First time using the AI grammar tool on this website. It has some small problems, but why haven't I ever seen it? Holy spelling check, praise our slightly retarded AI Gods.
What was the iconic phrase? Never meet your heros? I'll add on that living the dream come true of living a new life is rather shit starting out.
I've already had fun sorting out two life's of memories. I'm not repeating all of that again if I can help it. I, Furutani Tatsuo, will rise to live a life of comfort in this fucked up world!
Thankfully I do have some helpful equipment and skills that'll help me out. The bulk of my useful knowledge comes from my very diligent parents. Second to third place average student at Arasaka technical school is well within the top percentages of the worlds scores.
That was one of the very few things my parents were proud of before their passing. One of my memories wants to rage at how lacking my parents were. My better half coldly thanks them for the warm roof and occasional real food. Oh, can't forget about the ring.
Can't believe my parents threw away their lives and left me in crippling debt for corporate espionage. I wore this damn ring for three years without even knowing about the treasure trove of knowledge in the bastard.
I have to stop myself from going into another angry rant. It's not the time to get lost in thought. It's show time!
My power armored boot kicks down the door to the local drug lab. My aim is on a swivel as I clear the room. I'll need to pay someone for practical training on clearing before I'm truly comfortable with my combat awareness.
Only one pasted out druggy on the first floor that's quickly subdued. The rest of the drug lab turns out to only have a small amount of loose money and unimportant chemicals left behind.
Damn, I was hoping to loot the place. Did they find out about me scouting them out? Easy money for me then. Pulling up my agent I pull up the apartment owner. He starts to yell about the time before I cut him off.
"The place is ready whenever you are. Make sure the second half is transferred over within the next one to three business days."
"Already? Hmm. If the place isn't too bad off I might have more work lined up for you. This will hopefully be the start-"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Before the laugh even finishes he's already cut the call. Looking at the source of the laugh makes me notice the rundown fun house across the street. Looks like I found Gothams most wanted entertainer.
My agent makes two different accounts with my input. Both Wanevid and Lecstube livestream my heavy steps into the abandoned fun house.
" Ah! You usually don't- your not Batman?"
Five of his clowns start to shot at me with a assortment of small arms. Trusting in my armor lets me power walk up to the Joker and put a slowly tightening hand on his shoulder.
" What? Wait, wait just a minute. Batman, Batman! Any min-"
My other hand locks firmly on his head before I pull. Flesh and muscles tear as I pull him apart. Only a slight pain filled yell rings out before he bleeds out. Another tug rips his head free.
Looking back at the clowns shows they have a survival instinct and fled. Turning back to the head lets me scan it fully. Full face scan and dental records check out. Kinda funny how well his teeth are maintained. You'd think a deranged psychopath wouldn't think too much about dental health.
" Do you have any idea what you've done! This-"
" I just made twenty five billion dollars and counting from angry loved ones that this bastard left broken. The fact he hasn't been killed by some pissed orphan is damn near a statistical miracle."
Gotta say, I'm only slightly worried for bones. I'll need to chrome the fuck up if I want a chance in hell at winning against just one of the bat family. Maybe a ton or two before I can take on all of them at the same time.
Batman gives a single glare at the other bats before stepping forward. He's a lot less scary when he has to play mother hen.
"If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the room remains the same. There's no telling the chaos this will cause! You'll be brought to justice!"
A sickening wet pop rings out as I crush the meat in my hand. Less chance of having this bastard come back as a brain in a jar or some other bullshit.
The bat family gets into fights poses before rushing forward. Another wet slap rings out as I drop the now useless meat onto the dirty floor.
Both of my hands raise as they near. Before they can get too close I put my palms facing them.
" I'm more than willing to face 'Justice' without a fight. That should be the police right over there."
Seems like texting them about the Joker had them arriving faster than a random drug den. Hopping out of the power armor has the bat family jump back at the noisy clicking of the opening procedure.
I'll find out real quick about Bethesda's interdimensional legal team if it does exist. Their design for power armor leaves much to desire. They're decently cheap and easy to make though.
"How's it going boy's? It's a damn good day for me. I'm finally a billionaire! Let's go on to the station and get everything sorted out. Oh, could you guys make sure not to lose my armor. I'm thinking of putting it up on display."
