Dinner was brought to me. I ignored half of it until I was ready to go to sleep, then had to force it all down at once. It was easiest to just put my face to the plate and eat like a cat. I got blankets to sleep on top of but not a blanket to sleep under, since it would fall off of me. And when I finally lay in the dark, my thoughts unoccupied, I noticed how my clothes were trying to escape from me, too. I arose, letting my blankets fall. I grabbed Hermit Murray's old satchel, opened the door, and slipped out to change into my old clothes.

The next morning, Sepulchure found me working as furiously as I could. "How is your plan coming along?" he asked.

I erased another line of little importance. "Pretty well. This would be a lot easier on a computer, but I'm making it work."

"Interesting clothes you have on."

"They're the clothes I was wearing when I woke up in this world. They obey the same gravity as I do. You'd be surprised how annoying it is to have clothes that are constantly being pulled horizontal."

"I have worn heavy armor," he said. "I was keenly aware of its weight. I have no trouble imagining that weight being pulled in another direction."

I winced. "It's not that bad. But I'm a little more comfortable this way."

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. (That's right, his name was Amadeus.) "I didn't come here for idle chatter. I came here to let you know exactly what is at stake." He proceeded to tell me all about a Doom bomb that Akanthus had him work on, how Akanthus attacked him, forcing him to flee, how he took refuge with Warlic. "Akanthus is willing to kill large numbers of people in pursuit of his plans, and he was able to manipulate even me into helping him. I once…was like him. The whole kingdom quaked at the sound of my name. Who else but I could have stood up to him? I should have. But I couldn't. That means he is a greater danger to the world than I was, and I was a living personification of Doom."

"He scares you," I dared to say.

"He should scare you. He should scare Warlic. But the two of you, my best hopes at taking him down, are too preoccupied with your own neuroses. I don't know if he planned this far ahead when he chose Jaania as his human shield, but she is the best one he could possibly have picked."

I tightened my grip on my papers. The plans written there looked like childish fantasies again. Was he right? Should I forget about her and focus on Akanthus? But how could I possibly forget about her? I wrestled with questions of what I should do and what I could do, neither of which had clear answers.

"I will let you take one shot at changing her mind," Sepulch - Amadeus said. "If it doesn't work, we move on Akanthus." I nodded. He walked away.

.

We sat in a circle in the clear grass just outside the doorway. I expected some people to be missing, now that I had proved myself to be annoying rather than entertaining. But nobody was. Even Gravelynn was there. I stared down at the grass, hoping my voice would work. "So, what's the plan for Jaania?" Nythera asked.

My instinct was to take everything I had written and leave three-quarters of it unsaid so that we could all move on from the humiliating waste of time that was my best attempt to change a person's mind. I didn't know what I was talking about. My plans would never survive contact with a real person who had real feelings. I was a daydreamer. What was I doing, trying to interact with the real world? I didn't belong there.

A large, solid presence sat next to me. I looked up. It was Cysero. He didn't say anything, but his presence was a relief. I took a deep breath and sat up straighter. "The basic idea is simple. She trusts Akanthus. So we need to make her not trust him. I know what I would want if I was in his shoes, and it's different from what I've heard she wants. If their goals don't match up, it would be easy for her to entertain the possibility that he might betray her."

"Akanthus has taken unauthorized actions that contradicted her stated goals before," Se - Amadeus said. "Yet she continues to trust him. His hold over her is too strong to be broken so easily."

My mind filled with ideas. I looked straight down at my papers. Stick to the plan. I had to stick to the plan. "W-well, unauthorized actions could be excused as taking the initiative and failing. That's not enough to convince her that their ultimate goals are different. If we can convince her of that -"

"She won't listen to anything we have to say anyway," Sepul - Amadeus said. "I get the feeling she would rather cut her own foot off than take Warlic's word."

"That, I have detailed plans for," I said, moving to another page. "The execution of my idea is the hard part." I held the papers up to my face, pretending to study them very hard. In reality, I was hiding from prying eyes the note I had written to myself. It said, Ask about past relationships. I took a pencil and erased it as I asked, "What is the primary obstacle to her listening to us? You say she has a problem with Warlic?"

"We have a painful history together," Warlic said.

