JENNIE

I started waking earlier and earlier. I usually was awake before Taehyung now, and considering how late I went to bed at night, that also usually meant I needed a nap in the afternoon after school, but I couldn't seem to help myself. The thought of Lisa awake and downstairs all alone seemed to be a natural alarm clock for me. That worried me a little, but the allure of her warms arms was too strong. I was too addicted. I couldn't stop myself from rushing downstairs to see her every morning.

One morning, while we were waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, her arms slipped around my waist, my hands folded over her, my back resting against her chest, and my head resting on her shoulder, completely relaxed in her arms, I asked her a familiar question. "If I ask you something, will you promise to not get mad?"

I spun in her arms to face her and placed my hands on her chest. She chuckled and nodded, smiling peacefully at me. I paused, wondering if I really wanted to know the answer to my question. "Will it bother you if Taehyung and I sleep together?"

Her face paled but she kept her smile. "You sleep with him every night."

I jabbed her lightly in the ribs. "You know what I mean," I said, blushing.

"Will it bother me, if you have sex with your boyfriend?" she asked softly.

I blushed again and nodded. She smiled softly but said nothing. "Just answer the question." I smiled and raised an eyebrow at using her phrase against her.

She laughed softly and looked away. Sighing, she finally answered. "Yes, yes it will bother me…but, I understand." She turned to look at me again. "You're not mine," she said wistfully.

Sudden emotion swept through me. I felt a surge of sympathy for her and I desperately wanted to hold her tight, to stroke her cheek and kiss her lips. I pulled away from her embrace and she frowned, trying to keep me close to her. "Just a minute… " I whispered.

She let go and looked at me confused. "I'm fine, Jennie."

I looked at her sadly. "I need a minute, Lisa."

"Oh…" she said softly, looking surprised.

I had to stay away from her for quite a while… the urge to kiss her was so strong. That worried me. We were staring at each other across the kitchen, leaning on our respective counters and sipping on our coffees, when I heard the shower start running. I glanced up to where the bathroom was at and then back down to Lisa. She had an odd look on her face. I couldn't even begin to place it. Eventually, I finished my coffee and putting my hand across her arm, I set down my mug. She looked down at me when I touched her and my breath caught at the look in her eye. Forcing it back, I gave her a quick squeeze and then made my way back upstairs to where Taehyung was getting ready for work.

Taehyung smiled when he came back from his shower to find me sitting in bed. "Hey, good morning," he said warmly as he kissed my cheek.

I smiled softly, but I was still thinking about the conversation Lisa and I had just had downstairs. Taehyung sat down next to me, still just wrapped in a towel. He looked over at me with a goofy grin. That made my smile wider. Then he frowned and I did too. "I'm probably going to be late tonight."

My heart dropped a little. "Oh…why?"

He sighed and stood back up to get dressed. He tossed his towel on the bed and I watched him with a small smile on my lips. Noticing my attention, he sighed again. "I wish I had more time with you," he said wistfully. I looked away and bit my lip while he laughed softly. "Max. He's got me finishing this project for him that apparently his uncle wanted today, but he was too busy with…um…paid escorts, over the weekend to do it himself."

My mouth dropped open as I turned back to look at him. He had his boxers on and was pulling up some black slacks. He looked at me wryly and shook his head. "I guess I should be grateful we got the weekend together and he didn't just call me in to finish it then." He sighed and shook his head again as he buttoned his pants.

Tiny guilt washed through me at what his job now entailed and I swallowed it back. He noticed my expression and forced a smile on his face as he grabbed a shirt from the dresser. "I'm not trying to complain, Jennie. I'm sorry."

He was sorry. I swallowed more guilt back. "No…you have a right to complain. Max is an ass."

He laughed and slipped on his shirt. Walking over to him, I stopped his hands from buttoning it. He smiled warmly at me as I finished with the buttons for him. When I was done, I tucked his shirt in and he smiled even wider. "I love you so much for putting up with your crappy job to stay here with me," I said to him when I was finished.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I would put up with much worse to stay here with you."

