JENNIE
Lisa: I owe you an apology about last night at Leila's. I was out of line.
I took a deep breath, turned off my car, and stared at the side door to Honky Tonk. It was my first shift back since The Break-Up, and I was tied up in knots. It was a weekend lunch shift. The odds of Lisa actually being inside were in the negative.
But I still needed a pep talk before getting out of the car.
I'd been okay at my other job all week. The library felt like a fresh start and didn't have memories of Lisa around every corner. But Honky Tonk was different.
"You can do this. Get out of the car. Rake in the tip money and smile until your face hurts."
Lisa had thrown her little hissy fit at the bonfire and had to be escorted out by Bogum. I'd done a half-assed job pumping Sloane for information about Bogum's chivalry. But inside I was reeling from being that close to Lisa again.
She'd looked angry and almost hurt. As if me standing next to her brother had been some sort of betrayal. It was laughable. She had discarded me like an unwanted receipt and had the nerve to tell me I was moving on too fast when all I'd done was give V the list I'd been working on about people or incidents that felt off to me.
I looked in the rearview mirror. "You are an Ice Queen Swan," I told my reflection. Then I got out of the car and marched inside.
Relief coursed through me when I didn't see her inside. Milford and another line cook were already firing up the kitchen, prepping for the day. I said my hellos and headed into the bar. It was still dark. The stools were stacked, so I turned on the music and the lights and set about getting the place ready.
I'd flipped all the stools, reassembled the soda machine, and was turning on the soup warmer when the side door opened.
Lisa stepped inside, her eyes cutting directly to me.
The breath left my chest, and I suddenly couldn't remember how to inhale.
Damn it. How could someone who'd hurt me so badly look so good? It wasn't fair. She was wearing jeans and another long-sleeved Henley. This one in a forest green. There was a fading bruise on her chin that made her look like trouble. The sexy, delicious kind of trouble.
But the New Jennie was smarter than that. I wasn't going back there.
She nodded at me, but I returned my attention to the soup and tried to pretend she didn't exist. At least until she came too close to ignore.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey," I repeated, putting the metal lid over the warmer and throwing the plastic wrap away.
"I'm on the bar today," she said after a moment's hesitation.
"Okay." I brushed past her to get to the dishwashing station where two divided trays of clean glasses waited. I hefted one, then found it being snatched from my hands. "I've got it," I insisted.
"Now I've got it," Lisa said, carting it up to the soda machine and dropping it on the stainless steel counter.
I rolled my eyes and grabbed the second tray. It, too, was promptly removed from my possession. Ignoring her, I flicked on the heat lamps on the expo line and moved to the POS to check the receipt tape.
I could feel her watching me. Her gaze had a weight and temperature to it. I hated being so aware of her.
I could practically feel her skimming me from head to toe. I'd worn jeans today instead of one of my denim skirts, feeling like every layer of protection was necessary.
"Jennie." Her voice was a rough rasp around my name, and it made me shiver.
I glanced at her and gave her my best fake smile. "Yeah?"
She shoved her hand through her hair, then crossed her arms.
"I owe you an apology. Last night—"
"Don't worry about it. It's forgotten," I said, making a show of checking my apron for my bank and notebook.
"This doesn't have to be…you know. Weird."
"Oh, it's not weird for me," I lied. "It's all in the past. Water under the bridge. We're both moving on."
Her eyes looked like molten silver as she stared me down. The air between us was charged with what felt like an impending lightning strike.
But I forced myself to hold her gaze.
"Right," she said with a clench in her jaw. "Fine."
--
I didn't know exactly how much Lisa had moved on until an hour into the slowest shift ever. Normally a Saturday lunch shift could be counted on for some kind of business, but the whole seven patrons seemed to be content to sip their beers and chew their food 137 times. Even with the new server, Brad, to train, I had too much time to think.
Rather than hang around the bar and deal with Lisa's moody stare, I cleaned.
I was scrubbing down the wall next to the service bar, working on a particularly tricky stain, when the front door opened, and a woman walked in. Or strutted. She wore black suede boots with stiletto heels, the kind of jeans that looked as though they'd been painted on, and a cropped leather jacket.
She had a trio of bracelets wrapped around her right wrist. Her nails were painted a gorgeous, murderous red. I made a mental note to ask her what the color was.
Her dark hair was cut short and worn tousled on top. She had cheekbones that could cut glass, an expertly applied smoky eye, and a wry grin.
I wanted to be her friend. To go shopping with her. To find out everything about her so I, too, could retrace her steps and discover that kind of confidence for myself.
That grin widened when she spotted Lisa behind the bar, and I suddenly wasn't sure I wanted to be friends anymore. I snuck a glance at Lisa and knew I definitely didn't want to be friends. Not with the way she was looking at her with affectionate familiarity.
