authors note - please read and help me decide...
Someone asked how many chapters im planning and honestly i dont know. the plan when i first starting writing it was to have more action, maybe some Edward involvement but now im thinking well just keep it a story of their imprint developing and keep it as drama/action free as possible? let me know what you would prefer?
also i dont think i ever mentioned this. i cant imgaine this paul being 16 so for my story we are gonna say he is 19.
reminder..line break = pov change
I was still anxious, pacing the tree line. The few minutes she sat with me a couple days ago wasn't enough. I need more. The crushing guilt wasn't helping. This is my fault. I hurt her. If I had just accepted the imprint we could have avoided all of this. We're both in pain because of me.
"Maybe not." Jacob said, responding to my thoughts. "She still could have freaked and rejected it."
I sighed, not answering him. I could see her pacing in her room, her window open. A habit, she had told me, she couldn't stop doing. The leech use to climb in her window at night to watch her sleep. Creepy if you ask me, but I couldn't help but think about climbing in there myself to see her. Can't see that ending well though.
"Go. Worse thing that can happen is her telling you to leave." Jacob said. I wasn't sure that was a good idea, no matter how much I wanted to. I didn't want to force myself on her the way I sort of forced the wolf. "Won't ever get anywhere living in the woods outside her house." He wasn't wrong, but I didn't want to give her more reason to be angry at me.
"Shes already angry." Sam chimed in. They could really be annoying sometimes but I could feel their worry for me and even Bella. The imprint can in theory reject us, but we have no account of it actually happening so we have no idea how it would affect us or the wolf. Sighing, I phased.
I walked across the lawn,pausing under the tree for a few minutes before I jumped up grabbing on to a thick branch. With a swing I landed in Bella's room. She stopped pacing and stared at me in shock for a second and then wham! I looked down at the object that hit my chest and couldn't help chuckling, she really does have a short fuse. I grabbed the book off the ground, tossing it on her desk.
I smirked at her, wondering if it would make her breath hitch like it had a Sam's and said the same I did that day.. "That wasn't very nice."
Her breath did hitch and her face flushed. Anger? Attraction? Hopefully both.
"Get out!" She yelled, tossing another book my way and sitting with a huff on her bed. "Can't you just leave me alone?"
So many things I wanted to say but I needed to be careful. I chuckled again, walking closer to stand in front of her. She looked up at me, her eyes wide. "No. The wolf wants you. And as much as I tried to fight it….I want you too." So much for being careful, I thought. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, we just wanted to be close to you and I didn't know how as a man."
Her eyes got comically wide. "Who's phased right now?"
Is she really only going to spend time with me in wolf form? I rolled my eyes at myself. Of course that's how she is comfortable with me. Paul the man is a stranger. Paul the wolf was her friend and source of comfort. I shook my head at her and stepped back toward the window to give myself plenty of space. Deciding to sacrifice these pants I closed my eyes and phased. She smiled at the sight of the wolf, but quickly tried to hide it.
"She likes him more than you?" I could feel Sam's confusion and amusement but choose not to say anything. As much as I didn't like it, it made sense. She's spent time with the wolf. She just met me.
I walked back to Bella and ran my nose up her cheek, breathing deeply. She let out a large breath and her shoulders sagged. Paul the wolf brings her comfort. He purred in response. If he is what she needs, I'm okay with that. For now.
"Huh." That's all Sam said but I choose to ignore him, continuing to run my nose up her cheek. Down. Across her jaw line. Down her neck. There was a spot right under her ear that smelled particularly good. Over and over again my nose ran down her face and neck. Her hand came up, clutching a large piece of fur on my side. I slid my nose down her neck again and took another deep breath. Oops! I pulled back, sitting down. Didn't think that would happen.
Jacob was cackling in my head, despite the jealous thought he was trying to contain. "Paul the player….can't even get the girl to talk to him… but the wolf turns her on in 5 seconds."
"Jacob…shut up!" I growled at him. He whispered a sorry, still chuckling. I didn't look at Bella, just laid down beside her bed. She was still for a few moments before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. She scooted on her butt and with a plop she landed beside me.
"I would ask if could phase back but I'm assuming you'd be naked again?" She asked quietly.
I barked once. She definitely didn't want me to phase naked in front of her right now. Her scent was lingering in the air. I swung my head toward the window.
"Do you need to go?" She asked and I could hear the disappointment, even though she was trying to hide it. I shook my head but got up. Once at the window I phased and quickly jumped out the window. I heard her gasp as I landed on my feet. I ran to the tree line and grabbed an extra pair of shorts I stored there. Less than a minute later I was swing my way back into her window.
I smiled at her, trying to ignore the pleasant smell in her room. "Hi."
She looked down. "Hi."
I walked over to her bed and sat on the floor beside her. "You like me better as a wolf." It wasn't a question. I knew she did
She shrugged. "My wolf… the wolf was my friend. I trusted him. I don't know you."
I nudged her shoulder with mine. "I really am sorry. Despite the evidence, I hope you know you can trust me."
She nodded and rubbed her chest. "The ache….it's an imprint thing?"
I nodded. "It happens to me too… When we are too far apart."
"So that's why you stayed close and followed me." It wasn't a question. She knew. "Should I feel your emotions? One I was in school and all the sudden the ache was horrible. I felt….scared, excited and it wasn't my emotions. And a few times the past week I felt so anxious but it wasn't.. I don't know. It was like when Jasper manipulated my emotion."
I made a mental note to ask about Jasper. "That was the day we were chasing Victoria, I bet. You won't always feel my emotions, but if it's a strong emotion… you will. When you were in the city with Jacob I felt your fear?"
She looked up at me. "A few guys were bugging us. Scared me a bit but I was fine. Jacob punched one of them and they all left. The way the night my..the wolf was waiting at the back door?"
