This chapter is from Lana Del Rey - Once Upon A Dream

That night Riftan found himself putting a little more effort into his looks. There was really no point in expecting to speak with Maximilian at these banquets, he could blink and find her chair empty. Still, some part of him felt inclined to check his hair for the umpteenth time before departing from his room.

Riftan had a little luck on his side that night, by chance he was able to evade any conversation from some haughty noble or insufferable woman leaving his full attention on Maximilian.

She was in a deep red dress with her hair pinned up with little pearls matching the ones around her neck. He wondered if she only dressed up for the banquets. Each time he had seen her outside of these events her hair was down or simply plaited, and her dress had little to no adornments on it. He pictured her pouting while her handmaids did her hair and forced her into more extravagant gowns.

The thought made him smirk a little.

While admiring the lady, Riftan slowly took a sip of wine from his goblet, transfixed as he watched her poke at the food in front of her. He had noticed her doing this during the first night.

Did she not like the meal?

Riftan glanced down at the food set down for the Remdragon Knights to feast on. It was a meaty dish swimming in a sweet gravy. Pretty soon it will be whisked away before he could finish it and replaced with another exotic dish, each more extravagant than the last. After repeating that several times they would be served with the desserts dyed in a variety of colors to show off the duke's wealth.

He hated to admit it, but the food was good. It left him rather curious as to why she seemed to prefer staring at the dish instead of eating it.

A picky eater? No, that didn't fit. The duke had mentioned her being unwell before, perhaps it had something to do with that.

The thought that she might be seriously ill was enough to make Riftan feel as if he had been stabbed in the heart. She seemed healthy when they were little so what could have changed? The knife twisted as he remembered trying to draw out the venom from her arm.

Was I not fast enough?

Slowly he shook his head and sighed before taking another drink of the dark wine. It couldn't be from that; he never experienced any ill side effects after he woke up from his fevered sleep. Then again, he was older and had never been sick before so perhaps she had a different reaction? But she also had healers.

He wished he could ask her, ask anyone about it but he wasn't sure if he could. Riftan would much rather push that guilt building up away and focus on what foods she did seem to enjoy.

You must like something.

His mind wandered off to more pleasant thoughts. Like, picturing her at Anatol. The banquet hall would no longer be barren but built up to be grander than the dukes' with a table filled with rich exotic foods like here...no, even richer if possible. Maximilian would be dressed in beautiful silks with her hair down while having her fill of the expensive meal. He would brush her hair behind her tiny ears causing her to look up at him and smile like she did the other day.

Riftan ignored the heat rising to his cheek as he heard a rather boisterous chuckle from beside him.

Hebaron continued his antics even when Riftan shot him a glare.

"Don't tell me you're already drunk?" Hebaron leaned onto the table, nearly knocking over Ursulin's glass in the process, earning a disgruntled look from the other Knight.

"This might be the first time I'm seeing you smile since we got here."

Feeling his mood sour, Riftan quickly finished off his glass and began to stand up.

"Your fascination with my mood is disturbing."

Hebaron shrugged. "Eh, just see it as me looking out for our future Commander." Holding up his own goblet he smirks behind the rim. "That is why you've been attending all these banquets."

Riftan didn't like how Hebaron stated it as if it was a fact.

"Anyone ever tell you that you have a knack for being wrong?"

The other knight had the audacity to pout at Riftan.

"Aw, come now Captain, don't be so-"

"Enough, I'm going to bed."

Riftan quickly turned to leave before Hebaron could finish a single thought let alone any sentence that sprung from his drunkard mouth.

Just as he was about to leave the banquet hall, Riftan glanced over to see if she was still there only to find her seat empty. With a sigh, Riftan shook his hair with a heavy hand and headed back to his room.

Maximilian wasn't in the gardens for the next few days, leaving Riftan having to be content with seeing her from across the banquet hall or in passing. Even that was starting to happen less and less. One of the banquets he wasn't even sure she attended.

