Chapter Three: Going Ghost

"If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way I told you." - Eggs on Ice by Laura Childs

The plan is to meet up with Eileen after school each day to go…wherever she's taking me to train. We are doing this under the guise of "special tutoring sessions" that she used at her old school. My mom said that she was willing to try anything at this point.

Okay, that's not how she phrased it over the phone, but I knew what she meant.

Training is supposed to start tomorrow, so when my Ghost Sense goes off just before the doorbell rings, the last thing I expect when I answer the door is to see "Ms. Mae" standing on the porch.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, thinking of the new sensors my parents just installed and hoping my teacher doesn't come any closer.

Eileen fluffs up her fake dark curls. "I figure if I'm going to be spending so much time with a student, I may as well let his parents know that I'm not a pedophile."

So not the response I was expecting. "There's a story here, isn't there?"

She blows out an annoyed breath. "Don't get me started."

"Well, uh, you really can't come in here."

Eileen laughs and shakes her head. "Danny, they're not gonna know what I am just because I walked into their living room."

Before I can stop her, she steps past me and-

'Ghost detected. Activating ecto-seeking missiles.'

Eileen freezes in place as two hatches open up in the ceiling, two machine guns dropping down and aiming at her. Jazz runs into the room and presses her hand to a sensor on the wall. The guns retract into the ceiling, and a mechanical voice announces, 'Missiles deactivated. Have a nice ghost-free day.' We all breathe a sigh of relief.

"I can safely say that I've never received a greeting like that before," Eileen comments.

"Sorry. Our parents just installed those this morning," Jazz says to Eileen. "They're, um, a little buggy."

I'd asked Eileen if I could tell Jazz, Sam, and Tucker about her, since we all had her on our radar and they would totally keep her secret, but she said no. She isn't comfortable with any humans finding out, considering the bad rep ghosts still have, despite my own attempts at alleviating that. As far as the team knows, Ms. Mae was being stalked by a ghost, whom I've already taken care of, and Ms. Mae doesn't know my secret. I feel weird keeping this from them, but I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't respect Eileen's wishes.

"Where's the ghost?" Dad shouts as he and Mom rush in from presumably the lab. "Did the missiles work?" He deflates when he sees his kids, a human-looking black woman, and no splatters of ectoplasm. "Guess it's back to the drawing board," he whines.

"I'm so sorry," Mom says as she approaches Eileen. "You must be Ms. Mae." They shake hands. "I'm Maddie, and this is my husband, Jack," Mom adds when Dad steps forward.

"Nice to meet you. And, call me Francesca," Eileen says, shaking Dad's hand now. She turns to my sister, who is now standing beside me. "I assume you're Danny's sister."

My sister nods. "I'm Jazz." She leans in and whispers to me, "We'll be fine. You just focus on your studies."

I just nod, feeling a twinge of guilt. The team knows how desperate I am to keep my promise and be a better student. When I said that Ms. Mae offered some one-on-one tutoring sessions, they offered to take care of any ghosts so I could focus on that. I hate the idea of not being there for them if there is a problem, but I remind myself that this training will pay off in the end. Still, I didn't relent until the guys promised to call me if the ghosts became more than they could handle. I trust my teammates, but that doesn't mean I want them getting hurt or worse.

"Since you're here," Mom says to Eileen after the adults chat for a while (as in, recognizing Eileen from school and apologizing for nailing her with the Booo-merang), "would you like to stay for dinner?"

Eileen smiles but glances up at the ceiling. "Oh, I-I don't want to impose." Translation: Don't destabilize me.

"Nonsense," Dad assures. "I just fixed the oven. It exploded last week, but I got it back to factory condition," he proudly raises his chin, "and I'm christening it with my mother's recipe for herbed chicken."

Suddenly, though not surprisingly, there's a loud bang in the kitchen followed by gurgling noises. We all rush in to check it out and find the oven wide open and Dad's half-cooked chicken crawling around on the floor.

"Does this happen a lot?" Eileen asks me as Mom and Dad try to round up what used to be dinner.

"Yep," I deadpan.

"Who's up for pizza?" Jazz asks casually.

There is an abandoned warehouse in the woods. This is to be our training ground. It's close to town, but it's also far enough that no one should notice anything out of the ordinary.