I nodded, sliding my hand down slowly to rest it beside her leg. "Yea, about had a panic attack waiting for you to get home to make sure you were safe." I needed to touch her. Close but not close enough. "How did Jasper manipulate your emotions?"
Her head jerked up and she stared at me for a second. "Some vampires have powers. Edward can read mind. Alice can see the future. Jasper can change emotions."
"Does the red head have powers?" I asked her, scooting my hand just a hair closer, I could feel the heat coming from her leg but wasn't quite touching yet. If she noticed she didn't day anything.
She shook her head. "I don't know. Edward didn't say."
I nodded. Just a bit closer and I'd be touching her, but no way she wouldn't notice. Suddenly she moved her leg and it hit my hand. Did she do that on purpose? Tingles starting at my hand went through my entire body. Does she feel it too?
"Hey Bella?" I whispered. She looked up at me and I could see the confusion there. "Will you go on a date with me?" Her eyes went wider than I thought possible. I've never asked a girl out before. To hang out, or hook up? Sure but never an actual date.
She shook her head slowly and frowned. "I can't."
My shoulders slumped, but I nodded. "I understand. Maybe one day."
She nodded too but didn't look convinced that one day would ever happen. "I thought this ache was because of Edward. I thought I was feeling this way because he was gone and the wolf just soothed it. A few times I thought maybe I was hallucinating the wolf to help the pain."
I nodded. She had told me or rather the wolf about the ache. It would have started not long after he left, so it made sense that her mind connected them.. "That's a fair conclusion to come to I'd think. The imprint happened right after he left."
"Did I even love him?" She asked. She looked…lost.
I shrugged, wiggling my finger against her leg. "I can't answer that."
She glared at me. "You know everything about my relationship with him. You have thoughts on the matter I'm sure."
I weighed my words carefully. "I think the relationship had a lot of risks and he obviously cared for you since he choose not to take risks that could end up hurting you. He could have not cared and risked hurting you to be more physical."
She chewed on her bottom lip for a few moments. "I know he cared about me, but did I love him?"
I shrugged, honestly not knowing the answer. "I don't know. Hearing about the relationship doesn't paint a clear picture. Do you think it really matters now that he is gone?"
"He told me we were mates. Why would he lie about that?"
"Hmm. You said you were his first relationship. Maybe he thought what he was feeling was a mate bond."
She huffed. "Maybe."
I stood up slowly, immediately missing the small amount of contact. "I should go. Sam is alone out there so." Mostly I wanted to give her space. I needed to see her but I didn't want to overstay my welcome.
She stood as well, sitting on he bed. "Yeah, of course."
I moved in front of her, staring at her face. She looked down and played with her fingers in her lap. She's nervous. Is that a good or bad thing? Slowly, giving her plenty of time to stop me I placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face. Leaning down, I kisses the top of her head, desperately wanting to kiss her but not wanting to risk her hitting me and hurting herself. "Sleep well tonight." I didn't give her time to respond, quickly jumping out of the window and phasing.
I stared at myself in the mirror after showering. As soon as Paul left I jumped in a shower needing to do …something. What happened? What was that? My wolf… I was turned on. It's not that I wanted the wolf, but I knew Paul was inside that wolf and…
"Gah!" I yelled at myself. "Stop this. He tricked you. He lied to you. You are not attracted to him." I told myself but without even thinking my fingers were running down my neck, following the path that my wolf took. What would it feel like if it was Paul's fingers following that path? His lips? His tongue? Would those tingles that I felt when his hand touch my thigh explode all over my body? Would it turn me on just as much?
I turned the sink water on, splashing cold water on my face. Apparently the cold shower wasn't enough. Huffing I went back to my room. A cold breeze hit me and I remembered that I didn't close the window. without much thought I walked over and couldn't help looking down to see if he was there.
"Paul?" I was simply curious and not hopeful at all. His head poked out of the trees. He ran up closer to the window. I ignored the voice in my head telling me that I was lying to myself because I knew he was there.
"Are you hungry?" I asked, knowing I was since I didn't eat dinner with Charlie. He started at me for a moment and his eyes shifted to my bare shoulder, his snout sniffing at the air. Oh crap! I forgot I was still in a towel.
"Sorry. Let me get dressed and I'll meet you downstairs." I blushed deeply. I slammed the window and pulled the curtains. I really hope he doesn't think I did that on purpose.
I dressed quickly, embarrassment stopping me at the top of the stairs. Just get over it, Bella. I tried to stand tall as I rounded the corner to the kitchen, but almost jumped out of my skin when I saw Paul sitting at the table. Letting out a scream, I clutched at my chest.
He raised his hands, smirking. "Sorry, you did say you'd meet me down here."
I tried to ignore the smirk, but my breath got caught in my throat again and I could feel my face heating up. "Its okay. I just thought you'd stay outside." I told him going over to the fridge to see what we had. Left over rice? I bent over to see what vegetables we had to go with a quick fried rice and when I stood up with two handfuls of vegetables Paul was right behind me. I jumped, dropping everything in my hands. He snatched them quickly and sat them on the counter, staring at me the whole time.
"Paul?" I whispered. "What…"
He cut me off, running his finger down my cheek. "I wanna kiss you. And I know you want me to. I haven't stopped smelling you since earlier in your room."
Smelling me? My face flushed. Of course he could smell that. He knew that I was turned on when my wolf… oh gosh.
"Don't be embarrassed, this is how its suppose to be. I want to kiss you and I know you want me to." His finger followed the same path his nose did earlier. "But I won't do it unless you ask."
My knees shook. He was right. I wanted him kiss me. More than I've ever wanted anyone to kiss me before, but I cant. He narrowed his eyes, staring into mine and dropped his hand. He nodded, taking a step back. "I understand."