"Painful! Okay! That, I have some idea how to handle." I pretended to fill in gaps in notes that were already complete. "In order to convince a person of a thing, they have to associate your message with good feelings. So in order to convince her, we need something good. We also need to avoid anything bad. So, Warlic, if you have a painful history with her, then that means the sight or sound of you causes her pain. So you should not talk. You'll have to be there to bombard me with fireballs, but otherwise try to minimize your presence."

"What?!"

"I'm planning to get her attention by recreating the event that made her trust Akanthus in the first place. But that part's for later. Don't interrupt. Anyway…" Thank every god there was for Cysero and his wonderful idea! I could feel my thoughts lifting up into a sandstorm as I searched for the next part of my script. When I found it, they settled down again. I clung to my written words like a stranded sailor clings to their boat. "Amadeus, how about you? Does she like or dislike you?"

"She trusts me," Amadeus said, sounding thoughtful. "I shall do all the speaking then."

"Yup! Now, uh, here's the part where I hope someone else has an idea. We need something pleasant to make our idea sound enticing. I have no idea what she likes. Any suggestions?"

Dead silence. I looked around the group, and saw everybody else doing the same. That was not a good sign.

"From her viewpoint, she has nothing to gain and everything to risk by changing her course now," Warlic muttered.

S - Amadeus sighed. "As much as I hate to admit it… She isn't wrong." He shifted. "Trying to convince her to change her mind will not work. We must focus on Akanthus. That is the only way to stop him."

"Perhaps…" Warlic murmured. "Perhaps we can convince the queen to cut off the Rose's resources?"

My gut sank. Even Warlic was giving up on her? As they moved on to discuss what could be done about Akanthus directly, I clutched my papers to my stomach and tried not to cry. I remembered Jaania as she had been in her student days. I remembered how my head had filled with ideas for how the tragedy could have been prevented, how she and Alex and Warlic could have been saved. I still wanted that. The tragedy, caused by needless misunderstandings, was an example of everything I stood against. I couldn't let her be lost. I couldn't let lies win.

"We must move immediately," Sep - Amadeus declared. "They could leave at any time. Once they do, I can't think of a single way to stop them that doesn't endanger all of Lore."

"Let's not frighten Her Majesty and her retinue by teleporting into the castle," Warlic suggested. "In order to get her full support, we ought to go through proper channels."

"We shall enter the city under disguise and present ourselves as petitioners, then." Amadeus turned to everyone else. "Warlic and I shall go alone. Alex, your presence would not be useful. Nythera, Warlic is powerful enough. Having you with us in addition would be taken as a threat. Gravy, I understand and support your desire for revenge. But I can't let any harm come to you, and Akanthus would not spare you just because you're a child. You must stay here."

"Because staying alive is the first step to getting revenge," Gravelynn said. "I know." She slumped.

"What about Ama?" Nythera asked.

"I'm going."

Sep - Amadeus turned to me. "No, you're not. You have no defense against Akanthus."

"I'm going," I repeated.

"Ama -"

"I said I'm going!" As my cry echoed away into the woods, I took a shaky breath and leaned into my anger. "I'm going to see Jaania. I can't do nothing."

"But your plan has a gaping flaw in it," Warlic said.

"I have to do something." My plan was not going to work. I was not going to change her mind. But I had to speak to her at least once, or else loathe myself forever. I had no choice.

"Jaania and Akanthus will likely be found together," Warlic told Amadeus.

Se - Amadeus huffed. "Fine. If the defenseless child who can't heal wants to fight the man who nearly killed me, she has the right to."

"Ama, are you sure you want to do this?"

I summoned all my strength and looked Warlic in the eye. I didn't say anything. Neither did he. He looked away. "Amadeus and I will teleport to just outside Swordhaven. Nythera, please fly her there."

"If you insist," she muttered. I gulped.

"Good luck, kid," Alex said to me. He sounded sad. "She's changed a lot. She doesn't even care about love anymore. Good luck finding a carrot."

Gravelynn stood up. I was still sitting, so she came over and looked down at me. "Don't die," she said. She sounded like a princess. I nodded.

.

