A/N WELCOME! I HAVE NEVER POSTED HERE BEFORE! To be frank this is maybe the fourth time I have visited this website. I dont think about it you shouldnt either. Ive been ehre forever.
I'm an ao3 sort of bitch. Idk what the vibes are around here on that. Idk if there's some kind of war going on (Idk if I maybe haven't heard of the war going on about it) but I'm happy to swap platforms, this seems cool. I like a ton about the filtering system, although straight up browsing stories is fucking impossible it's like reading the bible in fucking google docs, single spaced, no indents, pt 12 font like Im losing my faith here. My faith in God because of this
Okay this is a repost from ao3 but for the most part im just gonna copy the authors notes that I already have on here. I want the experience to be mostly the same. Because the experience was rad. Okay guys please enjoy, I take any and all criticism, I WOULD LOVE A BETA READER, and I appreciate praise. It gives me sexual gratification.
I only skimmed the guidelines idk if I'm allowed to say that IM KIIDDDIINGG GUYYSS! I only get sexual gratification from the favorites the reviews do nothing for me
It was Friday morning.
Sirius had a couple of massive tests Tuesday and Thursday. Now that they were over, his week was over too, in every way that mattered - he was just slogging through the rest, waiting for the weekend.
He breathed into his hands and rubbed the blue out of them. It was the middle of January, and Lancashire was frozen solid—it was below zero every single day, and Sirius'd had to start digging into his emergency ice-age clothing. Thick white clouds roiled in the sky every day. When it rained, it was a trickling, frozen rain that landed directly on his scalp no matter how he bent his head. He didn't care much for winter. He cared more for the spot in the middle of his bed, which he knew was probably still warm from his body heat.
Sirius hadn't been alone for long when James came round the corner into the dumpster nook. He was moving sluggishly and his glasses were so foggy they looked solid white.
"Alright, Potter?" Sirius called.
"Alright, you beautiful bastard," James grinned, more chipper than he looked. "Actually bothered with your hair today?"
"Nope."
"Ah, you arsehole."
"Where's my Pettigrew?"
James set his bag down on the wet asphalt, right next to a puddle of dumpster gunk. His thin, rosy face was right at Sirius's knee.
"He's got another date," James said, patting the knee.
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Again?"
"What d'you mean mean 'again'? Obviously yes."
"Oh 'obviously yes'—suck my dick. How was I meant to know he'd get more than one."
James stretched out his hand, and Sirius dutifully clasped onto it. He yanked him up the rest of the way onto the wall. It was freezing out and James was wearing a black puffer that made it hard for him to use his arms, so he made a lot of undignified shuffling movements to get comfortable.
James pulled a cigarette from his pocket (which, again, looked very stupid in a puffer that large), then he lit it, took a smoke, and held it out to Sirius. Sirius shook his head.
James muttered something that sounded like 'impossible to bribe', then he looked down and blew out a neat smoke ring.
Sirius smiled, looking out. He didn't like smoking that much. The taste was awful, the feeling wasn't euphoric. The only reason he ever did it was because it made girls think he was hard, and not even especially so. Definitely not hard enough to justify how much of a prat he felt holding a cigarette so fragilely, which he could never help doing when he got a hold of one.
Sirius yawned.
He was in low spirits. He had slept like shit because his father just got back from his work trip to America and, even though he wasn't loud or anything, knowing that he was just down the hall made it impossible to sleep. It'd felt like the house was shaking.
While James smoked and talked, Sirius tucked his frozen nose into his fur-lined collar and glared at the football pitch in the middle of the green hills behind the school, complaining occasionally about the cigarette stench: the only two things he was in the mood to do.
"Think I'll skive off," Sirius said to James later after the first bell had rung and they skipped up the steps to the front of the school. "I'm exhausted."
James's face fell. "Mate, you can't leave. If I make fun of Wormtail by myself it'll be sort of bullying."
"Honestly, if we're both there then it will definitely be bullying."
"But fun."
"S'pose. But I think I'll skive off anyway."
They'd gone to the second-floor science hall and Sirius was out of breath, while James, the star footballer, was bouncing on his toes and ready to go another lap of the school.