I let out a breath and nodded. "This is too much." I whispered. "I'm still angry at you. Finding out you're my… the wolf, I was so angry at you. I still am."
He stepped closer again and tugged at my hand. Electric shot through my arm. He bent down and I felt his breath by my ear. "You can still call the wolf yours. He is yours and if you want to be, you can be his..and mine."
My legs were trembling again. What is happening to me? I've never felt like this. Nothing had ever made me feel so out of control. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You smell so good." The words purred in my ear. My entire body was trembling. My face flushed. "I know what you want. You told him. You told me. Everything you wanted out of your relationship with that leech can be yours with me." He continued to whisper but his lips moved down, barely touching the skin of my neck. My entire body was on fire.
"Paul…" It was barely a whisper. My entire body was trembling now and I felt too hot. He stood straight and smirked at me. I wanted to smack the look off his face. I wanted to pull him back. I wanted to kick him out. I wanted everything he was offering and I never wanted to see him again.
His hands went to my waist and he pulled me forward, finally shutting the door to the fridge. He pushed me backwards and my back hit the cool metal of the fridge. He followed, keeping his hands on my waist. "Let me kiss you… please. Just let me kiss you."
He was begging me. I couldn't think straight. I stared at his lips wondering how it would feel. I've never kissed anyone that wasn't as cold as ice, someone that could kiss me without worrying about killing me. He groaned, taking my silence as answer, his head going back to my neck. "Please. I know this is too fast. I know you are angry. I know. I understand but if I don't kiss you I feel like I'm going to explode. Just kiss me."
My mind whirled. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to do so much more than kiss him. "Paul…."
The front door opened and slammed shut. "Bells, you still up?"
I glanced at the clock. Midnight. When did it get so late? Paul wasn't moving. "Answer him." He whispered. He licked his lips and he was so close I could just barely feel the warmth and wetness of his tongue.
"Ye… yeah dad. Just getting a snack and going to bed!" I yelled back. I could hear him putting his belt up.
"I'm beat, so I'm heading to bed." Dad said passing the kitchen. "Paul
I better not find you in my daughter's room."
Paul chuckled again and I flushed. "Yes sir. Goodnight."
Dad mumbled something I couldn't hear but whatever it was made Paul laugh again. He shook his head, stepping back. I wanted to yell for him to get closer again.
"I'm sorry. I just… I didn't mean to push you." He looked down. "Its just hard. The wolf pushes for what he wants to."
"The wolf wants…." I trailed off, not sure how to ask what I was wanting to know.
Paul smirked. "He doesn't want you in his form, if that's what you are wondering, not really. He just wants us to have you. To mark you. To claim you as mine in every way possible."
He came closer again as he was talking. His hands back on my waist. "Oh." I said in response, the contact between us making my head spin.
His lips went back to the same spot on my neck. My heart was hammering in my chest. "Paul…" Apparently that's all I could say when he is touching me.
"I'm sorry. I know I need to stop. Tell me to stop." He whispered, actually kissing my neck now. My knees buckled, he caught me keeping his lips glued to my neck. "Tell me to stop and I will."
I couldn't think. "Don't stop." Did I say that? It sounded like me. So it had to be me.
He groaned. "Tell me to kiss you. Please. Let me kiss you."
His tongue peaked out and licked a small path on my neck. His lips were warm, but his tongue….my eyes rolled and a sound I've never heard come from my body slipped past my lips. He pulled me close and I could feel him. He slid a leg between mine and licked the same path. My head fell back and I rutted against his legs. I was no longer in control of my body. It had decided it wanted Paul and that's that.
"Its okay to want me. Just tell me and you can have anything you want." He whispered, running his hand down and around he grabbed gently at my ass.
"I'm a virgin." I blurted out, surprising myself. He stopped immediately but stayed close, lips at my neck, handful of ass in one hand.
Slowly he raised his head. Eyebrows raised. "I knew you didn't with Edward, but no one before him?"
I shook my head. "He was my first boyfriend."
His head slowly lowered back to my neck. Not kissing or licking, just laying his head there, taking deep breaths. "Oh what a sad experience for a first relationship."
Without my permission my body jerked against his leg looking for friction. He growled and grabbed my hips, keeping me still. "Your first sexual experience isn't going to be against a fridge door."
Immediately my body shut down. We can't, Bella. It's too risky, love. I want to, but we can't. Not here. Kitchen is no place to make out, Bella. I went to push Paul away but he pulled me closer. Logically I knew Paul wasn't stopping for the same reason Edward did, but it still felt like rejection.
"Stop it. I'm nothing like him. I want you. I want you right now." He thrust against me and I gasped at the sensation it caused. "You can feel how badly I want you. Don't think for even a second I don't."
I believed him. He started this, not me. I could feel him hard and ready against me. Edward would never allow our lower halves to meet when we made out and I always wondered if it was because I didn't make him hard. Not thinking, I thrust back against Paul. He growled. "I'm trying to be a gentlemen here."
I finally touched him, running one hand through his hair and pulling him closer by the shoulder with the other. He thrust against me again, once… twice and didn't stop. "If you don't stop, I'm not going to be able to."
I dug my nails in his shoulder, pulling at his hair. I could feel something building deep in my stomach and I knew I didn't want it to stop. I moved with him, meeting him thrust for thrust. I threw my head back, hitting the fridge. His lips followed, going lower than my neck to right above my breast. He licked the cleavage and growled when he couldn't get lower without fabric in the way. He went lower anyway, flicking my covered nipple with his tongue.
I moaned, louder than I should have. No one has ever touched my breast in a sexual way. Any of my body really but that wasn't a sensation I was prepared for.
"Shhh." He whispered. "Don't wanna wake anyone up."
