"Erza", he softly breathed before slamming himself onto her. He grabbed the back of her head and forced her face into the crook of his neck.
The Requip mage could not move a muscle. Part of her was relieved, part of her was overjoyed on seeing him safe and another part of her was seething in anger. As all three parts of her fought one another to give out one emotion, none of them won, leaving her at a standstill.
"You're safe...you're safe...you're safe", he repeated as his right arm encircled her waist, holding her protectively in his strong embrace.
He kissed the top of her head and cupped her cheeks, forcing her to face him. Gathering her bearings, Erza grabbed onto his wrists with a worried look on her face as she saw a single emotion in his eyes - fear.
Anyone who would dare to go against her boyfriend was either foolish or had a death wish. Even fighting against exceptionally powerful adversaries, he never wore that expression on his face. Anger, perhaps disappointment or confusion would be the only expressions he'd wear, but it was the first time she truly saw fear in his eyes.
She softly whispered his name and closed the gap between their lips. On a normal day, he would respond with the same vigour as her, but at the moment, his lips softly quivered.
Erza pulled back to look at his face, and his eyes were shut. He was breathing heavily, and moment by moment, her joy at seeing him started to wane.
"Talk to me, Jellal", she whispered as she let go of his wrists and wrapped her arms around his neck, but she could feel him shake his neck.
"I...I can't. I cannot bring you into this", he replied as he instantly let go of her, staring at her in fear.
"I cannot do that to you", he whispered as he stared at his shivering hands.
Erza called out to him softly, fighting through her pain before lunging into his embrace again.
Whatever he was going through, whoever that white-haired man was, the issue was not something Jellal could handle alone. She could see it.
"Depend on me, Jellal. Let me help you. There are some fights you can fight alone, and there are some you cannot. Some fights are important for your ego, but this is not one of those. Not when you are so scared for me", she consoled, but it did not seem to do the trick.
"I know what I'm doing to you is wrong. Trust me, I know. But if you were there with me...I know for sure that I cannot win. I am not calling you weak. But this fight...if someone I care for is there with me...I cannot fight without care. I will be too careful and I will let him get away. Listen to me when I say this...no matter how long it takes, I CANNOT let him get away. If you were there with me..."
"I would just get in your way", she interrupted him. The Meteor mage winced in response.
"I don't mean it like -"
"I know you don't mean it like that. But put yourself in my shoes. That's how it comes across as, Jellal", she stressed. Erza was not wrong, and even Jellal knew it.
"Three months...just three more months and I can finish them off...ALL OF THEM! For the two of us", he replied with a disappointed face. Erza could feel him force the words out of his mouth. He knew that she was right, but he was in no state to admit it and ask for her help. That was hurtful.
It hurt her pride, and it hurt her trust. It had been three months of pain, fear, and anxiety, and she had finally got the chance to meet him, only to hear this from the man she loved.
"In EXACTLY three months, I'll meet you, Erza. I cannot tell you where I want us to meet, but you'll know it. It is our...special place. When I come back, you can yell at me, you can scream, you can throw whatever you want at me, I will bear it because I know I deserve it for hurting you right now. I will come back to you, Erza, and I promise to grow as a person who deserves you and deserves to stand by you", he promised and kissed her passionately.
How could she say anything else beyond that? He recognised his mistake, and promised to make amends for the way he treated her, but did not take her with him. Erza was in a dilemma at that point.
"I am not strong enough", she whispered to herself as she darted towards the closest monster tamer and stabbed her right in her heart without a second thought.
Promising herself to become even stronger so that her better half may depend on her, Erza vowed to stand by his side. They may have been going through a rough patch at the moment which would only worsen in the plateau of two more contactless months, Erza decided to trust herself and Jellal, knowing that together, they would pull through it, and thus began her painful wait.
End of Flashback
A normal person would be on pins and needles, waiting for their beloved after a long time. Erza was no different.
She missed his smile, that soft blush on his cheeks each time he would hold her hand or initiate any type of physical contact, his warmth, the way he smelled of blueberries and the forest, his emerald eyes, his soft touch and SO much more. But a part of her was shaking in fear.
What if he was hurt? What if he had beaten his opponents, but was too weak to come back to her, what if someone had betrayed him, what if...
Erza slapped her cheeks instantly and buried her face into her hands, silently asking her mind to avoid negative thoughts. But that never worked, did it? The moment she tried to take her mind off the thought, fictional images of Jellal coated in blood started to flood her mind and the tears started to drop.
For all those years, she was fine by herself. She loved Fairy Tail as her family, but with no one as a proper romantic partner, she was still strong. The moment the azure-haired mage stepped into her life, and turned her whole world upside down, she knew she was in for a ride. She loved AND hated how dependent she had gotten on him.
Another strong gust of wind tore through the room and Erza grasped onto her biceps, curling herself mildly. The window hurled itself against the wall, holding on to the hinge for dear life, and vibrated like a strong metal due to the force of the gust and Erza opened her eyes, tucking some strands of her hair behind her ear.
There he was, in all glory. Tattered clothes, a bleeding eyebrow, several fresh wounds on his chest and abs, and his shoulder-blade-length hair tied up in a textured half ponytail.
"Hey", he whispered and with newfound vigour, Erza shot out of bed to slam her fist into his stomach.
Jellal winced in pain as he felt the sheer force of her fist. He wanted to double over as he felt the bile rush to his throat.
"Six months...I couldn't sleep in peace, I couldn't eat in peace, and I had my heart in my mouth each time I read the word 'murder' in the newspaper. LOOK AT YOU! YOU'RE BLEEDING, YOU MEET ME AFTER KILLING SOME GODFORSAKEN VILLAIN AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS HEY?", she snapped and gasped when one of the wounds on his stomach started to splutter blood.
