"HI, I'M DAISY!" cheered the flower princess bombastically. "Are you tired of your dull and boring life, going to work everyday and sitting at a computer for 8 hours? So lame, bro! Wanna have some REAL fun? Well, HAVE I GOT THE VACATION FOR YOU! Take a ride on the luxurious…"

DAISY CRUISER!

"We're gonna give you the best vacation you've ever had! No kidding! Grab a floatie and chillax in our community pool. Bask in the sun's rays while staring down at my face plastered at the bottom in all its glory."

A goomba does just that, kicking back on a red striped floatie while wearing sunglasses and sipping a glass of lemonade.

"Just be sure to watch out for oncoming racers."

"Huh?" uttered the goomba while lifting up his glasses. He saw a girl in a go-kart drive into the pool towards him. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

The kart hit him from below and he was sent flying into the air.

"WATER! HAHAHA!" yelled Aqua in delight.

Daisy then took the camera to a diner below deck.

"Below the deck, you can enjoy the most five super star eatery your taste buds will ever feel!"

Luigi sat at a table as he was served a large plate of spaghetti with parmesan cheese. "Oooooooooohhhhhh!" As he put on his apron, Daisy issued a warning.

"Try to hold onto your food though. This ship can rock quite a bit, and our tables aren't exactly rooted to the floor."

Luigi got his fork out, ready to dine in. But his food slid to the left, making him stab the table instead. "Wha?!" Without warning, the whole table began to slide to the left of the dining room. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Doesn't that sound wild?! Well, not as wild as our next attraction. Deep in our cargo floor, you'll find a cannon that will blast you straight back up to the deck! Elevators are so out of style. Get back up to deck in a cool way!"

Wario stared at the cannon entrance, then back at Waluigi. A devilish grin grew on his face.

"Bro, don't you da-! WAH!" Waluigi didn't have enough time to breathe as his brother hoisted him up.

"WALUIGI LAUNCHER!" Wario threw him in and the cannon launched the purple plumber up into the air, before splatting onto the deck.

"Waaaaaaah…"

For extra measure, Donkey Kong ran over him.

"It's fun for the WHOLE FAMILY!"

A servant of Daisy's entered the scene.

"Um, princess? Can I trouble you for a moment?"

"I'm in the middle of a commercial!"

"Yeah, but… We have a bit of an issue. There was a leak in the cargo room and lots of eels and clams broke in."

"WHAT?! YOU BETTER NOT LET MY SHIP SINK!"

"Don't worry your highness! We fixed the leak before it got out of hand. But the water and creatures are still there, and we don't have the budget to remove them."

"Oh… I see…" Daisy turned back to the camera and remembered she was still on. "Oh, uh… As our newest addition to the cruise, we've created our very own below deck aquarium! You can witness the Maw Rays and Clampies in their "natural" habitats. Just be warned, if you still wish to use the cannon, stay clear of them. We might leave the hatch open at times.

Mario, while racing, drifted too far to the edge and fell into the "aquarium". The Maw Rays grinned and began to maul Mario without mercy.

"Is this NOT the best vacation you've ever had?!"

"YES!" said a heavily casted Mario. Daisy politely responded with a tape to his mouth.

"Well, you better rethink your life choices, because you're WRONG! BOOK A VACATION ON DAISY CRUISER TODAY!"

For more info on how to book your dream vacation, call or text Muda Kingdom Cruising today!

929-55-DAISY

(929-55-32479)

Or reach us on the worldwide web at

mudakingdomcruising . com

Words began to scroll up from the bottom.

Disclaimer:

Daisy Cruiser is a fictional location. Do not call or text this number, or look up this website. Do not trust Princess Daisy with your life, as you have every right to sue if you or an associate gets injured or loses their game on the trip. In addition, Princess Daisy has a criminal record on Isle Delfino for promotional vandali-

"Hey! Hey! Hey! We don't need this legal crap!"

Daisy tries pushing the words back down, only for them to launch her back into the air.

"DAISY CRUISER RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULES!"