The cafe was quiet and was filled with content. I needed content after the Hunt from early hours this morning and the sheer terror was still inside my body and I still couldn't overcome the shaking. I entered in hopes the mood would take me and help me feel clear once again. It took a while for me to figure out being around the humans was actually better for me than to avoid them. I suppose logic failed me after a hunt also. I'd gone almost two months without hunting and I became so thirsty I couldn't help myself to just come to a town and find a meal. It made me sick, and the terror actually caused me to abandon the hunt. I didnt like the idea of going near populace right now but I needed to shake the terror. Almost two months starved be damed. If I lost control I knew how to clean up after myself. I pushed the door and a little bell went off to indicate a new customer. As soon as I entered three things happened. Firstly, I froze the scent of another Vampire clear to me, I was ready to fight if I needed to. Second, my shaking ceased immediately the feeling of terror evaporated and was replaced by a mixture of relief, excitement, and love. Third, I felt a pull to the woman sat at a table facing the counter where the lady who I assumed owned the cafe stood waiting for me to move. The woman was small, young, and had the scent of something floral, I couldn't place it but I knew it to be floral. Trying to control my body once more I let my limbs unlock, testing my fingers and toes. Reminding myself I was in a cafe with eight humans and I could not just flit across the room. I was sure the girl was the vampire, her posture too perfect for any human to ever achieve. Yet I felt no hostility, in fact I realised the emotions that all but threw the terror from me belonged to her. She was so happy. I wondered if this was always her emotion because her happiness was so bright I couldn't imagine any other feeling from her. Testing myself I took a step, becoming confident I wasn't going to charge at this vampire I walked over to her. I was certain if I had a heart it would have skipped a beat upon looking at her. I felt the breath leave my lungs in shock at how beautiful she was, even for a vampire. I felt my brows try to furrow at the curious colour of her eyes, unlike my own, they were gold. She smiled widely at me and gestured for me to sit opposite her. She tried to hold in her emotions, letting the excitement take the front and I frowned at the absurd thought that she was doing it deliberately.
"I'm Alice" she said her voice was like music. It surprised me, though it shouldn't. I knew now that all vampires voices were appealing and beautiful. But hers was different like it resonated in my chest. "You kept me waiting a long time" she said I ducked my head down
"I'm sorry ma'am" I said the polite, Southerner in me was still there even after all the violence.
"I know you're suffering. But I've come to offer you a solution" she said cheerfully and I looked her over warily as she beamed at me. "There is a family who don't hurt people. Vegetarians if you will. I was heading to them next and I think you should come with me" she said in a matter of fact tone. I looked around cafe, none of the humans paid us any mind. This woman was so sure, determined and I couldn't help but be affected by her mood. I had to remind myself of the grim truth of my existence. No matter how good her words may sound.
"They can't not hunt" I said my voice was flat, I hadn't spoken to anybody in 5 years, the depression was clear in my voice alone, even with her extraordinary mood.
"They hunt animals, like I do" she said and pointed to her golden eyes "come, let me show you how to live" she stood up with a small jump as she straightened herself and I found myself taking her hand. I was so thirsty and her hope was like a light I had been searching for. The darkness I had been in shrivelled away from her light and I felt a warmth I had never known in this life. I never wanted to lose that. So I let her pull me out of the chair, turn and rush us out into the dull day. I kept my eyes on her braid bouncing between her shoulder blades
-
I felt full, uncomfortably full and the burning felt minute compared to what it was. It was still there but it was so tolerable I thought if I could I would have cried from the happiness I felt. I had hunted, I had eaten multiple times and the terror, disgust, loathing. All those feelings that I had to endure while I fed were not present. Because I fed on animals, two horses, a bear and a deer. Alice beamed at me from her perch in the tree above me, pride evident on her angelic features. She slipped down and landed in front of me
"How did that feel?" She asked and I felt a small smile come to my lips
"Amazing, thank you ma'am" I said ducking my head slightly
"Thank you" she said "for trusting me"
I nodded and was pretty sure I'd trust this woman forever.
