It's a bad idea.

Claire knows it's a bad idea. She doesn't want to settle down-hell, she's not even looking for a relationship right now. She's got a job and a life and has absolutely zero interest in becoming someone's stay-at-home trophy wife.

And this guy-he's an absolute sweetheart. Kind, thoughtful, compassionate-admittedly not always as funny as he thinks he is-and definitely the kind of guy who's looking for a serious relationship. And this-this would send the wrong message.

The problem is this: there's a dinner/mixer/whatever event for work tonight that she one hundred percent does not care about but is still expected to go to, and while she is allowed to bring someone, the fact that she's not currently dating anyone makes it difficult.

There are a few guys she could call who would be more than willing to go, but none that would think that her dragging them along to a work thing was a mere matter of survival rather than an indication that she was looking for a steady relationship.

And it would most certainly be a matter of survival. Last time she went to one of these alone, every single guy there tried to hit her up, as did a few of the significantly less single variety.

She can't bully Mitchell into going with her either. For one thing, it would be weird. For another, he's still pissed about the whole hooking-up-with-a-guy-she-just-met-at-a-concert thing, which means he would just be snippy all night.

She's just about to suck it up, put her car in drive, and leave when a tap at the window of her car startles her.

"Howdy, stranger." She looks up and the very reason for her current moral dilemma is standing just outside her car, one hand resting easily on the roof in a not entirely comfortable reminder of the day they met. "Fancy seeing you here."

Claire rolls down the window and manages a forced smile. "Hey, Phil."

His own smile is genuine, and makes her stomach churn guiltily. "How are you? What brings you out to my neck of the woods?"

"Good. I'm good," she falters, not really wanting to explain why she's here. "How-how are you?"

"Great," he says, his smile somehow growing even wider. "So are you here to see someone?" he asks. "Or looking for an apartment? It's a sweet little neighborhood-although if I remember correctly, you've got your own place, so maybe not."

"I'm not looking for a new apartment," Claire confirms, wishing she had never come here in the first place.

"So what's up?" he asks. When Claire hesitates, his expression grows more serious. He leans in to look her over. "Everything all right?"

Claire laughs, but it's a nervous laugh that does nothing to reassure the man standing before her. "Yeah, yeah, everything's just fine. It's just-well, it's kind of dumb. And selfish."

"Okay," Phil says, nodding encouragingly. "Look, I know we just met the other day, but whatever it is, if you need to talk, I'm here."

And that is why this is a bad idea.

"I shouldn't be here," Claire tells him. "I don't want to give you the wrong idea. And I definitely don't want to break your heart."

He does this odd sort of not-quite smile that's mostly confused. "Sure..." he draws the word out like he's searching for the meaning behind hers.

"Look, you seem like a nice guy, Phil," Claire says. "I'm just not looking for a relationship right now."

"But?" He's straightened up, his hands slipping into his pockets. His eyes are furrowed, solemn, and practically boring into hers. He's waiting for her to continue.

Claire lets out an exasperated sigh. "I have to go to this dinner-thing for work tonight and if I go alone literally every guy there will hit on me but I don't currently have a boyfriend and the only guys I could ask would think me asking means I want a boyfriend-them, specifically."

Phil's quiet for a moment, thinking. "So you need someone who won't assume it's a date," he finally says.

"Right."

"And you came here to try to pick someone up?" he asks, looking confused again, and Claire almost laughs.

"A specific someone," she clarifies. "Who I've already told I'm not looking for a relationship, and seems like he would respect that. The problem is, I feel like I might be taking advantage by asking."

Phil considers this. Claire's still not entirely sure he understands.

"I mean, we already hooked up once, and he seemed to respect it then," she says, and is thrown more than a bit off guard when he looks around the apartment complex as if trying to figure out who she's talking about. "I also still kind of feel bad for hitting him with my car," she adds, and he looks back at her. "Twice?"

He hesitates, then, "Are you talking about-"

"You?" she interrupts. "Yeah."

"Oh." He frowns and looks around again, but in a slightly unfocused way that suggests that he's not really taking anything in. "What time is it? I finished a show and am in desperate need of a shower."

She laughs, genuinely surprised. "Um, six? It's about fifteen minutes away, so there's time."

"Okay," he looks back at her. "You wanna come in?"

Claire takes a deep breath. "Sure," she says, still entirely sure this is not a good idea.

"What kind of event is it?" he asks. "Formal? Semi-formal?"

"Business casual. Um, just to be sure, I just need someone to fend people off, so it's not, like, a date or anything."

"Got it," he says.

The half hour he spends in the shower is the longest thirty minutes of her life. She spends the entire time sitting on his couch, trying to talk herself out of taking him because even if he did agree it still feels like she's using him.

She's just working up the nerve to sneak out-as if that's somehow better-when he comes out of his bedroom in brown khakis, a dark plaid shirt, and brown lace-up shoes.

He looks good.

"This work?" he asks. "I can grab a tie..."

"It's fine." Claire is trying really hard not to look at anything other than his face. "Great, actually."

"Great," he smiles and grabs his wallet and his keys. "Should I drive, or-?"

"I can drive."

Claire's only intent was to use the man as a human shield to ward off other men. Other than that, she hasn't really thought this through.

She doesn't take into account the fact that Phil is attractive, or that he's not exactly a quiet sort of person. She also doesn't take into account the fact that a man friendly and easygoing enough to want to go out for drinks with someone after they hit him with their car is probably also going to be friendly at a work-related event full of people he doesn't know, even if the event isn't for his job, whatever that is.

