cup.
"We thought so, but I couldn't know for sure," Keigo added in a small voice. He stared into his own mug, eyes distant.
"So, it was dangerous?" asked Shoto, and Keigo snorted.
"Everything is..." He was silent for a moment and reached for Touya's hand still hanging from the couch seat. It was cold, and Keigo brushed a thumb over the knuckles, careful to not scratch with his talons. "That's why I shouldn't have brought you into this."
"Technically, Touya did." Natsuo sipped his hot chocolate, eyes wandering to the still sleeping form of his brother. "And rightfully so. I mean, I would freak out too if my partner was bleeding out in front of me and I couldn't do anything about it."
Keigo paused. He hadn't thought of that. Of what it meant for Touya.
"Oh god... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Hang on, I think you misunderstood something." Natsuo laid a hand on Keigo's suddenly trembling hand, holding the mug steady. "You did the right thing to come home. You were hurt, you didn't know where to get help. I would have done the same."
"But Touya-"
"Had a bad day. Believe me when I tell you that he feels as guilty as you do right now."
No. Keigo grit his teeth. "He shouldn't... He- I should have..."
"Keigo." Shoto's eyes were stern, and Keigo felt strange to be scolded by a teenager. "It's not your fault."
Keigo raised his hand and brushed a strand of white hair out of Touya's eyes. He didn't stir. The bad days had gotten less and less over the last months, and most of the time, Keigo was home for them. He avoided going on longer missions and made sure Touya was never alone when he had to up his dosage. This time, it had been bad timing. Very bad timing.
"I shouldn't have left him alone." The hair under his fingers was soft, talons scratching lightly over his scalp.
"That's not your responsibility, and you know that." Natsuo's voice was quiet but serious. They've had this conversation a thousand times before. Keigo had struggled with Touya's health problems for a long time. He'd been mad at Keigo for treating him like a fragile thing in the beginning, before explaining everything about his DQD. Touya had been angry at himself for not being able to do certain things, and Keigo hadn't known how to deal with it.
But by now they had established a routine, talked about their problems most of the time, and supported each other.
"He'd been terrified." Natsuo's eyes followed Keigo's hand that was slowly stroking through Touya's hair. "You were just laying there and he couldn't help you, wasn't strong enough to put pressure on your wound. He did everything he could, and me and Recovery Girl took care of you. But Touya thought he'd lose you. Even when Shoto showed up to help, he refused to leave your side."
Touya's breathing was even, and he showed no sign of pain or discomfort. On bad days, when he took the strong meds, it could happen that there were side effects. He'd sleep for long periods of time or lose consciousness, have difficulties with balance or vision.
Keigo smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "He'd refused to take the stronger dose, even though he was in pain." It was a statement, not a question, and Natsuo nodded.
"See? You're both too suborn for your own good." He stood up and held out a hand to Keigo.
"Come on, I think you should get cleaned up. There's still blood everywhere."
It was just then that Keigo noticed the stains on his clothes. They had removed his flight jacket and cut open the pants and shirt underneath, so he was basically only wearing underwear and scrabs. "Oh..."
Natsuo helped him into the bathroom and gave him some sweatpants and a hoodie through the half opened door. "I'll stay here, just shout if you need help."
The door closed with a soft click and Keigo sighed. He appreciated Natsuo giving him privacy. It would be weird to get showering help from Touya's little brother. But then again, he had probably seen more than he would be comfortable with last night.
The guilt came washing over him again and he sat down onto the little showering stool. He had made them all worry. He had made Touya worry. He had put his boyfriend in danger, knowing what it could do to him. He was the reason Touya had refused to take his medication. He should have been there for him. Should have comforted him. He shouldn't be the reason half of the Todoroki family was currently sleep deprived in his apartment, calling in favors with Pro Heroes and missing school.
God, Shoto of all people should have nothing to do with this. He's still a kid.
There was a small knock on the door and Natsuo's voice: "Do you need help with the bandages?"
Keigo looked down and true, there were bandages around his stomach and leg. He hadn't noticed them, which meant he was still more out of it than he had thought.
"Um... maybe?" he answered, and the door opened with a creek.
Natsuo came in, closed the door behind him and crouched down in front of Keigo. He had a pair of scissors in his hand. "Sorry about that. We put them on, just in case. But it seems that the wounds have healed enough, so you won't need them anymore."
He cut through the gauze on his stomach, and then on his thigh, revealing patches of raw, pink skin and dried blood. "The area might still be a bit tender, so be careful with pressure."
Keigo's eyes were fixed on the tiled wall in front of him. "Okay..."
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Natsuo stand up and gather the scrabs of gauze and ruined clothing from the floor. He was glad to still be wearing his underwear. This situation was more than awkward, and Natsuo seemed to sense his unease. "Sorry. I'll be outside again. Take your time." He turned around and closed the door again with a soft click. Keigo let out a breath and removed the rest of his clothes with shaky hands.
The water was warm and felt like heaven on his tense muscles. He had carefully washed away the grime and dried blood from his skin, dabbed at his feathers the best he could and was now letting the shampoo rinse out of his blonde strands. The showerhead holder was mounted to the wall, and he just sat under the stream of warm water, eyes closed.
