The Therapy Session (Or, There Is A Toaster At The End of The Story)

By Kairi Taylor

Disclaimer: The two characters within this story are not mine. They are the copyright of DC Comics, Warner Bros and Cartoon Network. And brother, I have been waiting for almost an entire YEAR to tell this story. Enjoy!

She laid back on the plush red chaise longue sofa with a sigh. The situation she was in was something someone of her intelligence was not used to, but she was going through a bit of a identity crisis and right now, Velma could use all the help she could get.

Velma Dinkley, youngest member of the 5-member team known as Mystery Inc (Or the Scooby Gang for the general public) had a lot of this going for her: she was a highly motivated young woman, excelled in many different fields of study (and surprisingly enough, hockey and pro wrestling), had gained numerous awards in her academic pursuits and had even developed a large following of admirers over the years.

However, there was one thing that was a mystery to many: her love life. Or rather at this point, her lack of one. She had been spotted with many a potential suitor, but she barely showed any interest in anyone beyond a romantic one. She even admitted to one possible man she met that her work with the team had taken precedence over the matters of the heart (he was kinda cute in his own boorish way, she had admitted to herself afterwards).

That all changed one year ago after the latest case.

Velma's first glimpse of the career criminal known as Coco Diablo (the woman responsible for just about every costumed villain the team had encountered over the years) had set off an immediate chain reaction of emotions that she was not properly ready to comprehend rationally in a coherent sense.

"In other words, as Daphne would probably put on it, I was going gaga for Coco big time!" Velma explained to the therapist she was with this day. "I'm not used to having affection for another person like that…especially another girl! It was just so SUDDEN and I'm still trying to deal with it!"

"There there, Velms. It's perfectly natural to feel anxious about this sort of thing. If you didn't I'd be worried it was going to be a sign of something WORSE. I mean really bad, like Ivo Shandor level kind of worse."

The therapist in question was someone that no one ever expected Velma to seek out but for the sake of plot building, we will say this was both done at the behest of Daphne and a certain caped crusader. Sitting in the seat behind Velma, holding a notepad was one Dr. Harleen Quinzel, aka Harley Quinn. Despite her most recent crimes and misadventures, she was still a very good psychoanalyst/therapist. Pushing her glasses up, she said to Velma patiently "I'm still surprised Daph and Bats referred you to me though, especially since I thought the Justice League had a good support group. But that was before a certain incident. Maybe they thought this would be good for both of us, hard to tell with them."

"You think?"

"Believe me, I have gone through odder things. But we're getting off track. This is about you. How are you adjusting these days since you met Coco?" Harley wanted to know how Velma's mind was assessing her current situation. Keeping her focused was step one.

"To put it bluntly, it's been a very taxing time," Velma sighed. "I've found myself thinking a lot about Coco, more so after the case was finished. She's got this very self-confident vibe going for her, and she knows how to take control of a situation when she needs to. Her deductive skills, proficiency in engineering and advanced mechanics, the way she can describe the molecular components of a basic combustion engine—"

"And her smoking booty."

"Oh hell yeah her smoking booty—wait I mean her physical attributes-you did that on purpose didn't you?"

"Totally," Harley snickered. "Having a physical attraction to her is something you should not be ashamed of, you two are both young and healthy adults. Seriously, I still can't get over people still calling you all meddling kids. At least two of you are legal drinking age now."

"Anyway, I do think about her a lot. I kind of hope when she does get out of prison we could have some real quality time together but, well, this is still something I'm trying to navigate. I still can't believe Daphne was able to catch on faster than me that I'm…well…"

"Still having a bit of a hard time admitting it, huh Velms?"

"Yeah." Velma sighed.

"It's ok. You're here with me now and believe it or not, that is more important than you realize. Not everyone awakens to certain aspects of their psyche, and it can come out in different ways. Some people try to distract themselves by throwing themselves head-first into a task. Take me for example. Believe it or not, I had started collecting a shit load of Beanie Babies when I tied to deny having feelings for Denise Whitbourne back in my days of high school."

