4 minutes, 4 minutes was all that separated me from the Ninth Underworld, the Land of Eternal Rest.
The train had already left, I rest in the seat and think thinking about my 4-year journey, but its origins trace back long before that.
I remember my life in the Land of the Living, there wasn't much to remember, I wasn't close to my family, and had no close friends, my sarcasm and coldness bothered the people around me. But I always loved smoking, it make me feel good, and I wouldn't hesitate to say that was my favourite hobby. Maybe that caused my death.
When I woke up in the Land of the Dead, I was a skeleton, they said that because of my sins I had to work for a indefinite time, on DOD, the Department of Death.
I started out as a travel agent/ reaper, which was my only job, because I was never promoted. They gave me a scythe and a cloak.
It went good at first, I became friends with Eva, the boss's secretary, and I was the best agent, and it looked like I would be gone soon, I made car sales, and every so often Double-N tickets, the tickets to the Number Nine train, that I was in now. It lasted for 4 minutes instead of 4 years.
I always thought about the 4 years that had waited for me after the service time.
It all changed when the boss left, I heard rumors that he had retired. The new boss was Don Copal, very strict and he didn't like me.
Copal's new favourite was Domino Hurley , the new agent.
Domino made all the good sales, and my quality dropped.
One day , I picked up Celso Flores, another soul whose reward was only a a walking stick for his 4 year journey, oh and the compass in the handle(of the walking stick) would sure come in handy for him someday.
I found out that there was a poisoning, from a bad gazpacho.
So I went to the garage to go with my driver to the Land of The Living, when I was greeted by a big orange demon.
Oh, almost forgot to mention that demons are created by the Land of the Dead itself to do specific tasks, mainly driving.
The demon was named Glottis, and he explained me that Domino sent my driver home.
I asked him if he was a driver, but he denied. Finally I convinced him but there was one little problem, he didn't fit in the cars.
To solve this he needed a work order signed by the boss himself.
To get it I had to climb a rope made of ties, get in Copal's empty office and put in the computer the affirmative automatic response.
I gave the order to Eva, and she signed it.
Glottis made some adjustements and we went for it.
But, I only managed to get Bruno Martinez, a little stubborn, that was even worse than Celso.
He only qualified for the worst package, be locked in a coffin for 4 years, to then go to the Ninth Underworld.
I gave him a mug and off he went, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't made a Premium sale(double-N), I would be fired.
Desperate, with some ballons from a clown, I fucked the tube system.
A purple demon named Juan Brennis(Obs. his name is never mentioned, but it's revealed in the game's script)who said he was made for elevatores but he fixed the system..
Using a marked card from my deck of cards, I got Mercedes Colomar, or Meche for short.
Glottis competelly changed the car, and he named the car Bone Wagon.
I don 't know how, but I didn't managed to find a Double-N ticket, despite she deserving it, only a walk like Celso.
Astonished, I went to talk to Eva to solve this issue.
But, Meche left without telling me anything to start her journey.
Don Copal appeared, and accused me of using an illegally modified car with an unregistred driver to steal Meche from Domino, then he locked me in Glott's place in the basement.
Salvador Limones saved me and presented himself as the leader of the LSA, the Lost Soules Aliance.
He explained that he too was a travel agent, until he found a web of corruption in the DOD, people from the Eight Underworld were stealing somehow the tickets from people that deserved them, like Meche for example.
Eva was also there fixing a radio.
To find Meche, I had to make a few tasks to become an LSA member.
So, I picked up some pigeons'eggs and made an impression of my teeth.
Afterwards, Salvador took me to the Petrified Forest, which was 12 Km away from my hometown, El Marrow, Rubaca the town where Meche could possibly be was 1024 Km away form El Marrow.
I found Glottis, who was fired, he threw away his heart, but I saved him, then we improved the Bone Wagon, and after defeating fire beavers we made it to Rubacava.
I didn't know at the time but Don Copal had been asassinated(sprouted) by Hector LeMans, who later became the head of the gang.
The city was covered in fog, I fell in the sea, and Dockmaster Velasco saved me.
He said that he had a place to store the Bone Wagon, when I asked him about a job, he said taht it was all Union work in the docks, and that he just couldn't see me in that Maritime Union.
I found Rub-A-Mat, an automat, where Celso worked.
He offered me his job if I found a clue about his wife, after getting a log book from Velasco, he offered him his mop to clean the floor(great job) and he went searching for his wife.
I became the owner of the automat, renamed Calavera Café, which even had a casino, Glottis became the club pianist, and I became quite rich.