I knew he meant those words as endearing, but they pierced my heart. If he only knew. I was quiet while he finished dressing. I was quiet when I kissed him goodbye. I was quiet when I decided to forgo cuddling on the couch with Lisa, to get ready for school early.

The hot water cleared my head and my swirling emotions washed down the drain with the soapy water. I picked out my favorite clingy, long-sleeved blouse and khaki cargos and took time to curl my already wavy hair. I wasn't sure why…maybe because I had the time. Maybe because looking better had a way of making you feel better. Either way, after my relaxing shower and looking my best, which was probably just slightly past passable really, I felt okay again.

And I was rewarded with a dazzling smile from Lisa as I made my way downstairs. That made my day a little. She seemed to be fine from our earlier conversation as well. She grabbed my hand and my bag as she led me to her car. She begged me to let her walk me to class, so I conceded. Really, it wasn't necessary, but who was I to deny a gorgeous begging girl? I suppose it was worth another potential quiz session to walk with her through the halls.

She lightly held my fingers as she walked me to Econ and we talked about my parents and the last reluctant phone call I had placed with them. They weren't too happy that Taehyung was so busy and I was alone so much. I made the mistake of telling them that Lisa was home a lot, which had started the 'doesn't she have a job' conversation, which led to the 'she's in a band' conversation, which turned into the 'I'm really not comfortable with you living with a rock star' conversation. Lisa was laughing pretty hard by the time she opened the door to my classroom. The sound of her laugh stayed with me all throughout that class.

Afterwards, Lisa met me in the hall with an extra large espresso in her hand for me. I immediately threw my arms around her neck, careful to not spill my precious drink. "Ahhh…coffee! I love you!"

I froze after I realized what I'd just said, but she started laughing, and was smiling warmly at me when I pulled away. "What is it about me and coffee that drives you over the edge?" she asked playfully, biting her lip and raising her eyebrows suggestively.

I blushed and smacked her shoulder, knowing exactly what incident in a certain coffee stand that she was referring to. I grabbed my cup from her hand and stormed off down the hall. She easily caught up to me, still chuckling.

I glared over at her and she laughed even harder. "Oh, come on…that was kind of funny?"

I rolled my eyes. "You're a little twisted."

She smirked. "You have no idea…"

I raised my eyebrow at that and she laughed again until I finally joined in with her. She grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers as we left the building and walked casually to her car. I tried to ignore the stares she drew around us; none of these people knew Taehyung…right?

Taehyung did work late that night and Lisa had a show at a small bar I'd never heard of, so I was alone for the evening and took advantage of the fact that I had the night off from Pete's by doing something I very rarely got to do - I went to bed early.

The next morning I woke up early, feeling rather refreshed. I was surprisingly alone in the kitchen, filling my coffee cup with creamer, and idly wondering when Lisa was going to saunter into the kitchen and slip her arms around me. It was so unusual for me to beat her downstairs and in my anticipation I could practically already smell her. Lost in warm thoughts, suddenly arms did slip around me, and I snuggled back into the embrace while stirring my coffee.

"There you are Li-"

I immediately froze my words when lips started trailing up my neck - warm, soft lips, followed by a flick of a warm, soft tongue, and occasionally brushing against my sensitive skin, the light hair of his jaw line. My heart raced. I had been about to say Lisa's name and it wasn't Lisa embracing me.

My heart leapt into my throat, effectively cutting off all speech. Taehyung murmured good morning into my neck, apparently not catching my nearly disastrous mistake. My breath sped in a nervous panic as his lips trailed up my jaw. I couldn't calm down…that had been so close.

His lips ran up to my ear and sucked on an earlobe. "I missed you," he said huskily, as he pulled me tight to him. "Our bed was cold without you." His accent curled delightfully around the words.

My breath started to speed for another reason and I turned around in his arms to kiss him. His mouth eagerly met mine and I forced myself to push all thoughts of Lisa to the very back of my mind; it was surprisingly hard to do.

Abruptly Taehyung's lips stopped moving and sighing, he pulled away from me. Guilt flashed through me and again panic clenched my throat. I tried to keep my face from betraying any of my inner turmoil as he ran a few fingers down my cheek. "I wish I could stay." He sighed heavily. "Max needs me to come in early today. I have to go get ready."