Unfortunately, my Ghost Sense goes off as we fly closer, so training might have to wait.

As if reading my thoughts, Eileen says, "Oh, I almost forgot. The warehouse is actually my friend's Haunt. He wanted to grab his things before we got there, so don't be surprised if you see another ghost."

Ah. I feel better now.

There are times when a spirit leaves the Ghost Zone and stumbles across the place they died. They become attached and, while they don't always live there, they visit frequently and are extremely protective of the place. That's probably why Eileen initially thought I was "territorial" over Amity Park. No one knows why this happens and it's a pretty rare phenomenon. For Eileen's friend to allow us to use this place for training, he must really trust her.

The old warehouse is a massive structure covered in plant life, holes, and chipped, faded paint. I'm a little concerned about the place collapsing on us while we're inside. Then again, we are ghosts. We phase in through the roof and the second floor, landing on the first and kicking up years of dust and bugs in the process. Well, I land; Eileen's lack of legs means she can only get so far.

Eileen's friend is definitely here. There are twenty or so boxes floating around, disappearing one by one as her friend sends them wherever they're going. I hear him humming a merry tune as he does this and turn around to see a short, plump blue ghost in overalls-

Oh. My. God.

"Hey, Lawrence," Eileen greets with a cheery wave.

Box Ghost - he does not look like a Lawrence - finally notices her and grins. "Hey, Eileen. I'm just finishing up inventory. I'll be done in a min-" Box Ghost sees me, and I'm pretty sure my own disbelief is mirrored on his face. He points to me and asks Eileen, "This is your student?"

I point back to him. "Your name is Lawrence?"

Leaving his floating cardboard for the time being, Box Ghost flies up in my face with a hard glare. "Only to friends, he who holds the cylindrical container of imprisonment!"

Definitely not a Lawrence. Maybe a Larry. "It's called a Thermos, dude," I correct.

Eileen floats in between us before this can escalate. "So, you're already acquainted," she notes awkwardly. "Good to know."

Acquainted is one way of putting it. At least old Boxy is more of a nuisance than an actual threat. Except that time he got a hold of Pandora's Box, but we all have our moments. He finishes up his "inventory," keeping an eye on me the whole time, before making himself and his boxes scarce.

If this is his Haunt, that would explain why he's always popping up around town.

Once he's gone I have two questions for Eileen. "Okay, first off, how do you know the Box Ghost?"

"I met him shortly after he died," she informs. "Kinda showed him the ropes of being a ghost."

"Gotcha. And second, his name is Lawrence?"

Eileen ignores that one and cracks her knuckles. "Let's just get down to business. First and foremost, how do you normally train?"

"Normally, I just fight my own copies head on."

"That's it?"

"Uh, yes?"

Eilee puts her hands on her hips. "Well, I'm already seeing the problem." She presses her hands together and points them at me. "Danny, your goal is to have your copies fight when you're not with them. Correct?"

Now, I get it. "Well, yeah, but how can I train them if I'm not, you know, there?"

"It's not your copies that need training, Danny. The thing about Duplication is that your copies have all of the knowledge you already possess. By training them physically, you're only training yourself."

I guess that makes sense. "So, how do I make them act on their own?"

"You have to train your mind," she says, pressing her index finger to her temple. She sits on the floor, her dress folded beneath her (does she have legs?), and pats the spot next to her. "You and I are going to meditate."

…Is she serious? When I don't move, she pats the spot again and smiles encouragingly and oh my god she's serious.

"If you break out incense and say, 'Namaste,'" I snark, "you understand if I have to punch you."

Eileen isn't dissuaded. "I know it seems stupid, but trust me. It's relaxing, and it helps strengthen your mind. Don't ask me how it works. I just know that it does."

Yep, she really does want me to meditate. I shrug and sit cross-legged beside her.

"Now," Eileen closes her eyes and rests her hands in her lap, "close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and don't think about anything else."

"We're ghosts," I say, placing my hands in my own lap. "We have to focus if we want to breathe."

"And, that's the only thing you should be focusing on."

She falls silent. I half-expect her to go, "Ooooohhhhmmm," and am oddly disappointed when she doesn't.

Alright. I am doing this.