He could sit here for hours. The shower had always been the best place for him to clear his head, beside the sky above the clouds. He didn't want to turn the water off, he wanted to remain in this little liminal space where he didn't have to face other people or his own thoughts, so he didn't for a while.
When the water turned cold, he reluctantly turned the handle. His wings were heavy on his back and he dried himself off before putting on the sweatpants and hoodie that Natsuo had laid out for him.
Even though his injures were mostly healed, Keigo's whole body was still sore, and the pink marks on his skin felt like a nasty sunburn. So, Recovery Girl's abilities weren't a miracle cure, but accelerated healing. And his body still had some work to do. He was tired...
Keigo shuffled to the door and stepped into the hallway again, water still dropping from his feathers. Normally, he would have kept the wings dry or use a blow-dryer, but he was too exhausted for both.
"Hey, feeling better?" Shoto came around the corner from the kitchen aisle and paused, watching the water drip onto the hardwood floor.
"A little. At least the dirt and blood are gone..." Keigo held onto the little sideboard in the hallway.
"Uhm... I don't know how you usually do it, but do you let them airdry? Because maybe you should dry off the primaries a little, they're dripping..." Shoto's eyes were fixed on the little puddle that formed on the floor.
Keigo could sense that Touya's little brother was nervous. They hadn't talked much outside of school or the few times he had been over at their apartment. He smiled, but his eyes betrayed the tiredness Keigo felt in his bones. "I normally use a blow-dryer. But..."
"I can help you, if you want?"
Keigo's eyes wandered to the living room. Touya was still laying on the couch and hasn't moved an inch. Natsuo was sitting on the loveseat, scrolling through his phone and sipping at a mug. When he felt Keigo's eyes on him, he raised his head and smiled.
"No, you don't have to do that. I'll just let them airdry and mop the floor tonight or something." Keigo averted his eyes. No way would he bring Shoto into this more than he already had.
"Are you sure? Because it looks like you're shivering."
It was a little cold, Keigo had to admit. The hot shower and wet feathers on his back weren't a good combination, and god was he tired.
"Fine... whatever."
He turned around, Shoto on his heels, and walked back to the bathroom.
Shoto closed the door behind him and dragged the showering stool in the middle of the room. "Sit down."
He took the hairdryer from the shelf and plugged it in. "Do I have to watch anything? Or just...?"
"Just blow-dry them. Try not to go against the grain and hold it from above..." Keigo answered in a quiet voice. Why did he agree this easily? He'd just said that Shoto shouldn't be here, and now he let him blow-dry his wings?
He switched on the device, and Keigo shivered when the warm air ruffled his feathers. They couldn't talk over the noise, so he just closed his eyes and tried to ignore the feeling bubbling in his stomach. Useless. Annoying. Incapable.
It takes long for his wings to dry completely. For a normal bird, sun-drying can take several hours, and even though he had modern technology, the sheer size of his wings normally made this an hour-long process, too. Shoto worked methodically, and after around 45 minutes, his right wing was completely dry, dowry feathers puffy and primaries shining in the bathroom light. Shoto switched off the blow dryer and motioned for Keigo to turn around.
"Now I see what Touya means. They're getting really soft."
Shoto moved on to the second wing, and the tension eased from Keigo's shoulders a little more. The warm air ruffling his feathers was like static to his senses, but the good kind. Like the sharp wind at top speed above the clouds, brushing through the sensitive feathers.
Shoto's hands moved carefully, holding the blow-dryer at an angle to keep the air blowing down against the feathers, using his other hand to brush down a few stray ones to keep them straight. It wasn't exactly preening, but still a demonstration of trust. And Shoto seemed to be aware of it.
The second wing didn't take as much time, given the feathers had some time to air-dry, but after more than an hour on the shower stool, Keigo's muscles protested violently.
"Wait, let me just... " He leaned down between his legs, stretching his back muscles and letting his arms hang loosely at his side. "God... "
"We're done anyway, I think they are completely dry." Shoto put the blow dryer back on the shelf. "Are you okay?"
Keigo nodded. "Just a little sore."
"Recovery Girl's quirk heals the injury, but the body needs a little time to adjust. You'll probably feel like that for the next two days or so." Shoto sounded like he knew that from experience.
Keigo sighed. "You know, you shouldn't be here helping me with this. You should be at school, or at least in your bed, sleeping."
Shoto didn't move, and when Keigo got up again, he looked into very serious two-toned eyes.
"I'm a hero course student. Rescue is part of my training. I want to help people, just like you do." Shoto said this with an intensity that made Keigo bite his tongue.
"I know kid, that's all very honorable, but I-"
"Keigo, if it makes you feel better, I came here for Touya, not for you."
But Touya needed help because of my incompetence!
Keigo took a deep breath. "Yes, but I was the reason he-"
"Hey. Natsu told you already: Don't feel guilty for needing help. It's hard sometimes, I know. But people care about you." He smiled. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but you would have done the same if it was Touya."