Suddenly he gave me my favorite goofy grin and I instantly started relaxing. He playfully grabbed my hand and led me from the kitchen, back up the stairs. Laughing softly as he held both of my hands and pulled me into the bathroom, I asked, "I thought you had to get ready. What exactly are we doing?"

Chuckling, he shut the bathroom door. "I am going to get ready." He moved past me to turn on the water for the shower. "And you're going to help me." He winked adorably at me.

"Oh really?" I laughed, as I started to sit on the toilet to watch him.

He grabbed me just as I was sitting down, pulling me back up. "Oh yes," he said suggestively, with a glint in his eye that I knew very well.

"Oh," I said, suddenly understanding what he wanted. He made himself even clearer the next instant, by stripping off my tank top. I laughed again as he kissed my neck and started pulling down my pants, underwear and all.

He pulled back and stripped off his clothes and we gazed at each other for a moment. Love for this beautiful, wonderful man filled me, dissolving the enormous guilt built up in my heart. He smiled warmly and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

He stuck his hand in the shower to feel the water, then scooped me up, making me laugh again as he stepped us inside. It was heaven - the water was warm, his hands were soft, his lips enticing. The water streamed off his beautiful, tanned body and I relaxed into the rightness of being with him. It felt natural and easy and good, and for just a few moments, I let myself enjoy him with no guilt, no feelings of betrayal.

I ran my fingers back through his dark hair, making sure it was completely soaked through. He smiled and closed his equally dark eyes. I grabbed our cheap all-in-one shampoo and massaged it into his hair as he sighed happily. He spun me around and moved out of the way of the warm water, so he could do the same for me. I giggled and relaxed into his amazing fingers. He rinsed out my hair, kissing my forehead in the process, and then rinsed out his own while I kissed his chest and grabbed the bar soap.

While he rinsed, I rubbed every area of his chest and abdomen with the soap, the bubbles trailing down his body suggestively. I bit my lip watching those bubbles slide down his thighs and he smiled, taking the soap from my hand and putting it back on the shelf. Then he pulled me tight to him, the soap on his body transferring to mine. He used his hands to make sure every square inch of my flesh was coated in suds, lingering on my breasts and my rigid nipples before moving around to my backside. I gasped when his hand moved between my thighs.

My hands moved up to grasp his neck as he used his hands to urge my hips into a euphoric rhythm against his. My head drifted into a pleasant fog as Taehyung became my entire world - every smell, every touch, every breath, and every movement. It was intoxicating and beautiful and heartwarming…and maybe, if at that moment I allowed myself to feel it, a little sad.

Within moments, his breath increased to a quick pant and he clenched my hips satisfactorily with a deep groan as he came. He never stopped his rhythm though, and moments later I arched against him and cried out as the intenseness ripped through me. We both caught our breaths as the water started to cool along with us, and then he gently lowered me and moved aside so the tepid water could wash away any remaining bubbles between us.

"I love you," he said, as he shut the water off.

He stepped out of the shower and handed me a towel to dry off with. I smiled warmly at him as I stepped out of the shower to stand next to him on the fuzzy bath rug. "I love you too."

He helped dry me off a little with his towel, making me giggle, and then he dried himself off and we left our cozy, steamy little bathroom to finish getting him ready for work. It wasn't too much later that Taehyung, dressed in his khaki slacks and blue button-up shirt (he did look amazing in blue) with still slightly damp hair that, of course, he let me style for him, and me, in my basic jeans and blouse, my hair also damp and combed through, which Taehyung lovingly did for me, made our way back down to the kitchen.

Lisa was finally downstairs, drinking her coffee and looking casually perfect, if a little pale. Taehyung nodded to her, smiling happily. "G'Day, mate."

Lisa, although wan, managed an effortlessly casual smile. "Mornin'…mate."

Taehyung kissed me one last time, cupping my cheek. "Now I am going to be late." He grinned at me suggestively, making me blush horribly. "You're worth it though," he whispered.

