A/N - These are some scenes I wrote that I'm not going to do anything else with, but I like them, so here they are.
"I was surprised you and Superman ended things," a rich baritone said over Lois's shoulder as she sat nursing a gin and tonic at the swanky black marble and gold leafed bar of The Metropolitan, Metropolis's beautifully restored Art Deco heritage hotel, that was hosting Lex Luthor's latest image makeover event for his self-titled LexCares Campaign.
Lex owned the hotel, naturally, and had recently completed the historically accurate and wildly expensive restoration, but that had nothing at all to do with why he was hosting a 1920's themed charity gala and auction there. Of course not. Mere coincidence.
Inviting Lois Lane to the event as an Honored Guest, though? Baldfaced strategy play.
Lois hadn't intended to show up, but it had been one hell of a week and she'd been surprised that sitting alone (again) (as usual) in her apartment felt so much worse than normal, given how used to the solitude she was, and how dreadful the hoping and wishing and waiting and texting and calling and wondering if Clark would ever show up had become over the last six months.
She'd broken up with him for a reason, after all.
So why did she feel so damn bereft? It wasn't like much was going to change in her life, except that now Lois didn't have to stress about when and how she and Clark could carve out a few minutes of couples' time, which inevitably got interrupted anyway or had to be rescheduled because Lois was working or Superman was saving the world.
No more disappointments or late night tears (she'd thought, wrongly), or anxieties about how Lois and her boyfriend had not spent a full hour together as a couple, with each other's exclusive attention, even once in the last two months.
Oh, sometimes Clark was there while Lois was writing. Sometimes she was sleeping while he was writing. Sometimes they slept in the same bed for a few hours; more rarely for a whole night. They'd even managed to have sex three whole times in the last eight weeks.
"Superman was surprised, too, that we broke up," Lois said in a voice as dry as her gin, indulging Lex for a change because she was tired.
Tired of not having conversations face to face. Tired of her relationship consisting of a few lines of text every couple of hours and not much more. Tired of feeling guilty for being such a driven, hard-working, kickass reporter that she didn't have the leisure time to be available for the scraps of attention tht the Man of Steel could offer her in the midst of his mutually unpredictable schedule.
It wasn't Clark's fault, but it wasn't Lois's fault, either. It just was, and it sucked.
"You seemed like such a well-matched couple," Lex was saying as he slid into the bar stool next to Lois, signaling the bartender for a drink.
"We were; our schedules weren't," Lois said shortly, as she gulped down the rest of her gin and tonic.
The bartender, dressed in a suave retro vest and bowtie, handed Lex a brown liquid that Lois assumed was his usual.
"Would you like another?" Lex asked Lois, indicating her empty glass.
She mulled it over before shaking her head.
"Just a Diet Coke," Lois said to the bartender, reaching for her purse.
"It's on me," Lex smiled, reaching out to grasp her hand in his to stop Lois from opening her wallet.
Lois looked at him.
"You know I can't accept gifts from you," she said wearily.
"One Diet Coke isn't going to corrupt the independence and integrity of The Daily Planet's Lois Lane," Lex pooh-poohed, still holding her hand.
"Fine," Lois muttered, removing her hand from Lex's as she very deliberately closed her purse and set it back on the counter, although not before removing a ten dollar bill which she slid to the bartender for a tip when he returned with her soda.
"I appreciate you coming tonight," Lex said, still giving Lois a small smile as he regarded her over the edge of his drink.
"Why did you invite me?" Lois said pointedly. "You know I'm not going to talk your hotel up for you - or write it up."
"I was hoping that you would talk me up," Lex said smoothly, allowing his smile to slip into full-on charming.
Lois raised her eyebrows.
"Are you seriously hitting on me?" she said to Lex in disbelief.
"Yes," Lex said.
And Lois did not want to feel all flushed and bothered at the wantonly sexy look that Lex was giving her, or to feel freaking flattered that Lex Luthor was trying to get in her pants, because -
"Is this just to piss Superman off?" Lois snapped. "Because that's pretty shitty, even for you, Lex. Fuck off."
"This has nothing to do with Superman," Lex said, a gentle hand reaching out to rest on Lois's elbow, "other than the fact that he had taken you off the market and now you're finally available again."
Lois stared at him.
"What the hell?" she said, furrowing her brow. "You didn't even know who I was before Superman showed up in Metropolis a few years ago."
"Oh, I knew exactly who you were," Lex countered. "I kept a running list of how many Fortune 500 companies you tanked with your investigative exposés. Come home with me and I'll show you," he winked at her.
Lois blinked.
"Bullshit," she said, but she was chuckling now. "You did not."
"I did," Lex said very seriously. "You were a threat, Lois Lane, and I keep a watchful eye on threats."
"You do a little more than that," Lois snarked before sipping on her soda.
"I'm a changed man," Lex protested with a falsely ingratiating laugh. "LexCorp is squeaky clean now, just like its CEO."
"Yeah, right," Lois snorted.
"I'm forgiven in the eyes of the law," Lex said more intensely, leaning forward towards Lois, which really shouldn't have made her nervous. "LexCorp has been audited and sanctioned and pardoned, and all that's left is for the public to re-embrace me as a social hero," Lex finished.
"Forgive me for believing that asking you on a date five years ago would have been an act of extreme foolishness on my part," Lex smirked. "But now…" he shrugged. "We're both free from entanglements."
Lois gave him a look.
"Why the hell would you want to date me?" she said. "Seriously, Lex. That makes no sense."
"Do you really think so little of yourself?" Lex asked her in surprise.
Lois busted out laughing.