"Want to go find that family?" She asked I nodded again. Also sure I'd follow her forever. She took my hand and we ran.
-
After a day and a night we were in a sunnier place. So we stopped in an abandoned cabin in the woods that we passed. There was no smell of anyone being here so the cabin had to have been empty for a few weeks at least. Sun broke through the small gaps of the cabin and the area around us was silent, the creatures who were resident to this part of the woods sensing our presence. Standing at the mirror I saw a dull gold to my normally red or,as of late black eyes. So this much she had told me was at least true. For a vampire she was rarely still. Bouncing on her toes, looking about the place with childlike curiosity and she hummed tunes that made me want to smile.
"How do you know there are others who share your... diet?" I asked finally breaking the four hour silence since our hunt
"Because I took the idea from them. Sort of" she smiled I looked at her evenly not entirely sure what she meant by that. "I saw them. The same way I saw you" she shrugged and spun on her heels and began inspecting the stag head on the wall.
"You kept me waiting a long time" her words rang in my head. I didn't realise at first but she had seemed as if she were expecting me some how. I tensed and listened letting my senses take over. I heard nothing, smelt nothing and my extra sense only picked up her happiness. I sense no hostility, or nerves from her. Nothing to indicate an ambush. She looked at me and her face softened placing her feet flat on the floor, swinging her arms behind her.
"Don't worry, I'm a friend. Yes I was waiting for you. But for good purposes only" she nodded as matter of a factly as if that was a good enough explanation.
"Why?"
"I saw you. I saw us and liked what I saw for us. So I waited" she shrugged and I still was not following what she was telling me. Her hands fell to her sides and her eyes glazed over as if she was no longer seeing me..
"Alice?" I asked warily a wave of concern coming over me. My own. I took a step forward and she blinked looking at me again a small smile on her lips.
"I... am like you. But I see the future... different versions depending on the choices people make. I saw us no choices had been made so nothing changed. I couldn't see when you would walk through the door but it never changed so I waited. If you had decided something different I would have seen" she shrugged her happiness dulling ever so slightly
"Would you have found me again?" I asked
"I don't know" she said and placed a smile on her face "we don't need to worry about it. You're here"
"You said like me?" I asked and she nodded
"Your... affinity for people. Your picking up people's moods" she said and I frowned at how she knew this. She was in front of me and took my scarred hands with no hesitation, other vampires were wary of me. My battles had left me very disfigured for a vampire. Now that I thought about it she never even flinched when she looked at me. No fear, no nerves. She pulled me down to sit on the floor
"The reason you are so depressed, the solitude and the struggle with hunting is because you feel what others feel. It's a rotten thing to have for a hunter but I'll tell you something. It's perfect for you. Especially when we find the Cullens" her eyes were bright and her happiness brightened. "I want you to be you. I've only seen glimpses but you look good smiling" she said nudging me
I sat there frozen, moods, emotions. So not everyone is so aware of them as me? It isn't... a vampire thing? I felt rather stupid for not figuring it out sooner. Not to sound conceited but I was clever for my age. Thinking back to my control over the newborns made sense too. Perhaps there is more to my 'gift' I thought and looked at her as she let me process.
"Did you always have visions?" I asked her
"For as long as I remember, yes" she shrugged I frowned at the wording. That was something humans said. Vampires had impeccable memory, I even remembered my human life as foggy as it had become over the years.
"Are you so old you don't remember your human life?" I asked
"I don't know" she said softly and I felt the happiness dim and confusion came rolling in with some sadness and fear. I didn't like it. "I only remember darkness. I don't know how I came to be, who I was, I was just one day in the light" she shrugged and my chest felt tight. And I forgot how to breath as anger gripped me. Alone, she woke up from the transition alone? Someone created her and just threw her away left her to this new life with nothing to guide her? What if the Volturi had found her while she was learning to hunt? No chance they'd let her live if she caused any attention.