"Wait, I thought your first female crush was—"

"No. Technically speaking, Ives was my 3rd. My second was Tall Dark and Amazonian."

Velma nodded her head. She could not blame her.

"So, accepting that part of yourself is very crucial because if you don't, it can hurt ya in many ways, trust me. At the worst, you could date someone and try to trick yourself into believing it's the best thing for you."

"Yes, I ALMOST did that with Shaggy," Velma admitted.

"Really? I never really could see you two together, I'll be honest. If anything, I would have bet you'd try to hook up with Daph at least ONCE."

"I know, I know," Velma agreed, rubbing her temple "and while the occasional naughty thought did go through my mind, I don't think she is my type. Maybe a one-night stand at best, but it would probably get AWKWARD the day after. And then there would be the temptation to resist thinking about her in that one nightgown over and over."

"Do tell." Harley smiled, eagerly scribbling. The notes she had for her Daph x Velma fanfic were getting juicier.

"This…just feels natural all of a sudden." Velma admitted.

"GOOD! Progress. See, all it takes is just one good day."

"I recognize that but…people…"

"People can suck, I know," Harley picked up a can of soda and drank from it quickly as she continued "Sexual identities are still a hot button topic no matter what era we are in. There will always be someone who thinks they can speak for everyone and try to make them conform. Those are the kind of people I like punching in the face really, REALLY hard. They're like, number 5 on my list!"

"You have a list?"

"Oh yeah. I know what you're thinking and yeah, Bats is on that list. Also, on said list is my loser ex-boyfriend, Nazis, drug dealers, pedos, Amanda Waller, Puritans, Nazis again, Proud Boys, conservative extremists, That Orange Bastard, Nazis because why not and that bitch who works at the local Cinnibuns. SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE DID." Harley shook her hand in the air at that last part. The sins that woman committed could never be forgiven.

"I'll make a note not to go to that Cinnibuns. But yeah, people becoming aware of this now is still new to me. Believe it or not I've gotten…popular with a lot of ladies. And maybe a few guys."

"You were ALWAYS popular. Believe me, there are people who like academic types. I'm an academic type, believe it or not." Harley pointed out.

"But you're very attractive You can get away with looking hot in a tube top and denim shorts."

"And you can't? When was the last time you were in a swimsuit?"

"Uh, last summer at Camp Little Big Moose."

"Ok. And did a lot of people stare at you in that time?"

"Yeah but…I always thought it was because I was with Daphne." Velma observed. The wheels were slowly turning in her mind…

"Understandable. But did they stop staring when you weren't with her?"

"…No, actually they didn't."

"Mystery solved." Harley chirped. "Congrats, you just realized people think you are HOT."

"I'm surprised it took me that long to address that revelation," Velma said in amazement.

"See, progress! Now we can take that important next step. And you gotta vocalize it. It's best to get it all out."

"Do…do I have to?" Velma was beet red. It was quite cute, Harley thought.

"Yup! This session can't go on to the next step until we pass that hurdle." Getting up, Harley grasped one of Velma's hands and said in a very assuring tone "Now take a deep breath there Velma…and say to me what you need to say."

She gulped. She was even more afraid than the time the gang took on Mamba Wamba and Mano Tiki Tia at the same time in Samoa (oh you just HAD to be there for that one, really man, it was NUTS!). But she needed to get it out there.

"Come on, you got this…"

One deep sigh later…

"My name is Velma Dinkley…and I…really…REALLY…LIKE WOMEN."

"Well, I was hoping you say, 'I'm a lesbian', but what the hell, YOU DID IT!" Harley gave her the thumbs up and handed her a toaster as she sat up.

"Why a toaster?"

"It's an Ellen gag. Trust me, someone somewhere knows the meaning behind this. Now that we got that out of the way, we need to get you out on the field. There's a girl I think you should spend some time with. Her name is Marcie Fleach…"