Batdad stomps forward with a furious frown on his cloaked face. Looks like the others bats don't know what to do but stand there.
" Do you think this is a game! What you've done-"
My gaze turns over to the advancing police officers. I give them a slight wave with a growing smile on my face.
" I've got full video recording, facial scans, and dental records on the clown. You guys can scoop up what's left of him right here. Now let's go! The sooner we get done here the sooner I can party!"
There's no more pointless drivel beyond that. It's a quick ride to the jail house. Not even five minutes pass after filling out all of the paperwork and getting put into my cell before one of the police tell me I have a caller.
The man on the other end has a very distinct voice that I can't quite place.
"If only you made that annoying clown suffer more before ending his pitiful life. Ba, the simple fact you did it right under Batmans nose more than makes up for it."
He takes a few seconds to chuckle before continuing in that strangely familiar voice.
"I'll be paying your bail in full and providing a lawyer for any legal problems they'll throw at you. Here in thirty minutes one of my employees will arrive to take you wherever you want. If you wish a highend luxury penthouse will be available for the next three months free of charge. For now I'll let you bask in the victory of your accomplishment."
Did that fucker hang up before even saying his name? How many deep voiced rich assholes are there in DC? Too many to count. It's also a problem that my other half's memory doesn't cover much of the frankly absurd universe.
True enough thirty minutes past on the dot on my agents clock before my driver is here. Truly a well oiled revolving door here.
My driver isn't the talking type. Just a simple grunt when I tell him I'll happily want to use the penthouse.
The entire top floor is the penthouse. This damn floor is bigger than both houses I've lived in combined. Just this derpy looking couch I'm sitting on is property worth ten times both lives made in their lives.
White, there's just so much damn white everywhere in here. So much space just wasted with pointless modern art and other space wasters.
I'm rather careful getting up off the couch. There's no need to pay for damages even if I'm swimming in money. No what all is in the fridge?
Nice, I've only had a sixty dollars wine before that had some weird ass name. Popping off the cork lets me smell the fancy wine. Huh, maybe it just tastes better? It pretty much smells the same as the cheap shit.
Who knew expensive wine basically taste the same as the normal wash. I guess rich fuckers just drink it to flex on others. My wine gets forgotten as the news finally start to show commissioner Gordon. He goes on about how this is the wrong step forward. It's not long before I flip it onto another channel.
"I've been expecting you."
My drink is bitter on my tongue as I take another drink. That'll be the fourth time I've said that since I sat down. Looks like they're not here yet. My money is still on batdad getting here first. Though I wouldn't mind seeing Batgirls spandex clad ass. Wait... how old was she again?
Fear is a perfectly normal response to seeing something move in your peripheral vision. So my slight neck jerk is perfectly reasonable. Looks like I won't be saying it a fifth time.
"Tatsuo Furutani, poorly made fake ID that barely holds up under scrutiny. If only that was the only mystery. No blood work done for any database for a DNA match. No dental records to speak of. The only record of your existence are the legal documents to start up a mercenary company of which you're the only member."
His marching back and forth would be a lot more scary if I didn't know he wouldn't get physical without good reason. A lot of his scare factor is stripped when your riding the line of legality.
"Nova, I have a crazy stalker that wears eyeliner and spandex. Now the question is if I need to call the police about a violent furry unlawfully breaking a entering."
The caped crusader towers over my five two frame as he growls at me. He has to be fucking with me. His cap gets thrown back as he furiously stomps to the window that wasn't open last I checked.
"You've just done something that can't be taken back. When you've slipped on your bloody bath, I'll be there."
With those parting words he zips on away. How in the fuck does that work? A hand held grappling device that can be both compact enough and strong enough to lift a full grown man and tactical bulletproof gear with just rip your wrist out of socket. Maybe heavily reinforcement on the wrist, arms, shoulders?
Fucker gots a lot of fun toys. It must be nice being old money. I'll just have to claw my way into the easy life with my two hands, some elbow grease, and a can kill attitude.
Now since the fun has pasted I can focus on what I've been dreading. Good old legal work. No paper required! How bad could the laws be about starting a new business around here? Compared to the shit hole that is cyberpunk it should be a piece of cake.