I nodded, grinding myself harder against him. I could feel his smirk against my chest and softly he bit my nipple again.
"Oh!" The tightness in my stomach exploded, pleasure moving through my entire body. And right as it happen, Paul's lips caught mine in a kiss. I moaned in his mouth. So much heat. His tongue teased my lips and I knew he wanted me to open my mouth but I wasn't sure what to do. Id never kissed anyone with tongue. Slightly my lips parted and his tongue shot out, forcing my lips open even more and massaging my tongue with his.
"You taste so good." He growled in my mouth, never breaking contact. He hadn't stopped grinding against me and I could feel the tightness starting again
"Paul." I moaned, out of breath. His lips left mine, traveling back down to my neck
"I know." He whispered, slowing down his movement. He laid his head on my shoulder, just barely thrusting against me now "I….are you okay? I'm sorry if you aren't. I didn't mean for that to happen."
The fog was clearing and I didn't know what happened either, but something about his words turned me on even more. He didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. It was unrestrained, passionate, raw. I just experienced my first orgasm… Against my dads fridge…With a man I've barely know
She was still tightly hanging on to me. I could still feel her warmth against my thigh. She clenched her thighs and my hips thrust forward.
"Dammit. Sorry." I started to pull back from her and she tightened her hold.
"That was my first orgasm." She whispered.
I figured as much but nodded. "I'm sorry it was against a fridge. I tried to stop, but you looked so….I didn't want you to think I was anything like him. If you want me… anywhere anytime… I want you just as much. Probably more actually."
She blushed and finally loosened her hold on my hair and shoulders. "I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me."
I chuckled but decided to keep my immature comments to myself. She raised her eyebrows at me and I shook my head. I brush some hair out of her face, finally taking my thigh from between her legs. I was still hard as a rock, but this wasn't about me. "Your beautiful all the time, but when you cum…." I trailed off seeing her blushed. "Sorry."
She shook her head. "I'm… not really hungry anymore so I'm just going to put this stuff away and go to bed…."
She wouldn't look at me, just started putting the things she got out away. Panic was building inside of me. She invited me in here and this is how I behave? She'll never see me again. "Bella….I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have…"
She stopped suddenly and looked at me. "I'm not mad. I don't regret it. It's just…"
"Too fast?" I guessed. She nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry. From now on you set the pace."
She laughed, her face turning red. "I think I did set the pace. You told me to tell you to stop… I told you not to."
I rubbed the back of my neck, chuckling. "Yeah that's true. I really didn't want to get physical though, until we got to know one another….dated… I don't know the usual couple things."
She frowned so I continued, trying to explain. "I've always been a playboy… sleeping with girls, not dating or getting attached. I don't want to just sleep with you. I'm already attached but I want to be more attached."
I shuffled my feet as she started at me. "Paul… I don't know what I want. I know I have this crazy connection to a man I thought was a wolf… I know physically I'm very attracted to you, but I wasn't planning to have another relationship anytime soon and all I can offer you for now is friendship."
I raised my eyebrows at her. "Just friends? Cause honestly I've never dry humped any of my friends."
She flushed. "Maybe friends with some benefits."
I know I sound like a girl but my heart dropped. I don't want another friends with benefits, but if that's what she wants I guess I'll just have to accept it. "What about that date?"
She leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. "My wolf never kept his promise to take me for a walk…"
I smiled. I'd rather take her on a date as a man but if I'll take what I can get. "Tomorrow?"
She nodded. "Tomorrow. I work till 4 so maybe about 5."
"Okay. Great. I'll be here. I should let you sleep." I lingered, wanting to kiss her again but when she nodded I took that as the hint that I shouldn't.
As soon as I hit the tree line I phased and watched her window. A couple seconds later I saw her moving around and the light went out.
"Paul…"
"Don't start, Sam." I growled, already know what he is seeing in my head.
"Stop thinking about it then." He chuckled.
I rolled my eyes and laid down, the wolf more content than he has been since I imprinted. "Like you've ever stopped thinking about you and Emily's first time. I couldn't help it. I tried to stop."
I woke up feeling sluggish, my alarm screaming in my ear. I didn't get nearly enough sleep but it was the first night in a long time I was able to sleep without dreams. I stretched and yawned then got out of bed slowly. Without thinking I walked to the window and scanned the trees. A couple seconds later I heard the deep bark of my wolf. Of course he is here.
Running late I skipped showering and just got ready quickly and ran downstairs.
"Hey dad!" I called, running to the kitchen to grab something to go to eat. When I turned around with my pop tart dad was standing in the walk way.
"Why was Paul here at midnight?" He asked, his face serious. "Im glad you finally saw him but.."
"I know, dad. I promise it won't happen again. We just needed to… talk." My face flushed and I knew I was screwed. He narrowed his eyes at me.
"Next time you need to talk use the phone or wait till daylight." He grumbled, turning to walk away from me. He knows, he has to know. "And not in my house!"
Yup. He definitely knows. My dad knows I was hooking up with a boy in kitchen. I stood there for a second, face beet red than ran out of the house, jumping in my truck.
"Good morning."
I screamed throwing my keys in the direction of the voice.
"Dang girl. Can you please stop throwing things at me?"
My vision cleared and I saw Paul smirking me, dangling my keys in front of my face. "Why are you in my truck?"
He shrugged. "You know I'm gonna follow you, so why not catch a ride. I can phase out back at the Newton's."
I snatched the keys and turned the truck on, backing out immediately to get far away from my dad. Paul scooted to the middle seat. I glanced at him and he just smiled. I shook my head. A few seconds later his finger was running down my arm. I glanced at him again.
"Did you sleep good?" He asked, drawing random patterns on my upper arm. I nodded, keeping my eyes on the road. Only a couple more minutes in the truck. Control yourself, Bella!
