Chapter 3

The clank of metal on metal was jarring, but in a way the methodical rhythm of each lift, push, and release brought a feeling of relief. Han pushed the weight bar up again and again, reveling in the burning sensation in his arms muscles. At least this was a pain he could control. He could push until he could go no more, or he could move on to a different exercise, but at least in here, he was in charge. With a final thrust, Han pushed the bar a few inches higher and let it rest on its handles, waving a quiet 'thank-you' to the trainer that had been spotting him. Sighing and stretching, he checked the clock. 2:17 P.M. He had planned on going until three, but if he headed back now, he could shower and change before going to meet Changbin at the studio. Glimpsing the sweat stains on the edges of his tank-top, he resolved the latter would be the better option.

With his headphones pumping and water bottle in hand, Han started his way from the complex's gym room towards his dorm, but as he exited the elevator doors he ran into a familiar face.

Jeong In's wide smile greeted him in the hallway. It appeared he had just entered from the stairwell as Han came through the elevator. Jeong In mouthed something to Han, but it did not come through over Han's music. He pulled out one of his earbuds.

"What?"

"I said, what funny timing. We reached the hallway at the same time."

"Oh, yeah, I guess," Han said. He put his earbuds away in their holding case and took a swig of water.

Jeong In smiled. "Hey, could I ask a favor, Hyung?"

Han swallowed slowly. "What kind of favor?"

"I was about to do a VLive but seeing as you're here will you do it with me?" his maknae shuffled his feet, looking down. "I hate doing them by myself. They're so awkward."

Han rubbed his neck uncomfortably. "Gah, I was just about to go take a shower before I head to the studio." He nodded his head in the direction of Jeong In's dorm. "What about any of your roommates? Can any of them do it with you?"

Jeong In sighed. "I already texted them, and Felix said he and Seungmin are out to get lunch. Minho-hyung didn't answer, but he's almost never in the dorm. He's been working like crazy lately."

Han nodded, slowly absorbing this new information. So, Minho was also overworking himself. It used to be that they would both keep tabs on one another, help look out for each other's mental health when the pressure to create became too overwhelming… but now they didn't hardly speak any more. Another week had passed since Minho's dinner escape, and Han had taken to avoiding him completely if only to protect his own hurt feelings. It was easier than attempting to share space so uncomfortably, and they had been busy enough that it had so far been working. Dance rehearsals were now one of the only times they saw each other, but he knew it wouldn't last forever. Eventually with the release of their comeback they would begin doing more performances, interviews, game shows, and events where they would all eight have to be together… but for now, Han took respite from the pain however he could.

"Hyung?"

Han blinked, suddenly remembering Jeong In was even there. The young man gazed expectantly at his elder, and Han had a difficult time rejecting his sweet maknae. He, too, hated doing livestreams alone. His anxiety spiked whenever he had to interact with strangers, but it was his role as the elder to look out for Jeong In. With a resigned sigh, Han nodded. "Alright, I'll do it. But let's make it quick though. I really do need a shower."

"Ah! Thank you Hyung!" Jeong In gave a wide, dimpled smile and Han couldn't resist but to smile back. "I promise: ten minutes, tops!"

"Alright, alright. Stop being so adorable. Let's go."

Jeong In led the way towards his dorm, and though Han was apprehensive at first, he entered to find that Jeong In was right: the dorm was completely quiet. Both young men sat on the couch, and Jeong In flipped open a laptop that was already on the table. He quietly signed into his account, and with a glance at Han he said, "Ready?"

"Ready."

The VLive clicked on with a welcoming beep, and instantly little notifications started rolling in:

SKZ4EVA: Ah, there you are I.N!

IN*sGirl: I.N ❤ ️ ❤ ️ ❤ ️I missed u!

**LixMeFeLix**: ahhhhhh! Han is there to! :3

"Hello everyone! It's me, I.N from Stray Kids!" Jeong In waved to the camera.

Han smiled and waved as well. "And I'm Han from Stray Kids."

weknowleeknow: oh my god. U r so hot. I cant fr!

