Eggman stood outside of the courtroom of Station Square Courthouse, nervously fidgeting with his hands, knowing that what was about to happen would affect the rest of his life.
"I always knew it would come to this." Eggman muttered to himself "Well sort off... Not really actually." the doctor rethought as he recalled why he was here today "Just the defending myself alone part actually."
"Don't worry boss, I've got your back!" Cubot proudly stated a red clip-on tie attached to his body as he dragged a large brown briefcase behind him.
"Cubot why are you dressed like that and where's my lawyer?" Eggman questioned before his mental gears turned and his eyes widened in realization "No. No! NO! NO! YOU ARE NOT MY LAWYER!"
"Well if you say so, but that'll mean you'll have to defend yourself." the dimwitted robot said with a shrug.
"Cubot this isn't the time for jokes!" Eggman bellowed out at Cubot, making sure to get nice and close to the robot's face as he did, "How did you even end up as my lawyer in the first place?"
"Well you weren't able to hire a real lawyer because evil dictator and you scare small children." Cubot explained, gesturing at his creator to emphasize his point, "And you said that court appointed lawyers are so overworked that you might as well hire me to defend you."
"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard of" Eggman scoffed crossing his arms in disappointment "I can't believe I would even think of that."
"Yeah you thought that too so you erased your memory of it." Cubot explained "And then you came of with the same idea again and erased your memory of it, and then you came of with the same idea again and erased your memory of it, and then you came of with the same idea again!" the cube-shaped robot elaborated, Eggman's anger shifting more and more to shame as it went on, "And it kinda repeated like that for a while."
"Oh." Eggman muttered out awkwardly rubbing the back of his head "Well that explains those gaps in my memory... and why I have a stronger migraine than usual." At that moment the courtroom doors opened, "Well, let's get this over with." the doctor said, resigned to his fate, as he started his walk to the defense table.
Naturally, the courtroom was filled with all manner of folks eager to see the doctor's downfall; Omega, Snively, Conquering Storm, Breezie & those three robots she always dragged everywhere, Fiona Fox, Abraham Tower & literally every member of G.U.N., King Acorn, Walter Naugus, The Thorndykes, Lien-Da, Gemerl...
"And of course that annoying blue rat and his friends are here too." Eggman's growled out as Sonic mockingly waved at the doctor as he passed by.
Though Sonic and co clearly admired the sight of Eggman in a courtroom, they had another reason to be here and she currently sat at the claimant's table.
Belle the Tinkerer, the robotic daughter of his former amnesiac identity Mr. Tinker and at that moment, his doom.
However, Eggman was more focused on the other robot sitting at the table.
"Orbot!? What are you doing!?" Eggman sputtered out at the circular robot, who wore a yellow tie and had a briefcase like Cubot's.
"I told you boss, I'm Belle's court appointed lawyer." Orbot simply explained, with a slightly worried expression on his mechanical face.
"Ya gotta forgive him bud." Cubot cut in "He was messing around with the memory eraser again."
"Ah, that makes sense" Orbot noted with a nod and Eggman made a mental note to double-check the usage log on the memory eraser if he got out of this.
The doctor was brought out of his self-concerned thoughts as he heard the judge bang his gavel and call out "The trial of the People Vs Dr. Eggman will began."
"Good morning, my name is SA-55 Mark 3 Orbot, and I am the prosecutor in this case." Orbot began as he hovered about in front of the claimant's table and explained to the court "The defendant in this case, Dr. Ivo 'Eggman' Robotnik, owes my client, Belle the Tinkerer Robotnik, alongside many other abandoned robots of his unpaid child support totaling in 517 billion dollars."
"I see..." the judge noted before he looked towards Cubot "And what does the defense have to say?"
Cubot sat silently for several moments until Eggman smacked him on the head "That's you scrap brain!"
"Oh right!" Cubot opened his briefcase and pulled out its contents, a single index card, "My client, Dr. Ivo 'Eggman' Robotnik, is ino- ine- inoh-"
"Innocent." Eggman just barely managed to not yell out.
"What he said." Cubot finished, with the entire courtroom in silence as Eggman buried his face in his hands.
Orbot coughed (well played an audio file of someone coughing while he mimed the action) to break the silence "Now if it's okay with you your honor, I'd like to call some witnesses to the stand."
"So Mr. Omega, how has the defendant wronged you?" Orbot asked the two-ton murder bot that had somehow gotten into the witness stand.
"HE LEFT ME IN A BASEMENT AND FORGOT ABOUT ME." Omega stated as he glared down at Eggman.
"I didn't forget about you!" the doctor claimed with an offended scoff.
Omega stared further at Eggman, long enough for the doctor to worry that he may have installed laser eyes into his creation and forgot, before the murder bot asked "WHAT IS MY E-SERIES NUMBER?"
"Uhhh..." Eggman scratched his head as he tried to recall what he never realized would be vital information "five, seven, ooone...?"
Without another word, Omega left the stand.
"Yes I can assure you this man is a monster!" Breezie dramatically cried out, the businesswoman patted her eyes with a handkerchief for nonexistent tears, "Why if it was for my generosity these poor robots would be on the streets!" she gestured to where Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts sat in the gallery.