His fingers moved up to my shoulder and flicked my hair off, and then up to my neck. Immediately images of grinding against his thigh, while his lips were at my neck hit me and my thighs clenched. He took a deep breath and chuckled. I hate that he can smell me.
"Stop it." I said, through clenched teeth. He held his hands up and made a show of putting them in his lap. He wasn't touching me anymore but I still couldn't get my body to relax. 'Its not fair that you'll always know."
He laughed and waved his hand toward his lap. "If you ever wanna know if I feel the same you can check anytime you want."
I clenched my hands on the willing, stopping myself from checking. I didn't say anything as I pulled into the Newton's. He rolled his eyes, getting out of the truck when I parked. "You liked feeling it last night."
I sputtered, chasing after him to say… something but as soon as I got out of the truck his was in front of me. He pushed my door closed, then turned to leaned against it. He grabbed me by the waist to pull me closer. Not here, I thought frantically, but I couldn't stop him because I didn't want to. He ran his nose up my cheek, breathing deeply.
"You have no idea how good you smell." He whispered. He kissed my cheek, the corner of my mouth and then pulled away. A blinding smile met me when I looked at him. "Have a great day at work!"
He walked around me, going toward the back of the building and I continued to stare at the spot he disappeared until a few minutes later when Mike pulled in and asked me why I was just standing there. Work dragged. Every minute felt like an hour. Mike wouldn't stop talking. Not a single soul came in the store so I had nothing to do, until around 3 when Jacob and Embry walked in. I stared at them when they got to the counter and Mike nudged me.
"How can we help you?" He asked politely. They nodded at him.
"Just here to see Bella." Embry answered, smiling at me like we were best friends. Jacob nodded. I hadn't seen or talked to any of them since that day at Sam's. Apparently agreeing to go on a 'date' with my wolf meant I'd be seeing them all.
Mike frowned. "Bella is working….."
Jacob laughed. "The store is dead. We wouldn't have stopped by if there was customers. Doesn't she get a break?"
I said nothing. Mike shrugged. "Whatever. It's dead so you can go with your friends if you want."
"I have somewhere to be soon." I told them.
Jacob laughed and tapped his head. "We know. You won't be late."
Of course they know. "Fine. If you're sure, Mike?"
He nodded so I went to clock out and get my bag. I waved to Mike on the way out and the guys followed behind me. Jacob got in the passenger seat and Embry jumped in the back. I got in slowly and started the truck. "Where to?" I asked. Jacob shrugged. Embry knocked on the glass so I rolled my window down.
"I'm hungry. Let's go see what Ms. Beth has good today." He suggested. I shrugged and pulled out of the parking lot. I asked Jacob to direct me, never have driven there before.
I watched the tree line as I drove, wondering if he was there. I assumed he was since there was no ache in my chest. "He is there." Jake chuckled, guessing why my eyes were wandering. "Literally following us like a dog."
I nodded, trying to hide a smile. Jacob laughed. "It's okay to like him, Bella. You're suppose to like him."
I shook my head, keeping my thoughts to myself. I was suppose to be with Edward. Look what happened there. It didn't take long to pull up to the restaurant and the guys jumped out racing toward the door. I followed more slowly, scanning the trees for my wolf and feeling disappointed when I didn't see him. Ms. Beth greeted us with warms smiles and the best seats again. I scanned the menu, deciding on a cobb salad. We talked easily while we waited on the food. It was a bit uncomfortable giving everything, but the ease I felt with them before this whole wolf pack thing remained.
"I heard Charlie told you he knows." Jacob mumbled around his first bite of food.
My eyes snapped to him. Embry shoved him. "How do you know that? I haven't told anyone…?"
"Oh." Jacob looked down, frowning.
"Charlie told Billy." Embry chimed in. Jacob looked up, nodding quickly. I narrowed my eyes at them, knowing they weren't being truthful.
"Can he hear me from the woods?" I stared at them, waiting for an answer. They both continued to eat their food, acting like I said nothing. Like that doesn't answer my question. Of course he can hear me. He's a freaking wolf! I stabbed at my salad, my anger from yesterday raising.
"He's gonna kill us all because you can't keep your big mouth shut." Embry grumbled. I rolled my eyes, pushing my salad away. I pulled my phone out, glancing at the time.
"You can go ahead and go." Jacob said around a mouth full of food. "Gonna see if Ms. Beth can put us to work."
I nodded and stood, moving to put money on the table.
"It's on us." Embry said, stopping my hand. He smiled. "Thanks for coming to lunch with us."
"No thank you. I was dying of boredom at work with Mike." I laughed walking out. Paul was standing by my truck, smiling at me. I frowned at him and got in the truck without a word. He followed me in.
"How many conversations have you listened to?" I snapped. He frowned.
"I'm not really listening. I just cant help but hear…." He trailed off. I huffed and started the truck. "Wait! I thought maybe we could do our walk here. The woods behind your house aren't the best. Plus we've ran some trails patrolling around here so it's an easier walk.."
I nodded and turned the car off, getting out. Paul met me at the back of the truck. I waved my hand forward. "Lead the way."
He smiled despite my attitude and started walking. We got to the tree line and walked about 10 minutes before getting off the man made trails.
"I guess you want me to phase? It was your wolf that promised you a walk…" He looked down. I felt he would be disappointed if I said yes but I'm so much more comfortable with my wolf.
I nodded slightly and he sighed. "Okay, wait right here." He jogged off and came back seconds later as my wolf. I couldn't help smiling when I saw him. I walked closer, immediately running my fingers through the fur on his back. He purred at me and nudged me forward. I sighed and started following him. Something was bugging me, but I didn't know what.
Seeing a log I stopped following my wolf and went to plop down on it. Paul stopped walking and cocked his head at me. I shrugged. He growled lowly and came to sit beside me.
