Jein is alive. He's not entirely sure how he's pulled it off, and he's not sure if he's going to be able to keep it up for very much longer. But that's not the point - the point is that he's alive. He's actually living. And he's a Riha. Which makes everything so much more complicated.
Complication One: His group 100% knows what he is. If they decide it'll save them to turn him in, he'll be dead faster than Ejai's switch. Which. Is very fast.
Complication Two: At least one other person can at least guess who he is. If they decide to report their suspicions, he'll be dead more surely than Ijisu can say the 'rations have been lowered' before the end of the week. Which. Is very sure.
Complication Three: If he shows any sign of being Riha - even one, seemingly small sign - he'll be dead, more certainly than his group's calculations. These calculations better be certain, or he'll be dead regardless.
Complication Four: Pulhi was bombed-and there are no survivors. Also, the area called Jyuki has been purged-thus, all Riha who might have been there are dead.
Complication Five: His brother was killed by Caldereans (what's the point they're crigels) before he joined the war. His father and sister and mother lived in Pulhi and weren't allowed out. His other brother was serving in Jyuki at the time of purging. Thus. He is alone.
Complication Six: He misses his family. So does everyone else, but at least they can hope they're alive. At least they have something to hold on to. He's losing hope. And if he loses hope, he'll be dead. Fast. Surely. Certainly.
Complication Seven: He misses the Riha way of life. He misses Speaking every morning. He misses his Riha pendant. He misses the celebrations, and he misses the temples. He misses the teachings, and he misses hearing his father teach them.
When he thinks about it, this seems like a lot. However, there has to be a reason why he's alive, when his entire family isn't. (It was Lehn's first battle. It was supposed to be safe.)
So, everyday, he wakes up, and thinks that he's grateful to be alive. Maybe Rihamon can hear that. Maybe the Cal-crigels-dareans can't. (Aang promised he would come back.)
He keeps fighting, and pushing to stay alive, just like everyone else. He says it's for his family, but maybe it's because he's selfish. (Dad told me to come back-he was supposed to wait for the end of the war, not go and get bombed.)
He doesn't want to die. He doesn't want to be shot, and he's not sure if that's all these people (if they can be called that) do to you if they find out you're a Riha living under everyone's nose. He doesn't want to starve. He doesn't want to get sick. So, he keeps fighting with everything he has to stay alive, and somehow it works. Jein-despite the complications-is, for now, alive