I glanced over at Lisa. She paled a little more, studiously drinking her coffee now, and I knew that she knew what that meant. Maybe she'd even heard us in the shower. I couldn't remember if I was quiet or not…probably not. Taehyung gave me a final hug, cheerily said goodbye, and then left for work. I stood, rather stupidly, in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do.

"I put your coffee in the microwave," Lisa whispered from the table. I looked over to her pale face, her soft eyes. "It was cold…" she finished.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and went over to the microwave, starting it for one minute. I turned back to Lisa while it reheated. "Lisa…I'm-"

"Don't," she interrupted softly, staring blankly into her cup.

I blinked. "But…"

She stood up and walked over to me. She stopped a ways from me and didn't touch me. "You don't owe me an explanation…" she looked at the floor, "and you definitely don't owe me an apology," she looked back up at me, "so just….don't say anything, please."

Guilt and sympathy for her washed through me, and I held my arms open for her. "Come here." She hesitated a moment, a torn look on her face, then she slipped her arms around my waist and buried hee head in my neck. I held her tight and rubbed her back. "I'm sorry," I whispered in her ear. She may not want to hear it, but I needed to say it.

She exhaled softly and nodded in my shoulder, clutching me a little tighter.

She was still pale and a little quiet when she drove me to school. Guilt surged through me. It had bothered her. I wasn't sure why, I wasn't sure what I was to her, but she had told me it would bother her, and it did seem to, and I did feel bad about that. But I wasn't hers. We were just friends…and Taehyung was my boyfriend and it was going to happen again. I watched her silent face as we drove the short distance to school. I hoped she wasn't hurt too badly.

She walked me to class again and seemed to perk up on the way there. She wanted to discuss my Lit class, and had some amusing theories on Austen's view of society…most of them linked with my earlier Psych lesson on sexual repression. This time, I was laughing pretty hard by the time she opened the door to the room, and I'm pretty sure my face was bright red.

I decided to skip out on Psych class. I know, not the best idea, but I was anxious to get home and spend a little free time with Lisa before work, and it was more on Freud, which I just couldn't take today. When I walked through the door, I saw Lisa playing her guitar on the couch. The song was beautiful, and I smiled at her warmly as she looked over and gave me a look that quickened my heart. She stopped playing and started to set down her guitar.

"No, don't stop," I said as I walked over to sit beside her. "It's beautiful."

She looked down, smiling softly, and then shook her head slightly. She put the guitar on my lap instead. "Here…try again."

I grimaced, the last time she had tried to teach me, I had been atrocious. "It's beautiful when you play it. Something seems to happen to it when I try."

She laughed and twisted me on the couch, so that she could put her arms behind me and her hands over mine. "You just need to hold it right," she whispered in my ear. Her breath sent a shiver down my spine and I closed my eyes for a second, inhaling her scent deeply, while she adjusted our fingers on the guitar.

"Okay…hey." She nudged my shoulder with a short laugh when she noticed that my eyes were closed. Embarrassed, I blushed and opened my eyes and she laughed again. "Here…your fingers are perfect, right under mine." She lightly held my fingers in an awkward position on the neck of the guitar. "Now," she showed me the pick in her other hand, "lightly strum it like this…" She did it once, the guitar humming beautifully.

She placed the pick lightly in my fingers and I tried to copy her move. The sound was not a beautiful hum, it wasn't beautiful at all. She laughed and grabbed my hand, basically doing the strumming for me. With her doing all of the work, the guitar was once again, beautiful. She idly moved our fingers across the neck, while strumming our locked hands together on the body, playing a simple rhythm. Eventually, I picked up the feel for it and relaxed into her.

She smiled and gazed at me, still playing for us without even looking. "This really isn't so hard. I learned this one when I was six." She winked at me and I blushed again.

"Well…you're just more talented with your fingers." I blurted out, momentarily distracted by her easy smile.

She stopped playing and laughed. I rolled my eyes and laughed with her. "You have such a dirty mind. You and Jackson are a lot alike." I blushed again.

She grimaced, then laughed again. "I can't help it if I think that way around you." She gazed at me intently and then took her hands off the guitar. "You try."