"This is strange for some reason. You're still my wolf….but you're Paul too…." I patted his head and he whined. "I don't know what to do. I'm so confused." Like always when I'm with my wolf the words started spilling out, forgetting for a moment that Paul is here too. "I like Paul… I think. Well physically. I don't really know him but I know you and like you. And you are a part of him. Does that mean I like him?"
My wolf didn't answer, just laid his head on my lap and whined. "Edward told me I was his soulmate but then he left so I guess I wasn't? I can't be two peoples soulmates right? It's one or the other and I felt things with Paul I didn't feel with Edward the entire time I was with him. What does that mean? Is it just lust? What was it with Edward? I'm so confused. Help me?" I stared at the wolf, begging him to do something. He backed up a few spaced and with a blink Paul was standing in front of me naked.
"Your wolf cant help with this. That's my job." He told me and grabbed my hands, yanking me to him. My hands automatically wrapped around his neck and his lips crashed to mine. Lava. Can lava be pleasurable? I don't care. That's what it feels like when he kisses me.
He pulled back slightly. "You are not that bloodsucking leeches soulmate." He kissed me again, making me feel lightheaded. "You are mine. Mine." His lips moved to my neck and my head flew back to give him room. Kiss, lick, nibble…"Mine."
"I cant think…." I mumbled, holding on to his shoulder tighter, trying to ground myself
He growled. The sound shot through me, leaving me feeling tingly all over. "Don't think. Just feel."
I shook my head and let go of him, stepping back. Making sure to keep my eyes on his face. He stared at me for a moment and his head dropped. "Shit. I'm sorry. I just…."
"Don't know how that happened?" I finished. He shook his head. "Paul I'm not mad. Just confused."
He looked up at me. "Yeah I gathered that… I don't know why I thought making out would help you."
I nodded, sitting back on the log. Making sure to keep my eyes on his face. "Is imprinting always so… physical?"
He chuckled and bent down, when he stood back up he had his shorts back on. He sat down beside me. "Well I'm only the third to imprint. Based off of the thoughts I've heard from Sam and Jared… yeah its always this physical. At least in the beginning. Sam thinks it has to do with the natural instincts of our wolves."
I nodded. It really did make sense, in some ways. "Yeah but I'm not a wolf so…" I trailed off, blushing.
"So why do you want me so much?" He finished for me. I nodded once. "We don't really have an answer for that. I only know that while I want you… the wolf drives me to touch you, to feel you, to be close to you, even when I know I shouldn't."
I stared at him. "You think you shouldn't?"
Crap. I could see the hurt on her face. "I just thought taking it slow would be better. We haven't even been on a date and I've dry humped you to an orgasm in your dad's kitchen." She wouldn't look at me. I grabbed her chin, turning her toward me. Her eyes were watery. That damn prude of a vampire.
"I'm not rejecting you, Bella. Say the word and I'll take you to my house and worship your body until you beg me to stop." She flushed and tried to turn away from me. "Say the word and it's yours. I'm yours. But while I know your body is screaming yes to that… your mind and your heart isn't in it. You're still angry at me. You're still angry at this situation. You're still confused about this. Tell me I'm wrong and I'll throw you on my back and have you naked in my bed in less than 10 minutes."
She shook her head. Her face was still flushed. I knew she wanted me. I didn't need my sensitive sense of smell to know that. Her body screamed it. But I know she isn't ready. Not yet. I got closer to her and moved to get on my knees in front of her.
"Go on a date with me tomorrow. Get to know me. See for yourself what this connection is. Please."
She stared at me. Then suddenly in a move I'd never expect her from, she grabbed my neck, pulling me to her to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer. She yanked away as suddenly as she pulled me in. Huffing she stood and started pacing.
"This isn't right. Why do I want you so much! I've never wanted anyone or anything the way I feel pulled toward you. It doesn't make sense!"
I chuckled at her and she glared. I stood in front of her and grabbed her hands. "The answer is simple. You want me because I'm yours. And you're mine. Go on a date with me tomorrow?"
Her shoulders slumped and she nodded. "Okay."
What am I doing? I know nothing about hair and makeup so why am I standing in front of this stupid mirror trying to do both of those things? I shuffled through the makeup Alice had left here and sighed. It was already noon, Paul was going to bed here any minute and I haven't even gotten dressed yet. I was still walking around in a towel, hoping inspiration would strike.
Knock knock. Crap. "Come in." I yelled down. "Sorry I'm not ready yet."
I heard the door open and close. "Take your time. No rush."
No rush. Right. My face looks like I'm joining the circus and my hair is in a mess of crappy made curls. I huffed. "I changed my mind. I don't date." I mumbled, knowing he'd hear me. He didn't say anything back but I heard him coming up the steps. I wrapped the towel around my chest tighter.
"Excuse me, but you can't back out of a date once the date…" He trialed off, stating at me. I'm sure looking at my make up or hair. "You're not dressed…"
I sighed, throwing the brush in my hand down. "I don't date. I don't have date clothes."
Paul growled. My eyes snapped to him to see him quite literally stalking towards me. "Paul?"
"Why didn't you tell me you were naked…" He grabbed my hand, pulling me toward him and taking a deep breath trailed his nose up my neck.
"Well I didn't expect you to come up here and I'm not naked, I have a towel on." I whispered.
He hummed in my ear. "So glad I did. You smell good."
I pulled away from him. "Do you see my hair and makeup? I look like a damn clown."
He pulled me back, going straight for my neck again. "What hair and makeup?"
I laughed at him, slapping his shoulder. It struck me how easy and natural things felt with him. For some reason that made me slightly uncomfortable. I shouldn't be this at ease with a stranger. "I need to wash my face."