SKZ4EVA: I'm sorry. Han with no sleeves? im dead. 💀

Han tried hard not to cringe. This was always the hardest part of VLives. Sometimes the comments were genuinely nice, but other times they made him incredibly uncomfortable. Unfortunately, it was part of the expectations of Idols to communicate with their fans, so Han laughed to try and cover how awkward he felt. Luckily Jeong In stepped in.

"Haha, I know, I know. I wasn't expecting Han to be here either, but I found him by accident and so now he is here. Thank you Jisung-Hyung for being here."

Han wrapped his younger friend in goofy, half hug. "No problem, little Maknae."

This was the content STAY loved so much, seeing the men of Stray kids living and existing with one another in real time. The young men wrestled lightly as Jeong In squirmed to get out of Han's grasp. "Ahh, Hyung let me go! You're sweaty!"

I3SK: omggg you are too cute together!

iamSTAY: why is Han dressed like taht?

*^*Kpoplyfe*^*: oh god. A sweaty Han? I'm drooling. 👅👅👅

seoulsista: Oh, Han is here? Hi I.N! Hi Hannie!

STAYbymyside: that feeling when you tune in to see the Maknae but you get Han as well 👌🙌💕

Han chuckled awkwardly. "Yeah, I just came from the gym," he said, acknowledging his attire.

"I know!" Jeong In exclaimed, apparently responding to one of the commenters, "Look at those muscles! When did you become so handsome, Hyung?"

Han laughed and tried to wriggle away as Jeong In poked at his exposed bicep muscle. The comments went wild.

[K-Lolli-Pop]: Han has always been hot lmao

3STrAY3: omgggggg dont just tease us!

iamSTAY: I.N you r such a cutie! 😊

im*a*pop*stay: plz they know EXACTLY what they are doing to us now 💀💀

"Come on Hyung," Jeong In giggled. "Can you give just a little flex?"

"No this is your Vlive. You give a show instead of trying to pawn me off!" Han joked. Without thinking, he reached up to lace his fingers behind his head, only to see the comments begin rapidly pinging so fast he couldn't read them. Comments about his arms, how sexy he looked, and some very inappropriate ones that he simply glazed over. Jeong In was furiously trying to read a few notifications at a time, but they were suddenly both distracted by the sound of a click.

Han looked up and felt like his stomach fell straight through the floor. Minho was standing at the entrance to the hallway, looking shocked, disheveled, and—Han felt his jaw go slack—

Shirtless.

Jeong In exclaimed in surprise. "Oh! Lino-Hyung! I didn't know you were here!"

Minho stared at them with an expression that looked just as stunned as Han felt. He must have been sleeping, Han thought, considering his state. Han felt frozen, unable to move his gaze away. Minho had always been such a beautiful man, but seeing his bare chest was even more of a shock. He almost never went around shirtless, even among the team members, due to his insecurity about a small, childhood scar on his ribcage. Han could see it now, gleaming pink against his pale, porcelain skin, but it wasn't hideous or anything. He barely even noticed it against Minho's rippling torso. His bare chest stretched down into a perfect display of abdomen muscles, landing at the flawless 'V' of his hips. Minho's eyes similarly did not dislodge from Han's direction until the latter self-consciously lowered his arms, crossing them over his chest and trying to regain his focus. They were live in this very moment. He had to keep his wits about him.

"Hey everyone, its Lee Know!" Jeong In announced. The comments took off again.

im*a*pop*stay: Han AND Lee Know on I.N's live? my day is made!

skZZZZZ: Don't be shy Lee Know! Come say hi!

But then Han's eyes caught something else:

**LixMeFeLix**: Uhhh did anyone else see Han's FACE when lee know walked in?! I'm SCREAMING!

weknowleeknow: Find you someone who will look at you the way Han Jisung looks at Lee Know. 😭❤️

SKZ4EVA: ikr. Minsung is so cute!

Fuck, thought Han. He needed to keep himself in goddamn check. Suddenly, Jeong In picked up the laptop as though to turn the screen around. "Hyung, say hello to STAY—!"

Han reached up instinctually to pull Jeong In back down at the same time Minho tried to duck behind the edge of the wall.