Warlic closed his eyes and concentrated. After a few seconds, he and Amadeus vanished. Alex led Gravelynn inside. Cysero took off running. That left me and Nythera standing at the base of the tower. She gave me time to change into my farmer's clothes. I put my old clothes in the satchel and wore the satchel around my neck. I went into the tower and got my knives too, just in case. I left my script on top of my blankets and wondered if I should bring Emerson the dancing sandwich. Who knew what could happen? I slid him into the satchel and hoped he had enough room in there to dance. I gave my hair a quick comb. Then I returned to Nythera and pronounced myself ready. She circled around behind me, making my back freeze up. "Arms out." She stuck her arms under my armpits, wrapped her hands around my chest and flew up into the air.

My whole body promptly freaked out. I shook so badly that I must have seemed like I was trying to make her drop me. Every muscle tensed. My breath froze in my chest. As I watched trees pass underneath with nothing between me and them, I was too terrified to scream.

Nythera eventually landed. I hyperventilated, shaking all over. "Scared of heights?" she asked. I nodded. She gave me a minute to get over it. Then she explained, "There's a Rose checkpoint up ahead. I can't use magic to hide you, so we have to go through it the normal way. I'll disguise myself so that we look like traveling sisters."

I glanced down at the satchel. It might have been a bad idea to bring Emerson. Thankfully his dance wasn't visible outside the satchel. "Are they going to search our belongings?"

"Not if we don't give them a reason to."

"Good."

She and I walked along the road. As the Rose checkpoint came into view, I smiled. I had the best cover story in mind. The soldiers on guard sent us to an office, where another soldier waited with a clipboard. "Destination?" he asked.

"Swordhaven," Nythera said.

"Purpose?"

I burst out grinning. "We're going to visit my boyfriend!"

"Oh?" Another soldier, a woman, leaned forward.

I nodded. "He's so interesting! He's very smart, and looks at everything in such a thoughtful way. And his voice is just - Listening to him is like lying in a boat and lazily drifting downriver in the sunlight. He could read an ingredients list and make it sound like a lullaby. He's just so gentle and sweet, and…" I let myself squee inarticulately.

The lady soldier covered her mouth and laughed. "Oh, that's adorable! I can see why you want your sister to meet him. Have a good time!"

The soldier that was writing down our information cleared his throat. "It's my job to wave them through, Cylia. But yes. You two are free to go."

I grinned and waved. "Thank you!"

Once we were on the road and out of hearing range, Nythera whispered, "Wow. I never would have expected you to have acting talent."

"I don't. We are going to meet up with Warlic, and he is everything I said he was."

"...Warlic? Really? Do you have any idea how old he is?"

"Old enough that I don't know what timescale I should be using," I replied. "I don't care. He's pretty." Nythera groaned. My good mood slipped. "Hey, can I ask you… And I want an honest opinion here… Am I annoying?"

"I don't know what to make of you," she replied. "You volunteer to be a guinea pig, immediately have a crying episode, then babble about inane topics like it never happened. You're a shrinking violet when Amadeus says a bad word to you one day, but the next day you're not. You're too unpredictable for me to make any sense of."

"Heh, now you know how I feel about most people," I replied. "Cysero makes perfect sense to me, but Amadeus and Alex are hard to understand. They don't react as I predict they should." She snorted. We walked along in silence for a while. Then it occurred to me, "So if the way you feel about me is the way I feel about normal people my age, then I'm boring but useful at best and really irritating at worst. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be."

"Boring but useful at best?"

"I only just now realized how that sounded. I swear I don't think that way about you."

The walls of Swordhaven came into sight in the distance. Behind a bend in the road that shielded them from view, we found Warlic and Amadeus waiting for us. "Now's the part where I cloak myself and fly back," Nythera said. "Good luck. Try not to get killed." She sprouted glowing dragon wings and took off.

"I have a dancing sandwich in my satchel," I told them. "Is that gonna be a problem?"

"When I left, screening for magic was not a routine procedure around Swordhaven," Amadeus said. "You should be alright. But why did you bring it?"

"You never know what might happen. So, do you guys have your disguises on?"

"Not yet," Amadeus said while taking out and opening his diary. "Warlic wanted to wait for you."

"I will go and disguise myself now," Warlic said. He left. I sat down on the ground near Amadeus and did not disturb him. He might have been writing one last entry for Gravelynn in case he didn't come back. While he did that, I studied him. I associated the diary with any identity of his other than Sepulchure. Although he looked the same to me, it was easier to think of him as Amadeus. I was getting used to him.