"You had to learn everything alone?" I asked and she nodded
"My visions helped. I spent two weeks in a cave after I had broken a tree falling onto it in panic. Luckily for me I saw a good chunk of my future at that time. The Cullens being a big part so fortunately I knew to hunt animals, to keep out of human attention and all that. I just didn't know when I'd find them. Then a while back... I saw you. The vision of the Cullens changed became more... solid. Maybe to say after I met you we'd be close to finding them" she nodded once. I flipped her hand and began running my thumb over her wrist.
"You've been alone the whole time?" I asked her and she nodded. I felt the need to change that. She didn't seem overly upset by it as you'd expect someone to be. And that made me glad, I looked over her face and right then decided I'd follow this woman anywhere.
"I think the visions helped. I rewatched a lot of them when I felt alone" she smiled, I wished to see what she was remembering because the way the shadows of her mood was washed away like a wave. Love, at least I believed it to be love, it was as close the the feeling I felt around Peter and Charlotte. I never felt love on my human life, I thought I had loved Maria but it didn't feel the same as Peter and Charlotte had. It was spending time with them that brought me to the realisation.
"What do you see?" I asked before I could bring myself to stop.
"Things I can't wait to experience" she smiled I frowned and she took my hand again
"I don't mean to be cryptic, or hide things from you. I just don't wish to make what I see influence you in anyway" she said "just because I see it doesn't mean it has to happen, but I don't want to make it so because people think I've seen it it should happen" she explained and I looked at her. She was so open, and given what I had just learnt I didn't understand why she felt that way. Silence fell upon us again and she was still holding my hand. I watched her as she sat there. Given she was a vampire she didn't look like any other vampire I had ever seen. Most I'd seen were young, barely out of adolescents but she still had the childlike features maybe she was still a teenager. Her hair was just to her shoulderblades, at least with the braid, I'd imagine it would be another inch or so down. Her fringe was full covering her entire forehead. Eyes unblinking but wondering over me. Her lips in a slight smile and I just felt... right. Sitting here with her in silence discovering her. I looked down to the feeling of her fingers on my arms. The tips of her fingers were tracing the scars across my arm. A frown now formed above her eyes causing her lips to turn down, I didn't like that.
"They didn't hurt" I murmured lifting my hand to brush my thumb over the bumps between her brows "after a little while I didn't feel them" I shrugged
"But you did once?" She asked I nodded
"In the beginning"
"Which one was the last?" She asked curious. I frowned wondering why it mattered but she only waited her eyes focused on me. Was she making sure to not check my decisions? I pulled down the neck of my shirt and pointed to the base of my neck slightly off to the left. The newborns had tried to go for a vulnerable spot. Not many thought to go for the neck with their teeth so I was a little impressed. Her fingers lightly brushed the scar and I actually shivered and had to freeze so not to jump her. She froze too, no fear, or regret. Just patience as she allowed me to work through the shock of her touch and the fact someone was touching me at my throat and not trying to kill me. My hand was one thing I remember it was a normal place to be held or touched by others but my neck or head were the first place newborns used to try and kill me. Pulling off a vampire head was after all the best method, keep it separate and go back to burn everyone together. I focused on her and reminded myself she had only shown kindness, and her moods could not lie. Even if she was a good liar. I relaxed my muscles and let my shoulders fall, she immediately finished tracing her fingers over the scar.
"I've not seen much of when or if you tell me what happened to you" she said softly "I imagine part of the wars I heard about. But this is my favourite scar" she looked into my eyes her eyes burning with the anger she felt and it shocked me "it tells me it's the end of all you have had to suffer. The hunting not withstanding. Obviously. I think we still have a long way to go for that to be no problem for you anymore. But it makes me angry you had to go through all this" she said and flattened her palm over the scar. Sure that her fingers never came round my neck. After everything I had felt from her I just didn't expect to feel something like her anger. It was raw, and had a hint a viciousness. I had no doubt if she ever met Maria she may tear her apart with her tiny hands. I put my hand over hers, so her entire hand was flat on my throat. I trusted her regardless of the short time I had known her but my instincts told me she would never hurt me.
