Alexander opened the door to Cordelia's room and stepped inside. He hadn't been in here since the break - up, but it looked like not much had changed. As he looked around though, he noticed something that made him sad. The picture of them that Cordy had had by the bed was gone. Was that a sign? 'Oh please don't let it be,' he thought, trying to be hopeful. He really wanted this work, and maybe they wouldn't get back together right away, but they could at least make a start in that direction, right? 'Please let this go well,' he thought again as went to sit on a small two person couch she had on the other side of her bed.

Cordelia came out of her closet, dressed in her at home clothes, a nice blouse and pants and flats, and walked over to sit beside him. They sat there for a few moments, not speaking and then Alexander blurted out. "Ok, one of us needs to start so I'm going to just jump into the fire. I promised myself on the way over here, complete honesty, no holding anything back, so there's something I need to tell you before we talk about anything else and your probably going to be mad, but bear in mind, we weren't together at the time."

He took a deep and then said, "I had sex with Faith last week, please don't kill me."

Cordelia stared at him and said, "Sex with Faith? When, how - "

"Let me explain before you kill me, ok? You remember last week when I driving around in Uncle Rory's car, the convertible, and I gave a ride to Lynnette Torchio?"

"Yes, so wait you started with one girl and ended up with another? What happened?"

"Well it's a long story, so bear with me. After I dropped her off at her place, I ran into Jack O'Toole, anyway he kinda hijacked me and my car. See, it turns out Jack was dead. His gramps is a necromancer and he voodooed him back from the dead. And Jacks' whole gang as dead and Jack wanted to voodoo them back as well. So he made me drive him around to the cemeteries where they were buried while he voodooed them back. Then they start talking about what kind of fun they wanted to have and decided they wanted to bake a cake, which doesn't mean a real cake, by the way. So while they broke into a store and stole some stuff I took off because I really didn't want to hang out with them.

"I saw Faith a couple of blocks away and she was fighting this big blue scaly demon and losing. Her arm was messed up and she was trying to fight one handed. I looked for an opportunity, you know like I do when helping Buffy, and then hit it with the car. It didn't kill it though, it just got knocked down and Faith jumped into the car and I drove off, away from that thing. That's when I found out where she's been living, I took her there. I helped her set her shoulder and then she started talking about being worked up from fighting and not getting a release and I guess she thought I could help with that. She, um, she, uh pushed me down on the bed and jumped on top of me and took off her shirt and said 'I'll steer you 'round the curves,' and then we had sex. It's kind of a blur really, it happened kind of fast and then she, um, pushed me out the door, said that was great, see you later and that was it."

Cordelia just looked at him for a moment and then instead of killing him, like he feared, said softly, "Sounds as bad as my first time. You remember what I told you about deciding I needed to get rid of my virginity after those frat boys tried to make me a virgin sacrifice? How I was scared it would happen again so I picked up a guy while I was on vacation with my parents and just did it. No emotional connection at all. After he left I cried, it was just so wrong and not how I thought my first time would be at all."

"Neither was mine. I mean I'm not blaming Faith, they were dealing with an apocalyse and she didn't have time, or maybe I just sucked at it. Like anything else, it is something you need to practice to get right, you know. It's just since we started going out and once I realized I loved you, I thought, it would be you I practiced with and got good with, maybe even for life, you know. I was even starting to plan how I would tell you how I feel about you, when the whole Willow thing started."

"How were you going to tell me?"

"Um, I was thinking maybe one night while we were watching TV here. You know how we cuddle on the couch, with my arm around your shoulders and your head leaning against me and sometimes I would rub your arm and you would make that noise. That one that sounds like a sorted contented mewling sound. I like that sound. I've only heard you make it for me and just when I stroke your arm like that. Anyway, I thought that would be a great time to say it, when it's just us and we're all cozy and content."

Cordelia moved closer to him and settled against his side, legs drawn up and head on his chest, he automatically put his arm around her shoulders. "Like this," she asked.

"Yes," he answered, and moved his thumb gently on her arm. She made a soft, contented sound, it definitely sounded like a mewl or a hum. "I love you, Cordelia Chase," Alexander said quietly,

"I love you, Alexander Harris," Cordelia answered just as quietly.

"Hey, Cordy, you think maybe you could call me Alex?"

"Why?"

"Do you remember the first day of kindergarten? You and Willow argued over that crayon and she broke it and started crying? I gave her my crayon and then introduced myself to you. I told you my name was Alexander, but people called me Xander. You wrinkled up your cute little nose and said, "Xander is stupid, you should just be Alex. Then you smiled at me, I felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest, I wanted to be Alex for you. But then Willow interrupted and insisted my name was Xander and as usual, I gave in. I want to be Alex."

"Alex, I like that, Alex it is."

"So you liked me before Buffy?"

"I liked you before any other girls, Cordy. You were the first girl I ever had a crush on, the only one I never got over and the only one I nurtured into love."

"And Buffy, how do you feel about her."

"Well, I figured out awhile ago, it wasn't so much a crush, as hero worship."

"Hero worship?"

"Yah, I hate vampires for what they did to Jessie and Buffy is a magic superhero made to kill them, plus a cute girl, so I think I just confused hero worship with crush. If you think about it, she isn't really my type. Look at the girls you know I've been interested in, Mrs. French, Ampata, Faith, a few others, all brunettes and well, bustier and curvier than Buffy, frankly. She just doesn't fit the kind of girls I've really been interested in. But you definitely do. In fact I would go so far as to say, you Queen C, are the Epitome of Perfection, as far this peasant in love with you is concerned."

"Epitome of Perfection, huh."

"Yep. I've always been attracted to you, Cordy. You remember that summer between when we were 11 and 12? You popped out a lot that summer. Once when we were at the beach, I saw you wearing this hot pink bikini, it wasn't even that revealing, really, but you looked so hot in it, I swear you slammed me straight into puberty. I ended up spending most of the day in the water and trying not to look at you, because everytime I did, there was a definite response."

"Really? Well your not the only one who feels things like that. After the swim team thing, I was kicking myself for not getting a picture of you in that speedo. You looked so hot in it."

"Man, I was so embarrassed, it showed off way more than I was used to."

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I was bragging about you."

"Cordy, I've missed you, I've missed us. Is there any chance for us?"

"I've missed you and us too. How about we start slow, go on some dates, see if we can fit back together, we seem to be off to a good start on that."

Alex leaned back on the couch, toed off his shoes and raised his feet onto the ottoman in front of him and reached for the remote on the side table and turned on the TV. "Why don't we start with a quiet night in, see what's on?"

"Good idea, give me the remote, no scifi,"

"Yes my Queen."

"Doofus."

"Your Doofus."

"And don't you forget it."

"Never again, I promise."

"By the way just what Jack did mean by baking a cake?"

And Alex entertained her with his story and got doped slapped for bluffing out Jack over a bomb.