Soon, Warlic announced he was ready. Amadeus closed his diary and muttered, "What sort of disguise would the Great Blue Mage…?" Then he looked up. Warlic smiled back at him. Amadeus sighed.

"What's his disguise?" I asked.

"An old man with a big bushy beard, blue robes and a wooden staff."

I burst out laughing. "Warlic, you big silly! We're going into a city full of people who hate magic! You can't disguise yourself as a mage. Go as an old farmer or something."

"You heard her," Amadeus said, audibly smirking. "Big silly."

"...How is this disguise?" Warlic sounded mad.

"Better." To me, Amadeus said, "He looks like an old, bent, thin farmer now."

"And you?"

Amadeus took a second to disguise himself. "A dark-haired, strong young farmer's lad."

"Awesome!" I said. "Come on, big bro. We've had a long enough rest. Just a little further and we can get Grampa the treatment he needs."

"I was just thinking the same, little sis."

"Grampa?!"

We walked up to the gate. The Rose soldier on our left asked us to halt. "State your name and business in the city."

"Josiah and Josephine Fairhill, of Fairhill Farms. As you can see, our grandfather Warren's not doing well," Amadeus said. "He was injured by a magical blast some time ago, and it's not healing. We've come seeking treatment from the Rose."

Warlic groaned and said, "Ooh, me head. I still see spots sometimes, after all these weeks." His accent was… Let's just say I fought not to cringe. I held his hand as if offering support.

"Your sister doesn't look like much of an escort," the knight on our right said.

I giggled at him in my most unhinged way and pulled a knife from my hip. "Everybody thinks that. They're wrong." Thank goodness I thought to bring the knives with me!

"Her mad giggle is part of her fearsomeness," Amadeus said. "I assure you she's perfectly reasonable."

I put the knife back. "Well, of course. He just… He asked." I indicated the knight.

"Mhm," the Rose soldier said. "Alright. Go on. You'll be looking for the Ivory Tower for treatment. East side of the city, can't miss it." He waved us through.

"Worst accent ever," I whispered when we were inside the city. "You've never interacted with anybody except as the expert that they're seeking help from, have you? Practically a hermit. It shows. Let me and Amadeus do all the talking."

"Ease up on the poor man," Amadeus said, smiling. "He can only take so many blows to his ego per day."

"I'm just stating obvious facts."

"And here I thought you liked me," Warlic muttered.

"Do I really sound mean? I'm sorry."

"What? No, it's fine. We were just joking." Now it was Warlic who sounded alarmed.

"...Okay! Seriously though, I'm privately nicknaming you Sillyhead from now on."

We arrived at the castle gate and presented ourselves as petitioners seeking an audience. We went through the gate into the castle, where a second line of knights blocked our way. They said the queen was too busy to admit any common folk at this time. Warlic pressed on, saying he had something extremely important to tell Her Majesty. Amadeus added that they had seen something she needed to know about. They escalated all the way to claiming the safety of all of Lore was at stake. But the knights still wouldn't let us through.

Suddenly, a woman who looked familiar appeared and said she would handle us. Circe! She looked different without the librarian dress. I got a bad feeling. Sure enough, she led us to what might have been a closet. "You wanted a private audience, did you not? Now get in before someone sees you." Inside, she told us, "Illusions down. Now."

"Aha, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," Warlic said.

"Who are you and what do you want with the queen? Remove your illusions!"

"It seems the game is up," Amadeus said. "It has been a while, Circe."

Circe's eyes narrowed. "...Spymaster Amadeus. And your companion?"

"Who, me? I'm just an old man," Warlic said.

A throwing knife soon protruded from the wall next to him. "Next one's between your eyes."

Amadeus sighed. "Read the room, Warlic." Warlic let his kindly old-man smile lapse into his normal serious face.

"The legendary blue mage…" Circe murmured. "And you?" I was so busy watching Warlic that she had to repeat herself to get my attention.

I jumped and turned away. "Hello! My name's Ama."

Circe consulted a small compasslike device. "I still detect illusion magic. Drop it. Now."

I fought not to look at Amadeus. It must have been his magic that she was detecting. He couldn't drop it. What were we going to do?