I put my hands back where they had been and tried again to strum like she did. Amazingly, after the third or fourth time, it sounded okay and looking back at her I giggled. She smiled and nodded, then she showed me a different chord, and after a few tries I managed to make that one sound sort of decent. After quite a bit of fumbled attempts, I could finally sort-of play the song she had learned when she was just a kid. I played for awhile, her adjusting my fingers every now and then or showing me a new chord when I finally got one down.

Eventually, I sagged against her and flexed my hand. She laughed and put the guitar on the ground, pulling me back into her chest and grabbing my hand to massage it. I was careful not to make any noises to distract her. It was heaven.

"You have to build up the strength for it," she murmured, as she rubbed out my aching fingers.

"Hmmmm…" I closed my eyes, enjoying the closeness of her.

Eventually she stopped and held me against her. I felt like I could stay there all night, warm in her arms. "Can we try something?" she asked quietly.

I stiffened automatically in her embrace, and turned to look back at her smiling softly at me. "What?" I asked cautiously.

She laughed at my reluctance. "It's innocent…I promise."

She abruptly lied back on the couch and held her arms out to me. I looked at her, confused, and then snuggled into her shoulder, nestling into the space between her and the couch. She sighed happily and wrapped her arms around me, stroking my arm lightly.

I pulled back and looked at her, still confused. "This is what you wanted to do?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, it looked…nice when you did this with Taehyung…"

I nodded and laid my head on her chest, fighting back the sudden guilt at the mention of Taehyung's name, and at the simple affection that Lisa wanted from me. I carefully put a leg over her and an arm over her chest. She sighed again and leaned her head against mine. Her heartbeat was steady and strong. I felt like mine was all over the place.

"Is this okay with you?" she whispered into my hair.

I forced myself to relax. This simplicity was all she wanted, and I was enjoying her closeness. "Yeah…it's nice. Are you okay?" I absentmindedly traced a circle on her chest.

She chuckled softly. "I'm fine, Jennie." She gently rubbed my back.

I sighed and truly relaxed, clutching her tighter with my arm and my leg. She pulled me tighter in response and we simply held each other. I watched her shirt rise and fall with her even breathing. I gazed at the skin of her neck. I watched her throat move when she swallowed. I lingered over the near right angle at the corner of her strong jaw. Finally, I closed my eyes and nestled into her neck, letting the warmth of her presence wash over me.

All too soon she stirred beneath me, and I realized that I had fallen asleep in her embrace. "Sorry…I didn't mean to wake you."

I sat bolt upright and stared at the front door, her familiar words stirring a memory in me. "Taehyung," I whispered, glancing down at her confused face.

She sat up and hooked some hair behind my ear. "You weren't asleep long. It's still early. He won't be home for an hour or so." She looked away thoughtfully. "I wouldn't let him…" She looked back at me. "I won't let him see this, if you don't want him to."

I was immediately shaking my head. No, Taehyung wouldn't understand. I wasn't sure that I even did. She nodded and looked at me intently. Needing a break from her intenseness, I spat out a question that had been jostling in my head for awhile.

"Where did you go when you use to disappear? When you didn't come home all night?" I settled back into the couch sitting side-by-side with her. She smiled at me, but said nothing. I frowned at her reaction. "If you were…if you are seeing someone, you should just tell me." She really didn't have an obligation to tell me anything, but I was insanely curious.

She cocked her head to the side endearingly. "Is that what you think? That when I'm not with you, I'm with a woman?"

I cringed and regretted even asking her. Quietly, I made myself say, "You're not with me, you have every right…" I grabbed her fingers and held her hand, avoiding her gaze, "…to date."

"I know," she said softly, rubbing her thumb on the back of my hand. "Would it bother you, if I was seeing someone?" she asked quietly.

I swallowed and turned my head away from her, not wanting to answer. It slipped out anyway. "Yes," I whispered. She sighed, and when I looked back, she was staring at the floor. "What?" I asked cautiously.

She put an arm around my waist and pulled me close, rubbing my back. "Nothing."

