Bella POV

Charlie must have brought me to my room after I passed out. I tossed and turned all night, nightmares of Laurent and giant wolves haunted my dreams. They were so visceral and real that several times I woke up in a state of pure panic, drenched in a cool sweat.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I finally saw the orange hues of the sunrise sneak in through my window. I survived another night, but how much longer could I survive the emotional rollercoaster that was my life ever since I met…. them.

Was it not enough that every waking hour was filled with the slow aching pain that their absence had left me with? Did I have to go to sleep every night and not be able to escape into blissful dreams? It wasn't fair, I didn't deserve to feel like this all the time. If it wasn't for Jacob….

Oh yeah, Jacob. Just another devastation to add on top of the pile.

If I was being honest with myself, I expected him to call, to set things right and tell me that it was all a mistake and that he wanted me to come hangout with him and ride our bikes, like nothing happened. But instead I spent all day at home, cleaning, organizing, weeding the yard, anything to keep my hands and my mind busy.

I wouldn't call him, something in me had changed and I no longer felt like I needed to fight so hard to keep control. In an odd way, it felt freeing, and by the end of the night I had decided that I could do better, be better for myself.

If Jacob could go join a gang even after he saw what it did to his friends, then he could just go ahead and do that. He could go ahead and break every promise he ever made to me, it's not like I wasn't used to rejection at this point. Why should I add worrying about him to my list of stressors. Besides, I had bigger fish to fry, literally and figuratively.

When Charlie arrived home that night to an extra clean house, a weeded yard, laundry done, and dinner on the table, he seemed pleased my mood had turned.

"Did Jake call?" he asked,

"Nope!" I said cheerily, which gained a suspicious glance from Charlie.

"It's been a long day. I'm going to go take a shower and go to bed early." He grumbled in agreement and brought his food to the couch to watch the game.

As I climbed the stairs, I realized that despite yesterday's run in with Laurent, I felt more at ease than I had in months. A strange feeling when a vampire was out to get me. Even stranger that only this morning had I woken up in a state of fear and panic, yet those feelings were only a distant memory to me now.

I had barely turned off my bedside lamp when I fell into the most blissful sleep of my life.

Jacob POV

Bella's light turned off early, earlier than I would have expected. I had been camped outside her house for the last few hours while she had been working in the yard and cooking a delicious smelling meal for her and Charlie.

She seemed to be in a good mood, even after what had happened yesterday in the meadow. She didn't seem frightened at all. Could it be that she was so used to being in such dangerous proximity to vampires that now it barely affected her? The thought of that sent shivers down my spine. How could she have been so close to them knowing what they are? It made me angry to think about the danger she put herself in.

That's why I decided I needed to come back. I had run north all night long, trying to escape my feelings, the pack, all of it. It was too much, everything had changed all at once and I could barely keep a grip on what was real anymore. I was struggling with the extreme loss of control I had over my life. When the sun finally rose I realized I had no choice but to go back to her. I had to protect her either way, with or without the imprint. I loved her too much to risk anything happening to her.

As I settled into a comfortable position a bit closer to the house, I realized that despite my anxieties about everything that had happened to me in the last few weeks, I felt the tension ease a bit from my chest. The slight relief was welcome, I had felt only fear and tension since the that first night I phased.

The last few weeks had been the worst of my life. First, I unexpectedly changed into a goddamn giant wolf and suddenly I have a whole new set of responsibilities that I didn't ask for. Then it turns out that not only do I have this brand new duty in life, but it also means that I have to cut off the most important person in my life because nobody outside the pack and the council could know about our secret

Jake, you can tell her now…. Embry thought, replying to what was supposed to be a private thought.

Sorry man, I just hate seeing you like this when it doesn't have to be this way.

It does have to be this way, I knew how it felt to get your choices taken from you, I wouldn't do the same to Bella.

But she will have a choice, you can let her make it herself.

No.

I heard Embry sigh in my head, apparently exasperated with me and my stubbornness.

No, it's better that she doesn't know. I can keep her safe from afar and she can live her life like a normal girl. She can graduate and go to college, marry some normal guy, get a dog….

Ha, she could have a dog right now. Embry said with a laugh.

Can the peanut gallery shut the fuck up? I said with a little too much anger.

Okay, sorry geez… anyways I'll give you some space now. I'm gunna phase and get some sleep. Paul should be on patrol soon. See you later.

Seconds later I felt him disappear from my mind and there was blissful quiet. I could hear the TV in the Swan's living room and Bella's gentle breathing coming from upstairs.

See? She was fine without me.