Author note:
I think my 12 k word fanfiction re-wired my brain a little. Because tell me why I wrote 2k words in 2 hours...what's crazier is that I wrote this whole one-shot fic in like 2 days...
Also, ehm this was an idea i wrote in in 2020, but didn't actually write it until now, actually the story is much different to what i had originally 'drafted'/'outlined', so I guess I just went with whatever felt right at the moment, instead of listening to my past self. I think it turned out a bit better than that as well.
Originally it was supposed to be like, 'oh Wally left a letter here let's read it' and then a little marble from his past, and then awkwardness for like a whole day after, and then a confrontation...(my outlines are basically single sentences of what could possibly happen) but that doesn't/didn't feel right, so I just took the basic idea, of an old letter and Wally and the Team talking about his past, and Wally being happy, and silly interactions between close friends.
This fanfic was crossposted on Ao3.
Final word count: 5,011
Wally had been an unruly curious child, he was constantly running, and looking for bugs in the backyard. He loved being able to share his finds to his mom in particular, although his dad had never been a fan of this, but his dad had never been a fan of anything of his ever, so that wasn't so unusual.
At the age where he was fighting with The Team within the league branches, It had been years since he actually had lived with his parents, it had been difficult, but in the end he had started living more and more with his aunt and uncle. It especially got more so when Wally gained his powers. And permanently, a little after.
But before that had happened, little Wally had school, and the library, any way to get away was good enough. He didn't really particularly like being at home, his mom was okay, really she was, his dad, not so much.
Aunt Iris had been a refuge, but unlike school and the library he had no chance to always go there, maybe for breaks, or weekend visits if he asked kindly enough.
So one day, when he was nine years old, his class mentor and homeroom teacher, Miss Bens had a big announcement for them all. He had been more than surprised.
"A time capsule?" Wally asked, to no one in particular, as he looked at the paper that had been given to him by the passing of papers desk to desk. It was blank, no words were on it, but there were guidelines for the letters to be in between, Wally wasn't really a big fan of those, they didn't fit the big choppy letters he wanted to write.
"Yeah, apparently the school does this every year for the third graders," a fellow classmate said, nodding his head.
"I'm so excited!" another one said behind the other, she had overheard the two, "We are actually old enough to do this, I mean finally!" she continued smiling wide with a tooth gap showing, she was cute, but so was the boy beside Wally, whose rosy cheeks shined. Not that was of any importance in that very moment, but it was a thing a nine year old Wally had noticed.
And Wally couldn't say that he disagreed with the girl that had sat behind them, it did make him feel more grown up, like it being the school's right of passage for third years. They were after all only three years away from being twelve year old tweens, and twelve was close to fourteen, and everybody knew that they were the coolest, most mature people in the world, they were also very scary.
Or that is what a nine year old Wally had thought. At sixteen, Wally wouldn't really agree.
"Listen up children," Mrs Bens said in that loud but not screaming voice she had. It was nice to have another adult in his life that didn't scream.
He was getting tired of whenever he did something reckless like putting a glass into the wrong cupboard, only to find later that night his dad screaming at him at how wrong he was for doing that. Or when he didn't know how to do some task that had been told to him.
He looked at the blackboard in front of the class, where white bold letters had been written with chalk, 'Time capsule'.
"Today is a special day," she continued. She was taller than him at the time, and had dark hair with white strands starting to show. With the announcement she quieted the murmurs that had been going around.
"Today is the day this ," she said pointing toward a cylindrical tubelike thing on top of her desk. "Is going to be buried with each of yourselves with it."
"And we want you all to put a little something into this contraption to be dug up later in life." another adult in the room said, it was Mr Mahoney. Mr Mahoney was the student teacher that had been taken under Mrs Bens's wing to learn how to be a teacher. He was also kind, and not screamy, unlike his dad.
"So we ask of you to write a letter to your future selves," Mrs Bens continued off of Mr Mahoney's input, with a kind smile. "Write down how you are feeling, what is happening, what you wish to know about your future, even if they can't answer you directly, we ask you to do it anyway."
