JESUS CHRIST ACE DETECTIVE
BY BARRYLAWN
one day in the kingdom of khura'in peeslubn andistandhin AKA jesus christ was in his office in tempull temple, which is where he goes when hes being a detective which he doesnt when hes not guarding the urn or being a metal god or being head monkey, damn this guy is busy, he really is jesus! just then a bailiff came in
"mr jesus, theres a sinner in the fields"
"arlight, im gonna purify his soul or damn him, i love daming tho"
jesus went to the field but the sinner was gone but there WAS a DEID BODEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"IN THE NAME OF THE HOLY FUCKING SHIT" shouted jesus "NOBODY MOVE!"
jesus surrounded the three suspects and looked at the three of them
"you" he pointed at the man in the green coat
"yea" said the man and he gave jesus two tumbs up "im datz a rebel, wat ya want?"
"your very suspicious, tell me what you saw"
"alright"
===REBUTTAL===
"i was here in the field when i saw this guy run at the fuck over there"
"he got scared when suddenly he died"
"he was shot"
"THE POWER OF CHRIST SENDS YOU TO HELL" shouted jesus "the murder weapon was a knife!"
"i didnt say the knife killed him, he was still shot"
"THE POWER OF CHRIST SENDS YOU TO HELL" shouted jesus "theres no bullet wound"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT" shouted datz
"(he sounds very sure of himself... hey WAIT this turns this case about!)"
"the thing that was shot..." said jesus "WAS THE GUY!"
"WHAT" shouted guy "HOW"
"datz never said the killer shot the vicitm, HE MUSTVE MEANT THE VICTIM SHOT THE GUY"
"AAAAAAAH" shouted datz "YOUR RITE"
"and teh only one who cud have stabbed him IS THE REALLY KILLER, THE MAN WHO WAS SHOT"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" cried the man but then the old woman stepped in
"lord christ, can i interupt, the man was attack by the vicitm"
"WIAAAAT" shouted jesus for the final reveal "this means the real sinner... WAS THE VICTIM!"
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" shouted datz "your amazing jesus, your better than pw and aj"
"well, sinner victim, THE POWER OF CHRIST SENDS YOU TO HELL"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" screamed the victim and he got to hell and was tortured by satan
"last but certainly not least, i am a christian. that's not to say i don't struggle because i do, but it would be much worse without faith because sometimes, it's the only thing you'll have left in this world. people come and go, friendships will fade, achievement will be forgotten, and on it goes, but a strong faith will remain. in the name of the fatherfucker... amen."
THE END