James ducked his head and mussed his hair even though they were late and the halls were empty of his admirers. "Just stay till, like… well, when have you got biology?"
"Now. This is the science hall, mate."
"Oh, okay, so–"
"Wait, where are you supposed to be right now?"
"Doesn't matter. Just stay through first period, okay? Good?"
"Prongs, I want to leave now. Why wouldn't I just leave now?"
James sped ahead. Sirius caught up with an awkward jog and berated him. "Just stay for first period!" James insisted.
Sirius slowed down and raised an eyebrow. James was looking very determinedly away from him and he had his head slung low between his shoulders.
"...Why?" he asked, much more suspicious.
"No reason," he muttered, thrusting his hands in his pockets. The hallway got a litter more cramped and dim near Sirius's biology so Sirius took the opportunity to shove in close to James and lower his voice.
"What's in biology?" he asked frighteningly.
"Nothing!" James insisted, then his straight face wavered and he broke out in snickers. "Piss off."
Sirius sighed, slid his hands in his pockets, and put the space back between them. "Okay. Whatever it is, it better finish me off."
They came to a stop at Sirius's class, which had a little scuffed-up door with a prison cell window and 𝐌𝐇𝐘𝐑𝐄 scratched underneath that, along with a number of rude words, a couple of which were in James's chicken scratch. James grinned at Sirius and opened it like he was doing a magic trick.
"Welcome in," James said, tapping the side of his nose.
Sirius pushed James's shoulder and adjusted his bag strap before he slipped inside. He didn't have a single clue what he was talking about and it made him irritable. "You wanker."
Despite himself, once he stepped cautiously into the room, he scanned it like James had somehow hidden somewhere in it and was about to pop out. But it was nothing special. Kids in their uniforms and thick jackets and raincoats, chatting, texting, only a few of them looking over to wave hello to Sirius or James. No black bear, no vandalism, no epic prank, although James snuck in attached to Sirius's back, peering over his shoulder like he expected there to be. He was probably the weirdest thing in the room. He kept patting Sirius on the back and grinning and wishing him luck, and he only sheepishly skittered from the room when Ms. Mhyre shouted Potter, leave right this instant!
As Sirius walked to the back of the room to his seat, he scanned the aisles and spotted nothing out of the ordinary. No one even looked at him strangely, just grinned and smacked him on the back as he walked by. Alright, Black? Alright.
He started to expect that the something would happen in the middle of class—some big Potter prank. Sirius reckoned that it probably wasn't worth staying for an hour just to be in the school when Potter pulled the fire alarm or something, but then he imagined the whole building rigged to explode and knew he'd be remiss to be at home, sleeping through it. The stupid bespectacled wanker always knew how to intrigue him, if only enough to put up with a vague boredom.
He took off his jacket and slung it over the back of his chair before sinking into it and kicking his feet on top of the desk. He ignored Ms. Mhyre's pointed eyebrow.
He did like this class, really, even though he still wished he would've just bunked off. Jenny Lupin, who sat next to him and was just then picking at something in her lap, was good company. Quiet, funny, tugged up her school skirt to just below her bum. Check check check.
"Good morning, Jen," Sirius said, and then his eyes grew watery. Jenny's sharp, sickly sweet perfume had smacked him in the face as soon as he turned to look at her and he choked. It hit him with such dizziness that he had to put all legs of his chair on the ground. "Er, new perfume?"
"Yeah," she said quietly after a second, looking into her lap. Her ears were pink. "It's supposed to smell like roses. You like it?"
"Um. Yes." He scooted his chair away a little.
He rolled his shoulders and yawned. He was very, very tired. Jenny would give him that day's notes if he just flashed her a nice smile and asked politely—she was clever and he was pretty sure that James knew her, so she'd be used to scummy prats asking for her work.
He raked his hair back. "Lupin, do you mind–"
Then he caught a glance of Jenny's face. She was turned to face him, her eyes were bugging out of her big red face, and she was bent towards him with her hands clutched on her knees like she was about to tell him a terrible secret. Sirius jumped a little.
