Series: Heartbreak Series

Summary: How are you handling the breakup? Based on Like We Used To by A Rocket to the Moon

Words: 1291

Triggers: nsfw, i think that's it?

Part 1 of a potential series. Hope y'all enjoy!

My first Trav fanfic... be gentle pleaseeee. Requests are more than welcome

I can feel her breath as she's sleeping next to me

Sharing pillows and cold feet

She can feel my heart, fell asleep to its beat

Under blankets and warm sheets

"How are you always so cold?!" Travis chuckled, draping his arm across your bare waist as you two laid naked, the only thing covering you both being a feather-like, white sheet. Your eyes met his as you let out a small snicker, a sheepish shrug being mustered up even though exhaustion was plaguing your body.

"Don't you like it? You're the one who specifically stated you're always too warm," you mused, arching your brows pointedly as if to prove your point to him. As much as you gave Travis shit for it, him being warm had its perks. He was your personal body heater and you never had to worry about being cold when you were in his presence. Cold hands pressed against his back was always a welcome feeling in his mind, and he'd told you that more than once.

You shuffled closer to Travis in your shared bed, turning around so that he was the big spoon. He tightened his arms around your body, pressing a loving kiss against the back of your head. It didn't take long for him to doze off, exhausted from the Monday Night game he had just won. You, on the other hand, took a bit longer to fall into a slumber, though the beat of Travis' heart eventually lulled you into a deep sleep, knowing that you were safe in your boyfriend's arms.

If only I could be in that bed again

If only it were me instead of him

Does he watch your favorite movies?

Does he hold you when you cry?

Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts when you've seen it a million times?

Does he sing to all your music while you dance to Purple Rain?

Does he do all these things like I used to?

What you would give to go back to that time in your life, a mere year ago. It wasn't as if you didn't love your new boyfriend, but he wasn't anything compared to Travis. He was different, in every single way from your ex. Trav was an extrovert, he was an introvert. Trav loved sports, he despised them. Travis' family was everything to him, he hadn't spoken to his parents in years. What started out as a welcome change was suddenly becoming a sad realization that you wouldn't ever have that type of love again in your life.

Trav knew every single movie you had watched, he knew what your favorite TV shows were. He knew that you'd be glued in front of the TV every Wednesday night to catch up on all your missed shows because of the NFL's hectic schedule. Your new boyfriend didn't know that he should expect that because he wasn't nearly as busy as Travis. With him, you could watch the shows as they aired live because there were no football games you attended causing a disruption in your schedule. Secretly, you'd still watch all of Travis' games, your love and concern for him overpowering your desire to watch your shows.

As you lay next to your new boyfriend, tears filled your eyes at the stark contrast that was now your life. Your new boyfriend turned over, seeing your eyelids red from tears. "What's wrong?" he asked sleepily, a yawn escaping from his red lips. You shook your head, not wanting to delve into the fact that you were, once again, mourning the loss of your relationship with Travis.

"Nothing," you whispered, your voice cracking as you said the word. In reality, everything was wrong. Nodding, your boyfriend turned over, soft snores being heard echoing off the wall. That alone made you turn to face the opposite wall, small sobs raking through your body. It wasn't as if your boyfriend didn't care… but he didn't care in the way Travis would. Trav would have wrapped his arms around you, blinked several times until he came to, and then demanded you to tell him what was wrong, in the most loving way. And you would've told him, because he was your best friend. Perhaps that was the hardest part, losing your boyfriend and best friend all in one.

14 months and seven days ago

Oh, I know you know how we felt about that night

Just your skin against the window

Oh, we took it slow and we both know

It should have been me inside that car

It should have been me instead of him in the dark

You had been with Travis not even a month before the first time you slept together. To say it was amazing would be an understatement. He was the sweetest, kindest, most attentive lover you'd ever been with, and that was just the first time. As time went on, it only became more amazing, more magical. And you were convinced that was because of the love that radiated between the two of you, which was evident to everyone in your inner circle.

The first time you slept with your ex had been a drunken hookup, your attempt to get over Travis. And it worked, for a couple hours. Then your mind went back to your ex, which was precisely what you wanted to avoid. And so began the triad of events, sleeping with your new guy, going home only to call him again a few hours later to try and forget Trav. Eventually, you both decided that since the sex was good, you should try out a relationship. It wasn't bad, the sex nor the relationship, but it wasn't the same. It never would be. You knew that, always had.

For what felt like the millionth time, you slipped out of bed and went into the one bathroom in your rented apartment, locking the door behind you as tears leaked out of your eyes. You were so angry that you let a petty argument with Trav ruin the rest of your life, a life you so wanted with him. You'd never pictured being married until you met Travis, but now that you had, that's all you saw. And, as sad as it was to say, all your boyfriend was was a nice distraction.

Your mind wandered over to Travis, curious as to how he was feeling. Was he having the same thoughts? Or did he move on? Have a new girl in his bed? Tell someone else that he loved them? The mere thought alone caused you to become sick, emptying the content of your stomach into the toilet. You fell back onto your ass, desperately reaching for your phone.

I know, Love (I'm a sucker for that feeling)

Happens all the time, Love (I always end up feeling cheated)

You're on my mind, Love (oh darling, lead her where that leaded)

It happens all the time, Love, yeah

Y/N: Hey… how are you doing?

Trav: Long time no talk! I'm alright, how are you?

You stared at the text for what felt like an eternity, but in reality was less than a minute. In your drunken haze, you clicked on his contact name and pressed Facetime, anxiously awaiting to see if he'd answer. To your surprise, he did. Fuck. What were you going to say? To do? Let him know that you tried to move on but couldn't? Let him know you watched every single one of his games and still held your breath every time he was tackled? Let him know you watched every video and interview of him? Let him know you thought you saw the heartbroken flickers in his eyes?

"Trav… I miss you."