Keigo wanted to reply, when there was a sudden crash coming from the kitchen, followed by a muttered curse.
They looked at each other for a second, before Keigo opened the door and stepped out into the hallway on wobbly legs, followed closely by Shoto.
"Everything okay?" Before they had reached the kitchen, Natsuo stepped into their path, holding them back.
Keigo could see Touya over his shoulder. He was crouching down on the kitchen floor, apparently picking something up that had shattered on the tiles.
"Wait, Keigo." Natsuo's voice was hushed, as if he didn't want his brother to hear him. "Let him deal with it. He wouldn't let me help him... said he needed to do it alone."
It looked like Touya had dropped a tray of mugs, sending broken ceramics sprawling over the kitchen floor. Keigo's heart clenched. He knew what Touya was trying to do.
"Don't worry, I know." He walked around the Todoroki brothers and into the kitchen, one hand on the wall to steady his still wobbly legs. He stopped at the kitchen counter, not wanting to step into the mess on the floor and keeping his distance to Touya.
"Hey..." His voice was soft, but Touya whipped his head up as if he had shouted. His eyes grew wide and he stood up, hands slightly shaking.
"Kei..." Touya walked a few steps towards him, and Keigo closed the distance between them in a heartbeat. Shaky hands grabbed his shirt and white hair tickled the sensitive skin on his neck.
"You're okay..." Touya's voice was quiet and muffled through the fabric of his shirt. "I-I'm so sorry. I should have- I... I couldn't- and you were..."
Keigo's talons scratched softly over Touya's scalp. "Sh, it's okay. I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have put you in that situation..."
Touya froze suddenly. "What do you mean?" He lifted his head, and the dark circles under his eyes made the turquoise strikingly vibrant. There was something in his eyes that Keigo couldn't place, and it made him nervous.
He swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. "I mean I should have dealt with this differently. I put you in danger, and I'm sorry you had to-"
"Keigo." Touya's eyes were hard, his voice dangerously low. "Don't say it." He was gritting his teeth, and Keigo noticed the way his fingers closed around the fabric of his shirt.
"Don't make it sound like I was a damsel you had to protect because I swear to god I will burn down this kitchen and I don't care if it would put me in hospital for a week."
You would have done the same if it was Touya.
Keigo swallowed again. Shit.
"I found you bleeding on the goddamn living room floor, and I wasn't able to help you. You came home because it is a place where you're safe. And I couldn't keep you safe."
This conversation was not like he had planned it to be. Keigo didn't want Touya to blame himself for something that had been his fault alone.
"And you didn't take care of yourself because of me. Your brother told me that you didn't take your meds-"
"Because I was worried about you! I didn't want to be out of it when you weren't home! And I was right to be worried."
"I'm sorry I haven't-"
"Oh no, don't go down that road, Keigo. You didn't do anything wrong. You needed help and I couldn't-!" There was a choking sound coming from Touya, and Keigo realized that he was holding back tears. "I couldn't-"
Suddenly, the grip on Keigo's shirt was gone and Touya stumbled back a few steps, slamming into the kitchen counter, eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears. His fingers were twitching and a small blue flame danced on his palm.
Keigo could see Natsuo moving out of the corner of his eye. Touya flexed his hands, the flames died down but his breathing picked up. Keigo took a step towards him, and he flinched.
"Don't. I-I don't want to hurt you."
"It's okay..." Keigo took another step, and another, like he was cornering a wild animal. The ceramic shards broke under his feet and Keigo was glad to be wearing house shoes. He reached for Touya's trembling hand and could feel the heat radiating from his skin. His fingers brushed slowly over his knuckles, while golden eyes searched for blue ones.
"It's okay..."
Touya was full body trembling now. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, held it, and breathed out slowly. Keigo kept stroking his hand and matched his breathing.
When he was sure that there were no more flames licking at his skin, Keigo drew Touya in for a hug. He didn't move at first, but then trembling hands gripped the back of Keigo's shirt with such a force that his wings ruffled.
"There was blood everywhere..." Touya's voice was so small, his face buried in the crook of Keigo's neck. "I thought you were going to die."
Keigo closed his eyes and hugged him tighter. "I didn't. You saved me."
People care about you. You would have done the same for Touya.
"No, Natsu, Sho and his teachers saved you. I-"
"You called them." Keigo pushed Touya away just enough to look him in the eyes. "It's okay to ask for help. You did everything you could. But please..." He reached up and brushed a talon through Touya's hair. "Next time, try not to put your own health behind that of others."
"You-"
"I want to smack you both on the head, you know that, right?" Natsuo stood in the hallway between living room and kitchen, putting Touya's cuffs on the side table. He must have reached for them when he saw the flames but decided they were not needed.
"So, to clear this up: Keigo, you didn't put Touya in danger, he manages that all by himself because he's stubborn like that." Natsuo gave Touya a stern look. "And Touya, it is true that you couldn't do first aid yesterday, but you did the right thing and called someone who could. So please, stop blaming yourselves for something that was just a mix of bad timing and awful circumstances." He took a deep breath and rolled his eyes before he continued: "And please stop getting yourselves in trouble at 3 in the fucking morning because I'm a med student, but even my nerves and sleep rhythm can't take that." He stepped forward and drew Touya and Keigo in a hug. "Okay? Idiots." He whispered, and Touya could swear there was a little tremor in his voice.
