"Ok. Now can you tell us why we are in the middle of bum fuck nowhere?!" Sonic asked in frustration.
After Cain got a text from an unknown individual, he went to Hyrule and took with him Sonic, Tails, Eggman, Earthworm Jim, and Gilius Thunderhead
"Yeah. It's bad enough that I'm missing my shows, but I didn't prepare any ass wine for the trip." Thunderhead said.
"Well, considering we are now deep in Nintendo land, I might as well." Cain said as he sat down on a rock.
"You might, because it's hot as hell out here, and I don't know if you noticed but no pants!" Eggman said as he motioned his bottom.
"I'm getting to it. Look, I got a notification in my phone. It was a bounty for a group of men and you guys are those men."
"What? That's crazy. Who would put up a bounty on this handsome man?" Jim said with a grin.
"Believe it or not, it's from Sega." Cain said.
"What?! Why would they want to get rid of us?" Tails asked.
"It didn't say that they want you dead. They want you alive."
"Great. Now we are more screwed then before." Sonic said.
"Look. Maybe we aren't screwed yet. I suggest that we go Princess Zelda for some help. Sega and Nintendo aren't really friends, so she might be able to get Nintendo to help us." Tails said.
"Did I hear someone needs to find a Princess?" Link said as he walked up.
"Hey Link!" Everyone said cheerfully, except for Tails, who groaned.
"Oh Tails, you're such a Pooh." Link said.
"Tell me about it." Sonic said.
"You know what this group needs?" Link asked.
"To find the Princess?" Tails said.
"I'm sure she's not in the closet. Lord knows you've spent enough time hiding in there." Link said, gaining oohs from the other men.
"What?! I'm not gay!" Tails said.
"Ok, ok, whatever you say doll face. No, what this group needs... is margaritas!" Link said, causing the me to cheer, except for Cain and Tails.
"Look. As much as I want margaritas, we really need help. Because it's only a matter of time before some bounty hunter finds us and take us to Sega, to do god knows what." Cain said.
"Fine. Just follow my amazing tookus. We'll be there in two shakes." Link said as he walked in a direction.
The rest of the group followed him, going through different worlds from different games.
"Are we there yet? It's feels like we've been walking forever." Sonic said.
"Don't worry my blue friend because we are here." Link said as he walked up to a building.
The group looked up to see that it was a margarita bar.
"Margarita time!"
The group then begins to chant "margaritas!", except for Tails and Cain, who looked unimpressed.
"Well, might as well get a drink. Knowing these guys, they'll bitch about it later if we focus on the mission." Cain said.
"Ugh fine. Just one drink." Tails said, causing the rest to cheer and enter the bar.
Everyone sat at their table and got their margarita.
"Men. After everything we have been through. I propose a toast. To our future, and may we get through it together." Cain said as he raised his glass.
"Yeah, Cain the Main man. Let's get it on!" Thunderhead said.
With that, everyone took their drink, only to feel dizzy, making Cain realize one thing.
"Thhhee Drrrrinnnnks aaarrreee ssppppiiikkkeeed." Cain slurred out before passing out, with the rest following suit.
Cain woke up to see that he was back at the house, but with no one in sight.
"Guys. What happened?"
Cain looked around, only to see a note next to him.
He open it and read it, which explained what had happened.
Dear Mr. Cain,
By the time you read this letter, we took back Sonic and the others. The only one we left are the worm, viking, and gay knight. As you already know that Tails told you about us telling him to ruin Sonic. We also know that he told you about deal, where we agreed to the artists from the Sonic fandom that we take their characters if they paid us. We did this because we are in need of money after the war. But now that we have enough money, we are going with the second phase, getting out stars back. Now that we have our stars back, we are going to release our new game with the fandom arts, so we can rise again. So if you are thinking of going to meet them again, don't.
From, Sega.
Cain could just look at the letter in disgust and rage.
He knew had to do something, but what is the point.
The only ones he got was his family back in the city.
With that, he got out of the house, to see that his hover car was still intact, so he hopped on and rode it to the city.