A hand shot up at the front of the class.
"Yes, Ms Turner?" the teacher said.
"Mrs, this will be private right?" the girl asked, a bit shy.
"Yes, you won't need to worry about us snooping in your letters," she answered, "This is for you and only you to know, and we respect that."
" And, " Mr Mahoney added, "It would be wrong of us to put in our own letters and not let anyone else snoop if that was the idea, oh yeah, we will write one too!" he said proudly. To Wally, Mr Mahoney had been such a good teacher, or a good student teacher, he was always kind to everyone, he always could fit with the energy of the most energetic student, which wasn't Wally, but close enough.
The murmurs started again, everyone seemed so excited over it. But all Wally could think of was if future Wally found a way for his dad to be kinder, gentler, maybe more loving. He wondered if his passion for science was still a thing, or if he ever would get that mini science kit he wanted from his Aunt for Christmas. All very normal questions if you asked Wally at the age of nine.
That day a letter had been written, much like every other letter written that day, before and after. It had been buried by the parking lot of the school, and a year had passed, and then another, and then another.
Wally had in due time forgotten about the time capsule and the letter.
Which led to him now, at sixteen years of age, with an email written to him on his phone, by his old school. The email said that there was a meet-up of all the kids that graduated elementary in 2006, to celebrate their class's capsule being unearthed.
Wally had been excited at the prospect, after all he had forgotten anything and everything the little nine year old Wally had written. He knew that his family life hadn't been the best, he remembered a lot of what had happened, but after everything that was happening with him at the time, with being in a constant stressful environment, meant that he didn't remember everything, some days seemed smushed together, some happy memories were forgotten.
So here he was in front of his old school's gates walking up to greet a familiar figure.
He had arrived, smiled at the person before him, much different yet not to what the the older woman had once known, he was now taller, still lanky but a little muscle from his kid-flashing, unbeknown to the woman. Mrs Bens and Mr Mahoney greeted all of them, Mr Mahoney's hair had started to get a bit gray, from the last time he had seen him which, wow , had been over seven years ago.
Mrs Bens however he had known until graduation day in the start of summer of 2006, he was eleven then, and only a birthday or two away from making the stupidest yet best decision of his life in recreating his uncle's experiment and becoming kid flash. She hadn't changed a bit, and still had the same salt and pepper hair, although a bit more salt, and was still happily wearing her wedding band.
"Oh Wally," she greeted him with that kind smile standing at the entrance of the school, "You've grown so much my dear, look at you! " She hugged him tightly.
"Hello to you Mrs Bens," he said as he awkwardly hugged her back, he was taller than her now, it was weird ok.
"How have you been, sweetheart?"
"Oh you know, a little bit of this, a little bit of that," He said as he let go of their embrace "I live with my uncle and aunt now." he mentioned, as nonchalant as he could, but it didn't seem like his voice agreed with that sentiment, and made it sound wet. Better to get to the point, he thought, because even if, to the untrained ear, it sounded like a normal question had been asked by Mrs Bens, Wally knew what that question really had entailed.
"Oh! That's great dear, I'm very happy for you." She said with some relief coming through her words, she squeezed his hands a bit in reassurance, like she had done many times before.
For all his time seeking refuge at school and at the library Mrs Bens had been an island of peace during his years in elementary, she knew but didn't really know Wally's situation; as a child he had been stubborn, and he still was to some degree maybe even more after puberty had hit him and speed powers had manifested, but he never outright told her what had happened to him back then.
She never knew the worst, but she knew enough to give some semblance of comfort back then, when he was a child looking for any and all adults familial love. She had cared for him, much like any other child in their class, she always went above and beyond, a hero of her own kind.
"Yeah, I can finally say that I am free," he said a bit more quietly, he gave a small wet laugh, even so, it was a happy one.