When they drew away again, Touya smiled with puffy eyes, and Keigo might had to fight the urge to kiss him right on the spot. Instead, he reached for his hand again and drew lazy circles on his knuckles.
"Ehm, I'll just clean this up, okay?" Shoto stood in the middle of the kitchen with a broomstick and eyed the mess on the floor.
"No, give me that. I made the mess; I'll clean it up." Touya grabbed the cleaning supplies from his brother and ushered them all out of the way. Shoto gave Keigo a look and shrugged, before handing him the dustpan.
With all broken mugs and coffee stains out of the way, Touya leaned against the counter and took a deep breath.
"Hey, all good?" Keigo stepped beside him, hand brushing against Touya's fingers.
"Yeah... Sorry for that outburst, just-"
"No, you were right. I didn't think about your view of the whole thing. I was worried about you too, but it must have been terrifying for you. And I'm sorry."
"Keigo-" Touya's fingers twitched again, but before he could say anything else, Keigo cut him off.
"No, listen." He didn't look at Touya, but kept his eyes firmly on the kitchen counter in front of him. Natsuo had dragged Shoto out of the kitchen when they had finished cleaning up, after giving both Keigo and Touya a look that said something like "talk about it."
"When I say I'm sorry, I don't just mean that I put you in danger. I know that it's your decision, even though I can say that I don't always agree with it." He huffed out a smile and Touya's lip quirked up.
"I know."
"I mean that I'm sorry that I made you worry." Keigo swallowed. "I should have taken better care... If the roles had been reversed, I don't know what I would have done."
Keigo remembered the first time he had seen Touya's quirk hurting him. The times when the meds hadn't kicked in fast enough, the times they had sat in a scorched bathtub, crying, skin red and raw and burning against the cold tiles. "No, that's not true... I think I would have done the same." He would have done everything he could to be sure Touya was safe.
Touya's hand wrapped around Keigo's wrist, and cool fingers brushed against his chin, turning his head.
"See? So stop blaming yourself." He leaned in, and Keigo closed his eyes as their lips brushed against each other.
"Same goes for you," he whispered, looking at Touya with hooded eyes. "And thank you."
Touya's brows furrowed in a silent question.
"For saving my life, hotstuff."
Keigo leaned in again and kissed Touya on the top of his nose, smiling at the color slowly rising in his cheeks. The nickname always worked.
"Any time," Touya mumbled in response, trying to hide his face.
"You're okay?" Keigo's fingers brushed against Touya's neck, feeling his heartbeat flutter under the skin. He wasn't sure if it was from quirk use or... other things.
"Yeah... just tired."
"Are you sure?" Touya wanted to make a face, but remembered the way in which Keigo's eyes had widened in shock just a few minutes ago. You would be worried, too.
"Yes, I'm sure. I've slept like a stone. You know how the pills knock me out..."
"I don't just mean tired." Keigo's eyes wandered to Touya's hands and back to his face. He tried to figure out if he put on a show, Touya realized.
There was still a slight tremble to his limbs, and the feeling of cotton candy in his brain. The emotional outburst had scared even him a little, but Touya blamed it on the shock of the last 24 hours.
"I still feel a bit rattled. And you can't tell me that you're feeling great either."
It was true. The shower had helped, but Keigo still felt like he had been run over by a truck.
"Not really... I think today is a designated couch day. Cuddles obligatory."
Touya smiled. "Sure."
Keigo's eyes wandered through the kitchen.
"So," he cleared his throat. "You wanted to make coffee for everyone? Can I help?"
Touya noticed the way in which Keigo asked a question instead of making a demand, and it made him feel a little less useless than just moments before. He grabbed the glass pot from the counter.
"Can you fill up the water? It's still a little heavy for me to carry."
"Sure."
Touya opened the cabinet and took out four new mugs, making a mental note to order some more to replace the broken ones soon.
"Fill up the machine? Or do you want to do it the traditional way?" Keigo stood at the sink, holding the kettle in hand with a questioning look.
"Traditional."
Keigo nodded and put on the kettle, while Touya carefully placed the French press back onto the counter. The glass pot was his favorite way to make coffee, and after the disaster of a machine brewed coffee yesterday, he longed for the stronger taste.
Keigo placed the airtight box with freshly ground beans beside him on the counter, and reached for the scale in the drawer.
"How strong should I make it?" Touya placed the glass pot onto the scale and began measuring the coffee with a spoon.
"How much can your brother take?"
He snorted. Natsuo had started drinking coffee at uni, and preferred espresso shots to traditional brew. Keigo on the other hand was more of a "do you need coffee with your milk and sugar" kind of guy.