The girl didn't say a word, just strolled across the bar, eyes on Lisa. When she got there, she didn't slide onto a stool and order what I guessed would be the world's coolest drink. No. She reached across, grabbed her by the shirt, and laid a kiss right on her mouth.
My stomach dropped out of my body and continued to plummet toward the earth's core.
"Oh, shit," Wraith groaned from his table.
"Uh, is that the boss's girlfriend?" Brad, the server I was supposed to be training, asked.
"I guess so," I said, sounding as if I was being strangled. "I'll be back. Hold this." I handed Brad the dirty rag and gave the bar wide berth.
"Jennie!" Lisa sounded pissed. But her moods were no longer my concern.
My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears as I headed toward the restroom with every eye in the place on me.
I pretended I didn't hear her calling my name or the girl greeting her.
"Lisa? Seriously? It's about damn time," a throaty voice said.
"Fucking A, Jisoo. You couldn't have called first? This is the worst goddamn timing."
I didn't hear anything else because I pushed through the restroom door and went straight to the sink. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry, throw up, or pick up the trash can and throw it at Lisa's head. I was trying to get myself under control and considering a plan that would involve all three of my options when the door swung open.
My ex-imaginary friend strolled inside, hands in her back pockets, gaze on me.
I could only imagine what she saw. A pathetic, lovesick, mid-thirties loser with horrible taste in men. That's what I saw in the mirror every morning before I covered it up with mascara and lipstick.
"Jennie," she said.
I cleared my throat, hoping to dissolve the lump that had taken up residence there. "That's me," I said brightly. It sounded like I was choking on thumbtacks, but at least I'd rearranged my face into a carefully blank expression.
"Wow. Game face. I like it. Good for you," she said. "No wonder you've got her balls tied up in knots."
I didn't know what to say, so I pulled a paper towel free and ran it around the perfectly dry, clean counter.
"I'm Jisoo," she said, closing the distance between us, her hand outstretched.
I took the offered hand automatically and shook. "Nice to meet you," I lied. She laughed.
"No, it isn't. Not with that first impression. But I'm going to make up for that and buy you a drink."
"No offense, Jisoo, but the last thing I want to do is sit down at my ex-girlfriend's bar to have drinks with her new girlfriend."
"None taken. But I'm not her new girlfriend. Matter of fact, I'm an ex-ier ex than you are. And we're definitely not drinking here. We need to go someplace without Lisa's big, dumb ears."
I really hoped she wasn't messing with me.
"What do you say?" Jisoo asked, cocking her head. "Lisa is having heart palpitations out there, and every other person is on their phone reporting to the grapevine what just happened. I say we give them all something to freak out over."
"I can't just walk out on a shift," I said.
"Sure you can. We have stories to share. Commiserations to commiserate. Drinks to drink. She's got that cute little helper out there. She'll be fine. And you deserve a break after that shit show."
I took a deep breath and debated. The idea of staying on shift here with Lisa was one step below having my toenails ripped out one at a time during a gynecological exam.
"What color is your nail polish?" I asked.
"Burgundy Blood Bath."
SLOANE: Just heard that Lisa's new girlfriend showed up at the bar and they started having sex on the pool table. Are you okay????? Do you need shovels and tarps?
Me: I've been kidnapped by new girlfriend who is actual old ex-girlfriend. We're daydrinking at Hellhound.
Sloane: Let me find some pants! Be there in fifteen!
--
Hellhound was a biker bar fifteen minutes out of town heading in the direction of D.C. Outside, the parking lot was half full of motorcycles. The crap brown clapboard siding didn't do anything to make the place look more welcoming.
Inside, the lights were dim, the pool tables were plentiful, and Rob Zombie music thudded from a jukebox in the corner. The bar was sticky, and I had to quash the urge to ask for a sponge and some Pine-Sol.
"What'll it be?" the bartender asked. He wasn't smiling, but he also wasn't overly intimidating. He was the tall, burly type with gray hair and a beard. He wore a leather vest over a white long-sleeved tee. The sleeves were pushed up to his elbows to reveal tattoos down both arms.
They made me think of Lisa. Which made me want alcohol.
"What's your name, handsome?" Jisoo asked, settling on a stool.
"Joel."
"Joel, I'll have your best scotch. Make it a double," she decided.
Damn it. I knew she'd order a cool drink.
"You got it. For you, darlin'?" He looked at me.
"Oh. Uh. I'll have a white wine," I said, feeling like the least interesting person in the bar.
He winked at me. "Comin' right up."
"He's no Lisa, but I dig the silver fox thing," Jisoo mused.
My hum was noncommittal.
"Oh, come on. Even if Lisa is a shithead—which she is—you can still appreciate the very fine exterior," Jisoo insisted.
I wasn't in the mood to appreciate anything about the Viking who'd trampled my heart.
Silver Fox Joel plopped our drinks in front of us and left again.