"Oh, sweetheart," she said again, seemingly getting a bit emotional too and moved to hug him again, a bit more tightly, "I am so very proud of you." she stated.
"Me too." he murmured back, Mrs Bens really was like a third mother to him.
First was forever his own mother, even for all her faults and unfortunate inability to protect him from his father.
Second was of course Aunt Iris, while not really his mother, but in spirit and heart, she couldn't be anything else to him. She had always been there for him, she had removed, with help of Barry, him from the home he once had, and made a new home, a better home, a safer home.
And third Mrs Bens, because Mrs Bens had been his island, Mrs Bens had been an ear, and a comforting squeeze of his hands.
They finally let go of their second hug, and Mrs Bens ushered him inside telling him to head to the school gymnasium where the other past classmates were. She had to welcome all the other teens arriving after all. With one last squeeze to his hands he left for the gymnasium.
There was the rest of the class, they had all gone to separate middle schools, they had all left each other rather teary eyed, some bawling, some hugging, in hindsight it wasn't the biggest change, to what it had felt to go from middle school to highschool. But for a child, it had meant so much to Wally, he had left an island, and had to build a new one. He needed to seek out another, and travel through the treacherous waters to get there.
It had gone well in the end though, seeing as Wally's middle school years were probably the most tumultuous yet grateful years of his life. The one's where he finally was free, the ones where a court case had been made, and had been won in favor of his Aunt and Uncle.
He was now standing among the crowd of teens assembled together, he was tapping his foot anxious and filled with all the endless speedster energy he had. He had met two of his classmates, the girl and the boy he had talked to before the capsule had been buried, the guy still had those rosy cheeks albeit not as round, and the girl still had that pretty gap tooth smile… which yet again was not important to what was happening.
They talked, reminiscing a little about their school days, when the principal appeared together with Mrs Bens and Mr Mahoney they all filed together, as good as a group of teenagers could form a file, which was a bit messy, and walked toward the parking lot.
At the parking lot, where they once had buried the cylindrical spheres, the Principal had his… a bit boring speech, although no one said it out loud, the other teens around him made impatient sounds. He couldn't blame them all, it was rather boring. The speech dragged on until Mrs Bens said something, which as Mrs Bens did, caught everyone's attention.
"Remember kids, whatever you have written, treat it with compassion, because compassion is important, especially for children." And well, if anything, that seemed like a quote Mrs Bens lived by, at least that is what she had shown all of them when they were smaller, and seemed to still treat them with.
Compassion.
Wally found his paper, his letter, he saw a sticker on it, a sticker of a lightning bolt, and he remembered that even back then, even then, he had liked The Flash and used that sticker. He could also see, although not fully the familiar nine year old Wally handwriting.
The group's former teachers had told them that, yes you could read them now, but you could also just take them home.
Which spurred the brilliant idea that Wally got, to read whatever wacky adventures and funny stuff in the company of his Team in Mount justice.
He gave a tight hug to Mrs Bens and a friendly fist bump to Mr Mahoney, as a goodbye, and waved them off as he headed toward the closest Zeta beam entrance.
"Look what I have!" Wally called out to the team, waving the letter in hand, as he had just come out of the Zeta beam entrance. They were all doing something in the open area of the room, M'gann and Conner where having a friendly dessert eating time by the kitchenette, Kaldur Artemis and Robin, which Wally honestly just called Dick in private, because that was his name, were having a sparring session of some sort, although not in the typical room. Maybe it was colder where they were now, or maybe it just had suddenly spurred without much thought to it.
"What? An acceptance letter to dork uni?" Artemis says, raising an eyebrow, bringing down her fists as the three sparring partners seemed to agree to take a break.
" No ," Wally responds, sounding indignant, "that's at least 2 years away," he continues, "No this , this is a letter from little Wally from seven years ago." he says rather proudly.
The small team gathered to the living room-esque area, to where he had promptly sat down on the room's sofa.