He put six heaped spoonsful of grounded coffee into the pot, leveling the scale at around sixty grams and put it back into the drawer. The kettle clicked, signaling that the water was boiling. Touya reflexively turned around, but Shoto was still sitting in the living room with Natsuo. He had made sure to buy an electric kettle that didn't whistle, but Shoto was still wary around those kinds of kitchen supplies. Maybe he should have taken the machine after a-
"Can I pour, or do we need to wait for it to cool down more?"
Keigo's voice brought him back from his thoughts.
"Yeah, let it sit for a minute or so. Then you can pour it over. But only half way-"
"-because you need to stir. I know." Keigo placed a kiss on the back of Touya's head. "Do we still have oatmilk in the fridge, or do I need to get some from the pantry?"
"Should still be in the fridge. I opened a new carton yesterday."
Keigo nodded and took out the milk and placed it beside the little box of sugar cubes on the counter. He gave Touya a side eyed look and noticed him fumble with the hem of his shirt.
"Right, the water should be okay now, get your spoon ready."
The smell of coffee filled the kitchen when Keigo carefully poured the hot liquid, waiting patiently for Touya to stir the grounds, and filled up the pot completely. Touya placed the lid onto the rim, plunger hovering just above the coffee.
"I love that smell." Keigo placed his head over the pot and took a deep breath. "If only coffee would taste like it smells."
"Your taste buds are still working. One day they'll just die and you can drink it black like your soul."
Keigo looked offended. "Wait, is that true? Who told you that?"
"Which part?" There was a little, evil smile on Touya's lips. It took a moment for Keigo to register the punchline.
"Very funny." He rolled his eyes, and Touya laughed. The sound left a warm feeling in Keigo's stomach.
"My biology teacher. But she also thought that you wouldn't need period pads at night because gravity... So, I'm not sure about the truth of any of her teachings."
Keigo looked mortified.
"Exactly. Therefore, keep drinking your coffee with milk and sugar. My soul is dark enough for the two of us. And I like it sweet, too." Touya placed the mugs neatly onto the tray again.
Keigo just stood there, gears turning in his head. How could he go from nearly having a breakdown to cracking jokes in a matter of minutes?
The ceramic mugs clanked together and Touya's shoulders tensed for half a second. Anyone else might have missed it, but Keigo was too familiar with the scene.
Touya's hands were still shaking.
He glanced over at the kitchen clock. The coffee had one more minute to go, so he carefully stepped behind Touya at the counter. He let his hands brush against his arms, ignoring the way Touya's breath stuttered. He didn't say anything, just laid his head onto Touya's shoulder.
"What are you doing?" Touya's voice was quiet and slightly thin, betraying the tension in his frame.
Keigo pressed a soft kiss against his partner's neck.
"Nothing..." he breathed against Touya's neck and smiled. "You like it sweet, huh?" He could feel his pulse quicken, but there was still a tension in his jaw. Touya stood perfectly still, hands gripping the tray to hide the tremor, and Keigo bit his lip.
"I think the coffee is almost ready."
Touya cleared his throat. "Right..." He took a step to the side and Keigo gave him room, not showing any sign that he had seen his hands shaking.
Touya reached for the French press and paused. The coffee grounds were floating at the top of the pot, making a good two centimeters. He pressed down on the plunger, but instead of pushing down the grounds, his hand began to tremble.
He wasn't strong enough. His muscles protested the resistance of a fucking coffee plunger.
He pressed down harder, laying his right hand on top of his left, and the pot tilted slightly to the side.
"Woah, careful..." Keigo's hand flew forward to steady the pot and Touya wanted to scream right there and then on the spot.
"Are you fucking kidding me..." he mumbled through gritted teeth and felt the telltale burn in his eyes. He wasn't going to cry in this fucking kitchen over the fact that he couldn't even make himself a coffee and needed-
"Touya." Keigo's soft voice made him snap up, tears of shame and disappointment still burning in his eyes. "Can I help you?"
Keigo's eyes were soft. Not condescending. Not demanding. No pity, just... care. A question.
No. Touya wanted to answer that he could do it alone. NO. Touya wanted to scream that he didn't need help, that he wasn't weak, that he could make his family a fucking coffee on his own because if not then he didn't know how to handle the awkward tension in the air between them all and he would feel-
Soft fingers brushed away a stray tear that had spilt over. It was rare that Touya could produce enough tears to cry like other people, messy and all. Normally, they just made his eyes puffy and red. He sniffed and set his jaw. Pathetic.
Keigo waited for an answer. He never acted without asking for Touya's permission first, and as much as he loved that on any other day, right now it made him painfully aware of his weakness.
"I can make a coffee on my own." He grit out. The irony didn't go over his head that he had asked Keigo to pour the water not minutes ago. But this was different.
"I know. It's just..." Keigo was scrambling for words, and it made Touya even more angry at himself. He was being unfair, but he couldn't stop.
"Just what?" he spat. There it was again. The shame, the disappointment, the anger he had tried to bury with jokes and rambling. That he threw out at people even though it was directed at himself.
He had lied. He wasn't just tired. He was exhausted. Angry. And fighting the urge to hit something. He could feel the heat rising under his skin.
Weak. Pathetic.
He should have taken the cuffs. He should have screamed in Keigo's face that he couldn't do anything. Not controlling his quirk. Not helping him. Not making a fucking coffee on his own.