He nodded and twirled me quickly so I was facing mirror, his face still in my neck. I took in a shuddering breath and turned the cool water on. He nibble at my neck making me jump. "Stop it. I cant focus."
He purred. "Good. Focus on me instead." He licked my neck and my knees buckled. Chuckling he wrapped an arm around me, holding me up. "Okay… I'll behave." He moved from behind me and sat on the toilet.
I grabbed a wash rag, wetting it before washing the gunk off my face. "What are you doing?" I asked Paul.
He shrugged. "Watching you get ready."
I shook my head, flipping my hair so I could get it wet and get those awful curls out. Once done I quickly dried it and let it fall in its natural wave. "Okay just need to get dressed." I told Paul, walking toward my room.
"Can I watch that too?" He called. I shut my door, not answering but heard him chuckle as he passed my door. Now clothes. I opened the door and stuck my head out. "Hey what are you wearing?"
He laughed. "You just saw me, you should know that."
"I wasn't paying attention!" I yelled back.
"I can come show you but I'm staying up there this time."
I slammed the door. "Fine!"
"Stupid wolf boy." I mumbled to myself while I walked to my closet. Jeans are okay right? He said nothing fancy. Now what shirt? It's chilly out. Is a oversized sweater date worthy? Probably not. Form fitting sweaters? I grabbed one of the nicer deep blue sweaters I owned. It'll have to do. I got dressed quickly and flew down the steps. I was technically 45 minutes late.
"About time." Paul walked right to me and ran a finger down my cheek. "No offense but you look much better without makeup."
I rolled my eyes. "It would look better if I knew how to do it."
He shook his head. "No. You don't need it."
I ignored him. "Ready?" I asked, walking out the door either way. I stopped short, seeing a motorcycle beside my truck. Paul came behind me, grabbing me shoulders.
"Up for a ride?" He whispered in my ear. I nodded. "You may need a jacket. Not the best riding weather, but…" I nodded again and stepped inside quickly to grab a jacket. He was waiting for me, helmet in hand by the bike.
"So what's the plan?" I asked while he fitted the helmet. He smirk. I forgot how to breath.
"You'll see. Get on." He said, swing his leg over the bike. Less gracefully I got on and tried to put some room between us. "Bella? You have to hang on to me."
I scooted a bit closer and held on to his sides. He chuckled and grabbed my hands. Yanking me forward he wrapped my arms around himself and placed them on his chest . Don't move your hands, Bella. Do not feel this man up.
Once we hit the road, I realized we were leaving Forks and heading toward the city. I tried to get comfortable, but it was so hard to relax with my arms around him. The warmth… out of this world. Without thinking my fingers moved, rubbing slightly against his chest. I've seen him shirtless more than I've seen him with clothes on, but I tried not to pay attention. Hard not to pay attention with my arms wrapped around him. After a long ride of trying to control myself we got to the city and Paul pulled up to a restaurant.
He got off the bike first and then gave me a hand to help me. "You like Mexican food, I hope? It's my favorite." I nodded. "Good." He grabbed my hand and pulled me instead.
"Table for two?" He immediately asked the hostesses. She eyed him, then me and smiled. I looking at him, wondering if she eyed him because of his size or looks. Probably both. He was incredibly attractive and while it was definitely in his looks it was also how he carried himself. The way he looked, the way he talked and walked..he reeked sex.
"Absolutely. Table or booth?" she asked grabbing menus. Paul told her a booth and he pulled me a long as she took us to the table. He nudged me to one side, and sat at the other. The hostess left us but the waiter was right behind dropping salsa and chips off and take drinking orders.
"I didn't think about how little privacy we'd have at a restaurant." Paul mumbled, scooping a large amount of salsa on his chip. "I've never really planned a date before …"
I shook my head. "No this is great. I skipped breakfast so I'm starved."
He smiled and was about to say something when the waiter returned dropping drinks and asking if we were ready to order. We both wanted fajitas so we ordered a double mixed. I sighed when the waiter finally left.
"Bella?" My eyes snapped to him. "Why are you so nervous around me? I can hear your heartbeating… your eyes are shifty. Why?"
I shrugged, picking up a chip. "I don't know."
He took my hand. "You know. Tell me? Please."
I flushed. "I've never been attracted to someone the way I am you. It makes me nervous."
He let go of my hand but flipped it over and made patterns in my palm with his finger. "I like that I make you nervous. You make me nervous too."
I looked up and scoffed at him. "No, I don't."
He laughed. "Yes you do. I never know how I'm going to react around you. I say things I don't mean to, do things I'm actively trying not to do." He paused the patterns on my hand for a few seconds, staring at me and then smirked. "Is that why you are more comfortable with the wolf?"
I shook my head, not understanding what he meant. "What?"
"You're still comfortable with the wolf, even though you are mad at me because you don't have to worry about liking me or being attracted to me when I'm phased."
"I…" I had nothing to say because while I hadn't admitted it to myself he was right. The waiter showed up with the food and I hoped Paul would drop the subject. He politely asked for the check and to not be bothered anymore.
We ate in silence for a few moments, other than Paul thanking the waiter for the check. It wasn't uncomfortable but… it was. I felt like my skin was itching to be touch, my lips tingly even though he hasn't touched them at all. My heart racing and arousal growing for no reason at all. I was irritated knowing his point was proven. Paul's eyes snapped to mine and he growled, low in his chest.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked, building another taco. I shook my head, taking a bite of my food so I couldn't talk. "Tell me." He practically purred.
"Yesterday, you said all I had to do was say the word…" I trailed off and he nodded.
"Can't keep the promise of my bed in 10 minutes but I'm sure there is a hotel that close." He smirked at me and winked. My entire body flushed. "How far down does that blush go, I wonder? Am I gonna find out today?" My mouth opened and closed but nothing came out. He grabbed my hand again. "I'm teasing, Bella. Mostly. I mean if you say the word….anyway. Where were you going with that?"