"Why would you have a letter from yourself from seven years ago? Is this some interesting earth custom I haven't learned yet?" M'gann says looking at Conner, as if he would have an answer, Conner only shrugged as they all sat down around Wally, Dick sat a bit off to the side of him, artie too but on the other side.
"No nothing like that Miss M," Dick says, "It's not anything we usually do."
"Rob's right, this my amazing martian friend, was exclusive to my school in elementary," Dick only looked at him with a blank stare in response, "Ok, maybe not that exclusive, some people do it, it's like you can look back at your younger self but not really, and uhm- it's a bit complicated, actually." he trails off, he doesn't really know how to explain it, but M'gann looks overjoyed, seemingly understanding what Wally was trying to say.
"Ohhhh," she gasps in fascination, "That sounds so fun!" she exclaims.
"Yeah, and my elementary school did it back when I was nine, and a week ago I got an email about the letters we had written being dug up again, the reunion was today." he says, waving the closed letter.
"So why aren't you there reading your letter?" Artemis says, confused.
"Because I thought it would be fun to read whatever my younger self had written, Artie " he says, the nickname sounded petulant on his tongue, probably because he was being petulant.
"Now, Now, Gather around children, let old Wally West tell you a story" Wally says as if he is impersonating an old man, Artemis gives a small 'Tch' and smacks him behind the head, lightly, Which Wally only gives a small little 'ow' in response, it wasn't hard after all, but it was an added effect.
"Let's see here, ' Dear Wally, or Me ', geeze I had terrible handwriting," he stops for a moment, looking at the chicken scratch.
"That isn't much of a surprise," Dick says, and he's only teasing, Wally knows this, so he rolls his eyes in response and sticks out his tongue in retaliation.
"Shut up, I'm reading here!" he says, and goes back to reading out loud
"' Dear Wally, or Me. I hope you got that present from Aunt Iris, I, or well we really wanted that toy chemistry set, did we get it? Was it fun? Or was it just boring? The magazine said it had some cool color changing chemical, and a whole set of instructions and explanations,' " he starts.
Oh.
He remembers, the Chemistry set Aunt Iris had gotten him was so big for his nine year old hands to hold, it had come with beakers, made out of actual glass . He remembered that he had kept it at her place, so that whenever he went over he was able to play with it, that way he didn't need to worry about his experiments getting disturbed by an angry dad, so that the glass beakers didn't have to break.
In hindsight younger Wally sure had weird priorities , he thought to himself.
He coughed a bit, clearing his throat, it started to feel a little dry…
"' Did you stay longer at Aunt Iris's place? I wish I could do that more, I miss her a lot when I'm not with her, Mom tells me that she is very busy with her work all the time so she couldn't possibly spend all her time with me, but if I could I would,'" he continues, and he hears M'gann coo a bit at how adorable younger Wally sounded, and well, he felt just a little embarrassed at that.
Wally then squinted his eyes at the next part, it had been scribbled over heavily with pencil. A new sentence starts after. "'Iris has a new boyfriend, he is, ok, I guess, I call him Mr Allen, I don't know how he is just yet, but Aunt Iris tells me he is kind if not a bit 'scatterbrained', she also taught me that word, it sounds funny.'"
And Wally mentally laughs at this, while he was originally not all that taken to Uncle Barry when he first met him, they soon after this, started to become closer, like a real uncle and nephew. Barry had soon understood, that Wally didn't have the best home life, and early on it had been awkward, Barry had been over to Iris's apartment while Wally had come over and stayed for the weekend, then the adult had seen the child's science kit and professed that he worked with science, Wally had at that very moment taken a liking to him, and started to understand why Iris had chosen him to be her boyfriend; maybe a month or so later Wally had gone up to Iris and whispered in her ear that, yes, he approved of their relationship, and that Barry was really nice, and to not letting his new uncle know of it though. She had promised him not to tell.
He continued to read, "' Mrs Bens gave me some extra cookies from the cafeteria for the last week, i feel like she probably knows… is it better?' " The question makes the other teens in the room raise an eyebrow except dick, because he already knew, of course he did, he was his best friend after all, they both knew everything about each other.
