"No" he said flatly
"what?" for once his mother wasn't screeching, that was the first sign of trouble, the second being the icy tone and the third the wand in a white-knuckle grasp
He swallowed but stuck to his declaration "I said No, Mother, I won't do it. I won't become a death eater; I won't follow that prick and I won't go around toting my blood superiority over those that are my equal"
"you will do as your told, boy" his father chimed in "you will obey your mother's command and you will join the ranks of the Dark Lord"
"you'll finally stop bringing shame to the house of Black and finally make up for being a stain on our honour" his mother spat
"shame? To this house? The house of madness and cruelty? Of depravity and maliciousness?" he snapped back "I'm a blood traitor and proud, just like Andromeda!"
"CRUCIO!" came the shriek of his bitch cousin Bella as she pointed her warped wand at him, and he collapsed writing on the antique family carpet that some distant ancestor had bought.
"you will join!" her mother said before calling out for their house elf "Kreacher! Fetch Regulus let him see what becomes of those that question the family"
He thought of James, of Prongs and his stupid glasses, always breaking, his love for the red headed muggle born witch, how could Sirius claim James as his brother if he renounced his brother and future sister in law? How could he deny someone who took one look at him and looked PAST all that he'd been groomed to be, all that he'd been told mattered. Past the blood, the name, the reputation and just saw Sirius. It was the first time in eleven years Sirius could breathe. The first time he was seen. He couldn't repay all that James had done for him. James was his best friend- his first friend and he'd never give him up.
And he also admired Lily Evans on a personal level, until he'd been eleven years old, he'd rallied against his parent's beliefs and doubted them, but he never had any evidence to back HIS thoughts and beliefs. Until Lily Evans, until she introduced him to the muggle world and all of it's wonders, who patiently taught him and who he found a kindred spirit both struggling with sibling problems. She also taught him that how he was treated wasn't okay, taught him new words like 'gaslight' and 'narcissism' 'neglect' 'abuse'. He liked those words, they validated him and his experiences. They helped ensure he didn't doubt himself or blame himself.
How could he turn his back on Peter? Poor Peter, shy and nervous and stuttering Peter, his little brother, wormtail, that he loved to tease so. He was timid and meek and a little bit of a coward but that was okay because he was still a Gryffindor, still his best mate and brother, still loyal and just, who knew right from wrong and still stood up for his mates when it mattered. Sirius could be brave and bold for both of them. Peter was always there to help when asked, always ready to sacrifice himself to filch or Mcgongall to make sure the prank would go off. He didn't say that but he admired Peter so much for all that he did, but Peter knew how could he not?
Remus, Moony, the man he loved. Those soulful amber eyes and floppy brown hair, the cardigans that he always wore looking like a professor in his mid-forties rather than the teenager he was. Who was so clever and knowledgeable about so many topics, a nerdy bookworm that would fold his socks. So what if once a month he turned into a werewolf? Sirius loved him fiercely, Remus taught him about kindness and chocolate-tasting kisses, soft caresses that didn't cause bruises to bloom across his skin, who never raised his voice because he knew and understood how it terrified him- expecting punishment to follow. Who had a endless amount of patience for him and his fuckups and his baggage, who still looked at him with love despite how Sirius felt unlovable at times? But that's what they did, they loved each other when they thought themselves the monster.
He'd die. die before he betrayed them.
As Bellatrix tortured him, cackling and delighting in it as she did so- he wondered briefly where the fiercely independent and brilliant witch had gone. Narcissa also stood and observed that blank, doll like look on her face that he despised, he missed the witch with the smile that would put the sun to shame and a silver tongue that was razor sharp, something witty always ready to be said.
The demands to join and harsh words of disgust, shame, stain, swirled around him but soon faded what did it matter what they said? He'd never give them what they wanted. He couldn't. he wouldn't. he was no whipped dog begging at the feet of his master for scraps. He laughed and coughed up some blood at his own joke.
"Toujours Pur" his mother said as she dug her clawed hand into Regulus's shoulder, staring down at her bloodied, tortured son with disgust twisting her once beautiful features
"R-Reggie" Sirius rasped out
"yes, mother, Toujours Pur...I understand" Regulus said blankly, the perfect son and heir to the house of Black, his mother turned and left the room leaving her perfect son to look down at the consequences of having free thought and will.
Sirius faded in and out of consciousness as the pain raced through him like fire, he wondered wether he would die here, he expected he would. His mother wouldn't want him living and spitting on the family reputation, the desire to outlive the bitch and all of his cunt relatives flared in him but tiredness soon followed...death wouldn't be so bad either, they wouldn't bother with a coffin or a funeral, or would they? Make a show out of his death, natural causes, of course. So tragic. A shame to lose such a promising young wizard but oh well, the spare still lived. He sort of hoped to be shoved into a ditch somewhere. He felt a pang of regret that his friends and family, his true family would never know what happened. He grunted as he felt arms wrap around him and haul him up slightly.
"work with me here, Siri" Regulus hissed as he dragged him across the carpet, Sirius sincerely hoped that his blood would never come out of the carpet.
"fuck are you doing Reggie?" he slurred out "you don't want to get your perfect clothing ruined by my filthy blood"
"I don't care about my fucking clothing Sirius! Mother's going to KILL you- she's discussing it with Father right now, how to arrange it to look like an accident" Regulus told him in a panicked filled tone and Sirius was reminded of the time Regulus had broken Mother's favourite vase. He'd taken the blame for that and gotten bruises that had lasted a month. Once upon a time he was certain it was worth it.
"what do you care?" Sirius wondered
"your my brother" Regulus replied
"neither of us have been fucking acting like it Reg, but I regret it" he admitted roughly "I'm sorry, I should have defended you, gotten you away from this fucking place, it's hell"
"it's too late now Siri" Regulus told him flatly and he let out a tired bark of laughter "but I regret it as well, I wish I could have been as brave as my big brother, you were always my hero, always will be"
"Kreacher! Get the floo powder" Regulus called
"Lady Black said the young master shouldn't be helping the filthy blood traitor" Kreacher said twisting his fingers while glaring viciously at Sirius
"I hope you never get your head mounted" Sirius retorted as he groaned in pain, the demented Elf had an obsession with being mounted
"look- Kreacher, I'm not helping him! helping him would be healing his wounds and keeping him in the home, I'm just...I'm just getting rid of the trash! We don't want to stain the flooring, do we? And you're the one getting the floo powder, Mother never said YOU couldn't help right?" Regulus reasoned
"Kreacher will be punished if the floors are dirtied but Kreacher doesn't want to help the filthy blood traitor" Kreacher said
"but I want to help him, so just...help me Kreacher, please" Regulus begged
"Kreacher will do anything for his master Regulus, even help the filthy blood traitor" Kreacher decided, before getting the floo powder as Regulus shoved him into the fireplace
"this is my last act as your brother, don't come home" Regulus warned him, and his face was the last thing Sirius saw as the emerald flames flared and he was deposited onto the foyer of the Potter house, the yell of his best mate the last thing he heard as he fell into unconsciousness