The sun shown down upon a certain gold and diamond encrusted crack house in The city of trap and pimpin, at least thats what the REAL playas called it, but the fags and nobodys called it 'Royal woods michigan',
Lincoln Loud was in the middle of flippin some fatass bricks, lookin fly asf as always, he was seated on his throne of fine bitches and hoes when Leni rushed over in nothing but fishnets, holdin a cellphone. Lincoln without thinkin (Bars) snapped the bitch wit a mean ass backhand, she dropped like a phat ounce a loud. Lincoln promptly snatched the phone out the air, and brought it to his ear. "Nigga wtf you want cuh?" a voice rang out on the other end. "Im so sorry to disturb you GC, but there's some trouble on the east side!"
GC promptly rolled his eyes behind his gold rimmed glasses. "Nigga who tf been slippin?" the man on the other end took a deep breath.
"tf yo goofy ass inhalin so hard for nigga?! You disturbin my pimpin , ima grease the goof outchu on god. Spit it tf out cuh!"
"Its clyde sir, he's been sliding off the top of your meth empire, cutting deals, dealing fronts left and right, even lettin the hoes in his sector slide on short payments! Coming as low as 700 at times sir, i wouldnt tell you if it wasnt urgent GC."
A deadly silence passed over the phone as GC hit end call. He stood from his throne of bitches and hoes causing them to moan out in dissatisfaction. His massive cock falling to the pavement below him and trailing behind like a used parachute. He threw off his fur coat, leaving him in only a stylish satin button up cream jeans and diamond encrusted human skin kicks. His earrings flashed in the light as he stepped onto the porch of his thug ass trap house. His eyes burned with rage and waves of pure pimp pulsed offa him and onto the hoes that were nodding out on his porch and yard. The sight of so many of his hoes playin junkie made a nigga steam, quite literally GC was smokin as he approached the first hoe that dared lay sprawled out in his path. GC cocked back, his pimp hand pulsing green with unbridled pimp, the force as he cocked back was like narcan for the hoe, she came too, only to recoil in horror as the most gangster pimp brought down the meanest mf backhand a nigga ever did see. He smacked the bitch so hard, chris brown cringed, her head flew back with a sickening crack, as she turned to ash and crumbled to dust. he straightened, bent down, tossed his fat dick over his shoulder and began to crip walk to the east side alone Cause a real Pimp and need no backup.
Meanwhile on the eastside
Clyde snorted a fatass line of heroin off a hookers ass before collapsing in his office chair in a broken heap. "God I love being a pimp!" Clyde had been givin a pretty gucci gig, considering GC thought he was a goofy ass fruitcake he elevated him to eastside gangbanger, just so he aint have to peep his rank ass too often, clearly this had proved to be a mistake on the most pimpin pimps part. Just as clyde went to order a round of head for the table. the marble doors blasted to shrapnel, spraying hookers and drug runners alike, shredding thru bodies as a ocean spray of blood spattered, clydes face. As the dust settled, his eyes widened with fear as GC himself crip walked into the east side meth lab.
Clyde snatched his piece from the drawer to his right, but to no avail. GC hit a mean ass whip, and proceeded to nay nay the weapon out of clydes hand with ease.
"You was finna shoot ME nigga?!"
GC snatched that queer ass fun size nigga up so fast his grill hit the hardwood.
"I knew i shoulda pimped yo ass out!" GC leaned in close " you aint a gangbanger, you a fuckin goof nigga, you a whole ass L ong." he was a centimeter away from clydes face hissing hate thru gritted teeth. He slammed clyde into the ground, rupturing his spleen and breaking some ribs. He cried out in pain. and sobbed like a fuckin punk ass bitch no cap. GC looked to the nearest ho, "Bitch bring me my cane, fore i fuck you up!" Her eyes widened in terror, "Y-yes sir!"
GC sipped some lean, and pimped.
She quickly returned with a beautiful diamond and ruby encrusted staff of pure thug and crip. GC twirled it in his fingers melodically. "Clyde... listen, you totally a busted ass goof ass nigga, but i cant help but feel like smackin yo fugly ass wont be enough. So heres what ima do, ima fuck yo bitch... again...Ima fuck yo crush... again..., And then you finna be my newest hoe, and nigga if you dont make me a rack a night, ima get yo dads and file em up wit da real thugs on the southside AFTER I no clip yo ass out of existence." GC glared down. "Word nigga?"
"W-word" Clyde croaked out
"ight, get yo tired ass up and get to steppin." GC snapped and smacked the back of clydes knee with his cane as he stumbled onto the mean streets of trap and pimpin. Wearin nothing but a purse n high heels.
"Aight ima need a new head of production for the east side, any niggas pimp enough to trap this corner a my city?"
"I will!" GC's eyes narrowed to the back of the room,
it was Lynn loud Sr.
"Nigga if you dont get yo slowly baldin middle aged 'i cant please my wife' tired ass out my trap house you finna be workin the mean corners, fuck out my pimp vision nigga" Lynn loud senior dropped his head and sulked out the trap house. GC shrugged and looked to his left, his eyes rested on rusty OD'ing in the corner of the room, nigga was a pushover but hed be an aight substitute till GC could find somebody pimp enough to take the throne. He hit the whoa over to rusty and proceeded to narcan the clown ass nigga. He gasped back to life, vomited, and began convulsing as instant withdrawals set in. "Listen nigga, ima say it once, keep an eye on my trap house till i find a thug pimp enough to trap this ho, aight?"
Rusty nodded his head shakily.
"Good shit nigga."
GC began to make his way out that bitch when some police (not under his supervision) tried to pull a driveby on our beloved pimp, but being the hard ass gangster he is the bullets ricocheted off his skin out of respect. "Who tf would order a hit on me? GC wondered aloud as the pigs sped off. he could smell the piss in their boxers. "Dont these niggas know im built different?"
"Fasho." A voice vocalized from nearby.
GC turned to see some doof ass blood dressed in a baggy white t, a lakers hat with tag on, baggy jeans and several fat chains and earrings.
"Nigga do i know you? tf you doin in my trap dressed like that? We rep blue on this side nigga you know dat why yo tired ass testin my patience? You got a death wish nigga?"
"Nah im just sick a yo tired ass actin like you run it all da time, you dressed like a nigga named vladamir, tf up with the satin? Go take a nap bruh, fore i put you in the dirt fasho."
GC fumed, hed never been talked to like this, not since before pimp school.
"Nigga you best be backin that trash, cause im bout to bust yo shit jit, thats why yo chain fake."
"Bring it bitch stop flapping yo cock teaser and show me dem hands den, ho!" The stranger threw up his hands ready to scrap.
GC strode over and before the goof could react our hero had reached back and was bringing down the most powerful pimp slap since the BigDaddy of '98. The wave of respect that followed shattered car windows in indonesia, filled starving african childrens bellies, and threw the bullet that killed jfk off track. When GC looked down at the small pile of ash topped with the smoldering lakers hat. and fake ass chain.
Gc proceeded to crip walk out the east side under the setting sun, a new day of pimping awaiting the pimp god of the city of trap and pimpin.
The end?