Ah, maybe it wouldn't continue that bad, so he just read the words in front of him not thinking before the words were out, " 'Does dad still hurt you? '" The words are almost wheezed out of him at the end. He snaps his mouth shut, he really didn't think this would happen so soon.
A hopeful part of him thought that that, or wished that maybe just maybe the letter would have been a good one, but really, with that his memory got so mixed during those years, how could he think that younger Wally wouldn't have written this.
Call him naive for hoping that younger Wally's humor and sincerity would have been the only thing written in a letter to himself, that should have been private.
But he spilled the beans, his inner child's most deep pain, by typical befuddlement and a mistake. He could feel himself regretting speaking, he could feel himself being stared at differently than before.
Not with the mirth and humor, from before.
" Oh, Wally " M'gann says, her voice says it all, she is sad, not sad at him, sad for him.
Conner on the other hand, stood up with sudden force, as if he was going to deal with whatever the nine year old Wally had written and what the current Wally had read.
"It wasn't The Flash," Dick said before anyone could say anything, before Conner could do something he might regret, " It. wasn't. The. Flash ," he says again more insistently. Ah, his best friend really came in a clutch for him when he needed it the most huh. He was now closer beside Wally on the sofa, holding onto his arm tight, as he looked to the others, he was telling them directly.
"Rob's right, Uncle Barry isn't my actual dad, I mean that's why I call him my Uncle ." He shrugs, "We aren't even related by blood, I only knew him through my aunt, but both of them are more family than my father " he said, and almost spits out the word father . Oh, he was kind of not dealing with this pretty great, he took a steady breath to calm himself again.
He didn't want to tell them this way, he wanted to tell them, but not like this.
"I- I don't want to read all of this out loud for you…I- I think, I think it's better to tell you, as who I am now," he stumbles with his words, stuttering. "Not as this nine year old who never knew what safe even meant but through passing places," he says and puts the paper down onto the table again. He feels bitter though, not bitter at his friends, not bitter at small little nine year old Wally, but feels bitter at the situation, he feels bitterness towards his dad.
"You don't need to if you don't want to, my friend," Kaldur says and his voice is kind and patient, his body language is open and calm, much different to how Conner's was when he brought up his dad within the letter. He couldn't blame Conner for that though, he would be that way to, maybe even a bit more reproachful, if anyone on the team would have been in the same situation in the same weird ass way of a letter written by their younger self.
"I want to, I- I've been meaning to, not because it is a must, but because I wanted to." he says with finality, and Kaldur only nods in understanding. Wally still felt nervous though, he was basically going to lay out a huge part of himself for everyone to know, or at least his closest friends and teammates to know, that was a big deal for him.
"Look so, here's the deal," he says and turns to everyone, "I don't want anyone to treat me differently ok? I am still the same person I was before this stupid letter was read, ok ?" he says, his voice insisting to be understood. The group only nods.
He breathes in and starts, "When I was a kid, or really most of my life I lived with my parents, and- and they weren't perfect, my, uh, my dad was kind of, not good." he stumbles, how the hell was he supposed to say this? How would he phrase this?
"He uhm, he would scream, and, and… hurt me," he looked away because it felt to daunting to actually look at his friends while saying this, "It would be for small or big stuff, like accidentally spilling something or anything really-"
"He just wanted an excuse," Conner murmured, breaking off what Wally was saying, his voice still angry, but Wally knows it's because he cares.
"Yes, exactly, there was never going to be anything I could do to… placate him," Wally says, looking back to Conner, making eye contact and holding it, he wanted his friend to know that he was ok, that everything was ok now, he wasn't there anymore, his friend didn't have to worry about it.
"And I- I" Wally stutters again, this is difficult , he thought, " Urgh , I don't know why I still get so emotional over this, man" he shakes his head as he brings the palm of his and to onto his forehead, but it really was more like on his eye, he out some slight pressure on it, "It was so long ago, but I- I never let it go I guess." he continued, he felt tense, he had so many emotions still, he was still angry about it, and sad, and, and so much more.