"I'm not being fair, am I?" I asked, melting into her tender embrace. "I'm with Taehyung. You and I are…just friends. I can't ask you to never…"

She shifted uncomfortably and then chuckled. "Well, we could solve this little problem, if you relaxed your rules." She grinned over at me devilishly. "Especially that first one."

I kept my face serious and she stopped laughing. Quietly, I said, "I'll understand. I won't like it, anymore than you probably like me with Taehyung…but, I'll understand. Just don't hide it. Don't sneak around on me. We shouldn't have secrets…"

I realized how absurd that sounded, and a part of me didn't want to know, didn't want to see it, but I didn't want to be in the dark either. I knew that we were border-line friends, occasionally drifting into something more. I realized that what we were doing - flirting, being so close all the time - was dangerous and stupid, like we were tempting fate. I knew it, I just couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop thinking about her, wanting to be near her, wanting to touch her, hold her. But, it couldn't be anything more than that, and it wasn't right to ask her to deny herself…anything, for this small piece of myself that I was allowing her. That wasn't fair.

She looked at me wistfully for a full minute before finally nodding, once.

I gazed at her sad eyes. "So, where do you go?" I whispered.

Her expression changed and warmed, her eyes sparkling at me. "Where do I go? Well, it depends. Sometimes its Lucas and Jackson's place, sometimes its Evan's. Sometimes I drink myself into oblivion on Sam's doorstep." She grinned devilishly and chuckled at that, with an odd amused look in her eye.

"Oh…" The answer was so simple, that it should have been obvious to me. I had just assumed that she had been out "sowing her wild oats" as they say. I reached up and stroked her cheek, feeling that I could finally ask her the question that I really wanted an answer to. "Where did you go after our first time? I didn't see you all day, all night? And you came home…" Completely wasted, I thought, but didn't say.

Abruptly she stood up and held out her hand. "Come on. I'll give you a ride to Pete's."

I stood and took her hand. "Lisa, you can tell me, I won't…"

She smiled at me, her eyes showing no humor. "You don't want to be late."

I knew our conversation was over and it irritated me. Her avoidance also filled my stomach with dread. We shouldn't have any secrets, but apparently we did. "You don't have to give me a ride everywhere you know." She raised an eyebrow and smirked at me. "I managed just fine without you," I pouted.

She rolled her eyes and smiling, led me upstairs so I could get ready for work. She stayed with me at the bar for most of the evening. I chided her about missing rehearsal with the guys, and she laughed and rolled her eyes at me again. It made me feel equally nice and equally worried, that she'd rather spend the time with me.

During one of my breaks, she attempted to teach me how to play pool better. That was pretty amusing, since our skill level was virtually the same. Honestly, I think she just liked helping me line up shots and honestly, I liked having her body stretched across mine as she helped me line up shots. We played a quick game while I ate a small meal. Well, for anyone else it would have been a quick game. After the both of us repeatedly missed shot after shot, my break was over, my meal was done, and I went back to work, leaving her to finish up the game with Jackson, to whom she lost terribly.

I snuck my head in the pool room as their game was finally finishing. Laughing that she'd predictably lost, I said, "Better keep your day job, Band Girl."

She raised an eyebrow and twisted her lips derisively. "Band Girl?" Smiling, I nodded and walked away. From behind me I heard, rather loudly, "Band Girl? Really, what are we in the Fifth Grade?"

I laughed at her remark as I headed up to the bar to place an order. Somi smiled when she joined me. "You and Lisa seem better?"

I frowned at her after relaying my order to Rita, who moved to the other side of the bar to fill it. "What do you mean?" Kate joined me on my other side and gracefully sat on a stool to wait for Rita to get back.

Somi cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brow slightly. "Well, she seemed a little cold towards you awhile ago."

Kate chimed in, "Did she? What, did you use all her shampoo or something?" She sighed dreamily. "God, she's got great hair."

I laughed nervously at the both of them. "Yeah…just stupid roommate stuff. We're fine now." Luckily, I didn't have to elaborate as Rita came back with my order. I left the three of them discussing the virtues of Lisa's hair as I finished up my night. I needed to be more careful around Somi. She noticed too much.