"Oh, God! You're wounded", she gasped in realisation before she grabbed him and forced him to sit on the bed.
Erza made him lean against the headboard before tending to his wounds. Her boyfriend had been on a warpath for the last six months. She could see aged wounds, some fresh cuts, various wounds of different depths, and a few bruises.
"I'm sorry", he whispered as he stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. The Requip mage pursed her lips and fought her tears again as she vainly tried to ignore him.
"I'm scared for us, Jellal. I'm afraid you will never learn to trust me. If the same thing happens a few years down the line when we are married and have children...I...I don't think I would be strong enough to handle it", she put forth.
"I understand", he sighed and dug into his right pocket. He pulled out a silver necklace with a dark, obsidian jewel clasped into it, and the silver chain was aligned with a variety of other stones.
"Don't touch this...as MUCH as you can, try not to touch it", he pleaded with her and Erza frowned.
"It won't harm you...or me, but...it is hard to explain"
Jellal stared at her as he fastened the hook of the necklace and placed his forehead against hers.
"With this...I might be able to be the special person you truly deserve, Erza. I promise...I promise to do my best to stand by you", he vowed. It had not been more than a whole minute, but Erza touched it disregarding his advice.
It had not been more than a millisecond since the tip of her index finger touched the obsidian jewel, a wave of emotions hit her like a truck.
Her heart felt heavier than an anvil of iron, and happiness seemed like a far cry. Erza could feel unbridled guilt and she wanted to scream her heart out. Darkness surrounded her, and Erza could feel thousands of eyes looking down at her in either disgust or pity. Various hands grabbed onto her body and when she looked down at the hands, she saw faceless corpses covered in blue-coloured blood and she looked at her hands that were coated in the same shade of blue. She tried to wipe the blood against her clothes, but the stains would not leave her hands. The eyes grew even more tawny and they started to become parts of faces, that soon became humanoid and their hands started to move towards Erza, waiting to grab her. These feelings were completely alien to her, and even though they were heavily layered, Erza could only come to one conclusion - fear of loneliness.
All of this happened at the moment the tip of her finger brushed against the jewel, and Jellal grabbed her hand.
"I JUST -"
Jellal was ready to throw a rant but was instantly cut off by a powerful hug from Erza. Her arms were wound tightly against him as she whimpered softly.
"I didn't know...", she purred gently as she stroked his hair.
"I didn't know it was so hard...so painful. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry for assuming your pain to be trivial compared to what it truly is. I'm sorry I was not there fo-"
This time it was Jellal who interrupted her as he placed his finger on her lips and looked at her with a weak smile.
"You were there for me. Perhaps, you trying to help me and being there for me were the only things keeping me sane", he murmured and looked down for a moment before meeting her eyes again. Erza flinched as she saw fear in his eyes...the same eyes she saw three months back.
"I am not as strong as you think I am, Erza. Yes, physically and by magic, I am exceptionally strong...I am aware of that. But I am afraid...I am afraid of myself. I am afraid if I lose to someone, they may control me again. I cannot become like that again, Erza. I cannot!", he seethed and bit his lip tightly.
"Each time I defeat or kill someone, I become more scared. What if someone saw me from outside, taking notes of my strengths and weaknesses, and find some dark magic to control my mind? What if I have to go against Crime Sorciere? What if I raise my hand against you? All of these thoughts...they combine into fear, Erza! I know I have a responsibility...to care for you, to be there for you, to protect you and love you, and I can only do that if I am able to control my fear. It is completely unfair of me to ask you to bear my burden, Erza. I know it. But I don't have a choice", he explained, whispering the last part hoping Erza would not catch it.
"Then depend on me. It is not wrong to be scared, Jellal", Erza replied in a calming tone and took his hands into hers.
"You are stronger than me, Jellal. I know that. But I dare you...to find anyone who could dare lay a hand on you when I am around you. If you find them, bring them to me and I will prove you wrong. That I can promise. The fear you have for the both of us? Use the fear you have for me to protect me. Forget about the fear you have of yourself. I will protect you. I promise. Nobody will touch a strand of your hair without my permission", she vowed and clasped onto her necklace.
"You always had one choice, Jellal, and that choice is sitting right in front of you", she replied and kissed his forehead. Jellal could feel the sweat drip down her body. His hand clasped onto hers, desperately trying to remove her hand from the jewel, cursing his decision.
"I can handle it. I will grow used to this. If I want the best man in the world, I am bound to accept his weaknesses as well. Leave yourself in my care", she whispered with another kiss to his forehead and saw blood dripping from his eyebrow.
"This is going to leave a scar", she whispered as she cleaned the wound on his left eyebrow. The wound extended down to the centre of his right cheek and Jellal could see the pain in her eyes.
"Well, I guess it would match the tattoo around my right eye, wouldn't it?", he joked. Erza pursed her lips and gently leaned into him.
The tips of her fingers started to trace his taut jawline. Erza gasped when she felt his hand grab onto her thigh and drag her onto his lap.
She straddled him and rubbed her nose against his. His warm breath hit her face, causing shivers to run down her spine and her hands instantly snaked around his neck.
Erza started to toy with his hair and Jellal buried his face in her neck, running his lips softly over her sensitive skin.
Erza tried hard to stifle her moans, but it was in vain as she gasped out in pleasure when he viciously kissed her neck with force.
Erza grabbed onto his hair for dear life when he did that, and Jellal leaned back to look at her face.
"So..."
"They have added a hot tub...and I was thinking of taking a bath. Care to join me?", she hotly asked against his lips.
"Do you expect me to say no after that, you seductress?"