I shook my head. "That's just what I was thinking about."
He raised his eyebrows at me. "Ooooh. Hmm. Are you doing eating?"
I looked up at him, surprised but nodded. "Good. I'm gonna go pay and there is another place I want to take you. Meet you at the bike?"
He gave me a hand up and I quickly made my way outside, hoping the cool breeze would calm me down. I leaned against his bike, willing myself to calm down. He didn't take long and we were back on the bike in no time. I needed to calm down. So what I was attracted to him? So what I want him? That doesn't mean anything. It's just a date. It'll be over soon and I can go home. We pulled up to a building in no time. It looked like a medium size museum. Once off the bikes, I looked at Paul questions clear in my eyes.
"It's an art gallery. My guilty pleasure. All tough and manly on the rez but take me to the city…" He shrugged, chuckling. "I want you to get to know me, art is a big part of who I am."
I smiled, pleasantly surprised. I vowed to try and ignore my body's reaction to him and get to know him. He paid for our tickets and took my arm, escorting me around to each painting and statue.
"What do you do?" I asked, more and more curious to know him. "Outside of stalking me, of course."
He chuckled and studied a statue in front of us for a moment. "Since I phased, odd jobs. We can't dedicate set hours to a regular job. Cant exactly explain why we have to run out suddenly if we are called."
"Hmm, what about before? What did you want to do?"
He pulled me to a painting and turned to look at me. 'Odd jobs. My parents weren't very stable. I didn't really have time to dream. My dad took off when I was 13 and my mom… well she's an alcoholic. Someone had to make sure bills were paid so I dropped out of school and worked odd jobs. Anything someone would give a scrawny, angry teenager to do."
I squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry. My mom was a bit of a flake. She worked for the money but I had to pay the bills and get food on the table. No where near the same, I know…"
He smiled and tugged me in a different direction. "Why did it take you so long to come back to Charlie? He seems like a good dad."
"He is." I nodded. "but I felt like my mom needed me more. And I hated Forks. I think my mom's influence got to me on that one because since I moved here I cant imagine leaving."
"So you don't hate Forks anymore?" He asked, there was a strange look in his eyes. This question was important to him for some reason.
"No….well Edward was a big part of liking it. And then when he left I could see my dad in a different light. I felt like I had been blinded and just brushed my dad off without giving him a chance. I feel like I'm just getting to know him, so I can't imagine leaving him now."
He pulled me over to a bench and sat down, patting the spot beside him. "What about college? You graduate next year right?"
Sitting, I nodded. "I don't know. I wanted to be an English major at one point. But that doesn't really call to me. Can I be honest?" I glanced at him, he grabbed my hand and nodded. "Once I met the Cullen's I never planned to be human long enough to experience college…"
His hand tightened. "I want to say I understand that, but by nature they are repulsive to me so I don't really understand."
I nodded. "I know I can't imagine it would ever make sense to you."
He bumped my shoulder. "Try to explain?"
I let out a big breath. How to explain this? "I spent my whole life living in the shadows. Trying to blend in with a wall, to not be noticed. And I wasn't. But I'm girl so even though I didn't want to be noticed, I wanted to be noticed."
Paul interrupted with a laugh. "And girls say they aren't confusing. Sorry, keep going."
I rolled my eyes at him. "And then I get to Forks and this beautiful, other worldly man… vampire was paying attention to me. He was educated, more beautiful than anything I had ever seen before and he wasn't interested in anyone in Forks but me…"
Paul nodded. "It was flattering?"
"Yes, but also… blinding, I guess to finally be noticed. To have someone see me. I felt like I finally fit somewhere and if I needed to die and become a vampire in order to stay with him, I would have. When in reality I don't think he saw me. He saw my blood that sung to him and my mind that he couldn't read. I think he confused those things with love."
"Your blood sung to him?" Paul's eyebrows raised, he looked confused and as much as I didn't want to admit it… cute. I explained quickly what a singer was. He nodded. "And for you? What was it for you?"
"Hmm. Infatuation? Getting off on being the only girl he wanted?" I looked down. He nudged me again. "I cared about him. It hurt when he left. I still miss him. But I don't know why. Was it just wanted a place to fit? I don't know. I thought I loved him…"
"You told the wolf that you imagined a passionate, raw relationship… I know you said his control was an issue but was that the only issue?"
I shrugged, flushing slightly. "I don't know. I wanted him but things was uncomfortable. He was so stiff with me and I wasn't sure what I was doing and before I could do much of anything he pushed me away. Maybe if he would have given it a chance it could have been passionate?" I'm not sure why I was asking him.
"Can I ask you a question without you getting mad?" I nodded. "When I touch you like this…" He ran his finger down my cheek, pushing hair off my shoulder to continue down my neck. My eyes closed without permission. "Did it ever feel like this with him? Did a single touch light you on fire?"
My eyes snapped open and I stared at him for a moment before shaking my head no. He leaned down, moving my hair more to whisper in my ear. "Maybe that's your answer."
His hot breath on my neck made my hands clench. He squeezed the one in his hand. He leaned down further and I could feel the wetness from him licking his lips. His placed a single wet kiss on my neck and sat up. "Come on, let's go see rest and find dessert." There wasn't much left to see but we viewed each piece in comfortable silence, Paul looking more intently at each one than me.
"Are you artistic?" I asked him, as he buckled my helmet on. "Do you draw or paint or anything?"
He smirked and swung his leg over the bike. "Come to my house for dessert and you can find out?"
I gasped. He laughed and turned to look at me. "It sounded dirty but I meant it literally. We can pick up dessert and go to my house. You can see for yourself."
I nodded and swung my legs over the bike. "Okay. Let's go"