Then he narrowed his eyes and wondered for a second if she had something to do with Prongs'... thing.
But no, she was too sensible. She'd never go along with him.
So Sirius just looked at her, confused and with his brow scrunched. He wondered if he was supposed to ask if she was alright. Surely she wasn't supposed to look like that.
He cleared his throat. "...Lupin, are you–"
"Willyougooutwithme?" she hissed.
Sirius wrinkled his eyebrows and leaned in. "Sorry?"
"Will—Will you"—she looked away from Sirius and stared at her knees as they clonked together, looking horrified—"will you go out with me? I just. I like you very much."
Oh.
"Oh."
Oh.
Sirius didn't really know how to act.
"Um," he said awkwardly. He felt bad that her face was so red and sweaty and his was obviously normal. Oh, fucking Prongs. Fucking Prongs! She might've been making it up, but she might not have been. Oh, bloody hell, he had to ask. "...Is that a... prank?"
"Er, no."
"...Are you sure?"
Jenny's lips tightened very severely and she looked for a truly terrifying second as though she would cry. She even made an ugly choking noise, which made the two blokes in front of them turn around and stare. "Yes," she said meekly, looking as though she wanted to die.
Sirius stiffened and he felt his face heating up. He was normally so good with confessions! Just no. No, thank you. No, I'm spoken for, do you know James Potter? No, I'm afraid I have a myriad of diseases.
He heard Ms. Mhyre beginning her lesson, and Jenny looked so upset, and the room was very warm and he was wearing a very thick woolen collar, and he just panicked. His heart seized up, his mouth felt all weird, and he found it intensely difficult to breathe, and he panicked.
"Then... then yes!"
WHAT!
"Oh," she breathed, meeting his eyes. She really was very beautiful. Large eyes. Round cheeks.
He gave her a stiff smile and turned away, keeping his face straight even though he was cursing himself internally. The two blokes in front of him were grinning, he could feel their grins burning his scalp. Now they were gonna mutter and spread it around the school how Sirius and Jenny Lupin were fucking, and that she was pregnant with his child, and that he was fucking twenty other girls, too...
"Thanks," he heard her whisper.
Then he didn't think about it. He had a girlfriend, that's it.
That's all.
Ms. Mhyre started droning about notebooks and pencils and Sirius put his head down on the table, but he couldn't fall asleep. God, he should've fucking bunked off.
—
Sirius had never fled from a room, but he well and truly fled that classroom, with Jenny behind him still packing up her things. He usually walked out with Jenny, chatting and taking the piss out of Ms. Mhyre, but he couldn't very well do that anymore. Towards the end of class, Jenny had been sending him furtive little looks that meant that she was definitely going to try to hold his hand or something, and every time he thought about that, his whole brain shut down completely to instead focus on imagining himself being struck by lightning and run over by horse carts and the like.
Whatever he was feeling in that classroom definitely isn't what he's supposed to feel when he wants to hold hands with a girl—he'd probably end up throwing her, or something. He'd take her hand and then he'd throw her out the window. He wouldn't mean to, but he hadn't meant to do any of this!
He wasn't embarrassed, he was just upset. He didn't like Jenny like that, and now he was her boyfriend. Now she was looking at him with little stars in her eyes and she truly had every right to.
He was her boyfriend. Her boyfriend. It made Sirius sick and dizzy.
Potter was a dead man.
Right after the final bell tolled Sirius met with James at the same spot outside, next to the school dumpster overlooking the football pitch.
He had the gall to wait for him with a big, doggish grin on his stupid face. Fag hanging from his lips.
Sirius charged to him, threw his bookbag into the wall where it bounced off and thumped onto the asphalt, grabbed James by the shoulders, and shook him. The fag flew out of his mouth, sailed through the air, and sizzled in dumpster gunk.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!" he roared. "WHY! WHY!"
"Shit, Pads!" James wriggled out of Sirius's grip and ran away towards the football pitch. Sirius chased him—and James might've been in shape and athletic, but he was a smoker too, Sirius was very, very angry.
He caught him in the middle of the hill, grabbed him, and they toppled down together.