"You always say the big one is difficult to press down. Because the filter is so fine, and the beans are ground differently?"
Touya's eyes narrowed, but he paused, searching Keigo's face for something he didn't even know himself.
"A-And I am not trying to tell you that you can't do it." Keigo added swiftly.
Was he... rambling?
"It's just... I see you struggling. And I want to help. But it's totally fine if you don't want it. You can-"
"Fine," grunted Touya, barely audible.
"-just let me carry the tray and-"
"I said fine, just do it! The coffee is going bitter if it stays in too long anyway." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, jaw still tense, before he took a step back to let Keigo grab the coffee pot. But Keigo just stepped beside him and reached for his hand.
"No. I'm not doing it for you. Put your hands back on the plunger."
Touya sighed. "Keigo, that's-"
"Do it. Come on." Keigo took his hand and placed it slowly back onto the wooden tip of the plunger. Touya followed the movement with his eyes, not daring to look anywhere near Keigo's face. Especially not when his hand didn't move away.
"Good, on three. One, two-"
Touya pressed the plunger down, but when his muscles protested again, Keigo's steady grip took over and guided his hand further with soft pressure. The coffee inside the pot gurgled as it was pressed through the fine filter, which gathered all the grounds at the bottom of the pot. Keigo let go.
"Okay, I'll put it in the cups. And to avoid the next mess, I'd say the others come and get their cup themselves, because let's be real: I won't get this tray into the living room without spilling it all across the carpet."
"Hadn't you just offered to carry it?" Touya mumbled, eyes still fixed on his shaky hand that hasn't let go of the plunger yet.
"Yeah, that was more wishful thinking I guess... Hey...?"
A hand brushed Touya's shoulder. Keigo's eyes were fixed on him, worry etched in gold. Touya loved and hated that gaze at the same time.
"Did I... Was that... not okay? I didn't want to-"
"No, it was fine..." Touya removed his hand from the pot and wanted to turn away, but Keigo caught him by the wrist.
"Wait, no. You're upset. Talk to me, Tou."
Touya let himself be turned around, and there was that caring, golden gaze again. And maybe, just maybe, a little part of Touya wanted to give in to that care. Wanted to be weak, wanted to be caught and carried and cared for. But another part felt that if he gave in, he was useless, a burden, just another damsel for the hero to safe.
The golden eyes were unmoving, and suddenly, Touya felt himself deflate. There was no reason to pretend anymore. He'd been already caught. The façade was crumbling like a cliff at storm tide.
"I hate this," he mumbled. Keigo was still holding his wrist, but Touya didn't move anymore.
"I know..."
"No you don't." the retort was harsher than Touya had planned, and Keigo flinched a little, but didn't let go. Didn't say anything. "You don't know how it feels to have your own quirk work against you. How it feels to watch everyone around you thrive and you... you... can't even make a coffee." Touya's voice trembled. "Can't even help when your partner is dying in front of you."
Keigo's heart clenched. He didn't know how to make Touya understand. And he felt even more horrible for being responsible for his boyfriend's suffering.
"And don't tell me it's okay. Because it's not. I am useless, my body is failing me for tasks that everybody else is doing in a heartbeat without thinking about it. Enji was right, I am a disappointment, and I should be grateful that anybody would want me-"
"Hey, no..." Keigo let go of his hand and grabbed his face instead, forcing Touya to look at him. "You are not a disappointment. You are not a burden. Your brothers want you, so much that they came in the middle of the night when you needed help." Something flashed in Touya's eyes, but Keigo wasn't finished yet. "And I want you. I want you so much that the first thing I thought about when I was attacked was that I had to make it home. I want you so much that the thought of you made me reach that balcony even though I should have dropped from the sky way before that. I want you so much that it hurts to see you like this."
"I'm sorry-"
"No, Touya. Don't be sorry. Be angry. Be sad. Be disappointed. Be anything you need to be. I can't take this from you or kiss it better. I know that. And to be honest, I don't know what I can say to make you understand none of this is your fault. You're doing everything you can. Sometimes even more than would be healthy." Keigo smiled, and Touya avoided his gaze. "And I don't always know what to say. Or what to do to make you feel better. But I'm here. And I'm not leaving. Even though people seem to keep trying to make me."
The kitchen was silent for a few seconds, before Touya drew Keigo into a hug. He didn't say anything, but the way in which his hands grabbed the fabric of Keigo's shirt was answer enough.
Natsuo held the coffee mug in both hands, while his eyes wandered between Keigo and his older brother. Touya was holding one of his mugs, with little ducks on it, Natsuo noted with confusion, and was biting his lip. He hadn't talked about the incident in the kitchen that him and Shoto had tactfully ignored, but the tension in the air was still tangible.
Keigo had a hand on Touya's knee, a silent sign of support that had Natsuo smiling. Whatever was still going on between the two, it seemed that they had talked about it. At least a little.
"So, uhm..." Touya's gaze wandered to his brothers, and Shoto sat up straighter on the couch.