After the event, he lived peacefully with Mother Brain, Senequa, and Shaymin, while Sega released their new game.
It was an instant flop because of the new characters.
Sega worked hard to try to pick themselves up, while Sonic tries to maintain what is left of his popularity.
But then Sega went bankrupt, and for some reason, the fan art characters started to take over, destroying the land, and polluting the air.
The rest of the consoles decided to block off that large portion of the land, to make sure that no one gets in, and nothing comes out.
It was a few years later, until Cain received a knock on the front door.
Cain was still the same man, but with some grey hairs.
He was in the same house that Mother Brain lived, busy with Senequa, who is now a teenager as they build something.
They then heard a knock at the door, and look at each other.
They each took out a gun and walked to the door to open it, only to reveal an aging blue hedgehog.
"Sonic?" Cain said.
"Woah Cain. You look the same, but with grey hair." Sonic said in a gristle old voice.
"And you look like shit." Senequa said.
"Wow, Senequa? You look amazing." Sonic said.
"Got that from my dad." Senequa said with a smile.
"Well, come on it. Haven't seen you in a while, so you must have got loads of stories to tell." Cain said.
"I'm sorry but I got no time for stories. But I need your help." Sonic said.
Just then, a female chipmunk with a younger one with blue hair.
"So this is the man you talked about. He seems taller." The female chipmunk said.
Cain and Senequa could just stare at the family in shock.
"Wow. Never thought I see the day that Sonic settled down and have a family." Cain said.
"And I want it to stay that way. Look, like I said I need your help. I need you to take in my family while I go out looking for a job." Sonic said.
"Well, what kind of job?" Cain asked.
"Any job would do. If I can get enough rings, I might be able to help my family." Sonic said.
"Heh. Doing whatever it takes to save your family huh? Reminds me of Mother Brain, sacrificing herself when the fandom took over." Cain said, making him and Senequa to bowed their heads.
"Yet, I feel like that is not the only thing you came for." Cain said raising his head.
"Damn, nothing get passed you. Well, you're right about that. I need your help. I can't do this alone. I can't do what I normally do because of my body. The fandom caused me and other canon canon characters to lose our touch. So I need you to help me, please." Sonic said.
Cain looked at Sonic, then at Senequa.
"Don't worry dad. I'll keep the fortress under control. Besides, everyone is scared of the avocado beast." Senequa said as she gave out a maniacal grin.
"Hehehe. That's my daughter. Ok Sonic. Let's do this for old times sake." Cain said with a smile, causing Sonic to smile back.
"Thank you. Now let's head back. I made a call to someone."
Sonic and Cain were waiting next to a wooden house, where Sonic claimed that he and his family lived in.
"So Sonic. If you don't mind, can you tell me what happened on that day. You know when we had those margaritas." Cain asked.
"Ah, I was wondering when you were going to asked. But if you must know, we are taken back so we can learn to communicate with those fan characters. God, it was horrible, but we can't disobey Sega, because if we do, we'll become their toy instead." Sonic said as he shuddered.
"I get that, but what happened after the game flopped?"
"I tried to save my reputation by doing stunts and other tricks, but the fans weren't impressed. In the end, I did one last trick, but it ended horribly. It was so bad, that I decided to no longer use my speed again." Sonic said.
"What? But you're Sonic the Hedgehog. The fastest Hedgehog alive." Cain said surprised.
"I was, but not anymore. Besides, I have a family to take care of." Sonic said as he looked off in the distance.
"Is it your man?" Cain asked.
"God no. it's Mpreg Greg, and his gang of pregnant fellers." Sonic said.
A group of four came walking up to the two.
They consists of two Sonics, on green and one orange, a red armadillo with blue armor, and a look-alike of Knuckles, and all of them have a large stomach.
"Well, if it ain't the slowest thing alive. You got our rings old man?" Greg asked.
"I'm afraid I ain't got any." Sonic answered.
"Maybe y'all forgot how things work now. This ain't the old days. Fan art characters run the zones now. No one gives a yiff about actual canon no more. If you ain't fetish fan art, you ain't nothing."