"Baywatch seriously," Artemis says, cutting off Wally's thoughts, "We won't judge you for having complex feelings over your dad, I mean, at least we can 'twin' about it now…" She awkwardly says, with an equally awkward smile; and well, to be honest Wally laughs at that, It's loud and brash, but Wally is relieved. He smiles at Artemis, his eyes are wet at the corners, but they are there out of relief.
"Thanks Artie." he says and he means it. If there was anyone who would know, although a bit different circumstances, it was Artemis. She had gone through so much with her dad being a villain and all, growing up to train to become a successor to him, he couldn't imagine how awful that was, well, maybe a little, some parts, but luckily not all.
"It's better now, right?" M'gann pipes up again, she still looks worried, her eyebrows are creased, and her lips are pursed in that way that makes M'gann just so M'gann.
"Yeah," he says, with a small smile, "It's much better now, I haven't actually lived with them since I was like thirteen," he continues, "I needed the distance, and I am safe now, away from them," he doesn't mention how hard it was to leave his mom though, how he had hugged her so fiercely during that last day, "My aunt and Uncle were able to have a court case and won, luckily, I don't think it would have ended well if they didn't win, I probably would have ended up staying here at Mount Justice."
"Batman would have let you," Dick says, looking determinedly at him.
"I know," he answers as he looks just as determined back at him, his hand is down from his face, both eyes open. For all his broodiness and scary persona, he knew that Batman or well Bruce cared, if there was anything, it was probably the most obvious thing about the man. "Plus, my Aunt and Uncle would have fought tooth and nail to at least get something out of the court case if they hadn't won, they're just good people like that."
Suddenly he feels another hand on the other side up his arm, and a second warmth is taking up space beside him. He sees Artemis, beside him, squeezing that before free arm as well.
"Oh I didn't know you were interested," he quips. Artemis bats lightly with her free hand over his shoulder.
"Don't even," she only says. He heeds her warning and doesn't say anything else that could come off as flirty, so he shuts up and only pouts a little in response.
He untensed a little and sighed, comforted by the squeezes at both of his arms, "That's all really, I- i don't much else to say, there isn't much else to say," he shrugs.
"And you don't have to," Kaldur says, "If that was all you wanted or needed to say, then we respect that," he continues.
"We're your friends" Conner still grumbles "Tell us when you need to tell us something," and while that wasn't the most eloquent of responses, it was said in the most teen way possible, laid with as much emotion as a 16 year old super-clone could, which was admittedly a lot.
He can feel M'gann send similar sentiments through their mental link, and that was all he really needed.
The letter was still at the table, open for anyone to see, he was going to read it on his own fully when he got home, because while it was hard to essentially meet your own past self through a letter written by a child who didn't really know how to process those things, he could now read it and know that it was his past, and that little nine year old Wally would have a bright and happy future ahead.
He felt lucky, he felt warm and safe, he felt welcome at Mount justice with his team.
He felt home .
End note:
Let's be honest here, it was only a matter of time that a wrote this kind of fic.
Also hihi, Some slight Spitfire flirtyness, BUT ALSO THEIR FRIENDSHIPPPPPP IS SO IMPORTANT TO MEEEE, WALLY AND DICK'S FRIENDSHIP IS ALSO SO IMPORTANT TO MEEEE. I do like Birdflash too but, this was purely deep platonicness that I meant for them in this fic, really close friendships are so important.
I don't know why the interaction between Mrs Bens and Wally made me emotional, BUT THEY MADE ME EMOTIONAL. Let Wally have good parental figures 2023.( He already does but i gave him more)
I hope it wasn't too choppy! Now excuse me because I have to go back to working on an unfinished illustration that has a deadline! (procrastination!)
I hope you enjoyed this!
Write a review if you feel like it, they're always welcome!