Tom narrowly opens his eyes, stimulated from the sound of someone calling his name. In his blurred vision, he makes out what some small brown paws standing directly in front of him.
"Tom, please get up! You've been laying there for hours and I'm getting worried!" Tom forced his stick neck upward, to find Jerry's face staring down at him concerned. Tom sluggishly pulls himself up to his feet from his vomit puddle, which seems to have dried from age. Tom steadies his feet before rubbing his eyes, coming back to his senses. Tom looks over at Jerry, noticing a weird mark on his cheeks. Just a slight stain in the shape of supposedly lips. Tom takes a step forward, sniffing the eevee to Jerry's surprise.
"Hey, what are you-"
"Jerry where were you last night? You weren't with that WENCH stunky were you?" Tom glared at Jerry.
"Erm, well, uh…" Jerry stuttered.
"I KNEW it! That's DISGUSTING Jerry. I've told you countless times, stay away from their kind! I can SMELL her on you." Tom's face showed genuine repulsion.
"They're not that bad, Tom. You can't just hate toxic Pokémon because they're toxic."
"They STINKY and they SMELL bad and they're making everything disgusting and should not exist."
"That point of view isn't even remotely fair, nor does it make sense Tom."
"Whatever, just don't let me catch you with her again, or any of them for that matter."
The two sit in silence for a short while, Tom cleaning himself off in the ocean water from his little accident last night.
"Guess we should probably, like, do our jobs today, huh? See what sort of missions they got going around here. Can't be anything too crazy considering how small the town is."
"For sure! I hope someone's in danger, I love rescue missions!" Jerry said with excitement. Once Tom was finished cleaning himself, they both made their way back to the Guild building, where they figured the mission board would be.
As soon as they popped their heads through the big double doors, the snom looked over, and let out a long, purposefully audible sigh.
"Ooooo, it's you two again. You have fun yesterday, Jerry?" Jerry looked the other slightly flustered, ignoring the snom's comment.
"Hey 'Land', mind showing us where your guys' mission board is?"
"Actually we keep one of those over in the tavern, not here, 'Thomas'. More people crowd around there anyways so we figured it was better."
Tom kicked Jerry in the hind leg again.
"Owwwwww! Stop that!" Jerry whined.
"You first."
Without another word, Tom turned and exited the guild, uncaring if Jerry was following or not. The pair eventually arrived at the stairs leading down into the tavern across town, stopping at the top of them.
"I was here last night actually, that's how I ended up completely smashed on the beach." Tom expositioned to Jerry.
"How, though? They don't sell monster here do they? Not like anything else will have that effect on you."
"The kind leafeon at the counter gave me his." Tom chirped.
Tom begun to make his way down the stairs, getting halfway down before a brown ball of fur flew past him tumbling down the stairs. The ball crashed into the ground below, sprawling out and revealing itself to be Jerry, who'd fallen down the stairs. His expression dizzied as he laid there, the Pokémon inside all looking over at him. A singular vulpix notice Tom standing at the top of the stairs, and fled to the bathroom in terror.
"Holy shit, Jerry? Are you alright?" Tom rushed down to Jerry's side, standing over him and looking at his face. Jerry suddenly popped up to his feet near instantly.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
Tom stared with a blank expression.
"Hey look, there's the mission board!" Jerry pointed out.
Everyone returned to their business as usual, proceeding to ignore the two as they walked over to the mission board at the far side of the tavern. They stared it down, reading through each of the pinned sheets, until Jerry planted his paw onto one near the bottom.
"Hey, why not this one? It's a rescue mission…"
Tom looked over, and begun to read it aloud.
"'Help, I'm just a completely defenseless little pikachu stuck in this big bad cave over at Shitstain Peak. Someone come save me!'" Tom squinted his eyes, obviously completely uninterested in the obviously fake mission posted on the board. He turned his head to Jerry, who was staring at him with puppy dog eyes. Tom groaned heavily.
"Fiiiine we can do the stupid fake rescue mission."
"They need help!"