"She brought along a magical companion," Amadeus said. "In case our bags were searched, we preemptively disguised it. Dropping the illusion now." I thanked my lucky stars that I had brought along Emerson as I took him out of my satchel. He was doing the Hoppy-Hop.

Circe was literally taken aback. "...A dancing sandwich."

"Yup. His name's Emerson. He can do different dances on command."

Circe took a moment to compose herself. I put Emerson away. With her professional face back on, she demanded, "Explain. What is it you want from Queen Victoria? I will not tolerate obfuscation."

Warlic asked, "Amadeus? Do we have time for this?"

"It would behoove us not to annoy the Queen's trusted…advisor." Wait, did he know her? From where? It sounded like they had not gotten along. Amadeus put on his most professional voice to explain, "To put it plainly, General Akanthus of The Rose is plotting something that may threaten all of Lore. He attacked me when I questioned him, and I was forced to flee. Hence my disappearance. Warlic has been studying Akanthus, attempting to determine his nature. With the help of this girl, we've learned that he has very dangerous abilities. It won't be long before no one can stop him."

"We must inform Queen Victoria, and Jaania as well, if possible. And quickly," Warlic said.

Circe studied us. Then she said, "I believe you. We have had our own suspicions regarding the General and Lady Jaania. I will take you to Queen Victoria. However… I have one more question. For you, Amadeus. How did you, a researcher and spy, survive a confrontation with the unstoppable General Akanthus?"

"I suppose I got lucky."

Circe smiled. "Now that I do not believe." Why was she smiling? It wasn't a cruel smile. Was she having fun, like her and Amadeus were playing a game? That made sense for a pair of spies. I hoped his relationship with her wasn't going to interfere in what we had to do.

"Perhaps I should ask how the cruel, self-serving, mercenary Circe became the lapdog of Swordhaven's royal family? You are surprisingly protective of Her Majesty."

There was a moment of silence. "Maybe this discussion can wait until later?" Warlic said.

"Yes. There are far more important matters at hand. Re-disguise yourselves, for now. I will escort you to the strategy room." She turned and led us away. We followed her to a room with a large model of the city in the center. She sent someone else to fetch the queen while she kept an eye on us. "You can drop the illusions." They did so.

Queen Victoria and her bodyguard arrived. She got right down to business. "Warlic and Amadeus. I'm told you two have important news."

"It's about Akanthus," Amadeus said. "He found a cell filled with powerful Doom energy inside an ancient structure. He ordered me to secretly modify it to increase its output. I realized that what I was doing would allow it to be used as a bomb, and refused. He tried to kill me for this. I was forced to flee."

"Get Eirn and Yix up here," the queen ordered. We waited all of two minutes for the short red-mohawked gnome and a potato on a stick to arrive. Queen Victoria related everything Amadeus had just said to get them up to speed. "Eirn and Yix, do you know anything about this Doom cell?"

"Describe its appearance," the potato asked. Amadeus did so. "That sounds an awful lot like the airship's new power source."

Queen Victoria said, "So let me get this straight. The Rose - that is, Lady Jaania, has a trithril-coated airship, most likely headed for the Fissure. At the behest of Akanthus, on board that ship is an unimaginably powerful device of Doom. A device that has been converted into a potential explosive. And whatever Lady Jaania may have planned, Akanthus is plotting this behind her back."

"That is correct," Amadeus confirmed.

"...What would happen if the device were dropped into the Fissure?"

"I could not say," Warlic said. "It may simply be absorbed. Or it may explode, shatter Lore, and end existence as we know it."

"Either nothing or an apocalypse. Wonderful."

"Or any number of unforeseen possibilities in between."

I peeked out from behind Amadeus. "We made up a plan to surprise Akanthus and maybe get him to do something stupid. The plan would be helped greatly if I could change my clothes."

Circe snorted. "You intend to surprise Akanthus? He's as impenetrable as his armor. It's a fool's game."

"You haven't seen my shirt," I retorted. Queen Victoria waved a hand. Circe led me back the way I had come. In the darkened room, I changed as quickly as I could. "I'm done."

She took one look at me and her eyes narrowed. "What kind of clothing is that?"

"The surprising-Akanthus plan involves explaining that. You'll know soon. Let's hurry."