"It was the wars yes" I told her and sadness hit her hard "I fought many, killed more of our own newborns, some of them fought back. But given I had taught them all, they didn't have much of a chance" I shrugged
She shook her head and sat up straighter
"You sound Southern, where were you from?" She asked changing the subject
"Houston" I confirmed
"How old were you when you were changed?"
"16 maybe 17, I was a Major in the confederate army, I lost track of time while there, so I am not sure if my birthday passed" I shrugged I wanted to ask her the same and it hurt to know she didn't have a clue.
"I've never rode a horse" she smiled "is it hard?"
"No, the reigns do all the work for you. Galloping was harder, had to balance and hold on tighter, though I'm sure that won't be an issue now" I smiled slightly
"I'd imagine so" she replied "If I get too intrusive tell me to stop" she said and looked at me only continuing after I had nodded "not that I am not pleased about it but did your coven die? For you to stop the fighting I mean" she clarified
"No. My partner, the woman who made me. I sensed her pulling away, similar to when others had turned on us. I was waiting for it knowing I'd have to fight her but a friend came for me. Told me of a life with no war, no fighting to feed and how it was a good life. I didn't want to kill her, so I left with him" I explained and her face fell slightly but quickly composed
"I'd imagine that's where you discovered the conundrum with your gifts" she said
"It was all so miserable and violent the fear and anguish, I never had that before, I also didn't have Maria to center me" I said realising now that's how I got by for so long.
"Your...Mate?" She asked hesitantly
"I suppose she was" I nodded she frowned and nodded
"What is it?" I asked
"Just confused" she said I sensed the deceit "I have bumped into others and they all said mates are forever. I saw one on a quest for vengeance because another had killed her mate. I don't think she would have ever hurt you, if she was yours"
"I don't think I would have had a problem killing her if I had to" I said frowning at her knee "so... we weren't in love? The way we are supposed to be?"
"I'm not the right person to ask" she said softly "but from what I have heard and seen, I don't think so" her mood brightened some and I smiled at her happiness.
-
The sun had set and we took off towards Alaska, Alice believing this is where she would find the Cullens. We stopped at a tree line smelling a vampire up ahead and I wasn't sure about crossing paths with anyone. Especially with her, and with how different she looks it didn't sit right with me. I turned to say this unsure in case they heard us and she only nodded took my hand and ran to the east and the scent was fading. Her gift would be very helpful in stealthy situations. Once the scent was gone we went into the trees and kept going. Her moves were mesmerising it was like she was skipping more than running and she twirled as she avoided the trees almost as if she was dancing. After about 200 miles we heard the sounds of population and slowed at the edge of the trees. Down what appeared to be a mountain was a small town. She looked down to the town a smile on her face full of pure wonder. Music came up to us and she looked at me taking my hand, skipped further down until the music was all around us. She turned to face me and put my right hand around her my hand resting on her back, holding my left up in hers, then put her right hand on my shoulder. I realised at the last moment she wanted to dance with me. I'd never danced. But I didn't want to disappoint her so we swayed on the spot and it seemed to make her day, you'd have thought I was a professional with the way she was beaming up at me.
-
The smell of vampires all over this area was strong. We had run all night and day to make it here, it wasn't helping my nerves to smell so many scents and so strongly. This was there territory and I didn't like the idea of turning up unannounced, that's why I ended up fighting. I hadn't fought in well over a decade and guessing Alice had zero combat experience I wasn't happy with taking her with me.
"I should go on alone, introduce us so they don't get spooked" I suggested and she shook her head weaving her fingers through mine
"Jasper, your are very battle worn, do you really think they will look at you and think you're here peacefully?" She asked "well they wouldn't attack you because they are civil and Carlisle would never want to assume. But they'd still be wary. It'd be smoother if we went together" she nodded her mood was confident, she was nervous though and that didn't feel right
"If its so smooth why are you nervous?" I asked her skeptical.