A dark feeling started to gnaw away in his heart. Riftan didn't want to believe she was doing this on purpose, not after what she had said to him. However, whenever he went to the gardens, he continued to find them empty.

What was the point of all this?

You mustn't be like her. Don't choose misery.

Riftan went to sleep that night promising himself to finally heed his stepfather's words to give up, he should just accept what little closure he got from Maximilian and leave it at that.

That was apparently easier said than done because the next day he still found himself trudging towards the back of the castle and waiting there like a loyal hound until the bell rang out.

One the fifth day he finally saw her there.

Riftan nearly called out to her but stopped and sighed. He rested his arm against the tree while rubbing a hand over his face. He wanted to look somewhat composed, feeling like it would be pathetic if he seemed too excited.

Once he felt more put together, he cleared his throat in a way to get her attention.

Quickly, she spun her head around towards him and a look of relief washed over her. With graceful movements, Maximilian stood up and brushed off any dust from her. He wasn't surprised to see her in another practical dress; however, the color of the fabric did. Normally outside of the banquets her dresses were of lighter or muted colors but this dress was a dark rich blue that almost looked black. It made her look paler than she already was and brought out hues of red in her hair he had never noticed before. It made him a little sad to see she had braided it; Riftan was sure if she let her hair down it would look like molten fire pouring down over her freckled shoulders.

It wasn't until she looked down to curtsy that Riftan was broken from her spell.

They exchanged quiet greetings before he led them both a few steps into the tree line, making sure that no one would spot them.

"F-forgive me, S-Sir Riftan. I-I wanted t-to make sure...I-I didn't...th-that is..." she continued to fumble on her words as pink started to dust across her cheeks. Riftan wanted to try and stop her fretting but was halted by her quickly showing a small folded piece of cloth.

Slowly, like dealing with a cornered animal, Riftan took the tiny parcel from Maximilian's hand. He had half expected it to just be a handkerchief of some sort. He had heard of a Ladies Favor before, however there was something slightly heavy wrapped in the bundle.

The lady seemed to be looking at everything but him while fidgeting with her braid as Riftan carefully unfolded the cloth.

He could already feel his face start to heat up as he gently picked up the necklace. It looked as if she had taken brown embroidery thread and braided it until it became strong enough to securely wrap around a beautiful stone, turning it into a pendant.

Maximilian was saying something about the length and sturdiness of the necklace but for once he could hardly pay attention to her. He was too lost in thought as he lifted the necklace a little more so it would catch a bit of the sun's light. It was a beautiful silvery blue color, with hints of green and gold shining through depending on where the light hit the stone.

The heat on his face was starting to increase and slowly creep down his neck, he was about to thank her when a pair of small hands started to reach for the necklace.

"F-forgive me, I-I."

"No!"

Riftan blurted out while holding the necklace up high, like a child playing keep away. He didn't notice her jumping at the outburst, due to hiding his face with the other hand to try and cover up his embarrassment. If only he had accounted for the handkerchief still in his hand. It smelt like her perfume.

Fuck.

Riftan lowered his hand so that it just covered his mouth as he continued to ignore her flustered speech, instead focusing on the stone hanging in his hand. The color was beautiful, and so... he finally looked away from the pendent and down at the fretting lady, her large clear eyes staring up at him with tears starting to form in the corners.

Clearing his throat, he moved to place the necklace over his head. It was thankfully rather long, and when Riftan tucked it under his tunic it landed heavily right in the center of his chest. The irony was not lost on him.

"Thank you."

During the walk back to his room he could feel the weight of the pendant, and with each step it tapped against his chest like a small heartbeat.

Did she mean to choose one so identical to her eyes? Was it one he had given her? It wasn't smooth like the pebbles from the stream, but he didn't always gather them from there.