I close my eyes and force air into my ghost-form. I breathe naturally as a human, so it's alway weird trying to make myself do it as a ghost. For the most part, I only do it when I'm gearing up for a Ghostly Wail-

Nope. Don't think. Stop thinking. Just breathe.

…

How long am I supposed to be doing this? How do you just not think?

This is ridiculous. My friends and sister are patrolling the town, and I'm sitting on my ass. What if they're in danger? What if Skulker upgraded his robotic suit again? What if Technus took control of their equipment? What if Vlad kidnapped them and is using them for leverage against me?

No. No. They promised to call if there was an emergency.

…

But, what if they don't?

Jazz, Sam, and Tucker are always looking out for me, always taking care of me. Even if they don't know what I'm really being tutored in, they know how important this is to me. They won't call. They won't want to interrupt me. They're so good to me. And, how do I repay them? By watching them follow me into battle and get hurt. By letting them sit in detention because they covered for a mess I made while ghost fighting. By sitting in the fucking Box Ghost's Haunt, breathing.

Is this supposed to be helping me? Why did my parents agree to what they think are normal tutoring sessions? Because they don't know what to do with me, of course. I'm the problem child. I skip school and keep secrets and am generally a mess. Oh, if they only knew. I wish I had the guts to tell them that I'm their favorite ghost to hunt down. But, I'll never tell them. Ghosts are vengeful creatures, they say. A person's humanity dies with them, they say. It doesn't matter to them who the ghost used to be; they'll destroy it without a second thought because they just assume it's dangerous.

"Um, Danny?"

Mom and Dad would hate me if they knew the truth.

"Danny."

But, what difference would it make? I'm already a disappointment-

"Danny."

Eileen's voice jolts me out of my thoughts. "Are-are we done?" I ask her.

She raises an eyebrow and looks kind of amused. "I don't think we started."

That's when I realize that my legs are stiff. I look down, and my stomach drops. Ghosts don't feel changes in temperature, so I didn't notice the ice that wasn't there before. Jagged icicles stick up out of the thick sheet that surrounds both of us. And, I'm at the center of it.

First the Duplication is a bust. Now I've lost control of my ice powers?

"Don't be discouraged. No one's good at meditating the first time around." Eileen gazes at the ice and chuckles. She's laughing at me. I don't blame her. "Or, maybe you're too good at this."

"I'm sorry." I stand up, that stupid ice cracking like my heart as I break through it. My voice is as heavy as the lump in my throat. "I'm sorry. I-I don't think this is gonna work. I'm sorry."

"Danny," Eileen calls after me as I make my escape. "Danny, wait!"

I don't wait. I phase through the wall and stand among the trees. I press the heels of my hands to my eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling. If I can't even breathe right, how am I supposed to master Duplication? Maybe I'm not even meant to master it. Maybe I'm just that pathetic.

I groan, change back into a human, and let myself fall down the wall of the warehouse. I don't want to be a ghost right now.

There's a shift in the atmosphere next to me. I chance a look and see Eileen hovering beside me, looking down at me with so much concern.

"Taking a ghost break?" she asks. "Maybe I will, too." She shifts into her Ms. Mae persona and sits next to me, hugging her knees to her chest. I turn my head away. "I shouldn't have laughed," she says.

"It's okay," I mutter even though it's not. Then, guilt creeps over me again. "I shouldn't have walked out on you."

"It's okay," she says, sounding like she means it. We sit in silence for a moment, then, "Danny, would you like to know how I died?"

And, that makes me look at her. A spirit's death is a very, very sensitive topic. In fact, if you ask someone how they died, you run the risk of getting mauled or worse. It's that upsetting for some of us.

"If you're willing to tell me," I reply.

Eileen holds out her hands as if framing something. "Picture it. Salem, Massachusetts. 1692. I was a teacher, and my husband was the local blacksmith. Real big guy but a real sweetheart. Nowadays, you'd call him a teddy bear. He was a wonderful husband, and I liked him a lot. But, I didn't love him, not the way a wife should love her husband."

"So, why did you marry him?" I ask.

Eileen shrugs. "We got along well enough that when he proposed, I thought that maybe I could love him that way. But, I never did. In fact, I'd never felt anything like that for any man. I'm a lesbian, Danny, though there wasn't a word for it back then. You were just…wrong." She spits out the word. "I thought that being married to a man would keep anyone from finding out. Was I using him? Kind of, but the alternative was much worse."

