Australia is good. Gil and Thena have a home and most of the time Thena knows where she is.
Most of the time she knows who he is and so most of the time things are good. They stay away from people, they have each other and Gil is very kind and loving, even when things aren't good.
She loves him dearly, even when she doesn't recognize him, even in the moments when she has no control, when Mahd Wy'ry takes over and every living creature near her is in danger.
In those moments she doesn't really know where she is and she doesn't really care. In those moments everything in her mind is on fire and fighting is the only thing that makes sense. Fighting and killing something.
Gil is strong and so he can hold her and bring her back but each time she returns it's with a kind of shattering devastation.
Confusion and pain and fear come back to her. Horrid feelings she can't put words to. Everything breaking in her mind and a million Earth's, little blue planets all alike dying. . .
She doesn't understand it.
It's worse each time and yet each time Gil is there for her, holding her and whispering kindnesses, his hands on her skin and in her hair, his words in her ear gently pulling her back from the brink of something wretched and frightening.
After these times she draws away, shame and the weight of her madness making her isolate herself, even from the man she loves.
She who was once a goddess. . . protector of the city of Athens. . . Name sake for the god of wisdom and warrior too. . .
Yet there are other things that get through the cracks. Things she doesn't understand and yet which fit somehow.
She tries to stay in control, tries to stay Thena whom they all know, whom Gil loves but it doesn't come as easily as it once did.
Even Ajak can't fix her and she knows in some ways that this can't go on forever. She and Gil have had their lives together, they've shared all this. Mahd Wy'ry is going to take her from him completely one day and her biggest fear is that she'll kill him first before it does.
She doesn't want that.
She wants this time with Gil, his beer and his baking, the creations he makes in his ovens and the home they have made together.
She wants to see her family again and fight along side them. She wants to continue being Thena of her family and to see each new sunrise with Gil next to her.
She doesn't want these nightmares of exploding planets and death. . . These dreams that remind her in her most troubled states of imminent doom and something worse she doesn't have a name for.
She forgets as soon as she returns.
All she can feel is the pain, the horror and the fear.
They leave her shaking until they fade and then it's just her and her fractured mind.
Maybe it's selfish to risk so much but Gil tells her it isn't and he takes care of her when she can't take care of herself. He's there for her each day and every night with a smile and a warm hand. . . With a good heart and she loves him for all of their centuries together and the millennia that came before. For everything and the way he smiles.
In their little corner of the world they're safe and the world is safe from her. Here it's just the two of them and while not everything makes sense she's glad they're here.
She's glad she has Gil and perhaps the universe will forget them and let them live just like this a while longer.
Thena can only hope because she knows she won't get better. There is no cure and so all there is is time and the feelings between them.
She can't ask for any more and sometimes she forgets to try.
Sometimes the flat edges of the earth at the corners of her vision are all there are and she knows right where she is. In those moments she knows she 's with Gil and everything is good for at least a while longer.