Title: Home

Rating: K

Category: General

Season: 3

Episode: 17 – A Hundred Days

Summary: Jack's POV as he prepares to return home from Edora.

Pairing: Sam/Jack

Beta: None

– SJ – SJ – SJ – SJ –

Jack was exhausted. Bone weary from living the life of a farmer for the better part of 3 months on Edora, and the last many hours of digging out and righting the Stargate. The high he'd being riding since he'd sighted Teal's face, beneath the surface of the crator zone, was waning fast. He was still over the moon to have been rescued, but he was beginning to buckle under the weight of the emotions currently coursing through him. He was standing, slackly, listening to Sam Carter telling him something about the gate being horizontal. The sound of her voice, the way he could tell she was preparing to launch in to what he referred to as technobabble, it was so familiar, so comforting. He hadn't realised how much he had missed her.

Sure he missed Earth, missed his team. They had all become close over the last few years. But the intensity of his reaction, when he'd first seen her emerge from the wormhole, surprised him. Of course, nothing of his thoughts showed outwardly and he was doing his best to convince himself that he was just as happy to see Daniel and Teal'c. Earlier, when Teal'c had emerged from the vortex, created by the kawoosh, he's given the man a great big bear hug. He'd also hugged Daniel once the Archaeologist had stepped through the 'gate. Carter had been following behind a large group of Edorans returning to the planet, and the opportunity to hug her hadn't presented itself, as they all got caught up in the throng of people heading towards the village, the townspeople were happy to be home and were eager to see their friends and family who had remained behind.

The urge to reach out to her, to take her in his arms and never let go, was worming its way through his subconscious. Vaguely aware of the desire for physical contact and the inappropriateness of such an impulse, all that registered in his extremely tired conscious mind was a strong sense of discomfort. Nothing of his inner turmoil showed in his body language. The outside observer would even go so far as to say he was disengaged, bored, not paying attention. Seeking a distraction from the building wave of distress, his eyes wandered and he had to step away. Denial, swiftly finding root deep inside, eased his inner turmoil.

The very next moment, his eyes landed on Laira, and a sharp stab of guilt added to the layer of new emotions burying the previous malaise. He moved towards her, wondering how to let her down easily. He cared about her, but not in the way that she truly hoped. When he had been at his lowest, he had allowed himself to think that he could have settled for living a life with her. He wasn't in love, not even close, but with little to no other options, it would have been doable.

Now he felt regret for losing his faith in his team. He should have known they would never leave him behind. More guilt, and then a wave of relief settled upon him when Laira turned down his offer for her to come to Earth. She may live a simple life, but she wasn't a fool. She must have known his heart wasn't in it. Hopefully she would find someone to give her what she craved.

His misstep the previous evening was unlikely to result in anything. Having been married for many years, he knew the signs and symptoms of a woman's cycle and the timing wouldn't have allowed anything to eventuate. That, and the fact that he hadn't been able to reach his own release, all but ensured there would be no lasting consequence of his dalliance.

He hugged Laira goodbye, not quite acknowledging that he was trying to quench his need to be in the arms of the woman a short distance behind him. He turned to his team, and they headed back towards the 'gate. To his disappointment, Sam didn't resume her explanations. Walking ahead of him, she didn't say much of anything. Daniel easily filled the silence, telling him anecdotes about what he had missed in his unwanted hiatus from the SGC.

Jack was going home. That was all that mattered, and he let that thought wash away the maelstrom of feelings from the day. Home was the only thought in his mind as he stepped through back to Earth.