"So what do you do?" a pretty girl Claire doesn't know asks. She's been eyeing Phil since they walked into the room, but has only just escaped her own date, a tall, slightly overweight man with thinning hair and glasses. It's kind of rude of her to abandon her own date just to try to fawn over Claire's, but since Claire's not actually interested in a relationship with Phil, she doesn't exactly have the moral high ground on this one.

"Well, in college I was a hairdresser," he admits. "It's how I paid for my gear. Right now, though, I'm pursuing a career as a magician."

Claire nearly spits out her drink, but the girl just nods and bats her eyes, which makes Claire wonder if she's even listening.

And suddenly Phil's pulled a deck of cards from...somewhere and is telling her to pick a card. The girl giggles and selects a card from the deck.

Apparently this guy is more of a nerd than Claire realized. She tunes out the rest of the trick, scanning to room to make sure the girl's date isn't heading their way...or angry.

The girl is giggling and leaning into Phil's personal space, and Claire figures she might be losing her non-date date fairly soon based on the way he leans in, reaches out to run a hand through her hair only to draw it back with a flourish-making it look like he's just pulled a quarter out of her ear.

Claire rolls her eyes at the girl's cooing and tells herself she has no right to be annoyed, even if the original plan was not for him to pick up girls. It's not like she's interested in him, after all.

"So how do you know Claire?" she hears her name a split second before she realizes Phil's sidled up to her and is reaching his arm around her back. His hand settles comfortably on her arm, giving it a light squeeze that she tries not to read anything into.

"Oh, I think we work in different areas," the girl says. "I don't think we've actually met. I'm Angela."

Claire forces a smile. "Nice to meet you, Angela."

The girl's smile is every bit as forced. "So how did you two meet?" she asks.

"We met at a concert-" Claire says, at the exact same time that Phil says, "She hit me with her car in a KFC parking lot." They turn and eye each other while the girl just stands there.

Claire chuckles nervously. "Just a little bump. No harm done."

Phil grins. "My fault, really. I got a little carried away and wasn't paying attention to my surroundings."

"Oh?" the girl-Angela-challenges. "What were you doing, crossing the parking lot?"

Phil looks a bit sheepish. "Breakdancing," he admits.

Angela doesn't know what to say to that. Neither does Claire. She clears her throat, stands up on her tiptoes, and pretends to look around.

"Oh," she picks a random direction and points. "We should go say 'hi'. Nice to meet you, Angela."

She takes off across the room. Phil keeps pace easily, his hand sliding to rest midway down her back. Claire tries to ignore him as they reach the far end of the room.

Phil looks around. "Who are we saying 'hi' to?" he asks.

"No one. I just needed to get away from Angela."

"Why? She seemed nice."

Claire resists the urge to roll her eyes.

At dinner they end up sitting with Tod and Elaine. She knows their names, but that's about it, and is in no way looking forward to trying to come up with an hour's worth of conversation.

Apparently she shouldn't have worried. Phil immediately introduces himself, then starts asking questions. By the time they're halfway through the meal she knows more than she ever wanted to know about both of them, including an in-depth description of Tod's job, that Elaine is a stay-at-home mom, that they have two children, a cat, and a dog, that the two have been married for eight years, and that Tod's mother is in the hospital and he's visited her every day since the woman was admitted three months ago.

Claire can't imagine being that close to her mother, but beside her Phil is choking up because he can't imagine how hard it must be to watch the woman who gave birth to you suffer, and Tod is looking more than a bit teary-eyed himself.

She wonders if this was a mistake after all, even though Phil has been nothing less than a perfect gentleman, and has done nothing to suggest that he regrets his decision to come with her.

Phil, Tod, and Elaine are chatting like they've known each other all their lives as the evening comes to an end. They all walk out to the parking lot together, Phil with his arm once again around Claire in a not-quite romantic way, and when it's time to part ways they exchange hugs as well as goodbyes. To Claire's surprise, Tod and Elaine both pull her into a hug as well.

"He's a good one," Elaine whispers as they embrace. "Don't let him get away."

Claire tries not to dwell on the advice as they head back to the car. She tries not to think about Phil's arm still draped comfortably across her shoulders, or how warm it is not-quite tucked against his side in the cool evening air.

He chatters the entire ride back to his place, but Claire can't seem to focus. She's not interested in a relationship. She's definitely not interested in him. She just wants to drop him off at his place and never see him again.

He falls silent as they pull up in front of his apartment.

"Thanks," she says, putting the car in park. "I really appreciate it."

"No problem," he says. "I had good time. Thanks for inviting me."

That's not exactly what happened, but she's not sure she wants to put the effort into arguing with him about it. She's also not entirely sure it's a good idea to acknowledge the statement.

She turns to risk a glance in his direction, because she doesn't want to be rude when he just did her a favor, and catches him staring. He blinks and flushes bright red before muttering a good night and fumbling for the door.

"Good night," she says, just as he gets it open only to nearly fall out of the car. He recovers his balance fairly quickly, nods, and offers an awkward half-wave.

"Good night," he says again, shoving his hands into his pockets, and turns and heads back to his apartment.

She sits there watching his retreating back until the door to his apartment closes behind him, obscuring her view.

Disclaimer: Modern Family does not belong to me.

Author's Note: Because I absolutely adore Phil, and I do love the relationship he and Claire have, even though it's not perfect. Also, there's quite a bit of conflicting information given in the series, so it's kind of fun to try to puzzle out how things might have gone. I hope this all turns out at least mildly believable, but more importantly, I hope you enjoy it at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it.

As always, thanks for reading, and if you've got a second, please review. Reviews keep us going, you know?