"No, you idiot!" Minho said, "I'm not wearing a shirt!"

Jeong In, to his credit, looked innocently apologetic. "Oh, sorry…" turning back to face the camera he said, "Sorry everyone – Lee Know can't join the live right now."

Again, the comments were popping in rapidly.

ChanniesWife: a shirtless Lee Know? Whaaaaaaaat?

staybaby : bias wrecker, fr

BangBangChan: don't yell at your maknae! Poor sweet bb I.N

3STrAY3: Lee Know without a shirt? No wonder Han was staring. 😜😏😜😏

BinnieBinnieBaby: Um… I'd be staring too, no lie 👀👀👀

143SKZ: idc what anyone says, minsung is alive and well!

Minsung. Fucking Minsung. If it wasn't for that stupid ship nonsense, Han and Minho wouldn't even be in this damn situation. The words of the producers echoed in his head. They wanted proof that Minsung was not real, that Han and Minho were nothing more than friends, but even after weeks of avoiding each other the fandom was still pushing strong. Han couldn't take it anymore. He finally lost his temper.

He made a show of trying to cover Jeong In's eyes, saying, "Don't look I.N, you'll be scarred for life!" and then, without pausing, he called out, "Lee Know-ah," addressing Minho directly for the first time in almost a month. Minho's irritated expression softened slightly has his eyes swept from Jeong In now to Han. Han narrowed his eyes and said, "Why are you walking around shirtless in the first place, you pervert?"

Jeong In gasped immediately and began laughing and hitting Han with a pillow, disbelieving Han had talked to their Hyung in such a way. The young men shoved and wrestled with each other, laughing wildly, but Han was only acting. He caught hurried glimpses as Minho disappeared out of sight and returned only a moment later, fully clothed and with a laptop bag swung over one shoulder.

"Oh!" Jeong In gasped, "Minho-Hyung put on a shirt. Want to come say hi now?"

Minho did not look at them as he stepped by. "I'm going down to the dance studio." he said curtly. He was gone in only seconds, the door slamming behind him. Han could barely process what had happened.

"Ah, sorry, I tried," Jeong In shrugged to the camera. "Lee Know has been working very hard on writing choreography for our new songs," with his signature smile, he faced Han, "I'd say these new dances are really good so far, right Hyung?"

Han blinked at him, still dazed. "Um. Yeah. Lee Know is an amazing dancer," he agreed. Glancing down he briefly caught sight of his own face in the laptop screen and he had to force himself to smile, even though the comments he now saw made his chest ache.

ChanniesWife: Uhm, what was that?

skZZZZZ: Hannie! Why did you have to be so mean?

im*a*pop*stay: excuse you, sir. Lee Know can go around being shirtless whenever he wants, thank you. 😤😤😤

SKZ4EVA: guys calm down. They joke with each other like that all the time.

seoulsista: ya maybe but it still wasnt very nice. 😓

No. It wasn't nice. And what's worse is Han had said it on purpose. He was purposely being mean to the man he called his best friend. Gah! This is all so fucked up! Rubbing his jaw to mask his expression, Han gave a quick wave to the camera. "Well, everyone, I need to head off now. Thank you I.N for letting me crash your VLive. Love you STAY!"

Han didn't wait around for Jeong In to respond, worried he might call him back to try and keep him on the livestream. Instead, he darted out the room and made a sharp turn into the hallway, desperately trying to see if Minho was still close—but he was already gone. Anxious, Han tore down the stairwell, rushing as fast as he could to towards the dance studio. He dodged unsuspecting passerbys and trainee groups in his rush. Finally, gasping and nearly winded, he reached the SKZ assigned dance studio.

But it was empty.

Worried he may have somehow beat Minho there, Han paced around for several minutes. He even hid out of sight of the doorway, in case Minho saw him in there and turned around. But after five—ten—twenty long minutes dragged by, Han finally slid to a seat against the wall, feeling defeated. He hugged his knees close to him and buried his face. He wanted to talk to Minho, to apologize to him, to hug him and tell him how much he missed him.

But Minho wasn't there. And Han did not know when he may ever get the chance again.