"Well I've waited a long time for this. I'm still waiting for the day my visions are wrong, and they won't allow us to stay" she sighed and looked up at me "but they've not failed me yet" she went to take a step and I pulled her hand back
"I don't like it. There is too much risk" he said and her gaze went glossy. A vision. I'd come to realise. I gave her a moment holding her hand a little tighter to show her I was here.
"Two of the males are going hunting, Emmet and Edward"
She had explained the family, Emmet was huge, and the strongest, Edward was the mind reader. I was happier the big one was gone but Edwards mind reading would be helpful to convince the others. However with them gone it would be two females and the head of the family, Carlisle.
"We will go then. I'd rather not have to fight a 'bear sized man' or risk setting him off. If you say Carlisle is the most likely to listen I'd rather that"
"There is no need, but I see that will go over smoothly too. So if that makes you feel better we will do it your way" she smiled
Carlisle mate wasn't a fighter from what Alice had seen and Emmet, the bear, his mate was vicious, but more with her mouth than anything so I had no worries about the women unless I attacked Carlisle. Which of course was not going to happen so long as he took the trespass well. Alice squeezed my hand and nodded. To tell me it was clear of the two males. So we ran.
We slowed to a walk at the break in the trees making sound so we are heard. As we enter the clearing a tall blonde man was stood on the steps of the porch looking at us. I put Alice behind me, she didn't argue understanding I was cautious and needed to do this my way. Carlisle's eyes widened as he took in my appearance I had only a short sleeve top on so my arms were on show. My scars clearly a concern to him he tensed but I noticed made a effort not to crouch defensively.
"Can I help you?" He asked in a English accent and his eyes flickered behind me and I snarled in defense. I was surprised by the sound, I'd never done that unless to fight. Alice put her hand on my back and I relaxed. Carlisle had yellow eyes so I knew he was at least a Cullen or a Denali. He put his hand up palm facing forward in surrender
"We are looking for Carlisle Cullen" I stated
"I am Carlisle Cullen" he said smoothly clearly trying to stay calm. I reached out to feel his mood and could sense concern, a bit of fear. Concern... for us. I looked back to Alice and nodded. She stepped out from behind me and Carlisle actually blinked shock spiking his emotion as he looked between her and me. She beamed at him and waved
"I am Alice, this is Jasper. We don't wish to intrude but I have seen much about you and your family and we are hoping that you have space for us. I have been a vampire vegetarian for decades, Jasper however only a few days. But if you are willing I'd like Edwards room"
I watched her in amazement because she spoke so fast, even for a vampire and with much enthusiasm. I saw him inspect her and stop at what I assume were her eyes. He smiled and looked at me nodding once and showing his palms once more as he stepped down the steps. Alice took my hand in reassurance and I stopped the growl in my throat.
"Not many share our desire to leave the humans be" he said stopping a foot from her "can I ask what you mean by 'seen much'?"
"I can see the future. And for as long as I can remember I have seen all of you. But it wasn't time to come yet" she smiled and looked at me then back to him. "Mostly moments between me and the family, or me and one person" she shrugged
"And just who do you expect to find here?" He tested
"Esme, your mate who you created after she tried to take her own life. Edward, you created, the first and he read minds. Rosalie, you hoped would be Edwards mate, but she brought home Emmet, her mate and he is very strong"
"Impressive" he said astonished his eyes all lit up he looked up to me "and Jasper?" He asked me and I didn't speak
"He's... had a difficult start to this life. He means no harm and he's with me" she said and I was thankful for her not giving away too much of my story but I imagine once the mind reader got here it would not matter
"I was in the wars of the South" I said gesturing to my scars "didn't know of life any other way until a little over a decade ago" I revealed reluctantly. But Alice wanted this and I wasn't going to mess it up for her. He nodded his brows lifting up in sympathy at the same time his emotions pinged it too. I relaxed at his emotions, I sensed nothing but kindness from him.
"Carlisle?" A voice called and we all looked to the house to see a small brunette with the same golden eyes. He nodded and lifted his arm to encourage her to come. She flitted across the yard and Alice jumped on her wrapping her arms around her.
