Harry stared into the sky as he stood on the battlefield. Well it technically wasn't a battlefield anymore, but it sure felt like it. Sure, the battle ended a month before, but those kids who had no family to go back to stayed at Hogwarts to help rebuild. The stay was killing him, for Harry was alone now. Alone in this battlefield, this graveyard. The place that once held so many good memories, now only holding the smell of death.
Harry technically wasn't alone, he had people on his side to talk to, but he felt too guilty to even look them in the eye. All of their loved ones were dead because of him. They all died trying to protect him. They all died trying to save him from a fate he was more than willing to accept, if it meant he could save them.
All of the deaths were his fault. If he had just been stronger he could have saved them. They would still be alive. His parents died protecting him, although he did know there was nothing he could do to stop that, he wasn't that important that his parents had to risk their lives to save them. Cedric wouldn't have died if he had just pushed him out of the way, if he had the reflexes to see the curse coming and deflect it, or step in the way. Sirius was killed because Harry put too much trust in the enemy. When Dumbledore died, Harry had known it would happen, yet he was too much of a coward to save him; he knew Dumbledore was too weak to defend himself, and Harry was more than capable to help him. Dobby died to save Harry from Bellatrix, and if only he had sensed it coming, or held Dobbys hand on the way. Hedwig died because Harry wasn't careful enough. Everyone else died fighting in a battle he could've defended them from: Remus, Tonks, Fred, Collin, Lavender, and so many more died so they could help him.
Now, he had no one. He locked himself in his dorm for days on end, scared of what people would think of him. He just knew they would hate him, even though he killed Voldemort. Killing Voldemort ended it all yes, but it didn't stop the fact he had killed so many others. Once people realized all the deaths were his fault, they would hate him. So he never came out.
Harry wished he could live somewhere where nobody knew him. Where he wasn't known. A place people wouldn't recognize the name Harry Potter. A place where there was no 'Boy who lived' or 'chosen one,' a world where there was no Harry Potter to exist.
Except he now remembered that there was a way. There was a way to go to a place where no one would know him.
He just needed a time turner.
—-
Harry knew the answer to his problems, and yet he didn't know where to find it. He knew that all the time turners in the wizarding world were kept in the Department of Mysteries which he knew he could never go to again, after Sirius.
Sirius, I'm sorry Sirius.
No, there was no time to think about that now. Now where could he find a stupid time turner? He grabbed a piece of paper to brainstorm, a habit Hermione introduced to him when he made lesson plans for the DA. He listed the places where he could look, and reasons they were bad or good ideas:
Headmasters office- The headmasters office was technically a good place to start, as Dumbledore probably had all sorts of magical artifacts hidden in there. Whether he was supposed to or not. The downside to looking here is that it would bring up bad memories, and that it was now Professor McGonagall's office, who would probably notice if someone went digging through it. It also wasn't as likely as Hermione had to borrow a time turner from the ministry.
Borgin & Burkes- Borgin and Burkes is the most likely place to find a time turner, as it had all sorts of illegal artifacts. As seen with the Vanishing Cabinet and the collection of Blood Quills Harry saw when spying on Malfoy. Although, past death eaters and other Voldemort supporters who would rather see him dead than alive, were most likely hiding in Knockturn Alley.
The Department of Mysteries- The Department of Mysteries is where all of the time turners are, although it isn't very easy to sneak into the Ministry, and memories of that day were buried deep inside his mind, that he was not willing to let out.
Room of Requirement- The Room of Requirement had a chance of having a time turner, although it would take a very long time to look, as quite a lot of the specific room he was going to was destroyed, and it was filled to the brim with other random things.
Harry crossed out the Headmasters Office and the Department of Mysteries, as those were more risky. He could always disguise himself when going to Borgins, and he would have enough patience to the Room of Requirement.
So, Harry set off to Borgins the next day, after studying on his time trip. All kids who stayed over the summer had the privilege to apparate in and out of grounds, if they were the permitted age and knew how to properly apparate, of course. So Harry apparated to the entrance to Knockturn alley, after putting on a glamour. His Hair turned a dark shade of red, with a freshly shaved beard, he also had brown eyes, and an extra couple inches added to his height. He wore a gray sweater, black jeans, and a perfectly fit black cloak.
He walked into Borgin & Burkes, back straight. An old man sat behind the messy front counter, reading a book called 'Banned Magical Artifacts: Where, What, and Why' Harry walked up to the counter, wondering if he could ask if there was a time turner there, or if it was a sort of thrift store where you had no choice but to look.