I had hired a coat checker named Lupe.
A year later, after I arrived in Rubacava, I went down the street, and I saw a ship named SS Lambada, where Meche and Domino, I was taken down by a bottle from Meche, and again I was rescued by Velasco after falling in the sea.
He said that the ship was headed for Puerto Zapato, and only the SS Limbo was going there.
Glottis could go because there was an opening on the engine room, but he had to bring Seabees's tools.
I needed an Union card, and luck for Seaman Naranja to never appear.
The town has: a prision, a morgue, because here flower means death within death, Maximino's cat race track, the High Rollers Lounge, where his lawyer Nick Virago was, the Olivia Oferenda, the Blue Casket, the Toto Santos's pier, a tattoo artist, and the seabees docks with its leader Terry, and the lighthousel.
By making Terry communist, Bogen(a cop) arrested him, and I blackmailed Nick with a photo taken by Lola(a photo girl who was sprouted by Nick) I made Nick release Terry who gave me all his tools.
Chowchila Charlie, a shady guy, offered me a counterfeit Union card if I retrieved his money from Maximino..
Avoiding employees Raoul, and Aitor(a demon)I retrieved Charlie's money and got the card.
To disable Naranja, I drugged him and I stole his id card, and Membrillo found it telling Velasco that Naranja had been sprouted.
Salavador sent me letters through the carrier-pigeons Manny and Meche, that Hector LeMans was the head of the gang.
I escaped in the Limbo, and became capitain of a modernized Limbo renamed SS Lola.
After a year, I arrived at Puerto Zapato.
It was a trap, asassins disguised as custom agents, sprouted my crew, and I would have been sprouted if Glottis hadn't intreviened.
I exploded part of the ship, and with its remains jumped at the Pearl where Salvador said Meche jumped in.
Me and Glottis were in the Sea of Lament, where we found Chepito who had a light.
With his forced help we let him be kidnapped by an octupus and we left for the Edge of the World where he was headed, there slaves including Chepito, where working on a reef mine.
Running the factory was Domino, who wanted me as the CEO of the factory so could return to the city(El Marrow).
Meche took care of children who because of their premature death, were angels, the Angelitos.
I got a gun and a bust-all after a trade with Chepito.
Meche threatened to kill me and was put in a jail where I liberated her.
I found Glottis who had found a ship named SS Lamancha.
With some minor fixes we made it out of the edge.
Domino chased us but was crushed by the ship.
After we traded the Lamancha for dogs, and a year of walking we made it to the End of the World, an Artic desert or Antartic whatever you prefer.
There was a guardian of a Mayan Temple(Pre-Colombian Central-American civilazation), there Glottis became ill.
I found out that the tickets were sold, I managed to save Glottis, not before meeting Bruno again.
We returned to Rubacava , where I got liquid nitrogen and returned with Olivia to El Marrow.
Olivia explained that the city had been renamed Nuevo Marrow, and that Hector had take control of the city.
I managed to get a gun by Bowsley(Hector's florist), and entering disguised as Jonny Thunder I entered Hector's casino, where I found Brennis doing his job, and Charlie playing slot machines.
I enterde Hector's waiting room where I found Celso with his wife.
I convinced him to accept Hector's offer.
Hector was pleased with me and offered me my old job at the DOD, in my old office.
But I revelaed myself, and I managed to get the Double-N tickets that were stolen, he sold fake ones, but he escaped.
I pursued him and I entered Olivia's car who revealed herself to be Hector's girlfriend, who had sprouted her ex-boyfriend Maximino.
Olivia had decapitated Salvador.
She made me go to Hector who shot me, but the weapon was slow-acting.
Salvador, or what remained of him (the head), revealed that there was a gun in the car's trunk.
That was when Olivia came in and Salvador exploded his death teeth killing himself and Olivia.
I retrieved my scythe and I had a gun.
That was the meadow, Hector's murder mausoleum, but his enemys' flowers were watered, by a tube that connected that fountain with his greenhouse.
I fired at the connection, and I arrived at the greenhouse where Hector had already been sprouted, justice was served and I threwed away the gun, it was useless now.
I reunited with Meche on the train station of the Mayan Temple.
Meche, the angelitos, and the former slaves had their Double-N tickets, and I had one too has the retirement ticket from the DOD.
Unfortunately, Glottis who always acomppained me had to go, and he stayed with his new friends.
I sat besides Meche, we kissed and then I started to think on these thougts.
I stop thinking and hear Meche say "We arrived" , I quickly realized that the train had stopped and the doors had opened, time to rest in Paradise.