"I've waited so long to meet you!" She squealed and the woman froze eyes wide looking at Alice's head while I tensed waiting for a attack. Her face softened as she hugged Alice back as they let go I pulled her back to me
"Please don't do that again" I requested and she blinked surprised then nodded smiling gently
"Sorry" she said and then apologised to the woman "Jasper this is Esme"
"I assure you we won't harm either of you" Carlisle reassured me and the invited us into the house. It was a big house and I could hear the other female, Rosalie upstairs. Anger, and worry came from her and something told me she wasn't going to come down until her mate returned.
We sat and talked Carlisle was fascinated with Alice. She had no issues telling him whatever he wanted to know.
"The house isn't big enough for two others, and I have to stay at the hospital. But we are willing for you both to stay, we can move to a bigger place in a few weeks, find two extra rooms" he told us. Alice was practically bouncing in her seat as she beamed at him and Esme. I had stayed close and wasn't willing to let her out of my sight just yet. But she seemed to settle immediately "but I suppose you already knew that" he chuckled and she nodded.
"You said you were at the hospital?" I asked him and he nodded
"Yes, I am a doctor there"
"How?" I asked surprised
"Centuries of practice" he said humbly
"Do you all have jobs?" I asked
"Just Esme and me. The children go to school" he said
"That's quite impressive" I stated
"I build. Make buildings, houses and such" Esme explained.
"You do go on to make some beautiful houses" Alice sighed longingly.
Alice had gone upstairs and emptied a room within minutes leaving the chair near the window. We had no possessions so I was unsure why she had even decided to take up the room. It was generous of them to accept us into their home Alice seemed to settle immediately her relief was contagious as well as her happiness.
"Should we not introduce ourselves to Rosalie?" I asked Alice stopped her dancing around the room and looked at me
"No. She would much rather wait for Emmet. You make her nervous" she said softly coming over to take my hands.
"I make many people nervous" I stated focusing only on her feelings. It was true and it didn't bother me so much because I had no real foundations to be affected by what people thought. Only her. I couldn't examine it but I feel if she were to ever flinch from me it would hurt. Hurt me more than any physical wound I'd ever received.
"It's ridiculous" she pouted and I smiled down at her my thumb brushing her lip.
"It's wise" I told her "I imagine I look quite terrifying to vampires as... human as this coven"
"You didn't look terrifying to me and I've been alone forever" she argued her lip jutting out slightly and a chuckle actually escaped my lips.
"You had seen we were friends" I said and the word 'friends' tasted bitter on my tongue but I brushed over it. "You'd seen I wasn't as... feral as I must look, it's not the same for others. And I'm not entirely certain how I'd be if I stumbles scross them without you" I shrugged
"I think you would be defensive but they'd talk you down to show you they mean no harm. They're very good, especially Edward he'd know what you need to hear" she shrugged and felt my inside churn at the way she spoke of him. It took me a minute to realise it was jealousy, and my own. She smiled at me widely and gripped my arms tighter.
"They're coming" she said and the jealousy pinged again she took my hand and skipped through the house. When I heard the deep growl and the giant of a man I yanked Alice back and put her behind me crouching defensively. It took all my self control not to growl back but I knew that would not help the situation. He stood at the door his shoulders almost touching either side of the doorway. His snarl was deep, I was rather concerned about his size but I felt certain I'd be able to win, at least long enough for Alice to get to safety. A blonde woman flitted through the room making a obvious effort not to pass me. I looked at her and the male moved putting his arms around her now also defensive. She put her hand on his chest and he looked at her as she shook her head. He instantly stood straight when a tall man came behind him and Carlisle and Esme arrived from the kitchen. Emmet stepped aside for who I assumed was Edward to pass through. Alice bounced behind me and I stood up straight once more. The room was drowning in concern. All of them but I'm sure for different reasons. The anger I felt from Emmet had completely dissapeared only now concern for Rosalie, Rosalie was a little hostile and fearful but mostly just watching her mate.