"Sir." Harry said, knowing if he said anything somewhat kind he would be questioned or look suspicious. The old man jumped in his seat.
"Is there anything I could help you with?" The old man said, Mr. Burke, as his name tag implied.
"Yes, actually, Mr. Burke. I was wondering if you have any time turners in this shop?" Harry inquired, with a passive expression. Not letting his nervousness show, as to not break the glamour, or to look out of character and weak. Mr. Burke looked at him with mild curiosity, although not too much, as he had dealt with weirder, more questionable requests in the past.
"I do believe we do, fine sir." He said, Harry nodded. Mr. Burke only followed the answer with a warning.
"Although, young sir, I do hope you know that if you change the past it might affect the present day, and I do wish nothing to happen to you or I." Mr. Burke had a genuine look of concern, seemingly for Harry, in his eyes. Which was surprising, and Mr. Burke was the owner of a store infamous for its evil qualities.
"Yes, Mr. Burke, I am aware." Harry had already thought that part out. He was probably going to go to the 1st year of Hogwarts, in his parents' time. Although as to not be suspected he would make an alternate identity for himself. He would be named Harry Dursley. He would be a brunette instead of black haired, and make his eyes hazel rather than green, as for his identity to not be pieced together. He had found a potion that would turn him into his younger self. Although the potion could only be used once on a person. He also found another potion that he would mix with the other, that could get rid of his memories from the age 11 and up, for exactly 1 year.
"Ah, here it is." Mr. Burke sighed, finally finding the time turner. "It is 100 Galleons."
"No problem, sir." Harry said, smiling. Mr. Burke led him to the counter so Harry could pay him. Harry proceeded to pull out his wallet, retrieving 150 Galleons.
"Keep the change, sir, I don't need it. Thank you for helping me." Harry smiled at the man.
"You are very welcome, young man. Be careful. I would like to know what you plan on using it for, I don't want another war to take place." Mr. Burke said this, trying (but failing,) to hide how nervous he was.
"Don't worry sir, I am only going back in time to catch a glimpse of my loved ones, who had fallen in the war. I might stay there, as there is nothing for me here." Which technically wasn't a lie. Mr. Burke's eyes softened.
"Oh, I see. Just know, young man, if you ever need somewhere to stay, I do have an extra room, and I would appreciate some company myself." Mr. Burke said, true kindness in his tone. Kindness that Harry had only ever heard in Sirius's voice. Harry's eyes stung.
"Don't worry, Mr. Burke, if I do come back, I will come here." Which hadn't been a lie.
—-
Harry apparated back to his dorm in Hogwarts. Greeted by the smell of his brewing potion. Harry brought the time turner to his bedside table, preparing to curse it. He didn't have to worry about being caught, as all students that stayed over the summer, or would stay for the 8th year Hogwarts supplied for students who didn't get to participate in 7th, had access to their own dorm.
"Ut me ad allium mundum!*" Harry yelled. Flicking his wand at the time turner. The artifact rose into the air for a quick second, shrouding itself in a golden mist, only to fall back down again. Harry checked the clock to make sure that the second hand was now going counter-clockwise, the sign that showed Harry had done it correctly. He had.
Harry checked the potion, it had changed from a dark blue color, to a lilac, so he knew it was finished. Harry grabbed a small vial, the specific dose he was supposed to take, as to not revert to that age forever, and filled it. He lifted the small vial to his lips, knowing that if he did this now, there was no going back.
Harry set the vial down. He would write to his friends, back the things he assumed he needed for his trip, and then he would go.
He grabbed his wand, clothing (He shrunk them down), pictures of his friends, a classic Weasley sweater, and snacks. He also brought 200 galleons, 50 sickles, and a couple knuts. He also brought a couple books, including: 'Hogwarts: A history,' 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,' 'The Tales of Beedle the Bard,' and a couple other books Sirius mentioned he had used in his first years at hogwarts, along with a a couple extra doses of the memory potion (He included a letter to younger Harry about when to take it). He decided he would bring a couple muggle books he had found. He also brought a diary of sorts, that he had begun to write about his life and thoughts in, he found it was a way to free himself of his burdens, although only slightly.
Once he had finished writing a letter to Hermione, Ron, and McGonagall, that he had left and they would probably not see him for a long while, he grabbed his briefcase, and brought the vial to his lips. He felt himself start to shrink to the skinny size of his 11 year old self. Only then realizing that he had not, in fact, been a healthy 11 year old kid. He grabbed the time turner, spinning it so he would go to precisely September 1st, 1975, the Hogwarts Express.