He brought a hand up to his chest, feeling the stone. Did she still collect them? The thought of her still searching for pretty feathers and stones to add into that little pouch brought a boyish smile to his face.

Riftan was thankful that he didn't run into anyone on the way back, he didn't feel like being accosted by anyone for his smile again.

Later that night, when preparing for bed, Riftan gently removed the necklace and held it against the candlelight. He spent a few moments admiring the shifting of colors again before carefully placing it on the cloth it was once wrapped around. Riftan couldn't help but fall asleep staring at the gift, making the memory of how brightly her eyes glowed when he thanked her melt into his dreams.

Riftan would have possibly kept smiling all throughout the next day if it wasn't for the weight of his coin purse.

Riftan didn't feel any regret for giving so much to his stepfather, no, instead he felt regret for letting Ruth talk him out of carrying more. Glowering down at his remaining coin he started to feel foolish. Riftan remembered trying to bring more with him just in case but damn mage talked him out of it. Ruth didn't think he would need so much coin while out fighting, which was true at the time, so he didn't.

Bastard.

Looking away from the nearly empty purse his eyes fixated on the necklace sitting beside his bed. Honestly, even if he had that extra forty gold it wouldn't be enough to give her something worthy. The duke most likely allowed her to have anything she could ever wish for. Still...

Running his hand through his hair he sighed and grabbed the necklace to put it on. He made sure it tucked under his shirt and secured before heading out of his room. This time luck wasn't on his side as Ursulin had caught him just as he was about to leave the guest wing.

"Perfect, I have been meaning to talk to you."

Riftan tried not to sigh. "What about?"

"The other night you left the banquet quite suddenly. There was a noble family visiting that has close relations to my own."

Riftan gave the man a look that said, 'what's your point?'

Sighing, Ursulin continued. "I had hoped for you to meet them."

"Are they still here?"

"Regretfully, no. They-"

"Good." Riftan quickly started to move past the man but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"If you do not wish to talk with the nobles visiting these banquets in our honor, in your honor, why attend?"

Riftan stayed quiet for a moment, he could never admit the truth to anyone, yet he still didn't feel right to lie.

"You know Triton is forcing me."

Ursulin scoffed.

"From what I've heard he only had to do that once."

Once again, Riftan had to think for a moment before replying.

"I like the food." Again, not entirely a lie.

Ursulin went from scoffing at the man to clicking his tongue in disappointment.

"For someone who is such a fine warrior and leader, you love to play the role of the brute."

"And yet you wish for me to take Triton's place."

"Of course, you're the strongest among us." Ursulin stated matter-of-factly while crossing his arms. "Who do you think is responsible for so many wishing to join the Remdragons? After that display at the tournament, you've set yourself in the forefront of many minds."

"That's not always a good thing." Riftan stated coldly while finally getting away from the other man.

Just as his shoulders started to relax, he could hear his fellow knights parting words.

"Only you seem to think that."

Riftan clenched his jaw at that comment. Closing his eyes he tried to focus on the tapping of the necklace against his chest instead of the growing pain in his head.

Ursulin of all people should know how poor of a choice Riftan would be. It was baffling that the noble seemed so ignorant of the fact of Riftan's tainted blood.

Sighing, Riftan rubbed the back of his neck as he continued down the path and down towards the stables. At least he could rely on Talon to not pester him. Despite the fact he could make it to the markets on foot, he felt bad for not checking in on his warhorse sooner. He smirked a little, hoping that the stallion hadn't caused too much trouble for the stable boys. He was aware of how his warhorse could be.

As he neared the stables a familiar noise rang out causing him to pause. His fingers twitched a little at the ringing of metal hitting against each other. With slow steps, Riftan made his way towards the distant sound, until it rang sharply in his ears.

Riftan wasn't sure why, but he was surprised to see the same blacksmith as before. He had aged quite a bit over the years. The lines on his face had increased and were made more pronounced by the soot from the fires. His dark eyes scanned the smithy, recognizing several of the workers as the other apprentices that had pushed their work on him.