We rushed back to the room. If Queen Victoria was surprised by my outfit, she didn't show it. She was a great queen. I took off the satchel and left it at the base of the great table while she said, "Jaania is tending to my sister Brittany now. We can head straight there. Circe, Eirn, Yix. See if you can find some way to cripple the airship. Stop it from leaving the city."

"Can't promise anything," Eirn said. "And we don't want that, uh, device going off either. So blowing it out of the sky isn't an option."

Circe looked unhappy. "As the gnome says, there are risks. I'll do what I can." She shot me a look. "And I want to hear everything when I'm done."

"Thank you," Queen Victoria said.

Just then, there was a flash of light from outside and everything shook a little. "What was that?!"

Warlic said, "There was… There was a massive shift in the flow of mana… But from where? To where?"

"I could hazard a guess," Amadeus said. "We need to move. Now."

.

A/N: The original chapter 4 ended with Nythera and I setting off on a gryphon. Why was it so far behind in the plot? Because it was filled with a bunch of unncessary stuff that got deleted, that's why.

First, there was an entire separate scene with Cysero and I discussing socks over dinner. It was supposed to demonstrate that my character had sincere appreciation for him. I'm already doing that in this version by having my character actually need his help, so that scene didn't need to exist anymore. I suppose the little interaction with Sepulchure (goshdarnit, he's supposed to be Amadeus) could be considered its replacement.

Then, there was a large scene where 3 things happened. 1. I grieved for the people I knew back in my world. I'm not sure if that is something I would realistically do in this situation or not. But in the revision, my character has a project to be working on in the morning, so there is no time in-story for such a scene. 2. Warlic spoke to me privately just to shoot me down. A logical consequence of the weird and cringey thing from last chapter. That got deleted, so thank the gods, this did too. 3. I considered revealing that I knew all about his apprenticeship in order to help Warlic by teaching him different ways of acting that could help him mend his relationships. That, I know, is something that I would realistically think about. But again, my character is busy with something in this version. Also, I would not realistically consider revealing that I knew everything of consequence that had happened in this world. It wouldn't even be a decision. The idea of giving up my new home, making myself seem like an alien, would be impossible. So there wouldn't be any internal struggle over that.

In the original chapter, Cysero comforted me after Warlic left. A nice attempt on my part to make him actually valuable. I already did that in this version of the story, so, delete.

In the original chapter, my character did not do any preparation before the planning meeting. There was no writing. No papers. No script. Not only was that a horrible misestimation of my own abilities, verging on blatant lie, but it also meant that my character was thinking out loud during the meeting. The meeting was 3 times as long as it is in this version because I forced everyone (and the poor readers) to listen to the thought process behind each of my suggestions. That was because when I was writing the original version of this fic, I had no goals in mind. I didn't know what the story was supposed to be about. What is the central theme? What's the focus? What's important? I didn't know any of that. So I ended up filling this chapter with stuff that interests me. I advised Cysero (but really I was advising Warlic) on how to improve his damaged relationship with Lim. I explained the basics of how to persuade people, and outlined a method by which one can study human behavior in order to get along better in the world. All things that I would realistically want to talk about with these characters, to be sure. But when I revisited this story with a goal in mind and the ability to tell what's important, I recognized all of that as not important. And my new, revised, willful and opinion-possessing versions of the characters would never put up with that anyway.

Then there was a scene where Cysero gave me a sock necklace. I struggle to tell apart different forms of love. In the first version of this story, I made the classic young person mistake (at least in this society) of defaulting to assuming strong affection = romance. Because I live in a very amatonormative society, where romantic love is made central and all others are considered less important. But I wrote the first version several months ago, and I've grown since then. I have a better understanding of feelings now. Cysero is a mentor to me. That's how I care about him. No romance involved.

The original chapter 5 contained another massive story logic error. Circe consulted her illusion magic detector after I introduced myself and didn't detect anything, but she should have. Thank goodness I introduced Emerson the dancing sandwich in the rewrite. He didn't originally exist. He proved helpful in getting past the enormous problem that her illusion detector would otherwise have presented. Then, when my character left to change clothes, I only changed my shirt. And did not leave my satchel behind. Despite planning to be doused in fire. Another story logic error.