"What are we doing here?" I asked.
Jisoo lifted her glass. "Having drinks. Getting to know each other."
"Why?"
"Because you didn't see the look on Lisa's face right after I laid that closed-mouth kiss on her."
Close-mouthed was good.
Wait.
No. It didn't matter.
Even if Jisoo wasn't with Lisa, she'd dumped me. I didn't need to concern myself with competition.
I ran my finger around the rim of my glass. "What happened to her face?"
She pointed an index finger at me. "Fear. I've known that girl since she was barely a woman, and I've never seen her scared. But I saw fear when she watched you walk away."
I sighed. I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to pretend that there was hope where there was none. "I don't know why she'd be afraid of me walking away. She's the one who already did the walking."
"Let me guess. It wasn't you. It was her. She doesn't do relationships or complications or responsibilities. There's no future, and she's letting you go so you can get on with yours."
I blinked. "You do know her."
"I'll have you know I hold the impressive title of first official non-girlfriend, thank you very much. It was my junior year in college. She was twenty-four. We met at a party, and it lasted four glorious, hormone- and hangover-filled weeks before the idiot got cold feet and handed me my walking papers."
"Judging by your greeting, I'm guessing things ended better for you than they did for me."
Jisoo smiled and took a sip of scotch. "She underestimated my stubbornness. See, I could do without her as a girlfriend. But I wanted to keep her around as a friend. So I forced her into a friendship. We talk every couple of months. Before she hit that lottery, we'd meet up every couple of years. Always someplace neutral. We'd play wingman for each other."
I downed the wine in three big gulps. Before I even put the glass down on the bar, another one arrived.
"Thanks, Joel." I traded the empty glass for the full one. "What's her problem, anyway?"
Jisoo snorted and sipped again. "What's anyone's problem? Baggage. People meet, sparks fly, then they spend all their time trying to hide who they really are so they can stay attractive. Then we're surprised when it doesn't work out."
She had a point.
"If everyone just introduced themselves with their baggage, imagine how much time we'd save. Hi, I'm Jisoo. I have daddy issues and a jealous streak combined with a temper that means you should never cross me. Also, I've been known to eat an entire tray of brownies in one sitting and I never fold laundry."
I couldn't help but laugh.
"Your turn," she said.
"Hi, Jisoo. I'm Jennie and I keep falling for guys who don't see a future with me. But I keep hoping the future I'm envisioning for the both of us will be good enough to keep them around. Also, I hate my twin sister, and it makes me feel like a bad person. Oh, and Lisa Manoban ruined orgasms for me for the rest of my life."
It was Jisoo's turn to laugh. Another scotch appeared in front of her.
"This guy knows what's up," she said, pointing to our bartender friend.
"Two ladies come into this place talking about the same person, and Imma keep the drinks coming," he assured us.
"Joel, you're a true gentleman," Jisoo said.
The front door burst open, and Sloane appeared. She was makeup-free and wearing knockoff Uggs, leggings, and an oversize Virginia Tech football jersey. Her hair hung in a thick braid over her shoulder.
"You must be the new trollop," Sloane said.
"And you must be the cavalry coming to save Princess Jennie from the She Beast," Jisoo guessed.
I snorted into my wine. "Sloane, this is Jisoo. Jisoo is the original Lisa ex-girlfriend. Sloane is an overprotective librarian with great hair." I pointed down the bar. "And that's Joel our silver fox bartender."
Sloane took the stool next to me, and before her butt had gotten comfortable, Joel appeared. "You date the same person too?" he asked.
She rested her chin in her hand. "No, Joel, I did not. I'm just here for moral support."
"You wanna drink while you morally support?"
"Sure do. How's your Bloody Mary?"
"Spicy as fuck."
"I'll take a Bloody Mary and a round of Fireball."
Joel saluted and wandered off to make the drinks.
One of the men at the pool table closest to us ambled over. He had impressive spikes on the shoulders of his vest and a Fu Manchu to write home about. "Buy you bitches a drink?"
We swiveled on our stools as one.
"No, thank you," I said.
"Fuck off," Jisoo replied with a mean smile.
"If you think referring to us as 'bitches' is going to get you invited into the conversation, let alone one of our beds, you're about to be deeply disappointed," Sloane said.
"Move along, Reaper," Joel told him without looking up from the quart of vodka he was pouring into Sloane's glass.
My phone buzzed on the bar, and I glanced down.
Lisa: That wasn't what it looked like. I'm not seeing Jisoo.
Lisa: Not that it's any of your business.
Lisa: Fuck. At least text me back and tell me where you are.
For someone who was done with me, she sure texted a whole heck of a lot.
Me: It's this awesome place called None of Your Business. Stop. Texting. Me.
I slid my phone over to Sloane. "Here. You're in charge of this."
Jisoo held up her phone to show us a text.