"Oh yeah I'm sure they do. I'm gonna go ask the leafeon bartender if he knows where Shitstain Peak is." Tom snorted at the name. Tom made his way over to the counter while Jerry happily followed. They both sat on stools in front of the counter, and Tom patiently waited for the leafeon to be done so he could talk to him. He noticed the team waiting on the stools and approached them.
"Back so soon already, mister? Who's this fella?" the leafeon said, eyeing Jerry.
"Hi! I'm Jerry!"
"Well nice to meet you Jerry. Are you sure you're old enough to be hanging around in here?"
"He's old enough." Tom interrupted. "I'm just here to ask if you know where I can find, uh, 'Shitstain Peak'? Is that really a real place?" Tom struggled to hold back his amusement of the name.
"For sure it is! That's actually not too far, just south of Richardville. All you gotta do is follow the trail! You're not going in regards to that ol' note on the board are you?"
"Well, uh, we are. I know the note is… stupid."
"I've wanted to talk it down but the folk at the guild growl at me and say not to touch it. Either way, your doin' it will at least give them an excuse to get rid of it."
"Yeah, at least it pays nice. The price is probably an incentive to get idiots to go into the obvious trap though. Either way, thanks for the directions. We'll be going now."
"Have a good one!"
Tom ushers Jerry to come. Jerry was paying no attention, as he was staring a braixen and gardevoir seated at a table across the tavern.
"Jerry, come ON." Tom tugged on Jerry's tail.
"Huh? What? Oh, sorry." The leafeon snickered as the two exited up the staircase.
They made their way through the town, gandering at the passerby as they conduct their daily business. Eventually, they reach the outskirts, Tom stopping at the edge of town realizing.
"Wait, which ways south?"
"What?"
"I don't know which ways south."
Tom looked at Jerry expectantly.
"Why would I know? You were the one leading the way!"
"Jesus christ. Wait here." Tom sighed turning around back to town. Jerry walks to the side of the road and lays down, waiting for Tom's return.
After what seemed like forever, Tom returned to Jerry's side, nudging him awake his his paw. The sun was already high up directly above them. Jerry yawned, before climbing to his feet.
"So, which ways south?"
"Some guy told me the sun sets in the west, so south is left of that." The two look up to check the sun's position, only to find it's dead center above them.
"Um, which way did the sun come from?" Jerry asks. Tom responds with a scream of frustration.
After waiting around for around 30 minutes for the sun to move, they check up one more time and are finally able to tell which way it was headed.
"Wait, that's the other way…" Jerry and Tom both let out a sigh in unison, dragging themselves in the opposite direction through town again. Eventually, they're along their originally intended dirt path and on their way to Shitstain Peak. The two walk along it for a while, Jerry singing his heart out the whole time.
"Wait, is that the cave?" Tom points out.
"I dunno."
"Gee, thanks, Jerry. You're the one who wanted to do this. Didn't the sheet have some sort of description or something?"
"Nope! Just said 'a cave'."
"Man that's helpful. They're really bad at getting people to fall for their trap."
"Trap? Do you mean the trap that helpless pikachu might be in?"
"Shut up Jerry. Either way, this is the first cave we've seen so it's probably the one. C'mon." Tom drags Jerry through the large cave entrance. The two trot along through until the sunlight from outside isn't enough to see through. Tom elongates his curled tail forward, his tail star shining a bright blue color which illuminates the cave in front of them.
"Hehe, you have a funny tail." Jerry snickers.
"It's a glameow tail." The shinx responds.
"Oooo is your mom or dad the glameow?"
"Ehhh.. neither? It's complicated."
"Oh my god, were one of them a purugly? Are you part purugly? You're such a shinxugly, you know that?"
"They're not a purugly, I don't think. I can't really remember."
"Oh come on, you're not THAT old."
The two were interrupted by a violent shake of the walls and floor. Everything began trembling and debris started to fall around them.
"God DAMMIT we're in a mystery dungeon. I didn't even think about that."
"What the hecks a mystery dungeon?"