Would they recognize him as well? Shocked to see the scrawny half-breed had grown into a knight. Chewing on the inside of his cheek he wondered if they had to work on any of his equipment while he stayed here. Riftan wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. His eyes continued to scan the area until they landed on a pile of horseshoes and the idea of making her something came to mind.

Huffing a laugh, he quickly shook off the idea. He hadn't exactly improved his smithy skills over the years and no amount of gold would persuade him to try.

Shaking his head, Riftan took a step back to leave again for the stables all while continuing to focus on the tapping of the necklace.

Riftan fucking hated this. Not once in his life had he ever thought to look for a gift for any woman, let alone one for her.

Holding onto the rains of Talon he sighed and rubbed his hand down his face. He wouldn't dare try to find her a dress and stepping into any shop that would sell jewelry was just pointless. The coin he had left would cause him to be laughed out of the shops.

Damn it, he didn't even know what she liked or her hobbies. He could only assume she liked animals and possibly still collected stones.

Letting Talon lead the way, they slowly moved down the cobbled street as he started to try and think. Perfume maybe? No, he didn't want her to lose the sweet earthy smell she already had. Flowers? No, they'd just end up dead. Riftan swallowed down a lump in his throat.

What the hell am I doing?

Every gift he had been thinking of was what suitors would give her...wait.

Riftan felt his ears start to heat up. Would this be considered courting...no. He rubbed the back of his neck and groaned. This was just a gift to show...what exactly? She had given him a gift as a thank you for burying her hound, that didn't mean he needed to do the same. Still, even if he didn't have the proper coin, even if he could never find something equally precious, it felt wrong to not give her something.

Riftan clicked his heels to speed up Talon's trot while keeping an eye out for anything to make this hassle seem worth it. Just as the thought of making her something was starting to sound like a better option he spotted a small merchant's stall placed rather awkwardly in front of a cramped smithy.

Riftan ignored the complaints from a coach driver behind him as he halted Talon's movements. The man leading the pampered looking horses started to curse out for Riftan to move, but he continued to tune out the yelling man as his eyes scanned over the stall. It held a rather odd assortment of items, ranging from common tools to tiny toys, but it was the few pieces of jewelry that caught his eye.

Just as others joined in on the coach drivers yelling, Riftan moved off the warhorse and led them both to the side of the road. The owner of the tiny stall eyed the tall knight nervously while continuing to help a man who was either too deaf or too old to care about the commotion Riftan had caused.

As the owner continued to help the older man, Riftan took the chance to examine the jewelry displayed. He was right to assume the metal used was leftovers from the forge. However, even if they had used better quality metal the craftsmanship on display was poor in comparison to what he had seen at the banquets. Nothing on the table felt good enough for her; till, the dark metals and the uneven texture reminded him of the crown he had once made.

If he was to get her jewelry, he truly wanted to give her something extravagant. Maybe gold with green gems and pearls. However, each time he saw her she was always dressed in practical gowns. Possibly, just maybe, she wouldn't like anything flashy and extravagant. He frowned, as much as that seemed possible there was still doubt clawing in his heart. Telling him anything he could get her would be tossed aside, worthless in comparison to her other jewelry.

Don't choose misery

Riftan swallowed down the lump in his throat, hoping that his stepfather's warning would go away along with it. It stuck around however until he took a step back and felt the necklace shift against his chest.

Maybe for when she's not in her fine silks.

Riftan smiled as he pictured her wearing one of the necklaces laid out in front of him. The dark thick chain contrasted against her pale skin like the dress she had worn.

Would she let me put it on her?

His hand reached out to play with one of the necklaces on display, still smirking as he ran a thumb over the smooth stone held in the metal. It was black with a silver shine to it just like...

Picking up the necklace, Riftan called out toward the merchant.

"Hey! How much?"