"I know you asked I didn't but it will be fine please don't panic. He sees it coming" she said barely able to contain herself. I nodded once and she flew across the room and jumped onto Edward he already had his arms open to catch her though the confusion was so obvious I didn't need to feel it to know it was there. She clung to him her legs around his waste and then he smiled and held her tighter. His eyes closing and happiness coming from him cause me to see red I had never experienced myself before. I saw myself tearing him apart as easy as I had thousands of others my eyes zeroed in on his hands as they crossed over her back and held her ribs if I wasn't so surprised by my reaction I may have been growling. He opened his eyes the movement had me looking at him and she let go and he let her down instantly she flitted back to my side and took my hand looking up to me her chin on my shoulder.
"We are home Jaz, you have no reason to be so defensive" she said and I relaxed quickly trying to shake the violent images I had toward Edward. Who saw them no less. It wasn't the impression I wanted to give him.
"Home?" Asked Emmet with a snort he was now relaxed, and smiling.
"Yes, we took Edwards room" Alice chirped causing Edward to blink and look at her perplexed
"Oh I see" he said with a smirk leaning against the door frame "just went ahead and made yourself comfortable did you?"
"Well I wouldn't say comfortable, we have nothing" she said and it relaxed me each time she said 'we'
"I will never get my way again will I?" Edward asked
"Nope" she grinned she looked to Emmet "I'm Alice, your new favourite sister, this is Jasper, your new favourite sparring partner. When he's ready" she added taking my hand and I looked at her raising a brow
"Like a bear" she said through her radiant smile "though sparring with Edward will best test you, the mind reading and all" she was so confident and already looked like she belonged here
"I hope nobody is going to be breaking my houses" Esme said trying to be stern but failing miserably and they all laughed. Except the blonde. She was yet to speak I looked her over and she was a beautiful woman, much more beautiful, even for a vampire. Yet I still couldn't say that she had anything on Alice. The blonde looked at me with a scowl when she noticed I was staring she was unhappy. I didn't talk I just let Alice intruduce everyone and while I sat back and tried to consciously read the other vampires. Edward was curious, excited and I saw he was staring at me.
Are you reading me attempt to practice? I thought and he nodded a giving me a small smile the fact I had invisioned killing him in multiple violent ways didn't seem to phase him and he only shrugged at me.
I suppose you see a lot that isn't pleasant I thought shrugging and he nodded. Alice had stopped talking and I looked to check on her and she was looking between Edward and me her smile some how bigger than it had ever been. She was bursting with happiness and I felt it in myself. I smiled and the rest of the room seemed to brighten up too. All moods were just pure joy. She flitted off to sit on Edwards lap
"Are you bonding?" She asked him he looked at me with a smirk
"Almost" he answered picking her up smoothly and putting her next to him looking at me then to her and she frowned confused and looked back to me. It was only then I realised I was glaring at Edward because my face instantly softened for her. Realisation seemed to come to her and she came back to me and took my hand.
"Let's walk" she said "well be back soon, I'm keeping the room Edward" She called as if she had just always been in the family. I heard Edward chuckle and just before we were out of hearing range I heard Esme
"Are they..?"
"Yes" the rest of them said together.
I looked to Alice who shook her head and rolled her eyes.
She sat us down at the base of a tree crossing her legs and looked at me torn.
"Your confused" she said
"Yes" I admitted and she sighed
"Perhaps not telling you wasn't the best idea. I didn't forsee any jealousy from you"
"Me either"
"You don't need to worry about Edward. It's not like that and it never will be. He truly is just my brother. He may not be there yet but I know he doesn't see me that way at all either"
I tensed my instinct to rebuff all she was saying
"I feel...defensive of you. I feel like I could follow you forever and would burn the earth for you. I just, its never happened before and I am not sure how I am supposed to feel about it" I told her and her indecision returned "tell me" I said putting my head to hers "tell me everything you want me to know, I feel... wrong making you hold back and I don't want it for you"
She pressed her lips together and looked down at my nose. Relaxing her lips, dropping her shoulders she looked at me with determination. Nerves now all I could feel. She got on her knees and then straddled me putting her hands on either side of my neck.