"I just wanted to say thank you. For coming. And for helping..." Touya's mug was in a white knuckle grip, but the contents stayed inside.
Natsuo smiled. "You don't have to thank me, Touya. You know that."
"But I have to thank you. Both of you." Keigo spoke up this time, and there was something in his eyes that Natsuo would have called sorrow. But he didn't understand why. "Without you all, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. And you helped Touya when he needed it without a second thought."
"That's what family does, isn't it?" Shoto's brow was slightly furrowed, as if he didn't understand why this was a discussion topic.
"Yeah..." There was that sorrow again in Keigo's eyes. "But I'm not your family, so-"
"That's true." Shoto stated matter-of-factly, and Touya's eyes widened just a fraction. Keigo remembered the conversation in the bathroom a while ago. I came here for Touya, not for you.
"Shoto..." Natsuo didn't like the way this conversation was going, but his brother held up a hand.
"It's true that we're not related. And it's true when I said that I came here for Touya."
Keigo felt Touya tense beside him.
"But it's also true that I would have come if you'd been the one calling. You're important to my brother, which makes you important to me."
Keigo stared at him with open shock.
"I know you don't like people fussing over you, and I know that because Touya doesn't like it either. You're a good match in that regard."
Natsuo snorted.
"Yeah okay, that's enough Sho..." Touya mumbled from the couch.
"Point proven," stated Shoto and sipped from his cup of hot chocolate.
Keigo was speechless. To hear from Touya's little brother that he practically considered him family...
"I-I don't know what to say, Shoto... I-" A hand brushed over his fingers and Keigo turned his head. Touya was looking at him with such a softness in his eyes and a small smile on his lips, that Keigo could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.
"You don't have to. Just know that we're here for you if you need us. And if you'd ever break our brother's heart, we'll find you." He added without so much as a blink.
Natsuo snorted again, and even Touya had to laugh a little this time.
"Alright... not planning to." Answered Keigo, but this time the shock in his eyes was more for show than actual worry.
A warm feeling settled in his stomach and he wondered if this was what an actual family felt like. He knew that the Todorokis were far from the best example of a happy family life, but since Touya, and then his siblings had severed ties to Endeavour and lived on their own, their bond had grown.
A phone vibrated and Natsuo reached for his pocket. He took a few seconds to read the message, before looking up again. "Fuyumi is asking how you're doing."
"Did you text her last night?!" Touya looked as uncomfortable as Keigo felt. He didn't need more people fussing over him.
"No, this morning. I told her there was no need for her to come over, but she'd been asking about you two."
Fuyumi had been working as an elementary school teacher for a few years now and paid occasional visits to her brothers, but lives alone in a little flat at the outskirts of town, close to the hospital where their mom still had some outpatient treatments.
"Tell her everything is okay. And she doesn't need to worry." Touya knew she would anyway, and made a mental note to call his sister later.
"Already did. She sends love. And tells you to-"
"-look after myself. Yes, I know." Touya rolled his eyes, but the annoyance in his voice was clearly fake.
"And your boyfriend." Natsuo added with a smile and look towards Keigo.
It was strange for Keigo to have someone care about him. Touya was an exception, but every time someone else showed any kind of kindness towards him, he had the urge to deflect it. Don't worry about it. It's no big deal. I'm fine.
But the Todorokis had a way to see through that. Even through the phone.
Touya's fingers reached for Keigo's hand and he could feel the warmth settle in his stomach. You're fine. I'm here.
They decided to order takeout before Natsuo had to take Shoto back to UA in the early evening. Keigo had wanted to come with him to thank Aizawa and Recovery Girl himself, but both Natsuo and Touya had protested against him leaving the house for the next days.
"I can arrange a phone call, or a meeting for next week if you want to?" Shoto offered while putting on his shoes. Keigo still felt guilty about Shoto coming to his apartment in the middle of the night, but even more so for a Pro Hero like Aizawa and Recovery Girl to help him without a proper compensation. Or even a thank you.
He agreed to the meeting and watched Touya talk to his brother in the hallway. There were dark circles under his boyfried's eyes, and even though the shaking had gotten better over the last hours, there was still a tension in his body.
"You should probably stay in bed for the rest of the day. Call when something's up." Natsuo gave him a hug.
"Thank you." Touya closed his eyes for a second, and Keigo knew how much was left unspoken between the two.
"Anytime. You know that." Natsuo smiled and patted his brother on the shoulder before turning to Keigo.
"Than-" The words died in his throat when Keigo was drawn in a hug as well. It was short, but not less meaningful, and his feathers ruffled at the coldness of Natsuo's hands.
"Don't you dare worrying us like that again." Keigo shivered, and Natsuo drew away quickly, rubbing at his hands. "Sorry, sometimes I get a little emotional. But I mean it."
Keigo smiled. "I'll do my best."
When the door closed, Keigo turned around to find Touya leaning on the doorframe to the bedroom. His eyes were hooded and his breathing a little more labored than before.
"Hey, everything okay?" Keigo placed a hand on his cheek. It was warm.
"How are you not exhausted?" Touya's brows furrowed, but his lip quirked up to a crocked smile.