"Hey! You leave him alone. If it weren't for him, all of you wouldn't even be here! So show him respect!" Cain said, annoyed by what Greg said.
"No, Cain!" Sonic pleaded.
"Well, lube my dildos. If it ain't the one and only Cain. I have heard about your wife, a shame, but your daughter managed to survive. It be a shame if she got... impregnated."
This caused Cain to growl, causing Sonic to hold him back.
"Look. There is no need for threats. I don't have the rings now, but I'll pay you double by next week." Sonic said.
Greg thought about it for a moment, then gave an answer to Sonic.
"Alright, double. And if you ain't got it, my fallopian tubes won't be the only thing getting twisted." Greg said.
He then pull something out of his own body, and whips Sonic with it.
"Consider that a warning." Greg said as he and his group walked off.
"You should have let me killed them there and now." Cain said as he picked up Sonic.
"As much as I want to, I can't. Greg's group is much larger than you think. I'm pretty sure that he got an eye on us, wherever we go." Sonic said, making Cain to grow a concerned face.
"Don't worry. I made extra precautions to make sure that they didn't see us go to your place." Sonic said, causing Cain to calm down.
"Ok. I trust you." Cain said, as he sat down.
It was a couple of hours and it was night when the two heard a engine running.
They looked up to see a large truck, carrying some old friends.
Tails has a rugged looked and is missing his two tails.
Eggman who is now jacked and is now wearing his pants, but with no shirt.
Earthworm Jim, who is in the robotic suit that Eggman made for him.
Thunderhead, who is still the same, but with a few scars and is now in some sort of Sonic costume.
"Guys. It's really you. You're all alive." Cain said with a smile, as he saw his old friends again.
"Cain? Sonic? You're alive?! My god, we thought the fan arts got to you." Earthworm Jim said in shock.
"Ain't no fan art going to take me down." Sonic said.
"What's with the old gristle voice? It's been three years and you two look like an old fart, like Tails." Thunderhead said, gaining a glare from Tails.
"My old voice is like a lit up flare in a desert full of black sand at night. If I used it, it'll attract god knows what to me." Sonic said.
"And we look old, because of the stress we had to endure from what is happening now." Cain said.
"Fair. And you didn't mention my muscles." Eggman said as he flexed.
"I was getting to that. It's amazing that you are no longer a sad sack of shit. And you even got the pants back on, except you ditched the shirt." Cain said.
"And hide this glorious body? No way!" Eggman said as he continued to flexed.
"Never mind that. I just couldn't believe my dang ears when I got the call. The Blue Blur asking me for help." Tails said.
"Heh. Haven't heard that nickname for a while. Besides, the Blue Blur is dead. It's Sonic now, Tails." Sonic said.
"I'm afraid you can't call me that. Lost my tails the day the fandom took over. An oc named Baruto took them to make a fur suit. So I'm just Miles now." Miles said going back to his original name.
"Damn. What about the rest of you?" Cain asked, only to be interrupted by Sonic.
"Never mind that now! I need work. I got a debt to pay back to Mpreg Greg. You know what happens when Mpreg Greg don't get paid." Sonic said.
"He gets you pregnant?" Miles asked.
"Worse. Trust me, I've seen it." Sonic said.
"Well, it's happens that I got a job for all of us. Some oc wants us to deliver a extremely special cargo across the country. If we succeed, we get paid." Miles said.
"Well, that's depends. How much?" Sonic asked.
"Enough to clear your debt and make Mpreg Greg and his cronies to leave you alone for the rest of your life." Thunderhead said.
"Let's do it. Where are we heading?" Cain asked.
"Well, we have to go through hundred of miles, going through the most dangerous and creepy fan art zone imaginable. But, it will be worth it." Earthworm Jim said.
"That sounds like the plan. But I must ask, what is in the cargo. Smelly sweat socks, stained underwear, bottles of piss?" Sonic asked.
"I'm afraid we don't know either. The person who gave it to us, told us to never open it, no matter what. Unless we like getting nothing." Tails said.
"It must be something worse then. But I need the payment. Well, let's go." Sonic said.
End of Chapter 9.