"I'm only telling you because I think it's already happened. I didn't expect it to be so... quick" she said and I nodded "I'm yours" she breathed her breath brushing my stone skin. Like it was a relief to say the words. I felt my breath hitch in my throat and stay there. She's mine? Mine. I thought my hands coming to her waist pulling her closer
"Mine?" I asked in a whisper. I felt like a weight had come of my soul, if I still had such a thing.
"Always was" she smiled and I thought back to her anger when we spoke of Maria, the look she had when I said my partner, the doubt talking about mates. My utter trust, defensiveness, and blind jealousy.
"You're my Mate?" I asked in shock and she nodded.
"Why would you not want to tell me that?" I asked
"Because... I wanted you so bad. Wanted the life I've seen for us, craved it. I waited 37 years for you to walk through those doors and the last 8 of those I truly started to panic you weren't coming. It took all my self control not to pounce on you when you did. All my will to not tell you these last few days. I didn't want the intensity of my feelings force you to where I am because I say its what I saw" she said moving her hands to the back of my head. If she felt the same way I did would she be upset if I kissed her right now? I thought I was about to ask
"Not even a little bit" she responded and I leaned into her and placed my lips to hers. She was nervous. And kept her hands on my head I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss and the taste of her awakened something in me. I pulled her right to my crotch and moved my hand to her face. She kissed me back holding my hair tightly was I human I was sure it would have hurt. A small moan left her as her knees tightened on my waste. Her nerves were easing but still there. And I realised this was all new to her. A mix of a growl and a groan came from my throat as I realised this wasn't fair to her. She is like a child in a sense everything is new to her because she doesn't remember who she is. What she experienced in her life. And I took what I assume to be her first true kiss. I like that I had been the one to but a part of me felt bad about that. I forced myself back putting my head to hers and held her face in my hands. It was then I noticed the shaking.
"I apologise, I didn't mean to get so heated. I didn't think how new this would be for you" I said and she smiled weakly
"Not really, I've seen us kissing so much. Though I never did expect there to be such nerves" she laughed nervously
"You don't know if you have ever done this before. I suppose it would be strange were you not" I told her "and I also imagine you only expected a kiss honestly I don't know what came over me, I would not have stopped hadn't your nerves been under control" I said looking down ashamed. Her hand came to my chin and had me look at her
"I know what you mean" she smiled "I was so taken by the feel of it I am not sure I would have stopped either. You are much stronger than I" she said proud
"Self control, I suppose I learnt that from my time in the wars" I shrugged I intended it to be light but she frowned not happy with it "hey, it's okay. It may not have been a good time in my life but I learnt a lot that I'm greatful for. Because it will help me keep you safe" she looked at me surprised her eyes wide. Then I felt it. It knocked be by surprise I fell back into the tree lightly my back now against the trunk. This was what she was holding back. Love. Her love for me was a beautiful feeling and so bright I felt like I was in the sun the heat of the rays warming my skin. Only now it was her love. Her unabashed, uncensored love she had held away from me so not to force it on me. It was wonderful. I remembered this with Charlotte and Peter but nothing quite this powerful. Was it because she had to wait? Or did she just love me more than they loved each other? I was so consumed by her mood I couldn't even find my own other than relief and appreciation that this beautiful force of nature was mine. I was never going to let her go. I pulled her to me holding her face firmly so not to let her get carried away and I kissed her. Slow deep and pouring all I could feel into it. I pulled back and she looked like she was in heaven.
I chuckled at her and she blinked
"I don't know what I did to deserve you" I whispered she brushed her thumb against my cheek.
"Me either" she smiled and got up pulling me with her "but we're finally home"
I'm struggling to motivate myself right now so I am going through some old stuff.
This is the only Twilight Fic I wrote way back when (Jasper and Alice are my favourite and i wish we had more of them)