Before Tom had time to respond, the walls behind them began to shift, blocking the way in which they came. Tom cursed at himself, grabbed Jerry and made a break for it trying to avoid the falling rocks. Unfortunately, Tom was unable to hold on to Jerry. A large boulder had fallen from a large space above them, separating the two. Tom watched back in horror while several more rocks fell into the space Jerry had been trapped in, large clouds of dust building up as they all crashed down, before all of it settled and the walls and floor stopped moving.
"Jerry, are you alright?!"
No response.
Tom decided his best course of action would be to just leave the cave, as he had a hunch. He crawled through the big open cave searching for an exit, finding nothing of note along the way. Not a single Pokémon, not a single helpless pikachu. He began to question if the poster of the mission had ever even set any sort of trap, or if it was just a prank to waste some idiots time.
"God dammit I'm the idiot in this situation."
Not too long after, he found himself walking down another large tunnel like the one they arrived in, and soon spotting sunlight at the end. He broke into a sprint as soon as he saw it, running out to find Jerry standing idly, staring off into nothingness.
"Jerry, holy shit, I thought you were dead!"
"Huh? Oh, hi Tom!"
"Jerry what are you doing standing out here? How'd you get out?"
"Huh? Oh, I don't really know… we were in that cave together?"
"Mhm, I thought you got crushed by a bunch of boulders."
"Oh. Well, I did perform an infinite lives glitch last night…"
Tom staring for a moment, before kicking Jerry in his hind leg after realizing he was referring to the stunky.
"OWWW. STOP THAT."
"No."
"So, did you find the pikachu in there?"
Upon hearing this, Tom realized that was the whole point of them being there. He thought for a moment, before deciding.
"The pikachu was dead."
"WHAT"
"Yeah, sorry to inform you. Let's go report to the guild so we can claim our money."
The two head back down the road they came from, the sun setting now. They make their ways back through the big heavy double doors and into the guild, the snom awaiting their arrival.
"Man, doesn't anyone else work here? Is it really just you and the stinky here?" Tom says.
"Excuse me? It's STUNKY, thank you, and no it's just us. It's a small town running small time missions. There's no need for anyone else here."
"Well are you who we report the missions back to?"
"Mhm"
As the two talk, Jerry occupies himself by sneaking a peak through the door leading into the hallway, the stunky's office being a straight shot beyond. She had left her door open and Jerry sat there, spying.
"Well we took the mission with the stupid pikachu, but when we got there the pikachu was dead. Killed in the mystery dungeon presumably. So, what now?"
"Do you have proof of their death?"
"Proof? What kind of proof? Did you want me to carve off his arm and take it with me?"
"You could've just taken a photo."
"Assuming I had a camera, which I didn't."
"Not my fault you came into this line of work unprepared. No proof, no payment." The snom turned away, occupying himself with his paperwork.
"Are you kidding me? We went through all that effort for nothing? The pikachu's DEAD. I'm not gonna try to find him in the mystery dungeon again, that'll take forever. As far as I know the corpse will be gone!"
"Too bad." The snom paid no more attention to the shinx.
"Jerry, hey, we're leaving. Jerry. Jerr-, dude what are you doing?"
Jerry suddenly slammed the door he was peaking through, and looked back at Tom flustered.
"Nothing! Teehee."
Tom scowls, exiting the building alongside Jerry.
"So where are we sleeping tonight?" Jerry asks. "We have enough to go rent a room at the inn or one of the huts."
"Euuuugh, sleeping in a ROOM."
"Oh come on, Tom, I wanna sleep in a bed."
"I DON'T"
"I don't wanna sleep alone though…" Jerry whined.
"Where did you sleep last night?"
"...not alone."
"Oh, yeah. Right. I GUESS I'll sleep in a… building… HURGH."
The two arrive in the inn, and rented a room for the night with the remainder of their funds. They both settle into their room, laying in the same bed. Jerry leaned over and pulled the string on the lamp, shrouding the room in darkness as they both fell into slumber.