"Wait... You're my creations?" Eggman questioned.
The trio stared in shock before their faces twisted in anger as they bellowed out the answer "YEEEES!"
Eggman raised an eyebrow as he searched his memory for the trio "Were you guys like janitors or something?"
"We were the Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad!" Scratch angrily explained, seething further as he saw no signs of recognition on the doctor's face, "Your elite Sonic killing team!"
"Man I must have had an off day or something..." Eggman muttered out, having given up trying to remember the bots.
"We worked for you for THREE MONTHS!" Coconuts shrieked out as Grounder silently glared daggers at his creator.
"I don't know anything about how he takes care of his robot's, but his clothes are a crime against humanity," Honey the Cat declared, earning a low growl from Eggman, "that and putting anyone into that outfit qualifies as abuse in my book." she finished pointing to Belle.
Belle rapidly blinked in confusion as she took a quick glance at her outfit "W- what's wrong with my clothes?" the puppety robot asked.
Honey covered her mouth as tears formed in her eyes "Oh you poor thing." she muttered out, sounding as if she just heard that a child's pet had died in front of them.
"HE SET UP SATELLITES TO STEAL PEOPLE'S BRAIN WAVES!" Sticks the Badger, who wore a very fashionable tin foil hat, loudly declared.
"I'm going to be honest, that's the one thing I haven't done." Eggman admitted before he quickly muttered under his breath "But people like you do make it seem like I have."
"Also it has nothing to do with what's being argued here." Orbot noted, "Do you have an example of the defendant abandoning his robots?"
"Oh he kicked out my dear Buster." Sticks said as she held up a poorly hand-drawn picture of her and a dog-shaped robot. "But that's not important! WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIS SATELLITES!" the crazed badger cried out as she leapt from the witness stand to try and tackle Eggman only to be caught mid-jump by the security officer.
As Sticks was removed from the courtroom, the badger ranting and raving the whole time while the judge loudly called for order, Eggman glanced over to Belle; where she sat motionless presumably having gone into the AI equivalent of shock at the sudden event.
"Or she's gone into standby mode." Eggman hypothesized as it seemed to him like Belle was struggling to keep her head up. The doctor noted that his instance on wearing his signature pince-nez sunglasses 24/7 did make it hard to tell; it certainly didn't help that his prescription was at least four years old of date, evidently being a worldwide dictator and terrorist gets you automatically banned from all eye doctors, who knew?
The routine continued on for several more hours, with each witness brought to the stand the chances of Eggman winning grew lower and lower.
Eggman growled as the final witness left the stand "You did a great job defending me you pile of scrap!" he scoffed out, glaring down at his so-called lawyer.
Cubot, having been distracted adjusting his tie for the entire proceeding, blinked in shock "Wait... I was supposed to be defending you?" he questioned, scratching the top of his head.
Eggman blankly stared at his creation for several minutes before letting out a long sigh "Honestly I'm more disappointed in myself for expecting any less."
"Well I'm glad I met you're expectations!" Cubot wholeheartedly stated.
"I think I've heard enough." The judge's declaration grabbed the two's attention "I find the defendant Doctor Eggman guilty of all charges against him." he declared as he slammed his gavel for punctuation "Doctor Eggman will be made to pay all of his overdue child support payments along with a ten thousand dollar fine."
"Hey that isn't that bad!" Eggman noted as a sliver of hope grew in his tone, "It doesn't even equal one percent of the legal fees I have to pay anyway!" the doctor leaped up from his chair as he cried out in joy.
"You didn't let me finish." The judge growled out, sending Eggman sinking back into his seat, "He will also have to preform an hour of community service." he finished, the mad doctor's pupils shrank into pinpricks at the bang of the gavel.
"I'm finished! Cubot was defeated, and now my free time is ruined!" Eggman cried out before he pulled a remote out of his jacket "No matter! I will destroy Station Square anyway!" the overweight overlord declared as he flicked a switch on the device.
Outside the courthouse window, a conveniently placed nuclear missile rose out of the ground, the owner of it made clear by its side baring the Eggman Empire logo (in case the reader couldn't figure that part out on their own), armed and ready to fire.
"If that missile is launched..." Tails fearfully noted as no one in the court, including the literal FASTEST THING ALIVE, attempted to seize the detonator for Eggman.
"Ready? Fire!" the crazed scientist screamed as he slammed his finger into the fire button (which was labeled 'In Case Sonic Wins') and broke into madness-filled laughter as the court members began to panic, the mad doctor seemingly not caring or not realizing that he was still in the blast range, with his cackling grown to a fever pitch until-
Eggman woke up to a coughing fit as he rubbed his head, which was now suffering from a massive migraine. "Ooooh, where am I?" he questioned looking around to see the courtroom was replaced by a more familiar industrial interior. "I'm in my Egg Base? It- It was just a nightmare." the crazed scientist realized before looking down at the cause of the bizarre dream, a half-eaten bucket of fried chicken of leftover that Eggman now noted looked a lot less appetizing than it had been before his nap.
"Someone disintegrate this." The rotund dictator commanded as he mindlessly tossed the bucket over his shoulder, hearing it crash it what he hoped was Cubot, before he walked off to shower and get some proper rest "No more post-battle binge eating."