Four Arwings soared through the air of Cornaria towards a cluster of fighters from Andross' fleet.

"All right guys," Fox McCloud said to his wingmates over the radio, "let's show them what we're made of."

"Always happy to give Andross' goons some hell." Falco Lombardi replied.

"Yeehaw!" Cried Slippy Toad.

"Make sure to do a barrel roll to deflect enemy fire." Said Peppy Hare.

"Got it." Replied Fox.

"And if you've got an enemy on your tail," the old man continued, "use the break or do a summersault."

"I know, Peppy." Fox rolled his eyes.

"Use the boost for a burst of speed." Peppy added.

"I know what I'm doing."

"Just making sure you didn't forget."

"How could I forget? I've been a pilot for thirty years."

"Don't talk back to your elders, young man."

The four of them entered battle, heroically shooting down baddies and avoiding enemy fire. "Scratch one tin can!" Slippy cried victoriously as one of Andross' fighters plummeted into the water below.

"There's another one down." Said Falco as he avoided the debris of the ship he just blew up.

"Good job guys." Fox replied as he took down his tenth bad guy since they entered battle, thirty seconds ago.

"Darn it!" Said Slippy as he narrowly avoided an enemy laser, "I've got a bogey on my tail!"

Fox rolled his eyes and flew his ship over where the frog was and took out the baddie behind him.

"You've got to learn to take care of yourself, Slippy." Peppy said sternly. He then saw a laser blast fly past his ship, missing only by a few inches. "Get the guy behind me Fox!" He said.

"You've been a pilot a lot longer than I have, Peppy." Fox replied sincerely, "You've got this."

"Don't get smart with me, mister." Peppy growled, "Take care of this bogey!"

"Can't you do a summersault?"

"Don't talk back to your elders!"

"I got you, old man." Falco said.

"No!" Peppy protested, "It has to be Fox, he's the team leader."

Fox sighed and rolled his eyes as he flew his ship towards Peppy.

"What's taking you so long?" The rabbit asked.

"I have to get there first."

Before too long, Fox made his way over to Peppy and took down the bogeys on his tail.

"Your father helped me like that too, Fox."

"So," said Falco, "you've always been this helpless-shoot!" Falco felt his ship shake from getting hit by an enemy laser blast.

"I can't shake this guy!" He said.

"Have you even tried to yet?" Asked Slippy.

"Shut up!" The bird shouted.

Without saying anything, Fox shook his head and made his way over to Falco.

"Great." Falco said emotionlessly when Fox shot down the bad guy behind him.

"You're welcome." Fox replied.

"Whatever." Falco said with attitude.

"Do you think maybe you could pull the stick out of your ass?" Fox asked sarcastically as he pulled up beside the bird.

"No, I have better grip on it this way."

Fox looked over at him and cried, "What the?!"

Keeping his hands on the side of the cockpit to keep himself steady, the bird had his pants down and was sitting on the ship's control stick,

"You actually have that thing up your butt?!" Asked Fox.

"Ew!" said Slippy, "No wonder your cockpit always smells like shit."

"Well I can't use my hands on it now," explained Falco, "it's covered with lube."

"I've got some napkins you could wipe it off with." Said Slippy.

"Have you been going through the drive-thru in your Arwing?" Asked Peppy, "I told you not to do that!"

Fox facepalmed with both hands, why

couldn't his wingmates be as competent as him?