Keigo smiled and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I am exhausted. How about we put your brother's advice to heart and go to bed?"
Touya huffed out a laugh. "My brother's advice? Who said something about a designated couch day and obligatory cuddles?"
Keigo's fingers brushed against Touya's neck, before the tips of his talons wandered to his hairline, tracing lazy lines through white hair.
"Hm, maybe I did." He smiled when Touya shivered slightly under his touch. "Come on then."
Touya let himself be led into the bedroom and lowered onto the bed. The sheets were fresh and soft against his skin. "Do you need anything? Meds? A heating pad?" Keigo asked with a hushed voice that made Touya's insides melt.
"No, I have my own personal heating pad. Come here..." He pulled Keigo onto the bed beside him, mindful of his feathers that softly ruffled. Touya was used to being the little spoon due to Keigo's wings, but this time the feeling of being held was different. A reminder that Keigo was here, that he wasn't letting go and that he hadn't lost him. They intertwined their fingers against Touya's chest, and Keigo lazily stroked his hand. Touya closed his eyes and focused only on that sensation. His breath became more even, matching the rhythm of Keigo's chest rising and falling against his back. The shaking of his hands was mostly gone, only single fingers twitching from time to time, but his muscles were tired. He was tired...
"What are you thinking about, Tou?" Keigo's breath brushed against his neck and Touya opened his eyes.
That you're here. That you're safe. That I still feel weak, but I know your hand is there when I need it.
But it was difficult to put his thoughts into words that were enough to explain. "I don't know..."
Keigo pressed a kiss onto the back of his head.
"What are you thinking about?"
Keigo didn't answer for a few seconds, and Touya thought he wouldn't, when suddenly a very quiet voice filled the silence of the bedroom: "The moment we were attacked, I knew that it was bad. It was a dirty fight, they had the advantage. After all, they had been tipped off." Keigo breathed deeply, and Touya didn't dare to move. "I had only one thought: I needed to get out. And I did. I don't know how, but I did. I was running on pure adrenalin by then, and the only thing my brain could think about was keep your eyes open and move your wings." Touya bit his lip and grabbed Keigo's hand tighter. "I was afraid. I was so fucking afraid that I wouldn't make it. When I saw the building in the distance, my whole body was numb."
Touya could feel Keigo's shoulders shaking. His voice was not more than a whisper now. "I know I made it onto the balcony and into the living room somehow. I know you were there, and that I needed to tell you what happened. But it was so fucking hard to speak..."
Touya pressed a kiss onto Keigo's fingers. "You told me that your mission got compromised."
"I did? Huh..."
"Yeah... I told Aizawa, and even though I'm not sure if he understood any of my rambling, I'm sure the info got to the people that needed it." That explained why nobody had been looking for me yet, Keigo thought.
"Good... If I hadn't made it-"
"Don't go there Keigo. You did. You're here. You're okay. Don't even think about the alternative."
The grip around Touya's middle tightened. "For a moment I hadn't been so sure... I was afraid. I was so afraid that this would have been the last time I saw you. That I would die on my own living room floor and you would ha-have to watch..."
"But you didn't. You're okay."
Keigo's shoulders were still trembling and his breath caught, before turning into quiet sobbing. Touya turned around without easing out of Keigo's grip.
"Hey... Look at me. Look at me, Keigo." There were tears flowing down his face, that was already red and blotchy. "You are safe. I am here, I'm not letting you go."
The feeling of weakness that had been there just hours ago, was pushed aside by a fierce worry and protectiveness when Touya saw the tears in Keigo's eyes. "You always tell me that I can hold onto you, but now you need it as much as I do sometimes. So, hold onto me, okay?"
Keigo nodded, and Touya pulled him closer.
"Shh... You're okay. I'm okay, too. Just breathe and hold on."
Touya didn't know how long they had been laying there, but when he opened his eyes again, the sky was pink with early morning sun. Keigo was sleeping beside him, one hand brushing his forearm, and the other laying sprawled over his back. Touya tried to move, but he couldn't without risking Keigo waking up.
He raised his left hand to brush through blonde hair, when he noticed something red on his wrist. At first, he thought it was blood. He had hurt himself on sharpened feathers somehow. But by closer inspection, he could see it was indeed a feather, not bigger than his finger, wrapped around his wrist like a bracelet.
Touya brushed a finger against it and Keigo shivered in his sleep. He smiled.
Keigo's feathers were sensitive enough to pick up so much as the flutter of a heartbeat under skin.
"I'm here. You can feel it."
Not many people knew that Keigo's feathers were light, but their movement made them vibrate ever so slightly. It was nearly unnoticeable, but right now, against the sensitive skin of his pulse point, he could feel Keigo's feather vibrate in a rhythm that was close to breathing. Touya closed his eyes and kissed Keigo's forehead.
He'd have to make a report to the commission sooner or later. The aftermath of yesterday night was far from over, for both of them. Keigo stirred, before grabbing a fistful of Touya's T-shirt and settling down again, a hint of a smile on his face. Hold onto me.
"I don't deserve you Keigo, you know that...?"