The grass was frozen and it sprayed half-frozen dew onto his face, his hair—and then it was spraying onto James's hair because Sirius was on top of him and pushing his head into the grass.
"You—you stupid bastard!" Sirius panted, smushing James's head down harder the more the little prick whinged. "I told her yes!"
James started laughing. Sirius roared.
Eventually, after more wrestling and Sirius eventually ending up on the bottom end of things because James had some truly absurd football strength, they just lay together in the grass, panting, looking into the cloudy grey sky.
It had started to sprinkle a bit. Little frozen drops of water landed on Sirius's lips.
They hadn't wrestled like that in a while. Maybe not since year six, when Sirius could still beat the stupid fucker.
"I'm so cold," he heard James whisper beside him.
"Fuck you," Sirius replied, heating up with renewed anger. But he was cold too. Frozen rain was soaking into his wool collar and he was starting to shiver.
James shrank a little bit and burrowed into his big puffer. "Come on, it couldn't have been that bad. Jen is nice."
Sirius propped himself up on his elbows and gave James a truly scalding look. " Why would you ever make me go through that without telling me first!"
"I'm sorry!" James squeaked. "I'm really sorry. When she told me–"
"You knew before this?!"
"–well, she asked me for advice! I just remembered you saying that you liked her legs, and I honestly thought I was doing you both a favor. And she really likes you!"
"I KNOW THAT!"
James rolled over into the six-yard box, sat up about a meter away, and spit out a tuft of grass. "Please don't fight me again," James said. "You did really badly, and now I'm fucking freezing."
Sirius huffed and sat up himself.
After a moment of silence between them, and James brushing the dirt off his stupid puffer (which had made him as easy to grab as a wet hotdog), Sirius said, "I don't know what to do about her. I can't take it back now. I said yes."
"Just go on a few dates and then tell her that it was a mistake."
"I really don't want to! How about I let her catch me with another girl?"
"What? No!" James looked aghast and his glasses were crooked. "Why would—no! No, listen, just say yes to the first few dates, pay for dinner a couple of times, and then cut it off. She'll have gotten a few meals and you'll have gotten to feel her up. You'll end it as friends. Simple as that."
Sirius glared down at his blueish fingers and simmered darkly.
Of course, he could afford a few dinners and all that, but he didn't wanna wait a couple of weeks for it to be over. He wanted it over now. He felt that, if he let the ruse continue longer just for the sake of eventually ending it, she'd want to kiss him, and he was absolutely certain that kissing Jenny Lupin would be as bad as kissing his mum. She was his friend. If anything, it'd be like kissing Prongs.
And she'd definitely want to kiss him. Girls just seemed to want to. Sometimes they said it as soon as they saw him, do you mind if I kiss you? They were insatiable, and Sirius couldn't imagine how Jenny was any different—now, not even barring that fetid floral stink they all seemed to have.
But he also didn't really want to cheat on her. It'd be cruel, and Sirius wasn't cruel. Not to his friends.
He stared at the grass and the dirt and a ladybug for a long time, and then he finally murmured a placid, "Fine." He sighed deeply. "S'pose I do wanna grab her bum."
"Ah, that's a good lad!" James beamed, stood up, and walked in front of Sirius. His trainers were muddy as all hell and had grass stains all over the white parts. "Think of it like that."
"Yeah."
"So, do you wanna bunk off now?"
Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep breath, concentrating on the black, and swayed slowly. He felt about ready to pass out.
"Alright."
A/N
I'm trying to reedit as I go back through to post this, and this chapter fucking rocks for real. I kept reading it like wooow thats so good and I reread the other chapters today as well? NOTHING, DRIVEL, BULLSHIT BURN IT KILL IT. So keep reading guys! Im glad you got to the end (⇀‸↼‶)⊃━ ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ lol omg wtf
On a final note, looking for: British people to ask about slang and stuff; nemeses; beta readers
PS: Sorry remus doesnt show up at all in this one, but can I just say that when I read the part in the monologue where Sirius calls her Jenny LUPIN I literally gasped out loud. Bruh. You wrote this dummy