"So, you're a woman who likes other women. What's the big deal?"

She laughs humorlessly. "We needed more people like you back then. Pop quiz, kid. What historical event occurred in Salem between 1692 and 1693?"

"The Witch Trials," I breathe, the pieces falling into place.

"A-plus," Eileen says, making a checkmark in the air. "Everyone was walking on eggshells back then, especially the women. One wrong move, and they branded you as a witch and hung you in front of the whole town. I was extra careful to keep my feelings inside, until I met a woman who had the same kinds of feelings. She and I weren't in love - hell, I don't even remember her name - but we both had an itch to scratch, so to speak. We would meet up in secret and, uh…" Green creeps over her cheeks. I hope she doesn't blush too much among humans.

I smirk at her. "You had sex? I'm not a baby, Eileen. I know what sex is."

She drums her fingers and doesn't meet my gaze. "Well, it's weird talking about my…personal life with a student." I laugh, and she fights a smile. "Anyway, it was a huge risk every time, and we both knew it. But, we were having fun."

"Until you were caught," I say somberly.

Her smile drops. "Yeah. Her own husband came home early one day and found us - ahem - going at it in a pile of hay in his barn."

"You had sex in hay?"

Eileen throws her hands in the air. "I don't know. That's just how people had affairs back then. Where do you think the phrase 'rolling in the hay' comes from?" I try not to laugh at the mental image. Eileen sobers. "But, yeah. Her husband caught us and, naturally, he told my husband. Next thing you know, everyone thinks us girls are witches and…" She makes a choking sound and mimes hanging herself. "The only silver lining is that it happened before either of us could have kids."

My heart goes out to her. I know what it's like to have to hide who you are, to fear what people will do if they find out. "Oh, man. I mean, I know affairs are bad, but were people really that paranoid?"

Eileen shrugs helplessly. "It was a different time, Danny. Things are better now, but I'm still nervous about telling people I'm gay."

"So, why are you telling me?"

She rests a hand on my shoulder. "Because I know how it feels to have a million things on your mind. I know our problems are vastly different- Unless you're…?"

"Nope. Straight as a board."

"Then, yeah, pretty different. But, I feel like the fear is the same. Don't think I've forgotten about those missiles in your house. Be honest. Do you ever set off any sensors in there?"

I want to say no, but she's being so open and honest with me that I can't bring myself to lie. "Only when I'm in ghost-form. Sometimes they'll have some small, harmless thing that detects ghosts, but when it hones in on me, they just assume it's not working right."

"They're kind of clueless, aren't they?"

"Kind of, yeah." Then, because I've heard her story, because I'd spent the past month being so suspicious of this woman who has been nothing but kind to me, the words all fall out. "Picture it. Amity Park, Minnesota. 2004. My parents built a machine they called a Ghost Portal so that they could peek into the ghosts' world. But, it didn't work. Or, so they thought. One day, when they weren't home and my sister was out with her friends, my own friends and I were in the lab. Just goofing off, you know? Sam had gotten a new camera for her birthday, and we thought we could get some fun pictures. She suggested that I pose in the Portal. So, I put on a jumpsuit, went inside, and discovered that, for whatever reason, the 'on' button was inside the Portal. Do you see where this is going, or should I continue?"

"I get it," Eileen says, a serious, thoughtful expression on her face. "That's…highly irresponsible. Who puts an 'on' button inside a dangerous machine?"

I shrug. "Probably my dad. I love him, but he, uh, doesn't always think things through."

"Well, that's kind of ridiculous though, don't you think?" I shrug again. Eileen lets out a soft grunt. "So, why not tell them the truth? I know they're ghost hunters, but surely they wouldn't hurt their own kid."

I hug my knees to my aching chest and look away. That conversation in the kitchen plays in my head. My parents' voices, sympathetic but so damn certain, drill into my heart, into the core they want to literally drill into. "They…they hate ghosts. They think ghosts are evil, unstable." Tears pool in my eyes as emotion takes over. "It doesn't matter who the ghost is to them. They…they'll destroy it. They'll destroy me…" I've said it. I've never given voice to that fear, not even to the rest of the team, but now I've said it. I sniff and swipe at the tears that escaped. Green tears, I notice. My eyes must be glowing again. "Will you quit compelling me? I don't wanna talk about this."