"No, dummy. I think so highly of me and so little of you. I'm so far out of your league it's ridiculous," Lois said, laughing even harder.
"Perhaps I can convince you otherwise," Lex said, leveling Lois with an intense look in his eyes that, she could not deny, did do fairly nice things in-between her legs.
"You can try," Lois scoffed, "but I wouldn't bet on you succeeding," she said as she got up off of her stool.
"Thanks for the invitation, though," Lois said over her shoulder as she walked off. "Great party."
A week ago
"Clark," Batman said in surprise when Superman flew into the Batcave unannounced.
"Is everything all right?" Bruce asked with concern, automatically checking the Batcomputer for any Justice League alerts, but the night remained as quiet as he'd previously believed.
Clark landed in front of Bruce, who was surprised to see that the Man of Steel's face was wet with tears.
"Lois broke up with me," Clark choked out.
"Oh," Bruce said, raising his eyebrows and biting his tongue, because had Batman seen that coming a mile away?
Yeah. Yeah, he had.
Superman, apparently, had not.
But what Batman had not foreseen was Superman coming to him for comfort. Of all the sticky, stupid, emotional messes that Bruce did not want to be involved in, and - oh.
Clark was hugging him.
Ok, that was weird. Ugh.
Clark was clinging to Bruce like Dick used to cling to him as a child when he missed his parents, and Clark was bawling on Bruce's shoulder in the same heartbroken, needy way, except not quite the same way, because this was his friend, not his child, dammit - and double-dammit, if this was what Bruce got for finally making a friend, then he was kind of regretting the act - but - well - it was Clark and after everything they'd been through together, both as Batman and Superman and then as Bruce and Clark, well, it maybe actually felt kind of good to finally be hugging Clark, who wouldn't have dared to hug Batman under normal circumstances.
But here was Clark, not just hugging Bruce but desperately hanging onto him, and sobbing so hard that Bruce couldn't help squeezing his friend's back and rubbing soothing circles with one hand while his other hand tenderly carded through the hair on the back of Clark's head and Bruce was gently shushing his friend as carefully as if the Man of Steel was made of glass, murmuring that he would be ok, that Clark would get through it, that Bruce was there for him.
"Thanks," Clark finally muttered a good while later, all cried out, when he finally let Bruce go and stumbled backwards to sit down heavily in one of the Batcomputer chairs.
He rubbed his nose on his uniform sleeve until Bruce silently plopped a box of tissues in his lap.
"Thanks," Clark muttered again, taking some and wiping his eyes and blowing his nose.
"What happened?" Batman said, because even though he was pretty sure that he knew exactly why Lois had pulled the plug, Clark didn't need to know what Batman knew.
No one did.
He was Batman.
"Lois, um," Clark started out hoarsely, and had to stop to clear his throat and sniff out a few more tears.
"She said our lives don't mesh and we never have time to spend together when one of us isn't working."
"Is she right?" Bruce asked, which maybe made him seem like an asshole to Clark on the surface, but Batman firmly believed that seeing reality for what it was, and not what one wished it to be, was the key to moving forward.
Because it wasn't like Bruce had spent years recovering from his own heartbreak and tragedy, or anything, and had become somewhat of an expert on the subject of getting on with your life.
Clark sighed and stayed silent for a minute, playing with the edges of his cape.
"I love her so much," Clark said finally, instead of answering Bruce's question.
"And she loves you," Bruce said, leaning forward on his elbows, "but is she right, Clark? Do your lives fit together?"
"No," Clark whispered hollowly, blinking as more tears fell down his cheeks.
Batman grunted.
Which could mean anything, depending how Clark wanted to take it. Hence the beauty of the Batgrunt, Bruce thought to himself. A brilliant tactic he'd invented as a new father when Dick's questions and persistence would get out of hand.
"We tried so hard," Clark said brokenly. "I would have kept trying. I would never have stopped trying," he said in frustration. "I know it's hard, but Lois is worth it."
Bruce grunted again.
"You don't think so?" Clark asked him, looking up with wounded eyes.
"I didn't say that," Batman protested. "Maybe it's enough for you, Clark, to collapse into bed next to a sleeping Lois when you get back from saving the world, and maybe it's enough for you the way things are, with how little time you two get together to just be Lois and Clark. But it's clearly not enough for Lois," Bruce said, and he tried to say it gently, he really did, because he hated seeing Clark look so sad and lost.
It made his heart hurt.
"She said it's like being in a relationship with a ghost," Clark muttered, hanging his head down. "And that I deserved better, too, someone who had more time for me."
"She's right," Bruce said softly. "You both deserve better, Clark. What's the point of a relationship if you can't ever live your life with the person you love?"
Clark gave Bruce a funny look.
"Is that why you don't date?" he said.
Bruce sighed but nodded.
"Who could I be with that could be in my life both as Bruce Wayne and Batman?" he said.
"Another hero," Clark said. Bruce gave him a wry look.
"Who in the Justice League do you think could put up with me?" he said. "Last time I checked, I'm not exactly Captain Popularity."
"And whose fault is that?" Clark chuckled. "You go out of your way to be unpleasant." Bruce's grunt held a lot more amusement this time.
"I like being unpleasant," he said.
"I know," Clark smiled.
Hours later, with Clark safely tucked into a guest bedroom and Bruce contentedly back at work in his BatCave, the force of the thought hit him like an upgraded batarang: There was, in fact, one person in the Justice League who could put up with his unpleasantness, and who even went so far as to find it amusing.
And now he was single.
A/N - Thanks for reading! You can follow me on Tumblr at River9Noble.