Lisa: Where the fuck did you take her?
"See?" she said. "Fear."
"I don't think I'm going back to work today," I said.
"Hey, Eleanor's hanging out at the museum in D.C. with Nina and her dads. There's no better way to spend a fall Saturday than getting blitzed."
"What's a Eleanor?" Jisoo asked.
"My niece."
"The niece Jennie didn't know about because her estranged twin sister sucks," Sloane added. She twirled the tip of her braid around her fingers and stared blankly at the football game on the screen.
"Are you okay?" I asked her.
"I'm fine. I'm just sick of men."
"Amen, sister," I said, raising my glass at her.
"My sister, Chloe's mom? She's bi. Every time she dates a man who pisses her off, she ends up dating nothing but women for like twelve months. She's my hero. Makes me wish I didn't like penis so much."
Joel set a Bloody Mary with a floating stick of bacon in front of Sloane and didn't bat an eye at the word penis.
I winced. "Please don't say penis."
"My experience with Lisa's equipment is almost twenty years old. So I can only imagine how much better she's gotten with age," Jisoo said with sympathy.
"You know, with this whole guardianship, maybe it's just better to focus on being a parent figure and forget about being a woman with…"
"Sexual needs?" Sloane filled in.
I picked up my wine. "How many glasses would it take to forget about sex?"
"Usually around one and a half bottles. But that comes with a hangover that cuts you off at the knees for three days, so I wouldn't recommend," Jisoo said.
"She really made me believe," I whispered.
Joel lined up the shots in front of us, and I stared at mine.
"I know she said things wouldn't go anywhere. But she made me believe. She kept showing up. Not just for me, but for Eleanor too."
"Back the truck up. Lisa Manoban? Spent time with your kid? Willingly?"
"She took her shopping. She showed up at her soccer game and got her to stop swearing. She told her that strong people stand up for the ones who can't stand up for themselves. She picked her up at a sleepover. Watched football with her."
Jisoo shook her head. "She's so fucked up."
"All of them are," Sloane said.
Joel stopped and gave her the eye.
"Except you, Joel. You're a hero among villains," she amended.
With a nod, he handed over a fresh glass of wine for me and vanished again.
Sloane attached herself to the straw of her drink like it was a protein shake after a body building competition.
"Okay, seriously. What's going on with you?" I asked. "Does this have something to do with Bogum last night?"
"Bogum? Now, that's a sexy name," Jisoo said.
Sloane snorted.
"A sexy name to go with a sexy man," I agreed.
"There is nothing sexy about Bogum Park," Sloane said when she came up for air.
"Okay. You're definitely lying. Either that or an entire section of the Dewey Decimal System fell on your head."
She shook her head and picked up her shot. "I'm not talking about Bogum. None of us are talking about Bogum. We're talking about Lisa."
"Can we stop talking about her?" I asked. It felt like an X-Acto knife to the heart every time I heard her name.
"Of course," Jisoo said.
"Cheers," Sloane said, lifting her shot glass.
We clinked glasses and knocked back the whiskey.
A man with a toothpick dangling precariously from his mouth wandered up and leaned an elbow on the bar, crowding Jisoo. His t-shirt didn't quite cover the belly that peeked out over the top of his black jeans.
"Which one of you ladies wants to come check out the back of my bike?"
Joel lined up another round of shots in front of us.
Jisoo picked up her shot. Sloane and I followed suit and knocked them back. She put the glass down on the bar, and before Toothpick knew what was happening, she had the stiletto of her boot digging into his chest.
"Go away before I make you bleed in front of your friends," she said.
"I like her and her shoes," Sloane whispered next to me.
"Christ, Python, leave 'em alone before your old lady shows up and cuts off your balls."
"Listen to the nice man, Python," Jisoo said, giving him a shove with her foot. He slid down the bar a foot, then put his hands up.
"Just askin'. Didn't know you were lesbos."
"Because that's the only reason we wouldn't want to fuck you, right?" Sloane said.
Sloane was a lightweight, and she'd already had two shots and a very strong Bloody Mary.
"Can we maybe get some water?" I asked Joel.
He nodded, then cupped his hands. "Listen up, assholes. The ladies aren't lookin' for a ride or a good time. Next idiot who bothers them is gettin' thrown out."
There was a general muttering around us, and then everyone went back to what they were doing.
"Joel, are you married?" I asked.
He held up his left hand to show me a gold band.
"All the good ones are taken," I complained.
The front door opened again.
"You have got to be kidding me," Sloane groaned. Joel handed over a fresh Bloody Mary, and she dove for it.
I swiveled around on my stool, wobbling a bit as the alcohol fought my equilibrium.
"Oh, my," Jisoo purred next to me. "Who are they?"
"More cavalry," Sloane muttered.
Bogum and V wandered up to the bar looking six shades of gorgeous.