Eileen scoots a little closer. "Danny, I'm not compelling you."

I whip my head toward her. For some reason, it hurts worse to see the sadness and pity on her face and know that she's telling the truth. "You-you have to be! Why else would I have told you that?"

She shrugs. "Maybe you just needed to."

Suddenly, everything becomes too much. I throw my hands over my face as sobs erupt from my throat. Eileen wraps her arm around me in a side-hug. I lean into the touch, crying harder at the kindness. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be blubbering all over this woman I barely know.

But…I do know her, don't I? Her name is Eileen Merryweather. Her Obsession is teaching. She meditates unironically. She is sweet but doesn't put up with jerks like Dash Baxter. She became friends with Box Ghost (I refuse to call him Lawrence) when he died and she showed him the ins and outs of being a ghost. She was married to a blacksmith. She died when her sexuality got her branded as a witch.

She's not a stranger. I think I know her pretty well.

When I finally calm down, I pull away and swipe at my eyes and nose - at some point, I'd reverted back to human tears - apologizing and muttering, "God, this is embarrassing."

"Not as much as you think," Eileen says.

Her gentle tone makes me want to cry again, but I reign it in. "Thanks for that. I guess I kind of needed it."

"It's what I'm here for." She gives me a moment to compose myself. "Do you wanna call it a day? We can try again tomorrow after you've had some rest."

I could say yes. I could say that I need a cooldown, and she would let me have it. But, I can see in her eyes - those fake brownish eyes that I wish were a vibrant red - that she wants to keep at it. But, I also know that she would understand if I wanted to hold off on this.

So, I stand up, go ghost, and say, "I want to try meditating again."

Eileen smiles warmly, rises, shifts back to her true, ghostly form, and says, "I was hoping you'd say that. Maybe it'll be easier now that you've gotten all that off your chest." Then, she purses her lips, rests her chin in her hand, and observes me. "Say, you wouldn't happen to own a pentagram, would you?"

…Wasn't the meditation cheesy enough? "Pentagram? I thought that was just some movie thing. Like ouija boards and salt circles."

"Nope. Pentagrams are the real deal. Although, movies definitely make them seem more interesting than they are. You see, and I'm speaking from experience here, when a ghost meditates with a pentagram, it both restores energy and helps you relax. Since you're new to meditation, it might help you until you get better at it."

Huh. The world of ghosts never ceases to amaze me. "I don't have a pentagram, but I might be able to borrow one."

When I told Sam I had a new idea for making my Duplication work, she was happy to lend me her necklace. Though, she and Tucker were as surprised as I was to hear that pentagrams had a purpose in real life.

"Ms. Mae" and I meet up behind the school after class lets out for the day. When she sees me approach, she shifts into her natural state. "Did Sam give you her necklace?" I pull the black pentagram out from under my shirt and let it fall over my chest. Eileen gives me a thumbs-up. "Awesome."

"And, you really think this thing will help me?" I confirm.

"Totally. Now, do your ghost-thing, and let's get a move on."

"I'm going ghost!" I announce, raising my arms to the sky for added flare. When the cold rings run over me and reveal my other form, Eileen rests her hand on her sunken cheek, and looks at me funny. "What?" I ask, lowering my arms.

Eileen takes her hand off her face and points to my chest. "I just wasn't expecting that. It doesn't look bad, it's just…unexpected. Shows what I know about halfas, I guess."

I look down and tug on the fabric of my jumpsuit. Normally, there is an insignia on my chest: a thick white D that isn't closed at the bottom, giving it the appearance of having a P inside of it. That symbol is still there, but it is now the same neon green as my ghost-form's eyes and sits over a white pentagram. Meanwhile, the necklace is nowhere to be found.

On one hand, the new design looks pretty cool, even from upside-down. On the other hand, Sam isn't going to be too happy with me.

"Remind me to buy Sam a new necklace," I say.

"Uh, yeah," Eileen says. "Well, on the plus side, you now have a pentagram of your own. Although, I've never tried this with the shape imprinted on something. Just with the pentagram itself. I assume it will still work."

I morph my legs into a tail and levitate, more determined than ever. "There's only one way to find out."